In one smooth motion he scooped her up and whispered against her temple, “And I need you. Now. This minute.” He kicked open the door and carried her outside and down the porch.
“Donovan.” She looked around in alarm. “Where are you taking me?”
His smile was quick and dangerous. “To the rose arbor. If we’re noisy, it’s far enough away from the house that we won’t wake the kids.”
“Noisy?”
He turned his head, capturing her mouth with his, and heard her whimper. The sound of it sent his heart into overdrive.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m so revved I’m apt to howl at the moon.”
That had her chuckling, until he set her on her feet and covered her mouth in a kiss so hot, so hungry, it stole the very breath from her lungs. Her laughter was gone, replaced by a long, deep sigh.
His arms came around her, holding her to the length of him, alerting her to the fact that he was fully aroused.
“I’ve been like a crazy man, Andi. Watching you all evening. Wanting you. Wanting to touch you. Like this.” He ran his fingers up her sides until they encountered the bare flesh at her midriff. He felt her quivering response the moment he made contact.
“It was the same for me.” She dug her fingers into his hair and poured herself into the kiss. “I couldn’t wait to get my hands on you.”
He moved his hands upward to the soft swell of her breasts, where his thumbs teased and stroked. “I’d pretty much convinced myself that I’d be doing you a favor to keep my distance.”
With each stroke of his thumbs she felt her breath catch in her throat. Her words tumbled out between pursed lips. “I felt the same way, until I realized these past three days just how empty my life had become with you away.”
“My entire life has been empty—” the look he sent her was smoldering “—until this moment.” He feasted on her lips, filling himself with the taste of her. He heard her little moan of pleasure as he ran hot, wet kisses down the smooth column of her throat.
She smelled soap-and-water clean. As fresh as springtime. And as sexy as sin. He wanted to devour her in a single bite. Instead, he forced himself to go slowly, to savor every moment.
He kept his eyes steady on hers as he unbuttoned her blouse and fiddled with the tie at her midriff. He slid it from her shoulders to reveal a bit of lace that barely covered her breasts. Skimming a finger between the darkened cleft he parted the bra before tossing it aside.
“I’ve waited so long to see you like this.” He brushed soft butterfly kisses across her shoulder, then lower, to the swell of her breast. “So long.”
The feel of his lips against her skin had the blood roaring in her temples. She thought her legs would surely fail her. She brought her arms around his waist and clung to him as her bones began to melt like hot wax. Her whole body was trembling, vibrating with need.
“Hold on to me, Andi.” He whispered the words against her throat as he began to take her in like a man starved for the taste of her.
She did as he asked, helpless to do more than cling while his mouth, that warm, clever mouth, drove her slowly mad. Her heart was thundering. A wild, primitive beat that pulsed through her veins and fluttered at her throat like a caged bird.
At last he lifted his head, giving her a moment to settle.
Frantic to touch him as he was touching her, she tore at his shirt, tugging it over his head. When she reached for the snaps at his waist, he helped her, kicking aside the rest of his clothes with a hiss of frustration.
He had the most amazing body. Her throat went dry at the sight of all those hard, corded muscles.
“I love it when you touch me, Andi. Touch me again.” His words were a fierce whisper.
She did as he asked, pleasuring them both by running her hands over him with a boldness she never would have believed possible.
“I need to see you. All of you.” He reached a hand to the waist of her gauzy shorts and tugged them free in one smooth motion. Her lacy briefs weren’t treated with the same care as he tore them aside in his haste, before dragging her roughly against him, flesh to flesh.
His kisses weren’t tender. His touches weren’t gentle. He was fully, completely engaged, and would allow no less of her. It occurred to Andi that he made love the same way he’d always lived his life. On the wild side. Dark and dangerous. Raw and primitive. And so exciting she could feel herself almost exploding with the most amazing feelings.
The air around them seemed to become hot and thick, until every breath was labored. He drew her down to the cool grass, but it offered no comfort from the heat that seared her flesh and clogged her lungs. She watched him through a mist of passion as he moved over her, taking her higher than she’d ever been. He reminded her of a fierce jungle creature, all muscle and sinew, his beautiful body glistening in the moonlight.
Her sighs bordered on sobs as he nibbled his way down her body, taking her on a wild, dizzying ride before bringing her to the first shocking crest.
He heard her gasp at the same moment that he felt her body shudder. Stunned, she clutched him and sobbed out his name.
“Donovan. Donovan.” She whispered his name like a prayer.
“Oh, Andi. I’ve dreamed of seeing you like this. Dreamed of this. Only this.”
She’d thought he would take her now, and end this madness that held them both in its grip. But he wanted more. So much more. And so he gave her no time to recover before taking her even higher, until they were both feeling dazed and more than a little breathless.
From somewhere nearby a night bird called, and from the woods its mate answered. A high, clear note hung in the air before fading. The man and woman locked in each other’s arms were oblivious. A soft summer breeze rippled the leaves of the trees and brought with it the fragrance of roses. In the brush nearby an animal scurried for cover as Andi and Donovan lay in the grass, their bodies slick with sweat, their breathing labored.
The world had narrowed to this place and this moment, as they lost themselves in the wonder of each other and the all-consuming desire that drove them. Even the moon and stars seemed to have dimmed, to give them the privacy they craved.
Each time he thought he would surely have to take her, he found a newer, sharper hunger that demanded to be fed. And so he gave and took and gave, feeling the crest of desire grow and grow until it threatened to explode.
Blind with need, his lungs burning with every breath, he drove himself into her almost savagely and heard her gasp.
Though he was half-mad with desire, he went very still. “I’m sorry, Andi. I didn’t want to hurt…”
“Shh.” She wrapped herself around him, all hot flesh and avid, eager mouth. Her fingers dug into his back, her nails scraping as she began to move with him, climb with him.
He couldn’t stop now if he tried. His breathing was so labored he feared his lungs would surely burst. All he could see as he looked down at her were warm honey eyes locked on his. In those eyes he saw his own reflection. All he could hear was her soft breathy voice whispering his name.
For a moment he trembled on the very brink, hoping to draw out the moment of mating. Then he was moving with her, climbing, unable to stop the roller-coaster ride that had their hearts pumping, their blood rushing through their veins. Together they reached the crest and shattered into millions of tiny pieces before drifting slowly back to earth.
Andi’s eyes fluttered open and she found Donovan staring down at her.
“Sorry.” He touched a hand to her cheek. “I didn’t mean to be so rough.”
“I’m fine.” She could see the look of doubt in his eyes and closed a hand over his. “Really.”
“Yes, you are.” He leaned down to brush a kiss over her lips. “You’re better than fine. You’re absolutely incredible.”
“You’re pretty incredible yourself. That was—” she shook her head from side to side, as though unable to believe what they’d just shared “—amazing.”
“Am I too heavy?”
S
he shook her head.
“I have to be. I’m pressing you into the ground.” He rolled to one side, drawing her into the circle of his arms. “Are you cold?”
“After that?” She managed a laugh. “I may never cool off.”
“Sorry about the grass.” He glanced over at their clothes, strewn around them like discarded rags. “I guess I should have thought about bringing a blanket. But one touch of you and I lost my mind.”
“Do you do that often?”
He seemed fascinated with the dark hair that framed her face. He twirled a strand around and around his finger while staring into those big liquid eyes. “As a matter of fact, I pride myself on having a reputation for being cool under fire. But this was a new experience. Like being dropped from a plane onto a bleak glacier one minute, only to find myself on a lush island paradise with the most beautiful forbidden creature on the planet.” He drew her close and covered her lips with his, lingering over her mouth until they were both sighing.
When they finally came up for air, he ran a finger down the length of her throat to her breast. “Are you in a hurry to go inside?”
“Not especially. Why do you ask?”
He lowered his head, circling his tongue around one breast, then the other, until she moaned with pleasure. Against her warm flesh he murmured, “I can’t let you go yet. I want you again, Andi. Here. Now.”
She tried to hide her stunned reaction. “Can we? Again?”
His smile was potently male. “I can if you can.”
Returning his smile, she arched herself toward him, needing the press of his body on hers. “Why, Donovan Lassiter, you’re just full of surprises.”
“You want surprises?” He chuckled, sending a series of tremors along her spine. “I haven’t even begun yet, Ms. Brady.”
They rolled together in the cool, damp grass, laughing like carefree children.
Chapter 11
Andi sat up in the dark. It took her a moment to get her bearings. Sometime in the night they had left the fragrant allure of the rose arbor for the shelter of the house, where they’d made it as far as the sofa before falling once more into each other’s arms.
Donovan had proven to be the most amazing lover. In his arms she was able to forget the past. The pain. The turmoil.
In the three days that he was away she’d gone through so many changes. At first she’d experienced a sense of relief. For the first time since coming here, she had time to breathe, to think things through without the emotional roller coaster she was on each time she looked at him. But as the days wore on, she’d begun to worry that something terrible had happened to him. That was when she’d accepted the fact that, despite all the arguments to the contrary, she wanted him in her life. Though it shamed her to admit it, even to herself, this strange, dark loner had completely taken over her life and the lives of her children.
They ought to be all wrong for each other. He was moody, careless and far too wild. She was sane and sensible and, until this past year, the epitome of a suburban soccer mom. But there was no denying that when he’d left, she and her children had been under a dark cloud. And now that he was back, she felt unbelievably, gloriously happy.
She glanced at the shadowy figure standing by the window, naked to the waist, wearing only the pants he’d hastily pulled on.
It occurred to her that the night suited him. Dark. Brooding. Secretive. “Donovan? Is something wrong?”
His head came up sharply. He glanced over his shoulder. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you, Andi. Go back to sleep.”
Instead of doing as he asked, she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her lips to his back. “This night has been wonderful.”
“For me, too.” He closed his hands over hers and continued to stare out into the darkness, unable to shake the feeling that he was being watched. It irritated him that even here in this sleepy little countryside, his demons continued to intrude. “I was standing here thinking about all the twists and turns my life has taken.”
“Regrets?” She held her breath, waiting for his reply.
“Plenty. I don’t think it’s possible to live without making mistakes.” He gave a mirthless laugh. “I’ve made more than most. But we don’t get the chance to do things over. We just have to learn from past mistakes and move on.”
“And are you—” she swallowed, wondering if her heart would ever resume beating “—ready to move on now?”
Something in her tone alerted him to her fear. He turned and drew her into the circle of his arms. “I wish I could tell you. I just don’t have any answers. And that’s not like me. I feel like I’m at some sort of crossroads in my life.”
She lifted her head, trying to see his eyes in the darkness. “I don’t understand.”
He pressed his mouth to a tangle of hair at her temple. “I’m not sure I do, either. My whole life seems to have been defined by my father’s death. In that moment, everything changed.”
“Were you angry and defiant, like Cory?”
He sighed. “Every time I look at him, I see myself. I stopped being comfortable with the familiar things in my life and did everything I could to make myself and everyone around me uncomfortable. I took crazy risks. I hurt the people who loved me.” His voice lowered. “When I first met Cory, I recognized those same things in him. But I don’t know how to help him, because I don’t even know how to help myself.”
“You’ve helped him just by being here. By listening to him and understanding. As for you, Donovan, you seem fine to me.”
He framed her face with his hands. “That’s because you don’t really know me. If you did, you’d send me packing right this minute.”
“I’d never do that.” She pressed her lips to his throat and ran a trail of soft, butterfly kisses to his shoulder. “I know you don’t like to be tied down. But don’t leave me just yet, Donovan.” She stood on tiptoe and found his mouth with hers. “Please don’t go.”
He groaned and took the kiss deeper. Against her lips he muttered, “I couldn’t if I wanted to. I think you’re some kind of witch. Ever since I met you, I’ve been under the most amazing spell.”
“If this is a spell, it’s been cast over both of us.” She opened herself to him, pouring all her heart and soul into the kiss.
“You make me weak, Andi. So weak.” On a sigh he lifted her and carried her to the sofa.
Then there were no more words as they once again lost themselves in each other.
It wasn’t yet morning, and the two lovers had spent hours in each other’s arms.
Andi ran a hand along the raised scar that ran from Donovan’s shoulder to his waist and felt him flinch. Against his lips she whispered, “I’ve been meaning to ask you what this is.”
“Just an old wound.”
“Where did it happen?”
He stretched out his long legs and tucked his hands behind his head. “A place with no name.”
She couldn’t help smiling. He was so secretive. She curled up against him. “What were you doing in this place with no name?”
“Infiltrating a band of international terrorists.”
Her smile faded. Whenever he talked about his past, it was so matter-of-fact. As though everyone had lived that sort of soldier-of-fortune lifestyle. “Why would you do such a thing?”
“It was my assignment. I never questioned where I was being sent. That time I almost got away with the charade, but I was found out.”
“What did they do to you when they found out you weren’t one of them?”
“They tortured and killed me.”
She shot him a puzzled frown. “You mean they tried to.”
“I mean they believe to this day that they did.” His tone was patient. “You don’t want to know the details. But when they were finished with me, one of their comrades examined me and declared me dead. They dumped my body in the desert. And if they hadn’t left me alone in the middle of a sand dune, I’d have never been able to make my way back to saf
ety.”
“Did you deliberately play dead?”
He gave a rumble of unexpected laughter. “Sweetheart, that wasn’t playacting. I was more dead than alive. And very, very lucky.”
“You call that lucky?”
“I consider myself fortunate that they think they killed me. Otherwise they certainly wouldn’t have stopped until they’d finished the job.”
She was shaking her head in disbelief. “Why would anyone want to do the things you’ve done?”
“I ask myself that sometimes, in the dark of the night.”
“Do you ever give yourself an answer?”
He grinned. “Not yet. But maybe one day it’ll come to me.”
He swung his legs over the edge of the sofa and began to dress in the predawn darkness.
She sat up with a look of alarm. “What are you doing?”
“Leaving. I think it’s best if I’m gone before the kids wake up.” He turned and gathered her close to press a kiss to her mouth. Just a kiss. But she felt the tremors all through her body.
As he released her she couldn’t help shivering. He’d made her no promises. She’d asked for none. But she couldn’t ignore the fear that ripped through her.
She watched him walk across the room. Each step away tore at her heart. She couldn’t keep from calling out, “Donovan?”
He paused.
“Are you…sorry about last night?”
“Sorry? Is that what you think?” He turned and strode across the room before dropping to his knees beside the sofa. Without warning he gathered her into his arms and kissed her with a fierceness that had them both gasping.
When he could finally find the strength to release her, he held her a little away. “Never think such a thing, Andi. You’re the best thing that has ever happened in my life. But I’m not about to forget that you have two little kids who are scared and confused and in pain. I think I need to tread very carefully here, so I don’t add to their pain.” He touched a hand to her cheek and felt another quick rush of heat. “Or to yours.”
Before she could say a word he got to his feet and walked resolutely out of the room. Once outside he drew in a deep draught of air.