“Thinking of the past will do no good.” Mother said, breaking through my memory. She was staring at me in a calculating manner, her blue eyes not missing a detail. I was always frustrated with her cavalier manner, but Mother was a lot brighter than anyone would care to admit. She was just smart enough to know her intelligence wouldn’t get her anywhere. Either than, or she had given up hope a long time ago.
“I wasn’t thinking about that.” I murmured casually, ignoring mother as she raised her eyebrows in disbelief. She strolled towards my bed and sat beside me, stroking my head soothingly.
“Ophelia, I was young once. I know what you’re going through. Seeing certain people will always bring back…memories.” I turned to stare at her doubtfully. What was she going on about?
“I’m not the most encouraging mother, but I’m not one to create false hopes. Because it is devastating when what you imagine doesn’t happen in reality.” I looked at her carefully, noting the sincerity in her eyes.
“We live in a world of realities, Ophelia. Don’t forget that.” Mother finished, placing a kiss on the top of my head and tucking me in like she did when I was small.
“I still miss him. What am I supposed to do about that?” I whispered, surprising myself. No matter how many times I tried to forget...he was there. Mother stopped mid step, but didn't bother to turn around.
“Good night, Ophelia.” She said dismissively, shutting off the lights behind her and plunging me in darkness.
To me, Henry was an old lover. Someone who showed me what heartbreak felt like. After ‘rebuilding’ my life, I assumed that I was strong enough to face him. I also assumed that my feelings for him were gone. But as soon as I saw him again, as soon as he touched me, those feelings started trickling in...like a dam with a leak in it. As much as I would like to ward him off, I couldn’t. I was starting that fear that my feelings had never truly left. Instead, they had been buried and were trying to resurface.