Instinctively I moved to where Michael stood silently and reached out to him. But as our hands would have normally touched, mine slipped right through his as if he was no more than a . . . than a . . .
. . . a shadow.
20
There was no substance to Michael. Not solid—like he was just a ghost.
His expression was pained as I looked into his now-gray eyes. “I’m sorry, Princess. I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
“Your amulet . . .”
“It helps a Shadow maintain solid form,” Elizabeth said from behind me and chills ran down my spine. “There aren’t many Shadows left after all this time. It must be horrible to have to rely on an amulet to live or die. Without it, he’ll simply fade away to nothing before too long.”
My eyes widened as I looked at Michael. “Is that true?”
He didn’t say anything, but I could tell by the look on his face that this was one thing Elizabeth wasn’t lying about.
I turned to face her. My hands were in fists at my sides. “Where’s his amulet?”
She sighed. “I don’t do this to be cruel, Nikki. I want you to know that. But he has been given several direct orders and he’s failed me every time.” She glanced at Michael. “It’s almost as if he believes that you care for him as more than a servant. Or else why would he continue to protect you so single-mindedly?”
“I do care for him as more than a servant,” I said fiercely. “Now give him back his amulet.”
Her eyebrow raised. “Oh, I see. This is your ‘somebody,’ is it? The boy you think wants you to forget him, and whose true feelings are unknown to you?”
“His amulet?” I said louder.
“I’m afraid you’re not really in a position to demand anything from me.” Her expression turned graver. “But I do empathize. I know what it’s like to care for somebody others feel is wrong for you—Desmond never approved of my relationship with Kieran. But you know, even if all was normal again, there is no way your father would ever allow you to be with a Shadow—it’s forbidden, just as demon/human romance is. As I said before, Desmond is very set in the ways of old.”
She sounded oddly empathetic for a power-hungry, murderous demon.
“I appreciate the pep talk,” I said dryly.
“Oh, Nikki.” Her forehead furrowed deeply. “You remind me so much of myself. I know what it’s like to be a woman faced with a destiny she didn’t ask for, you know. You didn’t ask to be half demon. What a horrible burden to put upon someone so young. The very thought that if you harness that power you risk your own death—it’s tragic, really.”
She still didn’t know I’d turned Darkling and had lived to tell the tale. But I wasn’t telling the tale to her. It was my secret.
And Michael’s. And the thug Dax’s. But a quick glance at Dax’s ugly but worried face told me he wasn’t going to be spilling the beans anytime soon.
“Nikki,” she pressed. “There’s no time to continue to argue this. You have to drink the potion.”
Have to.
I looked at Michael then. I didn’t need telepathy to know that he wanted me to run. To get away and leave him behind.
A huge roar sounded out at that moment. A cry of pain. The sound helped me pinpoint where my father’s room was—behind me and down the hall. He was so close!
Elizabeth cringed. “Why won’t he stop fighting and make it easier on himself?”
Despite everything, did she feel guilty about what she was doing? She was a demon, and according to the king of the faery realm, demons were all evil. Across-the-board darkness, no exception to the rule. Even Rhys had assumed I was evil, though he didn’t sense it from me. I could touch a unicorn—whatever that meant. So maybe Rhys was wrong.
Was there a piece of Elizabeth that wasn’t that bad? She was killing her brother to please her boyfriend. But there had to be something there, something that was eating away at her. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking. She had gone too far. She’d made her decisions and I’d made mine.
I knew what I had to do.
I turned and ran as fast as I could toward the room I’d heard the roar of pain come from. I could hear Dax’s thundering footsteps behind me, but he was big and heavy and couldn’t run as fast as I could.
At the end of the hall, I turned right onto a long corridor and it finally seemed familiar. There was only one door. It was closed but unlocked and I burst in without knocking.
The room looked the same as before and my father still lay on the bed, but now he was curled on his side, the coal-colored skin of his forehead drenched with sweat.
“Nikki—” His voice was so weak I could barely hear it.
I ran to his side. He attempted to reach out toward me with a black, taloned hand, but it dropped back down to his side. I grabbed his arm.
“Dad . . .” I began, but realized that he’d fallen unconscious again. “No, please wake up!”
Elizabeth and Dax entered the room and Michael was right behind them. I scooted around to the other side of the canopied bed.
Elizabeth’s gaze tracked to her brother and then to me. “It’s too late, Nikki.”
My father’s eyes flickered open again and he looked up at me and then over to his sister. “Elizabeth, I am near the end. I can’t fight anymore.”
“No, you shouldn’t fight,” Elizabeth said. “But Nikki hasn’t drunk the potion yet. I don’t know what to say to convince her that it’s for the best.”
His attention moved to me. “Nikki, you must drink it. When I pass, the power of the kingdom will transfer to my heir. If you don’t drink the potion, that will be you. You’ll be trapped here. I want you to be happy, to take care of your mother, and not to worry about any of this.”
I clung tightly to his arm. Michael and I exchanged a glance and he looked desperate. Not only for his own situation but for mine.
“I’ve changed my mind,” I said then. “I do want to be queen after all.”
Elizabeth’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”
“Are you sure about that?” my father asked.
I nodded. I thought about Rhys and how he was the king of the faery realm even though he was only sixteen. “I’m sure.”
“But . . . what about your normal life? What about school? Why would you change your mind about something like this?”
“Because Elizabeth can’t be queen.”
“Why not?”
I glanced at her and her eyes narrowed at me, her previously pleasant expression—even during her veiled threats—disappearing.
“Because she’s been poisoning you,” I told him.
Elizabeth’s mouth dropped open. Did she really think I wasn’t going to say anything?
I kept talking. “Every time she brings you water it has poison in it. She’s been trying to kill you. She wants the throne and she’ll do anything to get it.”
Elizabeth underestimated me if she thought the lure of going back to my regular life and forgetting all about this would be enough to deter me. How shallow did she think I was?
I didn’t want this. But if she thought she could take the throne and destroy everything my father had achieved—even at the expense of giving up his happiness with my mother—then she had another thing coming to her.
In fact, I’d made this decision earlier at the dance—even before I realized what Elizabeth’s nasty plan was. I just hadn’t realized how strongly I felt about it. All I knew was that it felt right to me—even if it meant going against what everyone else wanted me to do.
And if the power of the kingdom shifted to me and Elizabeth tried to kill me? Then she would have one hell of a fight on her hands.
“Elizabeth,” my father said, and even though his voice was weak, the name still held power. “Is this true?”
She came to his side so we looked at each other over my father’s prone form. “Of course not. I don’t know what has gotten into her, but your daughter is completely wrong. Why would I want to harm you? You’re my brot
her.”
“It’s true,” Michael said from the edge of the room. He had his arms crossed over his chest now and was visibly shivering even though the room wasn’t cold. “Elizabeth has been poisoning you so she and Prince Kieran can share the power of the Shadowlands.”
“You’re still seeing that devious Underworld prince?” My father’s eyes shifted back and forth quickly as if he was thinking very hard. “No. Elizabeth, I . . . how could I be so horribly blind?” His forehead creased and his brows drew together. “Why would you do this to me? I trusted you. Above all others in this world, I trusted you. You would watch me suffer these weeks and say nothing?”
She backed away a step. “There was no other way. I have to be queen. Why did you bring your daughter here? She’s ruined everything.”
My father was struggling to sit up and a flash of fear crossed Elizabeth’s expression. However, despite his fierce demon exterior it was apparent that he had no strength left at all. He couldn’t do anything to stop her. The poison continued to eat away at his remaining life.
She looked at me then, and her eyes turned to red. “You leave me with no other choice, Nikki. You could have made this so simple. Two sips at the most and none of this would have mattered to you. I’m not as horrible as you probably think I am. I’ve done what I had to do, but no more than that. I didn’t want to kill you.”
I willed myself to remain calm. My father was staying conscious but I could tell that it was a struggle.
“I think you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you’re better than you really are, Elizabeth,” I said.
Her eyes narrowed. “Right now you are vulnerable. If I wait until the power shifts to you, you won’t be. This is my only opportunity to make things right.”
“Nikki,” my father said, “I can’t protect you. I’m too weak.”
“Then I’ll have to protect you.” My grip increased on his arm and I glared at my aunt. “Forget it. Not going to happen.” I glanced at Dax, who stood expressionless by the doorway with his arms clasped behind his back. He looked like a bouncer.
I could feel Elizabeth’s desperation and her growing anger like a crackling of heat along the surface of my skin. There was the briefest flash of her demon then. It scared the hell out of me. I’d almost forgotten that she also had a demon form just underneath the surface of her beautiful human exterior.
“I think I know what to do,” she said after a moment and I watched her apprehensively as she reached into the pocket at the side of her skirt and pulled out Michael’s amulet, holding it up by its chain. I felt the air leave my lungs in a rush.
“You do know what this is, yes?” she asked.
“Of course I do.” I was literally trembling from trying to sound strong when I felt anything but.
“Your Shadow can’t help you now, Nikki, but perhaps you can help him.”
Michael had become so transparent that I could see through him to the wall behind. By how pale and shivery he was, I could tell he wasn’t feeling very well. Being without his amulet had damaged him. It contained his life force, his ties to the world. Without it he was . . . nothing.
Elizabeth waited for me to say something but my mouth had gone so dry that I didn’t think I could have formed words even if I wanted to.
So she continued, her voice tense. “Please listen to me, Nikki. I know you care about him. Drink the potion and I will give this amulet back to Michael. If you refuse, then he will continue to fade away until he has completely disappeared from our sight. Even then he’ll still exist. He’ll be invisible to the world around him, but in desperate, constant pain for many years until he finally dies. It is a horrible end to give somebody you obviously have feelings for. I can’t imagine that you’d ever want him to suffer so greatly.”
I looked down at my father then, tearing my attention away from Michael’s fading form, and saw that his breathing was growing more shallow and his eyes were closed. He had slipped unconscious again. When I looked at Michael I could see the raw desperation on his face.
“Don’t listen to her,” he said. “Forget about me.”
Forget about him. I didn’t think I could. Not ever. I felt changed, and not just because I had discovered my Darkling side. It was something deep inside of me that didn’t want the people I cared about to be hurt if there was anything I could do about it.
I’d tried to be strong even though I was quivering inside. I’d tried to be brave. But I didn’t think I could do it anymore. A tear trickled down my left cheek, betraying the emotional breakdown I was feeling inside.
“I need a decision,” Elizabeth said. “Please, Nikki. The time has come.”
She thought she was giving me a choice. Let Elizabeth rule in my father’s place or condemn Michael to years of torture.
But I’d already made my choice. I couldn’t turn back now.
21
“Don’t do it, Princess.” Michael drew closer but it only helped me to see the pain he was going through. “Please . . . let me go. Your father wouldn’t want you to sacrifice the kingdom for me.”
“First you want me to drink it.” My voice broke a little as I said it. “Now you say don’t drink it. You’ve very indecisive, do you know that?”
“That was when I wanted you to save yourself, not me.” He gave me a very weak smile. “Don’t drink it. I’m not important.”
I blinked back more tears. “You’re important to me.”
He reached out to me and our fingers passed right through each other. I felt nothing at all, not even a glimmer of energy from him. It was much worse than getting a jolt of electricity from touching his amulet by mistake. This . . . this nothingness was much worse.
I wondered if I could grab Elizabeth then and take the amulet away from her, but another glance at Dax showed me that he now held it. Besides, the brief glimpse of her demon earlier had proven to me that she wasn’t just a pretty blonde in a long red gown. She was powerful and scary and, at the moment, desperate for me to do what she wanted no matter what the cost.
Elizabeth held up the little bottle to me and I took it from her without another word.
My father’s eyes flickered open again and he sucked in a breath of air. “Elizabeth, you must stop what you’re doing while you still have a chance. It’s not right. You can’t make Nikki do this if she doesn’t want to.”
“It is her choice,” Elizabeth said. “I’m sorry, Desmond. I truly am. But this is the way it has to be.”
Has to.
“Nikki . . . ,” my father managed.
I held the cool bottle in the palm of my hand, my cheeks wet with tears. “When Michael first told me I was half demon, I didn’t believe it. I thought he was crazy. I had to see it with my own eyes and when I did it nearly scared me to death. I just wanted to fit in at school. I didn’t want to be a demon princess and I sure didn’t want to become queen of the Shadowlands.”
“I know,” my father said. “That’s why I had the potion made for you.”
“I could see that you were a little disappointed that I took the bottle from you so quickly. That I wanted to forget.”
“It’s the way it must be,” he said. “The choice has always been yours, not mine. Not Elizabeth’s. Even now, Nikki, the choice is yours.”
The magic potion had been the perfect solution to all of my problems. But I’d had some time to think about it since he’d first given it to me. I’d thought long and hard about what my choices really were—even beyond the threat that turning Darkling would kill me. And I had already made my decision of what to do.
For better or for worse, I was still certain it was the right one.
I took the top off the bottle, tipped the vial back and drank down every last drop of the red liquid. When I was finished I looked at my aunt.
Her expression was tight and her shoulders tense. She nodded. “Very good. Everything will be fine now.”
I swallowed hard. “The amulet? We made a deal.”
“Of course.” She held out her
hand and Dax came to her side to give her the amulet. “I cannot tell you how relieved I am, Nikki.”
I didn’t reply. I just held out my hand and she gave me the chain with the large green stone. At the moment, the stone was as gray as it had been in the alleyway yesterday afternoon. I squeezed the chain tightly in my hand. My father’s expression was grim as I let go of him and moved away from the side of the bed toward Michael.
All that was left of him was a fading shimmer. Although I could see the outline of him, his clothes had become shadowy and indistinct, and the rest of him blurred. His eyes were still intently fixed on me and filled with pain.
“You should have done it to save yourself.” His voice sounded miles away and strained. “But not for me. I’m nothing.”
“You’re not nothing. When are you going to start believing that?”
Michael had almost disappeared completely. How could the amulet work if it was solid and he wasn’t? I reached toward him and was surprised when I could touch his arm. It must have had to do with me holding the amulet. I could still see straight through him, but his arm felt solid and very cold.
“Hold still,” I advised.
“There’s no time,” he said again. “Your memories—”
“Don’t worry about that right now.” I went up on my tiptoes and slipped the amulet over his head, letting the gray stone drop down to his chest. Keeping a tight hold on his arm, as though if I let him go he’d fade away completely, I waited. He struggled to breathe and I could still see the pain in his eyes, but as I continued to watch him I saw color return to the stone a little at a time. As it did, his form became clearer and more opaque. His eyes changed from gray to green at the same speed as the amulet regained its color. I watched his handsome features fill in, the line of his arms and chest and legs. Even the Van Halen T-shirt was back and looked faded only because it was old.
After a minute had gone by I couldn’t see through him at all. He was back.
I let out a great big sigh of relief and threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly against me.
That is, until his amulet gave off its old familiar, painful jolt and I jumped backward, rubbing my chest. “Ow.”