“I do.” She rubbed her eyes and tried to pull herself together, cringing inwardly as she remembered how terrible she’d looked in the mirror earlier. “What are you doing here?”
“I was worried,” Hall admitted, sitting down on the edge of her mattress. “After yesterday. I thought you were mad at me. I didn’t know you had a migraine. I thought you were avoiding me, and I…”
“You what?”
“I wasn’t going to have that.”
She sighed and relaxed back against her pillow, gazing up at him. “We both know you’re the kind of guy who prefers to play games. We also both know that you’re hiding something. We both know you refuse to tell me the truth. Your being here and my migraine do nothing to change that.”
“Maybe they do.”
She just stared at him, unable to read the quiet expression on his face. His eyes never wavered from hers.
“What?” she demanded, after a minute of silence.
“Can I help your migraine?” he asked, reaching out a hand.
She knew what he was asking. He’d done the same thing the first day they’d met and then pretended he hadn’t done anything. She nodded mutely, unable to object, even though logically she knew she should.
He reached out for her, pulling her into a sitting position and then drawing her into his arms. She leaned against his chest as one of his hands slowly rubbed her back, moving up to the nape of her neck.
He massaged her gently, and she sighed in response. Then she gasped as she felt that inner tug, like something new, something different, was flooding through her body. It was him. It was Hall. The connection was stronger than she’d felt it before, and she could recognize his presence inside her now. It was like he was stroking inside her, transforming the pain into pleasure.
“Oh, fuck,” she muttered, her fingers tightening in Hall’s shirt. “Oh, fuck.” It felt so good—so full—that her eyes blurred over and her skin broke out in perspiration. “Don’t stop.”
She could sense Hall breathing heavily as he kept pressing into the back of her neck. He was moving all through her, consuming her, melding with her completely. She’d never felt anything so incredible in her entire life.
Finally, Hall broke the connection, moving his fingers away from her skin. He was panting like he’d just run a marathon, and his face was flushed and slightly dazed.
“I didn’t want you to stop,” she whimpered, fumbling to reach for the hand he’d dropped. She felt strangely empty without him inside her that way.
“I know,” Hall replied hoarsely. “But it takes a lot out of me, and I’m not sure it’s a good idea for me to be filled with you so completely.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’ll keep wanting more of you.”
A different kind of pleasure filled her at the words, and at the clouded pleasure and affection in his face.
She slumped back down onto the bed, her migraine completely gone and a deep satisfaction relaxing her body. “I need to lie down.”
“So do I.”
She nodded her permission when she recognized the question on his face. He pulled off his boots and then stretched out beside her on the bed.
They lay next to each other, both breathing heavily, for a few minutes until she rolled over and nestled beside him.
He wrapped his arm around her, holding her against him.
“Are you going to tell me what you are? I mean, what you can do.”
“You just felt what I can do.”
“But how do you do that?”
“I don’t know. I was born that way.”
“You’re more than just a Reader.”
“Yeah.”
“You…you can make people feel a certain way?”
“I can change how they’re feeling—sense it and then turn it around. But there’s no name for me. Not yet, anyway.”
“And no one knows?”
“Very few. My partner Lenna knows. And a couple of…of friends. But I keep it secret, for obvious reasons.”
“The Coalition would want to use you.” The truth was becoming clear to her now. It all made perfect sense. His behavior. How she’d felt around him.
“Yes. If they knew who I was and what I could do, I’d never be free.”
“Well, I don’t blame you for keeping it secret then.”
“I wasn’t really trying to hide things from you, Kyla. It’s just not something I easily tell.” His voice was hoarse again, but this time it sounded like earnestness rather than the response to his use of his powers.
“I understand.” She felt a tightness in her gut, one that made her feel vaguely sick, even though she was still filled with relief from the passing of her migraine.
“What’s the matter?” Hall asked. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“So you…” She cleared her throat. “So you made me feel the way I felt around you.”
“No!” His body tightened against hers. “No. I eased your pain—today and on the first day we met. But I didn’t change the way you felt otherwise.”
“But the other night. When we were…at the masquerade. I felt you…I felt you inside me. You were making me feel that way. I’ve never felt like that before.”
“I’d opened a connection. I didn’t mean to, but I was so wrapped up in you that I…” he sighed. “It wasn’t intentional. But I was just feeling you then—feeling what you were feeling. I wasn’t changing how you felt. You have to believe me.”
She raised her head so she could look down at his face, and she would swear by all that was holy that he wasn’t lying. “You…you weren’t?”
“No. I wouldn’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“I might not be the most ethical guy on the planet—on any planet—and I’ll admit that I’ve used my gift for some dubious purposes in the past, mostly to get out of trouble caused by the jobs I do. But I wouldn’t use it to get a woman into bed. That would just be rape in a different form, and I’m not one of those guys. And I’d definitely not do it to you.”
“Why not me?”
“Because I want you to want me for real.” He reached a hand out to stroke her cheek. It felt incredibly good, despite the fact that he hadn’t opened that inner connection.
She blinked. “So what I feel for you…”
“Is real.”
“You’re not intensifying it or anything?”
“No.”
“But it’s so…so strong. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
“Good.” He pulled her head down toward his so he could kiss her very lightly. “Then you might have a little taste of the way I feel about you.”
She was filled with him again—differently than before. Even without that palpable connection between them, she was still overwhelmed by him, consumed by him. His strength, his spirit, the sincerity in his eyes, the warmth of his presence. She moaned softly and kissed him back, hers deeper and hungrier than his had been.
He returned the kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth and pulling her down so her body was pressed against the length of his. His hands started to stroke up and down her body, and she moaned again into his mouth as the pleasure filled her.
“Kyla,” he murmured, his lips still moving against hers. “I don’t want to move faster than you’re comfortable with, but if you don’t want this to go further right now, one or both of us should get out of this bed.”
She found his arousal and rubbed herself against it, all of the tedious disgust she’d felt about sex before vanished in the wake of the bone-deep hunger she felt for Hall. “I want to stay in bed.”
“Are you—” He broke off the question with a thick gasp as she reached down to massage his hard cock through his pants. “Fuck, are you sure, Kyla?”
“Oh, yeah.”
At her words, he made a feral sound in his throat and rolled her over onto her back, moving above her with a possessiveness that thrilled her. He leaned down to kiss her hard, and she arched up into h
is weight as her body responded to his.
She clutched at his shirt and then his hair as he started to kiss his way down her body, over her thin gown. She wriggled and panted as he skillfully teased and caressed her, the fabric between him and her skin only intensifying her frustration. Finally, she bunched up her skirt and pulled her gown up over her head, tossing it over the side of her bed.
Hall gazed down at her naked body hotly.
“Hall,” she whimpered, arching up and trying to pull him down by the shoulders. “Stop staring and do something.”
“You are so gorgeous,” he murmured.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.” He brushed his lips down her throat, pausing on her throbbing pulse.
“You’re just deluded because you like me.”
He gave a grunt of amusement as he mouthed one of her breasts. “This far exceeds like.”
“Oh.” She flushed with pleasure—more emotional than physical for the moment. “But my point still stands,” she managed to say, after a little gasp when he tweaked her nipple with his teeth. “You’re deluded about my appearance.”
“No, I’m not. I thought you were gorgeous the first time I saw you, like a….” He trailed off as he fondled her breasts, making her moan and shake. “Like a violet, perfect and delicate and hidden among the plain grass.”
He really seemed to believe it. He believed she was beautiful, desirable, everything she’d always known herself not to be.
In his eyes, it felt like she was.
She parted her thighs as he trailed more kisses down her body, mouthing her belly and cupping her ass. She was hot and wet and throbbing for him now, and cried out loudly when he moved his face between her legs, nuzzling gently until she opened for him.
He used his tongue and teeth to tease her, working her up until the pleasure was tightly coiled inside her. He flicked at her clit with his tongue and then slid two fingers into her wet pussy, stroking her internally until she was shaking helplessly.
“Are you going to come for me now?” he asked hoarsely.
She clutched at the bedding and tried not to squeeze her thighs around his head. “Yes, oh, yes. Hall, please.”
She sounded helpless, but she felt that way too. She’d never known she could be so out of control.
He sucked at her clit and fucked her with his fingers until the tension broke with intense waves of pleasure. She cried out shamelessly as she came hard all around him, and in the midst of it she felt a familiar inner tug, opening up a different, deeper connection with him.
Then he was with her in the pleasure. She could feel him there. She was almost sobbing as the climax continued, vaguely aware that he was choking out a helpless exclamation as well.
When she finally came down, she was fisting her hands in his hair, holding his face in place at her pussy.
He was shaking too, and he was deeply flushed when he raised his head to meet her eyes.
“What happened?” she asked, her voice cracking. She was limp with the aftermath of pleasure and a kind of release she’d never felt before.
“I connected with you,” he explained thickly, raising himself up but only to collapse beside her on the bed. He was breathing even more heavily than she was. “Accidentally. I totally lost it.”
She peered at him as her mind finally started to work again. She gasped. “Did you come too?”
He made a face. “Let’s not tell anyone that happened.”
She burst out in giggles, both amused and deeply affected by the way he’d lost control. “You came in your pants?”
“Let’s not dwell on it,” he muttered ruefully. “It was only because I was feeling what you were feeling. It’s a lot of pleasure to handle, you know.”
She was still giggling as she wrapped an arm around, nestling against him. “So you’re saying you think I enjoyed it?”
His smile changed from ironic to something deep and almost tender. “I know you did. I did too. And maybe next time we can go even farther. I just need a few minutes to recover.”
“Me too,” she admitted, pleased when he wrapped an arm around her again, holding her in an embrace.
They lay in sated silence for a few minutes until Kyla admitted softly, “I always thought I didn’t like sex.”
“That’s because you never really knew what it was about before.”
“What do you mean?”
“All you knew was the physical,” he murmured, stroking her hair. “All that you saw every night in Court. To tell you the truth, most of the sex I’ve had in my life hasn’t been much better or deeper than that. I never knew how good it could be when it’s…it’s real.”
She adjusted so she could see his face, and she smiled at the expression in his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I guess that’s the difference.”
They gazed at each other for a minute before she lay her head back down on his chest.
He idly rubbed her hair, her back, until he said, as if simply following the line of his thoughts, “You know, I was in prison last year.”
“What?” Her whole body stiffened in surprise.
“Lenna and I were on a job. She got away, but I was caught.”
“And they imprisoned you?”
“Yeah. One of those hellish prison planets. That’s when I came close to killing myself, like I mentioned to you before.”
“But how are you out now and still alive? I thought no one came out of those.”
“They don’t, usually. I managed to escape, with…with some friends.”
She noticed his hesitance over the word friends. “You made friends there?”
“I guess. I mean, we worked together to get out. I like them. I…think they think of me as a friend.”
“What was the prison like?”
“It was hell. Humans turned into animals. If I hadn’t had my…my gift, I would have been ripped apart there. It doesn’t matter how clever you are in a place like that. It’s only brute strength that comes out on top. I’m incredibly lucky that my gift was able to protect me.”
Kyla gulped at the thought of what could have happened to Hall in such a place. “That’s awful. How long were you inside?”
“Just several weeks. That was enough. I…was changed when I came out. I used to think that life was just a game, but I can’t really do it anymore. I wonder if that’s why…”
“That’s why what?”
“I was ready to meet you.”
The words were careful enough, but Kyla couldn’t help but understand the implications. She shivered in pleasure, that he was saying something she desperately wanted him to be saying.
“Anyway,” Hall went on, after clearing his throat. “I only brought it up because my friends inside there were a couple—they’d only met in prison, but they’d fallen in love with each other. And watching them…”
“Have sex?”
He chuckled. “No, although they did seem to have a lot of sex. But what I mean is that watching them together—do something as human as love each other—was one of the only reasons I was able to survive. I’d never really understood it before, but I wanted to experience it myself. And now I think I have.” He smiled at her as she raised her head.
“Oh.” She was suddenly terrified, that things had gone too far, she’d opened herself up too much, when nothing had really changed about their situation.
The hand that had been stroking her grew still. “You’re scared. I told you that when people got to know me for real, they were always afraid of me.”
“No! No, it’s not that. I’m not afraid of you because of that, because of your gift. I was at first, but not now. I was actually thinking about it, and I think I’m not afraid of it because you…you’ve been giving with it, not just taking.”
He grew very still. “Have I?”
“Yes.” She smiled up at his face. “Maybe you don’t even know it. But I can feel you through the connection. You’re not just reading me. You’re giving me you. I can’t be afraid of
that.”
“I…guess. I never knew I could actually give with it before.” He was stilted, confused, but then he sounded normal again when he asked, “If you’re not afraid because of that, why are you afraid?”
“Well,” she began, swallowing hard, “you’re still a Potential, and I’m still just a younger daughter of the royal family of Evalon. Things are pretty hopeless between us.”
“They don’t have to be.”
“What do you mean?”
“Leave with me. Come with me when I leave.”
She sucked in a breath and sat up quickly, pushing her hair back from her face as she stared down at him. “What?”
“You heard me.” His eyes never left her face.
“I can’t leave.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not allowed. I’m the backup for the Lady Governor.”
He shook his head. “You don’t have to be. You can be someone for yourself.”
Her head was spinning now, for a different reason than before. “But I can’t leave. I belong here.”
“Only because that’s all you’ve ever known. You can’t tell me you love it here. I simply won’t believe it.”
“That’s not the point. It’s who I am.”
“It’s who you always thought you were, but that’s not all you can ever be. Come with me. Be someone else.”
She felt almost sick from the fluttering in her belly. “And what? Follow you around while you smuggle?”
He frowned. “No. We can do something else. Just tell me what you want to do, who you want to be, and I’ll help you get there. I just want to be with you, whatever that looks like.”
She stared at him, panting as she tried to wrap her mind around what he was saying. “You’re serious?”
He sat up too, taking her face in both of his hands. “Dead serious, Kyla.”
“But you don’t like shackles, and I don’t want you to feel like…like you’re stuck with me just because I left everything for you.”
“So there won’t be any shackles on either side. No ties and no commitments. I don’t want you to feel beholden to me because I helped you get out. So we’ll agree to no shackles. We can be together for now, because we both want to be, and we’ll let the future work itself out. I think we can do it, Kyla.”