‘You have to be fast or you’re just giving your enemy another weapon to use against you,’ Raj continued. ‘It’s all pointless if you’re just giving someone a part of you to twist or break, leaving you weaker than you were before.’
Rachel had been struggling with the move for some time by now. Most of the other students had completed the move and they stopped to watch the scene play out.
‘I’m trying …’ Somehow, Rachel’s tone remained reasonable. But her face was red from exertion and embarrassment, and perspiration rolled down her cheeks. Her long, curly hair was pulled back in a pony tail that bounced with ironic perkiness as she tried the move again.
To be fair, Allie thought with a sigh, it was a simple move. All she had to do was block the fake gun in Nicole’s hand with her forearm, then swing a kick under the French girl’s chin to knock her back.
The others had got it the first time.
‘Try again.’ Raj’s voice was icy. ‘Try harder.’
As Allie watched, wincing at Rachel’s awkward moves, Carter joined her. They exchanged worried glances.
‘She’s not getting any better …’ He whispered the words in Allie’s ear. The warmth of his breath sent shivers down her spine.
‘I know,’ she said as Rachel prepared to try again.
This time Rachel’s kick went too high. Nicole had to jump back and Rachel nearly toppled over from the effort.
‘Not good enough,’ Raj said through gritted teeth. ‘No one leaves until you get this right. We’ll stay here all night if necessary.’
Jerry said something to Raj too quietly for Allie to hear, but Raj waved him away. ‘No. She has to get this.’
Carter shot Allie a telling look.
‘What’s the problem?’ Zoe walked up to join them. ‘It’s an easy move. I don’t get it.’
They all studied Rachel’s stance critically, hoping for a way to help her as she tightened her jaw and tried the move again, still panting from the last failed attempt.
‘Is there anything she’s doing wrong?’ Allie murmured, half turning towards Carter so he could hear her. ‘Is she not planting that leg?’
He shook his head glumly. ‘It’s just conditioning. Strength.’
This time, when Rachel swung, her foot ended up in the correct place, and Nicole feinted to one side, swinging up with her fist, which Rachel blocked.
Allie sagged back with relief. They’d done it.
Looking pleased, Nicole patted Rachel on the shoulder.
‘That was adequate.’ Raj’s tone was dismissive. ‘You must do better.’
But every person in the room knew Rachel couldn’t do better. And Allie had no idea what to do. If she was allowed out in the field in this condition she’d get killed.
Something had to give.
After practice that night, Allie walked out of the dressing room at the same time as Carter and they fell into step together. She cast a sideways look at him. He was looking ahead, frowning to himself, as if thinking about something troubling.
‘What the hell are we going to do about Rachel?’ Allie asked quietly.
Carter shook his head. ‘We’ve tried everything. She needs to drop out, for her own sanity. But she just … won’t.’
‘I wish I knew how to convince her.’ Allie said. ‘But I yelled at her so much at the beginning, now she just dodges me whenever the subject comes up.’ She gave a regretful sigh. ‘And I don’t blame her.’
‘You had your reasons,’ Carter said.
Allie considered this. ‘Sometimes I think I’m not really a people person.’
This surprised a wry chuckle out of him.
‘I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you,’ he said. ‘I don’t like most people and I get along just fine.’
For a while after that, they walked down the narrow basement corridor in companionable silence. The fluorescent strip lights above them buzzed quietly and cast the scene in a greeny-yellow glow.
‘Can I ask you something?’ Allie said.
He shot her a sideways glance. ‘Sure.’
‘Are you scared?’
He arched an eyebrow.
‘About the parley, I mean,’ she said. ‘It’s going to be messed up, right? However much we train and prepare. It doesn’t matter. It’s going to be bad.’
Carter shook his head. ‘Not scared. More like … I’ll be glad when it’s done.’
Allie nodded to herself; that was exactly how she felt.
‘I just wish I knew for certain everyone would be OK,’ she said.
They’d reached the foot of the basement stairs. Carter leaned against the handrail, studying her thoughtfully.
‘You know this isn’t your fault, right?’ he said. ‘All this …’ He waved one hand. ‘It’s not because of you.’
Allie, who very much thought it was her fault, bit her lip.
‘I get what you’re saying but … still. Maybe I could stop it if I just … I don’t know.’ She could hardly bring herself to say the next words. ‘Did what Nathaniel wanted. Joined his side.’
Carter blew out his breath. ‘I knew you were thinking that. I could just sense it.’ He held her gaze. ‘Look, Nathaniel is just using you as a focus point because it drives Lucinda nuts. What he really wants is the school. The organisation. Orion. Everything. He’d be doing this whether you were here or not.’
His words made sense but Allie still couldn’t accept his logic.
‘I get it. But I … feel like I’ve dragged all of you into this.’ She glanced at him and then away. ‘And I hate that. It’s so dangerous—’
‘We’ve all made up our own minds about this, Allie. The same as you. And we can change our minds. Whether or not I go to the parley is my decision, not yours.’ His words were sharp but there was gentleness in his tone. ‘And if something were to happen to me, it would be on me. Not you.’
Allie’s eyes shot up to his. ‘Nothing’s going to happen to you.’
A long look passed between them. ‘OK,’ he said with quiet intensity. ‘Nothing’s going to happen.’
A shock of connection like an electrical current jolted her. Their eyes locked.
She thought she saw something in his gaze – desire. And it made her legs feel strangely weak.
Jump.
A sudden burst of harsh laughter from the corridor made her start and she spun around. But it came from the distance – a group of Night School students further down the hall.
When she glanced back at Carter, whatever she thought she’d seen in his eyes was gone. He just looked a little bored.
With a sigh, he lifted himself off the wall. ‘It’s getting late. I’ve got to go.’
As he loped up the stairs, she flushed, mortified by her own confused thoughts.
I am losing it.
22
Twenty-two
After giving Carter a good head start so she was certain not to run into him again, Allie climbed the stairs to the girls’ dorm deep in thought. In her mind, she replayed their conversation over and over again.
The more she thought about it, the more idiotic she felt.
All he’d done was say something nice. Like friends do.
What if he’d noticed how she’d misconstrued it?
The very idea made her cheeks flame.
She hated herself.
She and Sylvain had something – something real. When he kissed her, she melted. And now they were back on track. Why couldn’t she just let it happen?
Why couldn’t she just let herself be happy with him?
She and Carter had once had a thing but it was over long ago. Now he was trying very hard to be her friend and she was being unbelievably stupid and messing everything up for everyone.
What really scared her was the thought that, if she wasn’t careful, she’d lose both Sylvain and Carter. She had to get it together.
Her mind was so occupied she hardly noticed where she was going, but it didn’t matter. She could walk through Cimmeria with her eyes
closed and never hit a wall.
She reached the elegant first-floor landing with its tall windows and graceful statues without looking up. As she turned left towards the stairs leading up to the top floor her trainers beat a soft dirge against the oak floors.
At the top of the stairs she waved absently at the guard, who sat in her usual chair shoved back against the wall, and headed down the long, narrow corridor lined with white doors, each with a black number painted on it.
By now she’d convinced herself Carter hadn’t noticed her strange reaction.
Maybe everything would be fine.
Her thoughts were in such a hectic whirl by the time she reached her room she was on auto-pilot. She barely noticed she’d opened her door – force of habit dictated how far she turned the handle, how hard she pushed.
Inside, she flicked the lights on with careless familiarity. Dropped her bag to the floor in the usual place.
Only then did she realised someone was standing in front of her.
She stopped breathing.
‘Hello, Allie,’ her brother said. ‘I thought you’d never get here.’
23
Twenty-three
‘Christopher …?’ Allie’s lips wouldn’t move. The word came out in a terrified whisper.
He stood in front of her desk, his back to the open window.
‘It’s me,’ he said, turning his hands over as if that proved it. ‘And I’m not setting anything on fire so … please don’t call for help until you hear me out.’
Allie’s heart was racing but it seemed hard to move. It was like she’d walked into a dream. A nightmare.
Christopher was really here?
There’d been a time when talking to him was the only thing she wanted. Now she was afraid of him. And angry.
When she’d first found out he’d joined Nathaniel she wouldn’t accept that he was lost to her forever. Eventually, though, she’d had to let him go. She’d had to accept that he’d chosen the other side in this battle.
Now here he was again, right in front of her, smiling that familiar guilty smile. Like he’d just broken something and wanted her to promise not to tell Mum.
Resentment and hurt made her stomach churn.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’ Her voice was low and ominous. ‘How did you get past the guards?’
He gave a short laugh. ‘It wasn’t easy. Look, I’m sorry to show up like this but I had to talk to you.’
He sounded calm but Allie saw his Adam’s apple bob with nervousness. In fact, now that she was aware of it, she could see the tension in his shoulders, his arms, the way his hands kept moving.
His fear gave Allie strength. Reminded her where she was and all she’d learned.
He should be afraid.
She studied him steadily, letting him see her suspicion. Making it obvious. ‘Did Nathaniel send you? What does he want?’
His fingers twitched.
‘Nathaniel doesn’t know I’m here. If he finds out …’ His voice trailed off as if what would happen was unsayable. Unthinkable.
A cool breeze blew in through the open window behind him. Outside Allie could see no moon or stars – nothing but darkness.
Her eyes narrowed. ‘Now, why would you take a chance like that? I thought you were his loyal subject.’
‘I was.’ He leaned back against her desk. ‘I mean … I believed him. I do, still, believe him.’ He rubbed his hands across his face. ‘It’s just got confused, Al. It’s all confused.’
Allie couldn’t hide her incredulity. This new Christopher… where had he come from?
‘What’s confused?’ she asked, her voice sharpening.
‘Me.’ Christopher looked down. ‘He told me the truth about us … our family. And I thought he could make it all better. Give us what we deserve. But then he did things – really bad things. And now I don’t know what I believe.’
Allie, who knew all about the bad things Nathaniel had done, didn’t know what to make of any of this. Her brother seemed genuine. But for all she knew, this was an elaborate act. Part of some trick Nathaniel had devised.
If there was one thing she’d learned in the last year it was this: everyone lies. Even people you love.
‘Don’t say “us”.’ Her tone was clipped. ‘You didn’t do anything for me. This was all about you.’
He didn’t argue.
‘Fine. I know you’re angry. And I don’t blame you. But you have to understand. That guy … Gabe?’ Christopher searched her face for signs of recognition.
Allie gave a terse nod. Oh yes. She knew Gabe.
‘He’s crazy. And Nathaniel knows it. He’s dangerous as hell, but he keeps him around like he’s some sort of … I don’t know. Human handgun.’ He shook his head. ‘He wasn’t supposed to hurt your friend Ruth at all. Or that other girl … what was her name?’
For a second Allie couldn’t speak. She curled her hands into fists until her nails dug deep crescents into her palms.
‘Jo,’ she said.
‘Yeah.’ It was clear the name meant nothing to Christopher. He didn’t know any of the people Allie loved. ‘Nathaniel was furious about that. But he kept him on.’
Hearing this, Allie wanted to cry. To scream. But she stilled that urge. Because she needed to know more. She kept her voice even.
‘Why?’
He held her gaze. ‘Because he scares you.’
Allie heard herself give a bitter laugh and she tried to stifle it.
‘That’s a bloody bad reason to hang out with a psychopath.’
‘I know. That’s the whole point.’ He raked his fingers through his hair. He looked agonised, and she studied him with new interest. Could he fake this?
‘There’s more. Other things. I think what he wants is right but …’
‘What?’ She couldn’t stop herself. ‘To run the world? To be some sort of mental emperor? You think that’s okey-dokey but killing a few people … now, that’s wrong? Bloody hell, Christopher.’
Her voice dripped sarcasm and he looked at her narrowly.
In that moment he looked so much like their dad, Allie caught her breath. Same pale blue eyes. Same disapproving expression.
‘Come on. You think it’s OK for Lucinda to run the country now but if Nathaniel did it that would be wrong?’ He straightened and took a step forward. ‘Why shouldn’t he run things? Why shouldn’t we? Anyone with the energy and the ideas and the family history …’
She bristled. ‘What does family have to do with it?’ Her voice rose. ‘Are you saying you have to be related to us to have power because –’ she made a rolling gesture with her hand – ‘Sheridans make awesome prime ministers? Or something?’
While they argued they’d moved closer together without Allie noticing. Now she was too angry to care. She had to stand on her toes to be eye level with him – she didn’t remember him being so tall.
‘Meldrums,’ he corrected her, using their grandmother’s last name. Allie thought about the book in the drawer, filled with the names of their forefathers, all of whom had lived lives of wealth and power because of who they were, rather than what they’d done. Or how hard they’d worked.
‘You know what? That’s not even her real name,’ she snapped. ‘That’s her favourite husband’s name. So if you’re looking for a name to hang this whole world-domination thing on you might need to dig a little deeper. Find out who we really are.’
‘All right. All right.’ He held up his hands in surrender. ‘Let’s not fight. Just wait until you hear what I have to say. Then I’ll go, I promise. I can tell you don’t want me here.’
‘Make it fast.’ There was ice in her voice.
He took another step towards her. He was too close now. But Allie didn’t want to show her fear and back away. She forced herself to hold his gaze.
‘You’re planning to go with Lucinda to the parley with Nathaniel,.’ He spoke low and fast. ‘Don’t go. It’s a trap.’
Allie sighed. Had he seriously come
all the way here just to tell her the most obvious thing in the world?
‘Oh for God’s sake. Of course it’s a sodding trap. You think I don’t know that?’
He shook his head. ‘It’s a good trap, Allie. And it’s not for you.’
That stopped her. She stared at him.
‘Who is it for?’
He answered her question with a question. ‘Who is Nathaniel’s biggest problem right now?’
‘Lucinda.’ The word came out as a breath.
His expression told her she was right.
‘So, if it’s Lucinda he’s after, why don’t you want me to go?’ Her voice stayed neutral but internally she was calculating how long it would take her to get to Isabelle’s room and get her to phone Lucinda.
‘Because once she’s gone,’ he said in the same voice he’d once used to help her with her homework, ‘who’s left to protect you?’
His words seemed to hang in the air between them.
What was he saying? That Nathaniel would come after her as soon as Lucinda was gone? And since when did Christopher even care about that? It wasn’t like she hadn’t been hurt already.
The scar on her arm gave a warning throb.
‘I don’t get it,’ she said. ‘You’re warning me about Nathaniel. Telling me you want Lucinda to win. Whose side are you on?’
The question seemed to throw him. He hesitated before replying.
‘I guess I’m on my own side now. Because I can’t be a part of what Nathaniel’s doing any more. But I can’t be with you either, can I? Because you don’t trust me.’
His gaze challenged her.
‘How could I trust you?’ Her throat was suddenly tight. Her voice wavered, just a little. ‘How? You chose his side. He killed people I love. And you were right there with him.’
‘So here we are.’ He seemed to say this mostly to himself. As if some suspicion had been verified.
Then he straightened. ‘What if I told you who the spy was? Would you trust me then?’
Allie froze. He knows?
She fought to keep her expression neutral.