He left his bed at six in the morning without having had a moment’s sleep. All night haunted by dreams, dreams, and more dreams. A quarrel between him and Karima in front of the old man, who didn’t seem to notice him. But if he had dreamed, then he must have fallen asleep. It’s very cold. But you can take it. After all, you’re a hardened criminal. He switched on the light and was shocked to see his right glove still on! He stared at it in horror. He must have gotten rid of the bar and the left glove and forgotten this one. He had gone to the riverbank, strolled around the island, chased after the car, crossed streets, waved to the doorman, and all the time he had his right glove on!
He felt a cold, creeping terror. What happened to all your careful planning? What traces have you left behind? You must check everything, the bedsheets, the blanket, the floor, your shoes, socks, jacket, shirt, handkerchief. He felt physically sick with fear and doubt. The investigating eyes will not miss a thing. He must get rid of the glove. He wrapped it in his towel, grabbed his soap, and went to the bathroom, his small scissors in his pajama pocket. He cut the glove into small pieces and flushed them down the toilet He then washed his face and left the bathroom to return to his room, only to meet Aly Seriakous in the corridor.
“Good morning, Mr. Saber, you’re up early this morning.”
Damn…What are you doing here?…The guest in room thirteen was up earlier than usual, that’s the only thing I noticed, Officer. That’s exactly what the wretch will say. Damn! Damn! This was a bad omen. Did he wipe the floor after having disposed of the glove? Curses! He’s going to the bathroom. He thought he had seen what looked like bloodstains on the sink. He stood rooted to the spot, his eyes glued to the bathroom door. The porter came out of the bathroom.
“Can I do anything for you, sir?”
He ignored him and went straight for the bathroom to look for bloodstains.
“I forgot my soap,” he said apologetically, trying to appear calm as he left the bathroom again. The man smiled.
“You had it in your left hand.”
Catastrophe! Laughing nervously: “That’s the hazard of waking early. I couldn’t sleep, there was a terrible racket outside.” He entered his room still laughing nervously. What a bad start. But no need to exaggerate the dangers. He inspected his clothes carefully while dressing. Looking up at the ceiling, he imagined Khalil lying on his bed. He shuddered. Murders happen every day, he reassured himself. It would be madness to leave now for Alexandria. Have I forgotten anything? Evidence could be found in the strangest places. He thought of taking his jacket to be dry-cleaned. But how would he wrap it? This would certainly draw attention to him. Probably by this afternoon he would be answering questions. The dangers of his situation weighed heavily upon him. He must leave the hotel before they discover the crime. That was more important than the jacket. He took a last look around the room. Will it betray him? Mohamed el-Sawi was performing his morning prayers as Saber walked into the lounge. There were a few people around as he sat down to his breakfast. The porter, Aly Seriakous, walked up to him.
“You forgot this, Mr. Saber.”
His wallet! It must have fallen out of his jacket as he was looking through it. He opened it.
“Thank you very much, Aly,” he said, giving him ten piastres.
“I found it on the floor by your bed.”
How many mistakes were still undiscovered? he wondered. This blind force driving you will soon bare you before the whole world. You will stand naked, just as you were born. Just as your mother delivered you into this world. Your mother, the real killer! Khalil had snored, just as she had done on her last night. He noticed one of the residents smiling at him, as though he were reading his thoughts. The lounge became unbearable. He walked out of the hotel and was greeted by the singing of the beggar. How repulsive he looks. Maybe he’s happy just singing away all day and every day. Sawi, the doorman, going up to the apartment on the roof. Knocking on the bedroom door.
“Mr. Khalil! Wake up! Wake up! Mr. Khalil, it’s almost eight o’clock. Mr. Khalil! Mr. Khalil!” He pushes the door open and looks carefully in. “Mr. Khalil,” quietly. Then: “Oh my God! Mr. Khalil! Master! Master! Help! Help! Aly! Aly! Help! Mr. Khalil has been murdered! Police! Police! Help!”
My mother disappeared, never to be found by my father. My father disappeared, never to be found by me. Maybe I can also disappear. Just vanish without a trace. Then sometime, somewhere, Karima will be in my arms, the promises of a comfortable, happy, secure life finally fulfilled.
He walked, not seeing anyone, not hearing anyone. Just walked, occasionally sitting down at a café for a brief rest. But for him there could be no rest. He passed by the High Court building. Dark clouds were passing overhead. Clouds, reminiscent of Alexandria.
He must see Elham. Toward the late afternoon he headed for the café, their usual meeting place. It looked strange to him today. Everything was strange today. He felt a sudden mad urge to confess everything. The truth! For once!
She looked at him reproachfully. “Why should I greet you if you’ve been avoiding me?” she said, looking at him with her deep blue eyes, pretending to be cross. She sat down, staring at him uncomprehendingly. “And you’re not even talking,” she continued.
“I’m sorry, Elham. I was very busy and completely exhausted.”
“Not even a call on the telephone?”
“Not even. Let’s not discuss this now. Let me just look at you.”
They were silent. Just sitting there looking at each other. The beggar’s chant ringing in his ears. Why did he insist on meeting her? Maybe their meeting was a temporary shelter from the storm that was about to break. She’s smiling even though she shook my bloodied hand! He felt tears creeping into his eyes. The farewell tears.
“You look exhausted.”
“I’ve seen him,” he said quietly, almost in a whisper.
Her eyes widened. “Your brother?”
“Sayed. Sayed el-Reheimy.”
“Then your mission is over?” she cried, overjoyed.
He recounted the story wearily.
“There is a possibility that it’s him,” she said hopefully.
“And also that it isn’t,” he retorted.
“When will all this be over?” she asked pleadingly.
“I consider it finished.”
“You really look tired.”
“I’ve been meeting a lot of people during the past few days.”
“About your brother?”
“Yes.”
They drank their juice in silence. A smile crossed her lips and she asked, “Didn’t you have any time to think of me?”
“All the time.”
“What did you think?”
When are you going to confess? When, when? Save yourself all these lies.
“Say something,” she said, still coyly. “Last time, we spoke of a new job here in Cairo.”
Confess. Confess. That’s all you’re thinking of. Otherwise, you’ll explode.
“Yes, yes,” he said hastily, “I haven’t forgotten.”
“In spite of your worries?”
“I’ve been thinking of the various aspects of the new job.”
He could not resist any longer. “Elham. I love you. I love you with all my heart. I’ve been lying to you all this time.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, bewildered.
“My love for you is what drove me to lie.”
“I don’t understand.” Confusion covered her face.
“I told you I was searching for my brother. Well, the truth is that I’m searching for my father.”
“Your father?”
“Yes, yes. My father.”
“How did he disappear? Perhaps like my father?”
“No. I always believed that he was dead. But my mother, just before dying, told me that he was alive and said that I must find him.”
“Well, that doesn’t change anything,” she said, looking him straight in the eye.
“But I’m broke,?
?? he cried. “I don’t own a thing. My mother was rich, and I always led a comfortable life. But when she died all she left me was her marriage certificate and the photograph as evidence. Other than that, I’m not worth a thing.”
Bewilderment and shock filled her eyes. What if he told her the whole truth about his mother?
“You look worried,” he said quickly.
“No, no. Just surprised,” she replied haltingly.
“I’m not worthy of you, Elham. I’ll never forgive myself for deceiving you.”
“I understand everything. I understand why you lied.”
“What I can’t bear is that I made you love someone not worthy of you.”
“Your love for me, is that a lie?”
“Never. Never. I love you with all my heart.”
She sighed. “It’s your love for me that forced you to tell the truth, isn’t it?”
“Yes, yes. That’s true.”
“Then you’ve done nothing wrong by hiding the truth.”
“But I must leave you.”
“Why?” she cried out, swallowing hard.
“I’m penniless; I have no one; I can’t do anything.”
“Money is not everything. As for having no family, what do we need family for? And besides, there are many things you can try your hand at.”
“I doubt that. I’ve no education, no experience, I never had a job before. You see, there is no hope unless I find my father.”
“And will your father be a substitute for everything else?”
“My mother told me that he was a man of considerable means.”
She paused briefly, then: “But the advertisement…the name…the telephone directory…I mean…”
“Yes, you’re right. I no longer believe that he is a man of position or even that he is in Cairo. But he might be in any one of the other governorates. Not necessarily Cairo.”
“You say you saw him yesterday?”
“I thought so. But I’ve lost faith in everything now.”
“How long are you going to wait?”
“That’s a good question. I can no longer afford searching, or waiting.”
“And so?”
“I don’t know. All the avenues seem to come to a dead end. I must return home and look for any job, or else…or else kill myself.”
“And you say that you love me,” she choked, biting her lips.
“Yes, Elham. I do. With every fiber in my being.”
“And you talk of leaving and suicide?”
“Everything is lost now. I feel like someone slowly being strangled to death.”
“But you love me. And I love you too.”
Pain and hopelessness were all over his face. “But, Elham, I’m far beneath you.”
“You must be patient, Saber,” she pleaded. “I will stand by you.”
“Oh, what’s the use? I was dreaming when I thought I’d find my father. That’s why I allowed you to enter my life. That’s why I fell in love with you.”
“Work. That’s what will solve our problem.”
“But I’ve already told you, there’s nothing I know how to do.”
“Give me a chance to think. You’ll see, everything will turn out the way we want it to.”
And what about the murder? How can things turn out for the better? It’s all over now. How is it that the confession has not brought on the holocaust?
“Things won’t turn out the way we want them to, Elham,” he said quietly.
“Give me a couple of days,” she said determinedly. “Don’t make any decisions. I know what we want.”
Tell her about your mother. Tell her what you did yesterday. Confess that you married another woman, a marriage that was sealed and consummated in blood. Tell her that you want to scream, scream, scream.
Twelve
Here they are. The police and the calamity. Just as you had imagined all day long. The crime has been discovered, and only the criminal remains to be found.
There’s no alternative but to go forward. Control yourself. Forget the look, the last look on Khalil’s face. Forget also the last cry uttered by a dying man, a murdered man. The return to the hotel was a terrifying experience. Just like confessing. Your careful planning, useless. You should have left the hotel long before the crime. Enough of this dithering. The beggar, still singing despite everything. He made his way through the crowd of onlookers. A policeman stopped him.
“What happened? I’m a resident here.” He saw Sawi, his face tear-stained and pale. “What happened, Sawi?”
Sawi burst into tears. “Mr. Khalil has been murdered!”
“Murdered!”
“He was found murdered in his bed. God’s curses on the killer.”
The lobby was crowded with policemen and detectives. In Khalil’s chair sat the senior officer, and on his right, in Karima’s chair, was another man. The senior officer was busy looking through some papers. One of the guests was sitting opposite the officer. The officer reminded him very much of his father. He felt suddenly weak at the thought but then noticed that the officer was a much younger man. How silly, he thought; everyone seems to look like my father. Should he wait or go straight to his room? He was just about to go upstairs when the man sitting in Karima’s chair said, “Please wait in the lounge.”
He walked into the lounge and sat with a group of hotel guests. “What happened?” he asked.
“Mr. Khalil was found murdered.”
“How?”
“Who knows? The police have asked us all to stay here for the investigation. They’ve searched everywhere.”
He heard subdued, choking sobs. There in the opposite corner of the lounge sat Karima. She was sitting between an old woman and an elderly-looking man. How could he have not noticed her when he entered? What should he do? After some hesitation he went over to her. “My profoundest sympathies, madame. You must be strong.”
She didn’t look up, but continued to sob. He went back to his corner, shaking his head as though in shock at the crime. Was it a mistake, what he just did? Could this old woman be the mother of the Alexandria sweetheart? What are the police thinking? Did they inquire about the resident in room thirteen? Was he already the subject of investigation? Do they understand criminals, as he understands loose women? He hated them all. Hated them to the point of killing!
“What now?” he asked the group.
“You’ve only been here a few minutes. We’ve been here since morning.”
“Have they questioned the other guests?”
“Yes, and they let them go. Our turn has not come yet. They also questioned the wife, her mother, and her uncle.”
“But I believe she wasn’t here.”
That was rash! The guest continued: “That makes no difference. This place is full of surprises. They found a large amount of hashish in room six, and they arrested the man living there. Also, in room three they discovered a professional thief.”
“Ah. Maybe.”
“Yes, that’s quite possible. It all depends on the motive.”
“No doubt it was theft.”
Again rash. You’d better be careful. Did they find any evidence? he wondered. He wanted to be with Karima, if only for a moment. Don’t look in her direction. She must have some important information for him. It’s not as you imagine. Damn that beggar and his incessant chant. I visit my mother at this time every month.
Money and jewelry are missing. Aly Seriakous closed the windows in front of me. I locked up myself. No. I don’t think he has enemies.
Why does this man remind him of his father? A guest interrupted his thoughts. “We are innocent, and yet we’re nervous and on edge. What must the guilty feel?”
Said another, “What’s worse, that one false slip or a wrong expression can start endless troubles.”
“But never was an innocent hanged.”
“Hah!”
But the guilty may escape. Your mother and the man who escaped to Libya. You were mad to return to the hotel. There must have been
some other way. Your need for your father becomes more urgent with the growing danger.
The guests were called one by one. His turn came. He sat before the investigator, hating him immensely. He must defeat him at all costs. The man looked at Saber’s identity card.
“You’ve been here for over a month, as the hotel register shows.”
No, he doesn’t resemble his father. “I got up as usual, got dressed, and came down to have my breakfast.”
“Not exactly as usual. You woke up early.”
“I don’t wake up at a set hour.”
“The porter said that on this particular morning you were up earlier than usual.”
“Probably he didn’t see me on other occasions.”
“Did you hear anything unusual at night?”
“No. I slept soundly the moment I got back to my room.”
“Did you notice anything unusual when you woke up?”
“No.”
“When did you see the porter, Aly Seriakous?”
“On my way out of the bathroom.”
“Did he seem somewhat different to you?”
“No. He looked just as he does every day.”
“And you? Tell me, is there anything about yourself that you haven’t told me?”
“No.”
“Didn’t you forget your wallet?”
“Yes, yes. I did. Aly Seriakous brought it to the lounge.”
“What impression did you have then? I mean after getting the wallet?”
“Naturally, I was pleased.”
“What else?”
“That’s all.”
“Weren’t you surprised at his honesty?”
“Maybe. I don’t remember. It probably didn’t occur to me.”
“But it’s natural that it should occur to you.”
“Perhaps I was slightly surprised.”
“Slightly?”
“I mean, I wasn’t astounded or anything like that.”
“How honest do you think he is?”
“I never noticed anything about him that would suggest dishonesty.”
“Where did you go from the time you left until your return?”
“Walking about, here and there.”
“No job, of course. That’s clearly stated on your identity card. But also no friends?”
“I have no one here in Cairo.”