But there was something I hadn’t said that I needed to because who knew what could happen? What if I never got the chance?
“I love you, C.J. I’ve thought about you every single day. Not having you has been like an ache in my soul.” My voice cracked but I didn’t stop. If I cried, then so be it. “I should never have made you wait four months to be part of my life. I made all kinds of stupid choices over the years. Please forgive me, for all of them.”
He stopped moving. “M. I…I think you know I’ve been in love with you my whole life. There’s nothing I ever wanted more than to be yours. Whatever conversation we have later about the small details that made up the last years, we’re together forever. I love you, too. And you’re still calling me C.J.”
His last statement made no sense. “What else would I call you?”
“Before you had your mind erased, you called me Christopher James, even though I hated it. After, I was C.J. I’ve had lots of obsession time for eight years. I wondered if I would be C.J. or Christopher to you when we found you again.”
“I’m both who I was before and who I was after. It’s hard for me to explain. But you’ll always be C.J. I can promise you that.”
* * * *
The cabins were well stocked, although there were only two of them. We’d all gotten very used to sharing space with one another but I didn’t know how C.J. would deal. To his credit, when we divided up the beds and he found himself on one of the bigger ones with me and Diana, he didn’t even blink.
“Stick her between us?” He laid her down on the bed and she squirmed before she readjusted. Diana’s ability to sleep wherever we were had always amazed me. It would be months before I settled enough here to feel comfortable enough to get any rest.
“She’ll be good.”
He nodded before he took off toward the wash area. I hadn’t been wrong. It wasn’t more than basins of water we had to heat. But there was food, which meant we would actually eat in the morning. I followed soon after him, waiting until he got back to go in. Whispers echoed in the small space as everyone got ready for bed. Were the guards coming? Were we all about to get caught? Would I end my days on Ochoa?
C.J. had lain down on one side of the bed by the time I made it out of the bathroom. I crawled in the other side, Diana’s body rolling until she was half over me as she always slept. I stared up at the ceiling in the darkness.
“Hey,” C.J. whispered in the darkness.
“Hi,” I answered. His body heat warmed up the bed. He leaned over, kissing me gently on the lips. “Go to sleep. This isn’t going to be forever. And you’re safe. No one is getting in here tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll likely be swarmed by our family and you’ll be lucky if you ever get to take another breath without someone watching.”
He reached over Di’s head to touch my forehead. “Sleep.”
Maybe because he was with me, or because I was bone weary exhausted, I actually did.
When I woke up, light streamed through the windows. My body ached because I hadn’t moved all night. I rubbed at my lids until they opened fully and rolled over. Diana sat up, leaning against the headboard, staring at C.J. who whispered to her.
“That’s right. Your Mommy hated spiders but she absolutely loved mice. We used to run through the space station looking for them, crawling in and out of holes we shouldn’t have been in. One time we ended up…”
“No,” I interrupted. “Don’t tell her that story. I don’t come off well at the end of it.”
“What? You shrieking down the hallway because one teeny tiny spider dropped on your head?” C.J. laughed and so did Diana. It was a beautiful sound.
I groaned. “She’s going to go looking for spiders now.”
“Would you do that?” He sat up, stretching his arms over his head. “Would you actually torment your mother?” He scooped her up. “Let’s go eat.”
So this was actually happening? I hadn’t dreamed it. C.J. was here and he was making my daughter laugh. The others were likely on their way. There was food to be had. The day was really looking up.
My good mood plummeted as soon as I made it outside. Ships were visible in the atmosphere, which meant they were low enough to be landing. Four of them circled in the distance. I’d never seen so many since we’d come to this planet.
“The guys still have their wireless readers on. It’s drawing a lot of attention.”
C.J. nodded. “This is a good location you all picked. Very hidden. I think if we stay mostly inside and don’t draw a lot of attention to ourselves by lighting fires we should be okay here for a while. I don’t know if it’s a good idea or a bad one for me to call them and tell them to turn off their chips. One call is a risk to the locators but maybe it’ll help.”
I shook my head. “Don’t turn it on. Let’s see what they do next. I don’t want them chasing the guys, either, but I can’t let them here, near Diana.”
“Right.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I’m going to stay obvious so that when the guys get here they know I’m okay and come in gently instead of with guns blazing. I won’t let myself be seen by the fighter pilots.”
I took his hand. “Be careful. I can’t lose you. I just got you back.”
He bent over and kissed me. Not the easy peck of the night before when we’d laid in the bed with Diana, but a full on claiming. His beard tickled my face and I moaned, loving the feel of it scraping my skin. I grabbed onto his shirt to hang on while his tongue pressed between my lips. My senses threatened to go into overdrive.
I needed him.
C.J. pulled back, his eyes hot while he looked at me. “How and when do people get alone time around here?”
“Usually, they kind of just ask me to watch their kids and go off. I’ve not been having any alone time per se.”
“That’s good. There are only five guys I share you with. I’d have to kill someone else.” He ran his finger down the slope of my nose. “Go get some food and then get back inside. Diana went with Tara to play with the kids. They’re in that cabin. I’ll…”
“Melissa.” I jumped as a voice I’d thought I’d been prepared to hear called through the bushes to me. “And I see you’re okay, C.J., which makes me want to kill you for getting us all worked up.”
Cooper.
I whirled around. There he was. Tears streamed down my face before I could stop them.
“Coop.” C.J nodded toward him. “Turn off your wireless. This second.”
He nodded, his gaze not leaving mine even when he clicked his wrist. “I guess there’s a problem with the network?”
“Yes.” He looked between the two of us. “I’m going to go for a few minutes and do something…” C.J. nodded to me before he walked toward the cabins.
I couldn’t stand it any longer, I threw myself into Cooper’s arms. He caught me and held me close. His hair was longer too, although he wasn’t as shaggy as C.J. and he’d gained some muscle. He felt bigger than before, stronger.
He sucked in his breath and I could hear his heart beating fast in his chest. His body shook slightly. “I thought I was ready to see you, Mine. But I can’t…I don’t.”
“I never thought I’d see you again.”
Cooper sucked in his breath. “That would make two of us. Even when Wes thought he could get us through, I didn’t really believe.” He shook his head. “You lied to me. Sent me to your father. I was supposed to help you.” He held me tighter. “I’m really pissed at you. Elated. And seriously mad.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “Can we just stand here like this even though you’re mad?”
Copper kissed my forehead. “Absolutely.”
A trickle of rain came down on our heads. It was cold but Cooper was warm and if he didn’t care, I certainly had no intention of letting go.
Finally, he tugged back but only to take my cheeks in his hands. “I am going to yell and yell and yell at you after I get over the sheer bliss of seeing you alive. Anything could have happened in eight years and I’d never have
known. My sister went crazy and I had no idea how bad everything was. You were just gone. All communication stopped when the black hole blew up. Mine, I’m not sure I could survive it again. You can’t do that. You have to let me stay with you no matter what the risks are.”
“I’ll never leave you again. Unless I’m dead. Okay?”
He sucked in his breath. “I kept thinking you were dead. And then your wireless signal was gone, which could have been for a million reasons, but I thought that was it. You were dead. Then Wes got it turned on for the briefest second and it showed life. I’ve never been so…”
I kissed him. Usually, I waited for one of them to kiss me. But, he needed it and so did I. His lips were smooth and cool from the rain hitting us. He moaned before he pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me to intensify our embrace. His hand tugged at the back of my head like he wanted me deeper inside of him. I wished I could be.
“Is there some place I can get you alone?” He breathed hard and so did I.
It was hard for me to form words. “There really isn’t privacy. Nothing about this is easy. We’re going to have to plan something. I need someone to watch Diana and C.J. has been waiting, too. He slept with her practically on top of him last night.”
His eyebrows raised fast. “Diana? Is that your daughter? Where is she?”
I turned around to point to where the cabins were when C.J. walked out holding her. “No,” I called out to him. “Keep her inside. It’s raining. The last thing we need is for her to get sick.”
Taking Cooper’s hand, we dashed for the cabin together. Diana’s eyes were wide and fully fixed on Cooper. She’d watched me over the last two days be handled by two different men when she’d never seen me with any before.
“Wow.” Cooper’s expression sounded more like a prayer than a statement. He raised and then lowered his hand toward her, telling me he’d decided mid-movement she wasn’t ready for him to touch her yet. “She looks just like you. Is she eight?”
“Five.” C.J. answered before I could. “None of us accounted for the differential of the black hole or if we did we forgot it for a while. I think we did talk about it for a while, right? Who can remember? Wes should have reminded us, but he was really pre-occupied.”
“We’re lucky it wasn’t eighty.” Cooper shook his head and then grinned at Diana. My heart wanted to explode. This was all so normal. Cooper and C.J. were with me and my daughter balanced on C.J.’s hip like she’d been doing it for years.
Cooper spoke again. “She looks just like you, Mine.”
“Really?” C.J. answered. “I think she’s much more Geoff.”
“Di.” I stroked the back of her head, not sure what C.J. had told her. “This is Uncle Cooper.”
My daughter didn’t talk but that didn’t mean she couldn’t communicate. Right then, she had Cooper’s full attention as she made eyes at him before she smiled and looked down.
“I’ve been wanting to meet you for so long.” Cooper finally touched the side of her hand. One quick stroke with his finger. “You have so many people who love you, little lady. A lot of dad-type figures who are never going to let you out of our sight. You and your mother. You’re both under house arrest.”
C.J. laughed which made Diana grin even bigger. “She’s not talking right now. M says she hasn’t in a while. So we’re going to work on that after we all get to know each other and we’re feeling safe again.”
If Cooper found any of that weird, he didn’t say. Just then another fighter jet boomed above our heads. Everyone looked up at the same time.
“I want Diana inside. I won’t have them seeing her. Your sister’s goons will take her…and enough said about that. We’re going to have an indoor day. Lots of playing and maybe some school work.”
They followed me inside where the other children were scattered about the room engaged in various activities. Diana dropped down out of C.J.’s arms and made her way to sit with the kids coloring in the corner. We had few things for them but what we did have they treasured.
“Someone needs to fill me in on the basics here. The wireless is off because of those jets above head, yes? The nightmare my sister created for everyone. You’re trying to stay off grid. Your mother’s in the corner and C.J. has surprisingly not killed her. This place is a nightmare. Diana can’t stay here. Let’s get her off this planet and onto Artemis. Like now. One click and I’ll get the ship here.”
I shook my head. “Look, there’s nothing I’d like more. But, it’s less safe in space than it is here. There’s nowhere we can go that the space goons won’t find us. Trust me, it’s bad. Your sister is some kind of military genius. She ran through us like we were toy soldiers. Or her dolls. Took out The Bridge and every other subsequent Nomad ship up there. Mom, Tara, and I barely got away with our lives. Any more hospitable planet catches too much attention. There isn’t anywhere to go.” I moved until I stood in the doorway staring at the mountains which would soon be covered in more than cold rain. Freezing temperatures and snow would keep us here for months. It would keep the guards away, too. When the other guys got here they could help…of course, it would also mean six more mouths to feed. They could have my portion; I hardly ate anyway.
“Hey.” C.J. took my arm, pulling me against him. “Where is your head?”
“Nowhere good. Thanks. I have a little trouble staying in the here and now.”
“That’s because she keeps us all alive.” Tara entered the room, poking around us. “She’s probably calculating exactly how much fuel we have or how she’s going to get all the children new clothes.”
I rubbed at my eyes. “Caught.”
“Seriously. Off this planet.” Cooper leaned against the wall. “There has to be somewhere else.”
“You’re the prince.” Tara’s voice raised. “Her brother.”
I placed my hand on Tara’s arm. “You knew Cooper was one of my husbands.”
“Right. But seeing him in person. Can you do something? Can you make this better?”
“I…” Cooper opened and closed his mouth a few times. “I wish I could. This person from the recordings, I don’t know her. I thought my sister was sweet, simple. Sure, sometimes she was off. But this? I never saw it coming.”
I needed Tara to understand. Cooper wasn’t going to take on Olivia. “She killed his brothers and his dad. No way is he going in there. I haven’t seen him in five years. I get to be selfish for two minutes. No, Cooper isn’t going to Ochoa for some ridiculous notion of an intervention with his psycho sister.”
If I was harsh, so be it.
Tara nodded. “You’re right, of course.”
Cooper spoke through gritted teeth. He either wasn’t happy with my response or Tara’s questions, or maybe both. “I’ll do something if we can come up with what exactly that something should be.”
“No.” I placed my hand on his arm. “We’re staying away from her. My days of heroics are over.”
“Well, we can’t stay here. I agree with Cooper, M.” C.J. tapped his foot on the ground. “Somewhere else.”
I’d thought about all these things years ago. If they wanted to rehash, they could have at it. Maybe they’d come up with something I missed. Except I knew better. We’d still end up here. On the edge of the universe with nowhere to go.
“Tell you what.” Tara looked between the three of us. “Take some time. In the third cabin. That’s right. I said third. Found it today. Apparently, it’s for emergencies only? I’ve got the kids. Go…get reacquainted.”
My cheeks heated up. I’d never actually been told to go have sex before. C.J. clearly had no issue. He grabbed my hand, pulling me outside, Cooper close on my heels. “Which is this third cabin?”
“It’s a bit away. We should stick to the tree line, avoid the jets above if they swing by again. When should we expect the others?”
“Hours.” Cooper answered. “We split into search areas. They’ll see my wireless went off and head this way. But it’ll be a while.”
I stopped where I was to turn to them. “Are we doing this then? Getting reacquainted, to steal her phrase? All of us…together?”
“I’ll share you for today.” C.J.’s voice lowered. “If Coop will.”
The prince grinned. “I like one on one. But it’s been years. I need you. C.J. and I will have to settle for sharing. We did it once. I think Diana came to be then, right?” Cooper pointed at the woods. “Run. Or next to that tree will be good enough.”
Chapter 8
C.J. and Cooper
COOPER banged open the cabin door. It looked just like the other two only it was hidden further away. It wasn’t ideal for living in for any length of time. There was no easy way in or out, which meant it had been a last minute hideout for a desperate measure. Or, I guess, to have sex with two of my husbands at the same time.
I was practically wet just thinking about it.
C.J. pulled me against him, kissing me hard. I let him claim me, my muscles immediately going weak against him. I wanted whatever they had to give. Whatever they needed, I would happily provide.
Cooper came up behind me. Between the two of them, they held the heat of the sun. I’d been so cold and I hadn’t even known it. His mouth caressed my neck while C.J.’s tongue danced with my own. He moaned against me and if I hadn’t been nestled between their two bodies my knees might have gone out from under me.
C.J. pulled back to grin at me. “What do you think, Cooper? I think she missed us.”
“Yes, fuck, she did.”
Evidence of how much Cooper missed me pressed into my behind while C.J.’s hard length strengthened in front of me.
“Arms up,” Cooper whispered in my ear. “You’re going to do what we tell you to. We’ve had fantasies. Eight years of them.”
I raised my arms. I was covered in goosebumps, but it had nothing to do with being cold and everything to do with anticipation. They stripped me out of my clothes fast. I’d never seen C.J. and Cooper cooperate so well before. But then again who knew what had happened in five—make that eight—years together, without me?