He shook his head. “Hard to believe five minutes ago I was inside you and now we’re making mental lists of things we need to do.”
I grinned, rubbing at my face. “Come on, Geoff, we were never the lay around type.”
“Yeah.” He pulled me up against him to kiss me hard. “But some day we will be.”
That was my Geoff…always the dreamer of the impossible.
* * * *
Diana played in the corner of the room while the guys and I took our seats around the conference table. I didn’t know where my mother was, and after our last discussion I wasn’t sure I wanted her with Di right then anyway. The others had to get themselves settled in what was going to be really uncomfortable quarters for the next however long it took to go wherever we ended up. I wanted her with me while we figured things out. Even so, I lowered my voice to say things I suspected would upset her. Dane sat to my left, Cooper to my right. My back was stiff. These were my husbands, but right then they felt more like my opponents. They had ideas and mine were quite different. “We’re totally exposed up here.”
Wes drummed his fingers on the table. “Not entirely. I made updates to the ship over the last eight years. We’re not as easy to spot anymore. They’d have to realize their equipment is bouncing off us and adjust. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but we did manage to get to you without being spotted. Geoff made several trips, apparently, on and off the planet to cart everyone around. We haven’t been blown up yet.”
I rubbed at my forehead. “Then I’d say our good luck has probably run out.”
Nolan snorted. “So pessimistic, baby?”
I ignored his taunt. No one saw the glass less empty than he did. “Let’s say we can manage to not get blown out of the sky by Olivia’s psycho soldiers in their expensive ships. Then where are we going? Geoff said the black hole? Everyone is fine with that? And has anyone checked with the others we took? Do they want to go to Mars or Earth or wherever we end up?”
C.J. leaned back in his seat. “I haven’t taken an official poll and I’m not going to. I get the impression they’re happy we didn’t leave them down there. Other than that, I’m not going to ask them where they want to go. This isn’t a democracy…you’ve always been in charge, M.”
“Let’s not be ridiculous. If I was ever really in charge, I’m not now. For years, my mother held me hostage to her plans. Then I had no memory and needed to practically be spoon fed.”
Cooper interrupted me. “You shot two men in the head and managed to find me on a space station. I’d say you pulled it together pretty fast. Not exactly spoon feeding.”
“Be that as it may.” I leaned forward. “Geoff has twice now taken me against my will. I’m pretty much not in charge. So whichever one of you has basically assumed command, do it already so we can all get back to doing what we need to do to make this impossible situation actually happen.”
“Guess I have a thing for kidnapping. Who knew?” Geoff’s ridiculous statement made them all laugh and I rolled my eyes.
“See? That’s what I’m talking about. I know things changed in eight years for you all. I get it. But if Geoff had ever dared to knock out Nolan in the past? He’d be bloody by now. Not sitting around acting like everything is fine.”
Nolan shrugged. “Maybe I’m mellowing in my old age.”
“Hardy-har-har-har.” I gave Nolan the finger which caused more laughter.
Nolan stretched his hands over his head. “I know Geoff’s got my back. Do I love that he drugged me? No, but Dane’s been pulling that shit for years. I usually get a good sleep out of it.”
Dane shared a look with Cooper I couldn’t decipher. “If you could have what you want, Melissa, what would it be? Throw it out there.”
Diana yawned, catching my attention and I looked over to where she played with a toy model truck I’d once seen in Wes’ room. He must have given it to her. Unless she stole it…
“Reminds me of someone.” C.J. spoke in low voice. “You and I used to do this in conference rooms.”
“Yeah. Yeah.” Cooper shook his head. “You two have known each other forever. We all get it. She was about to answer a question.”
C.J. held up his hand. “Oh come on now, Prince, jealousy so doesn’t suit you. I actually had a point to bringing up M’s childhood. We were raised rebels. It is possible to do it. We could give her a life on ships.”
I raised one finger. “We have one. No plural there.”
He waved his hand in the air. “There have to be broken ones around. We have Wes. He can fix anything.”
For his part, Wes groaned and closed his eyes. “I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration. If I had endless time and resources, maybe I could fix anything. As it is, I think we’re going to have to make a threshold. I will fix a ship with x amount of problems and we leave one with y. Make sense?”
“In this hypothetical scenario C.J. has created where we are stealing broken down ships, letting Wes fix them, we end by doing what?” There had to be a point to C.J.’s plotting. He wouldn’t be bringing it up if he hadn’t thought it through.
“We do what we do, M. We’re rebels, Nomads. We give those people you’ve been with ships and they do it, too. We get back to the business of disrupting the status quo.”
My head throbbed. “We weren’t that good at it the last time. We didn’t even see Olivia coming. Three ships—two of them are still just pretend at this point—versus the woman who took down the universe?”
“She didn’t take down the whole universe.” Geoff interrupted. “There’s Mars. There’s Earth. Much as your father made me nuts, he’s there.”
Cooper drummed his fingers on the desk. “For now. Wes got us through the black hole. We all know he’s a genius. Smartest guy ever. My guess, however, is eventually Olivia is going to figure out how to open it, too.”
“She’s the one who closed it.” I had to point out what he might not know.
“When she runs out of planets and people to cause terror to here, she’ll want to deliver some elsewhere.” Cooper closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he clenched his jaw, his gaze going distant. “Truth is my father was a weak man. A bad leader. But that hasn’t been endlessly true. My grandfather and his father before him were powerful men. Ruthless. Scary. Deadly. Seems Olivia is their rightful heir. It certainly wasn’t me. I don’t have the stomach for needless bloodshed.”
The room fell silent and I wondered if everyone was thinking along the same lines as me. “Dane, you asked me a question. What do I want?”
He ran his fingers over my hand and shivers travelled down my arm. “That’s right.”
“If I could have anything I want in the whole universe, it would be to get Olivia off the throne and put Cooper there.” Hearing me say this, Cooper whirled in his chair but I didn’t let him speak yet. “It’s the only way we make it safe for the children. I don’t want to be a rebel. I don’t want to run away through a black hole and never look back—not if they can follow us. I want to kill Olivia.” I winced as I realized I’d said that in front of Diana, only it was too late to take it back. “I want Cooper in charge. For the very same reasons he doesn’t think he should be.”
“I do not want to be king.” Cooper stood. “And that is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said. Nolan, turn this ship toward the black hole or I will. Sure, there is a chance for us to be caught there. It’s still our best option. I am not anyone’s savior. I’m a giant mess.”
I took his hand. “Cooper, no one is asking you to lead alone. We’re your family. I’m not suggesting shoving you on the throne and leaving you there while we gallivant around. I’m saying we’ll all go with you. You can dissolve the monarchy for all I care. Make some kind of republic or let the planets govern themselves. Just get your sister off, put you on, and go from there. That’s how we make Diana safe. That’s how we have a life.”
Dropping Cooper’s hand, I stood. “You asked me, Dane. There it is. But I agree. Let’s set a course fo
r the black hole. I stopped believing in dreams long ago.”
“Hold on.” Cooper sat. He leaned forward. “Tell me. How would it work?”
“I don’t know. I just threw it out there because Dane asked me for my dream scenario. I don’t actually expect it to work.”
C.J. grabbed my attention from across the table. “Someone would have to go down there. I think we all know it would have to be you, M. A woman. You throw enough of a fit and get to Olivia. I’ll bet she even has it down somewhere you get to see her. She liked you. Or at least that’s how Cooper told it.”
“We’d have to have something down there for you ahead of time.” Geoff shifted in his chair. “C.J. could get a gun or a weapon hidden. They never had his face. He could walk down the road in Ochoa and no one would know who he was.”
Nolan picked up the train of thought. “Not just a weapon. C.J. would need to set up a bomb. Or a series of them down there. A few of Geoff’s babies.”
“M gets to her and takes her out. I’m already down there, waiting. I set off the bombs, take out enough of her guys so there’s little resistance. Meantime, Wes has been working on restoring some of the ships or stealing a few of the ones they have working.”
Nolan nodded. “And I take care of the little one. She stays with me until the whole thing is over. Kills me to not be there to protect you, baby, but that’s how it goes.”
Cooper threw his hands in the air. “And I step up and claim the throne. Proclaim myself surprise supreme leader and we all hold hands and walk into the sunset.”
Dane exhaled loudly. “There will be a lot of people who need help. A lot of women who have been abused, drug addicted guards who needed to withdraw. It’s going to take a long time. We’ll need lots of help. I know there are other doctors out there somewhere who feel as I do, who would rally to do good for a change.”
“You’re all going to ignore me? Just pretend I’m not telling you that it won’t be this simple?” Frustration radiated off Cooper. Diana rose to her feet and walked toward him, throwing her arms around his waist. He oomphed before a smile crossed his face. “I’m okay, sweetheart.” Diana climbed up onto his lap and leaned back. Cooper scratched his head and took a deep breath. “I’m not wrong.”
“No, you’re not.” I stood. “But you’re not right either. Don’t worry. I’m not going to go running off. I have no intention of trying to handle anything myself. If any of you try to take matters into your own hands—” I pointed at Geoff. “—I’m going to be seriously pissed.”
“So what am I doing?” Nolan got to his feet. “Black hole or Ochoa?”
Artemis shifted violently, sending all of us tumbling like dominoes to the left. I jerked around in time to see Cooper blocking Di’s fall with his body. She was okay and from the way he rolled during his fall I assumed he was as well. My arm, which had taken the brunt of my fall, ached but I wasn’t badly injured.
“What the fuck?” Nolan jumped to his feet faster than the rest of us and charged from the room. Artemis had been on auto-pilot, hiding behind a moon somewhere. They’d told me but I’d only half paid attention. Another problem with my being in charge of the ship. I just didn’t care that much about the running of it anymore.
I wanted things to work, end of story.
We ran after Nolan, all of us on the same wavelength. Wes called over his shoulder as he ran in the opposite direction, “I’m checking the engine. I’ll com you if there’s something wrong.”
Dane took the long hallway. “I’m going to check on everyone else.”
That left C.J., Cooper, Diana, Geoff, and myself to follow Nolan to the controls. When we reached him, he was already seated and messing with the controls. “Damn it, motherfucker.”
I sat in the chair next to him. “What’s the problem?”
“Someone fucked with the controls.” He winced. “Sorry, kiddo. You’re going to have to get used to Uncle Nolan’s potty mouth. Just ignore it.”
“Let’s not worry so much about your profanity right now and more about the first part of your statement. Somebody came in here and touched the equipment?”
He nodded. “Yep.”
C.J. walked forward and touched the tablet. “Are we visible?”
“During the shake rattle and roll we would have been,” Nolan answered.
Much as I hated the workings of the ship, I was going to have to learn the new machines. I gritted my teeth. I’d only been awake a few hours.
“So if we were being scanned then we’re done.” C.J. slammed down the tablet. “Of course space is big, so why would they have been looking here?”
I touched his arm. “Because this is how our luck goes, C.J. I can almost guarantee that when the ship shook someone watched.”
Goosebumps broke out on my arms and a hard line formed between C.J.’s eyes. He nodded once before turning to Cooper. “Are the cameras online?”
Cooper picked up the tablet C.J. discarded. He spoke with an eyebrow raised. “Assuming you didn’t break the delicate machinery with your little throwing tantrum, I think they should be working.”
He pressed a few buttons and a scene appeared on the tablet. I moved closer to examine the screen. Cooper scanned backward until a figure appeared. I gasped although I shouldn’t have. I’d seen in her so many facets over the years. Why had I forgotten she could be a deceitful bitch?
Cooper sighed loudly. “I want to put her out the airlock.”
“Let’s find out why she did it first.” I put down the tablet so Diana wouldn’t see who we spoke about. “Then we’ll decide if she should be gotten rid of.”
“You serious?”
I nodded once. If I clenched my teeth any tighter I was going to give myself a migraine. “As a heart attack.”
Geoff scooped up Diana. “She and I are going to go see if the ship’s a mess.”
He whispered something in her ear and she laughed. I took a deep breath. “It really would have been easier raising her with all of you.”
Cooper took my fingers in his and squeezed. “We would have fought over who got to hold the baby.”
“I could have gotten a shower.” Saying the word reminded me how much I needed one. As soon as we dealt with my mom, I planned on getting cleaned up.
I let go of Cooper. What I had to do, I had to do alone. They would all have their opinions and I respected how much they all hated her. My own feelings were mixed. Becoming a mother had both softened and hardened me. I’d kill for Diana without blinking and had done so many, many times. It had also shown me that people were just that—people. Humans who were, for the most part, trying to survive in mixed-up circumstances they could barely understand let alone decipher. I was lucky if each day I didn’t screw up so badly the whole world ended.
My own daughter didn’t speak. And that was on me.
But before I went any further, I had to deal with my own mother. One way or another.
Chapter 13
Long Days and Longer Nights
MY mother stared out the window of the shuttle bay into the vastness of space. I waited a beat but she didn’t turn around or acknowledge me when I entered the room. My stomach knotted the way it always did whenever anything in life concerned her. She looked old and frail. Had I been dismissing her out of hand lately because she appeared so aged? Had I made a huge error? Fallen into some kind of trap?
“Why would you make the ship shake? Make us obvious to the enemy?” I couldn’t imagine an answer she would give me that I’d deem acceptable. Still, I wanted to know if for no other reason than sheer curiosity. What would drive her to expose us and thereby stick herself in danger at the same time?
She turned around. Her jaw was set in the way that would have, when I was a child, made me shiver with fear. If her teeth were clenched, I could count on a beating. Or two.
But I wasn’t a child. I was a grown woman with a child of my own and she lived based on my good graces. I wouldn’t let her intimidate me.
She ought to fear me.
> Only she didn’t and that was either because I was weak and foolish, sentimental, or she had no sense whatsoever. One way or another, I’d soon know which.
“Why delay the inevitable?”
Well, I hadn’t expected that response. “You shook the ship because you want them to catch us sooner than they would have otherwise? You want to be raped, abused, and who knows what else? You want that for me? For Diana?” I could barely speak the last word. Children were not exempt from the atrocities.
“No,” she shouted back at me, her face turning a bright shade of red. “I know what will happen now. You’ll never let them anywhere near your daughter. You’re a better mother than me. You’ll end all of this. You’ll realize what I know. It’s time to end it all.”
Even though a minute is a long time to stand in silence, I’m pretty sure that’s how long I stood there staring at her with my mouth hanging open. Finally, I had to speak. “Are you talking about suicide? Or about me killing Diana?”
“Both. First Diana. Then you and I will take care of each other. Your men,” she said the last word like it tasted bad in her mouth, “they’ll be fine. They always were. A total waste of time for you anyway. If you can’t handle it, I’ll do it for you.”
“Mom.” I couldn’t believe I had the ability to form words. My head spun, my throat threatened to close up, and it took everything in my power not to beat her to a pulp. “I might actually consider something like that to save Diana. But let me be totally clear. As transparent as I can be. If you come near my daughter with any intent of violence, whether you think it’s to help her or not, I’ll rip your fucking head from your body. As for my men, they’re worth ten times you. We’re not getting caught. We’re running for the black hole. And if you’ve screwed up our head start, I’ll gut you.”
The worst thing I could do to her would be to tell her I’d leave for Ochoa and drop her off there on my way for the black hole. But even I couldn’t make a threat like that. Not on my worst day.
I guess there really are lines I won’t cross.
Her eyes were wide. “We can’t go through the black hole. That’s where your father is.”