“I know. But you can’t blame all Shadows now for what happened. You can’t. Michael isn’t
—”
“Michael destroyed that Shadow. He killed the thing that murdered my parents. I still don’t like him, but I owe him my gratitude for that. And I know he killed Jonas to protect you.”
“That’s right.” Michael did protect me. He’d done that many times. He’d told my father before I left that he’d rather die than hurt me. I believed him.
I’d do anything to help him. I’d fight for him till the bitter end. I didn’t care what everyone else said about Shadows, he wouldn’t hurt me. He could control this. And he would fix what was wrong with him. With my help.
We’d wandered into the Erin Heights community park. Not the most popular place in the dead of winter, but it was very active in the summer. Lots of trees, a river, picnic areas, soccer field, and a kid’s playground. And plenty of benches.
Rhys ran his hand absently through his short hair. It was dark outside, but thanks to the floodlight we stood under, I could see his brown eyes clearly. He had these gold flecks in them that seemed to swirl when he was feeling emotional, which I didn’t think humans could see since no one else ever mentioned how strange it was. Tonight they spun like twin tornados.
“In the book,” he said, “there’s some solid information, but there’s also a bunch of blank pages. Maybe whoever composed it was going to keep writing, but had to stop for some reason.” I felt the first swell of hope in hours. “But there is information in it?”
“Yes. And some of that information...” He looked at me. “I know what happens to a Shadow who’s absorbed another’s energy to the point Michael did with Jonas. It changes them deep down. It makes them crave more, just like a drug. Most Shadows that this has happened to have been killed by demons because they become too dangerous to control. This is one of the reasons information has been kept from them. Most Shadows have no idea they’re even able to do such a horrible thing...and when and if they find out, it’s too late. They’re addicted to it.” I felt the color drain from my face. I had known this already, of course. I’d seen Michael’s struggle with my own eyes only a short time ago. But to have it confirmed—to know it was something that had been documented...
I exhaled shakily. “I need you to get the book for me from wherever it is.” Rhys absently brushed some snow off his sleeve, his hands encased in fashionable wool gloves. The guy looked like an ad for G Q right in the middle of Erin Heights. “So you can try to find out how to help your boyfriend?”
“Yes.” I held his challenging stare before I faltered. “Well, he’s not really my boyfriend. Not officially. But yes, I want to help him.”
His brows went up. “I’m getting confused. Is he or isn’t he your boyfriend?”
“He hates me right now. I told my father that Michael’s got a serious problem. That he’s very dangerous.”
He studied me. “Did he try to hurt you?”
I turned away and crossed my arms, focusing on a twenty foot evergreen to my left. The snow came down heavier, and large flakes landed on its branches. “I’m not talking about this with you.”
“But you want the book.”
“Of course I do!” I spun around to face him. “Rhys, I swear—”
“I’m not trying to renege, Nikki. I have the book. Not on me, but I can get it in a matter of minutes.”
I let out a long sigh of relief. “Well, good. So let’s go get it.” He waited.
I looked at him. “What? Why aren’t we going right now?” He spread his hands. “Well, there’s just the matter of our deal.”
“Our deal,” I repeated.
“Yes, you do remember what you agreed to, right?”
My heart pounded. After everything I’d already dealt with that day, I wasn’t sure if I could deal with my deal. “I’ll owe it to you.”
“It doesn’t work that way.”
I sighed. “So you’re saying you want me to kiss you, right here and right now? And if I don’t, I don’t get the book?”
He frowned. “I’m not sure why you’re making it sound so terrible. You did agree to this. I’m only asking you to hold true to our bargain.”
I felt utterly exasperated and exhausted. “God, Rhys. Are you really that much in love with me that you’re that desperate for me to kiss you again?” His expression froze and his eyes narrowed. The swirling gold flecks in his eyes caught the floodlight’s glare. “You dare speak to me in such an insolent manner?”
“Stop talking like you’re two hundred years old. You’re sixteen, just like me.” He hissed out a breath that condensed in the chilly air. “I don’t understand you, Nikki. At all.” I turned my attention to the ground, digging the toe of my shoe into the muddy ground under the snow. “What’s to understand? You have something I really need. I don’t know why you can’t just give it to me...just to be nice.”
“Maybe I’m not that nice. Why are you making this into such a big deal?”
“Because it is a big deal. If I kiss you...”
“If you kiss me, what?” he demanded after I trailed off. “You’re afraid you’re going to like it too much? That it’ll make you forget Michael for once and for all?” I groaned. This was all too much. I was already conflicted about my feelings toward Rhys, confused about this “kiss” I’d agreed to and how it might feel after the one we’d shared under the mistletoe. But this was not the right time for it. I wasn’t sure when it would be, but this was not it. Period.
“You don’t know how my day has been,” I finally said. “This isn’t something I want to do or even talk about right now. And even if I do kiss you, it’s not going to mean what you might think.”
He glared at me. “Excuse me?”
I felt a cool resolve fill me as I faced him, angry that he continued to press me on this. I refused to lead him on, not when I was dealing with my already incredibly confusing feelings toward Michael. The last thing I needed was to have confusing feelings about two boys. At the same time. Bad idea. “I don’t like you that way. And, just for the record, I’m not marrying you.
Ever!”
“You, Princess Nikki,” Rhys said darkly, “are a self-involved child.” My mouth dropped open. “What?”
“You agreed,” he growled. “I asked for this one small thing and you agreed. Now you’re refusing me. This isn’t about a stupid kiss anymore. This is about you lying to get what you wanted, and you actually thought you could get away with it. That I’d just hand over the book anyway like some fool. But I won’t be used.”
“You’re totally overreacting!”
“Kiss me right now or I’m leaving,” he said firmly.
“You are such a jerk!” I glared at him. “I’m not kissing you now. I’m not kissing you ever again!”
“Fine, have it your way. Goodnight.” He turned from me and started walking away. I just stared after him, dumbfounded.
Oh, God. What had I just done?
Things just went from bad to worse. He took a hissy fit because I wasn’t in the mood to lock lips with him. But because I’d chosen to take a stand and not give in to his demands, I may have just condemned Michael to a one-way trip to the Underworld dungeons and Queen Sephina’s dubious mercy.
Panic swelled in my chest, followed by a double dose of guilt.
I couldn’t even blame Rhys. Not totally. Sure, he was a jerk, but I was the one who’d gone back on our stupid, stupid deal.
I walked over to the evergreen and kicked it. Then I swore because that really hurt my foot and a bunch of snow fell on my head.
I had to go after Rhys and...apologize.
Ugh.
Again, someone had put their trust in me and I’d let them down. I refused to kiss him out of pride and stubbornness, not for any good reason. Not even because Michael asked me not to kiss Rhys ever again. I’d said no because I just hadn’t felt like it at the moment.
Now I had to fix this before it became irreparably broken. I had to get tha
t book, and then I needed to convince Rhys to take me to the Faery Realm so I could run across the field to get to the Shadowlands.
I kicked the tree again.
My phone chimed and, still keeping Rhys’s departing form in view through the falling snow, I fished into my pocket and answered it.
“Yeah?”
“Nikki, where are you?” It was my mother.
Crap. “Out.”
“When are you coming home?”
“Soon. Really, really soon.”
“It’s snowing. Do you need me to pick you up somewhere? I can come get you.”
“No, it’s okay,” I said. “I’m not far away. I won’t be long, I promise.”
“Okay, hon. See you soon.”
I hung up and slipped the phone back in my pocket. When I looked up, Rhys was gone. My breath caught.
Where did he go? He was in view only a second ago.
I let out a very long, very shaky sigh before I pulled my phone back out to scroll through my messages. I quickly texted him, hesitating only briefly before I hit send.
I’m sorry. Come back.
The Italian restaurant...the nice clothes Rhys wore. The “reserved” card on the table I’d barely noticed. The smile Rhys gave me as I sat down across from him...
It had been a date. And after we’d finished with dinner he’d planned to give me the book and...then I would have kissed him.
If I liked kissing Rhys without mistletoe to blame for it, then what did that mean?
My cheeks grew very warm just considering it. This wasn’t supposed to be so confusing for me. I liked Michael. I wanted Michael as my boyfriend, nobody else. Especially not somebody I found endlessly annoying and frustrating. Someone who’d told me he hated demons from the very first day we met.
Rhys hated me right now. I was quite sure of it.
The thought made my heart twist.
Besides, how could I even think about any of this while Michael faced the wrath of my father in the Shadowlands castle? And that was the happy end of the bad stuff he’d have to deal with now that his secret was out. All thanks to his misplaced trust in yours truly.
And I had no idea how to fix it all and make sure everyone I cared about was happy and safe.
Rhys would text me back. We’d meet up again and everything would be okay. I’d just have to deal with one thing at a time. Too many might overwhelm me.
I headed in the direction he’d gone in, but found that my path was now blocked.
Melinda stood right in front of me.
“What a coincidence,” she said.
I studied her for a moment with surprise. “I’ll say.” My shocked gaze fell to the sword she held at her side, then slid back up to her face.
“So,” she began, “about that crazy delusion I had earlier today about you being a demon...” I swallowed hard. “What about it?”
She raised the sword so it pointed in my direction and her eyes narrowed. “Nice try, demon.” Chapter 17
My best friend was pointing a sharp sword at me and didn’t look afraid to use it.
I could barely find enough breath to speak. “Melinda, let’s talk.”
“Better make it quick. I don’t have any more patience for your lies.” This couldn’t be happening. She’d believed me this afternoon, I saw it in her eyes. What changed? “Why are you doing this?”
“Why am I doing this?” she repeated. Her voice was dry, calm, and totally steady. However, her eyes blazed with fury and indignation. “I pieced it all together, Nikki. And I saw very clearly that Patrick didn’t lie to me. You’re the liar. And you’re the demon. What I saw today was real.
The spell showed me your demon form. But the spell only worked once and you managed to convince me what I saw was wrong. But it wasn’t. Patrick may be annoying and demanding, but he’s never lied to me. Not once. But you have. Over and over again.” I wanted to convince her she was wrong, but I knew she wouldn’t believe me this time. I saw it on her face.
She knew.
So maybe my commitment to denial was completely wrong. I had to do something different now. What I’d been trying to avoid since day one when it came to Melinda. More lies weren’t going to get me anywhere.
That left me with one alternative. Something I hadn’t been using too much lately since it never seemed to be very helpful.
The truth.
Sadly, I realized it was my last resort.
“I’m half demon,” I said slowly, fearfully watching her for any sudden movements. I might not be able to take on a trained demon slayer with a pointy weapon, but I was a very fast runner when I had to be. “I only found out a month ago, just after my birthday. My father is a demon.
My mother’s human and completely innocent of everything.” Melinda didn’t speak for a moment, as if surprised I’d said anything at all. “Does she know the truth?”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, willing myself to remain calm. “No. She knows nothing about this. She doesn’t even know my father was a demon. And I’m really hoping she doesn’t find out any time soon. Hint, hint.”
She snorted. “Don’t even try to make light of this.”
I tried not to focus on the sword, but it was hard to keep my eyes off something so terrifying.
“I’m not. There isn’t anything funny about this, Melinda. And for the record, I knew you were a slayer in training from the day of your Christmas party. I went downstairs and saw the arsenal and the books. I knew your ballet lessons were a lie. So if you want to talk about telling truths, maybe you should look in a mirror sometime.”
“What’s your plan?” she asked sharply, ignoring the accusation. “Are you here to take over the human world and enslave mankind?”
I blinked with surprise. “No, thanks. That sounds like a lot of work. Look, Melinda, I know you have the wrong impression. You think demons are all bad. Well,” I cleared my throat nervously, “some of them are. Some are really bad and totally live up to their reputations, which is why they’re not in the human world. They are stuck in Hell and the Underworld to keep it safe here. But others aren’t evil. Like me. I’m exactly who you know me to be. I’m your best friend.”
“Shut up,” she hissed and jabbed her weapon toward me. “Don’t even say that. You’re my enemy.”
I took a big step back from her, almost going over on my ankle. “No, I’m not. I know Patrick sensed the truth, but did you have any kind of idea of what I was before today? No, you didn’t.
You’ve never doubted my friendship before. Don’t start now.”
“I’ve only known you a few months. I don’t know you at all.” I winced at that. A reminder that, compared to Larissa and Brittany, I was still the new girl around town. “You do know me. And deep down, you know that. I would never, ever hurt you in a million years. Did I lie today? Of course I did. I knew I had to protect myself and my mother from you and your secret society.”
“What about your father?”
“He’s not around.” I swept my gaze around the area. We were alone. No cars, no pedestrians.
Just the two of us, a soft snowfall, a path, a floodlight to light up the area, and trees flanking us on all sides.
“Where is he?” she demanded.
“Not here.”
Melinda’s lips thinned. The grip on her sword hadn’t loosened. She held it so tight her knuckles were white. She must have some serious upper body strength because that heavy sword didn’t lower a single inch. “You’re protecting him.”
I shivered and met her gaze full-on. “Of course I am.” Her expression was fierce. “I’m a demon slayer, Nikki. You know what that means.” I did. It meant she was supposed to slay things like me. And I wasn’t sure how to stop this from happening. It had gone too far now, and I was very afraid how this was going to end between us. I never wanted it to come to this.
“Where’s Patrick?” I asked, my heart thudding. A large part of me was worried he was nearby, coaching Melinda like Michael coached me. Waiting
to jump out and act as backup the moment she needed it. I’d stand no chance against the two of them.
“Not here,” she said, echoing my earlier comment about my father. I think she was mocking me.
Anger pressed in on all sides. I didn’t want to be afraid, but I was. My best friend had filled me with fear. And that pissed me off. “You didn’t want to invite him along for a fun night out slaying your best friend? Would I be your first kill? You really think you can stick that sword through my heart like it’s no big deal?”
Her upper lip drew back from her teeth. “Don’t try to make me feel guilty here.”
“Why the hell wouldn’t I?” I snapped. “You’re the one who’s signed up to be a murderer.”
“And you’ve signed up to be a demon.”
“Half-demon. And I didn’t have a choice, this is how I was born. I’ve accepted it. You chose to quit being a demon slayer because you hated it. That was a choice. I had no choice.”
“I saw you. Those horrible wings and horns and...it was disgusting.” She shuddered.
It was exactly how I’d felt about my Darkling form in the beginning. I hadn’t known what it meant, it was so different, so scary. Now I knew my disgust hadn’t been because my Darkling form was ugly. It was because it had terrified me.
Melinda wasn’t disgusted. She was afraid. Just as afraid as I was.
She took a step closer to me. I took another step back. I didn’t want to shift form because I knew it would freak her out even more than she already was. But in my human form I lacked the extra strength I desperately needed to defend myself.
I really didn’t want to have to fight my best friend if I could help it. That would mean that one of us was going to lose.
Emotion rose inside me, enough to choke me. Tears burned my eyes.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” My words came out shaky. “And I sure as hell don’t want you to hurt me.”
But what was I supposed to do when she was all ready to play judge, jury, and executioner?