She seemed to absorb his answer, her mind clicking to sort through the information like a good little statistician. He'd always had a weakness for math nerds, especially ones laying naked and satisfied in his arms. "Is it wrong that I'm glad there's no one else?"
"No, it's honest. But you did walk away. I wanted more. You didn't."
She lifted her head and met his gaze. Those inky eyes pulled him deep, trapping him with the strength of her emotion. "I made a mistake," she said simply. "I thought it was for the best. I was wrong."
His muscles tightened. He grabbed the back of her head, fisting his fingers in her hair, and yanked back. Her lips parted, damp and red and inviting. Like the poison apple? Or the fruit that could nourish his body and soul?
"Tell me why," he demanded.
"After my divorce, I felt as if I was trapped in my old life. Baltimore was full of memories of my ex and who I'd become, and I wanted a fresh start. That night at Blasphemy, I promised I'd allow myself to let go and give myself one perfect memory before I moved away. I wasn't looking for a deep connection, or a relationship, or anything that would deter me from something I needed to do. Wearing a mask allowed me to surrender."
He nodded. God knows, he understood needing something for yourself. "Did you feel like you never had that opportunity because of your marriage?"
"Yes. I married young, and I fell into a routine that I never questioned. I worked in a small office from nine to five and went home to cook dinner. I drank one glass of wine per night for good heart health but not two because it made me tipsy. Peter and I would spend a quiet evening together, or go out with a few couples from his job. Then we'd have missionary sex every Friday night. Maybe take the occasional vacation, snapping selfies to post on Facebook so everyone knew I was happy." Her voice caught, but she shook her head and continued. "I was dying inside. Trapped in a life that on the surface seemed perfect, but always craving more. After I left him, I began therapy and finding myself again. But that night, when I met you, I was terrified of not leaving. I had a new job lined up in Vegas, with an apartment and a blank canvas I got to fill. If I said yes, I may have stayed in Baltimore. If I said yes to you, I felt like I was saying no to me."
Her words tore through him. Naked vulnerability carved out the lines of her beautiful face, but she confronted him with her chin held high and determination glittering in her eyes.
"What's changed now, Scarlett? It's only four months later. What's different from the last time?"
She dragged in a breath. "I realize I am strong enough to enter into a relationship without losing myself. That I'm a beautiful woman, that my needs aren't abnormal. You accepted me, as is. You embraced my sexuality, nurtured it. Since I left, I can't stop thinking about you. Dreaming about you. And now that you're here, I want to give us a chance for more. I need you, Leo, so much."
He groaned and stamped his mouth over hers.
Her honeyed sweetness filled him up as his tongue stroked and pleasured the wet cave of her mouth. He breathed in the clean, sharp scent of citrus, holding her tight as he plundered her mouth, desperate for everything. She kissed him back, looping her arms around his neck, giving it all back to him.
He pulled away and tipped her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze. Frustration curled the edges of his voice. "You like the way I make you feel. I don't necessarily think it has to do with me specifically. You haven't been with any other Doms, little one. How do you know it's not the experience of surrender you're craving and not me?"
"Because it isn't." Stubbornness radiated from her form. "There's a connection between us. Bigger than just the sex or the BDSM. It's in your very touch, and your eyes when you look at me, and the way you can be cruel yet so tender my very soul stirs. No other man has ever given me that."
She was killing him. He fisted his hands, torn between his need to believe her and the raging doubt that told him she was still too inexperienced. But he couldn't walk away either. For now, he intended to spend the night learning everything he could in order to imprint himself on not only her body, but her mind.
"I want to know more of you. Beyond my chains and dominance." He pressed his palm over her naked breast, against her beating heart. "Open up to me tonight and give us a chance to take this out of the bedroom. If that's what you truly want."
"It is." He kissed her long and deep, sealing her promise. When he lifted his head, she was smiling up at him, her dark eyes joyous and lit with mischief. "What do you want to know?"
He grinned back. "Right now? Tell me--what you want to eat. I'm starving."
Her laugh charmed him. "French fries. With mustard and ketchup."
He wrinkled his nose. "Ugh, that makes no sense. You need to choose."
"Why? I want it all."
He tapped the bridge of her nose. "Then you shall have it." He cocked his head in sudden deliberation. "Fries or onion rings?"
"Fries."
"Coffee or tea?"
She rolled her eyes. "Coffee. Duh."
"Thank God. I could never trust a tea person. Dogs or cats?"
"Dogs."
"Another good answer. Morning or night person?"
"I'm practically a vampire," she said.
His gaze dropped to the vulnerable curve of her neck. "Hot vampire fantasies?"
"Maybe."
The flicker of interest in her eyes told him definitely. Damned if it wouldn't be fun to bite and ravish her. "I think we'll get along just fine," he drawled, pleased her skin was flushed just from his voice. He loved the way she responded to him--making him feel like a fucking superhero.
Leo called in the order to room service and shrugged on his pants. She devoured him with her gaze, sitting cross legged on the bed. "Okay, now it's my turn," she declared. "You said you worked in security. Do you work in a casino?"
"Yes, but I'm not a security guard. I bust the people who try to cheat the casinos."
Her eyes grew wide. "Like in the mobster movies?"
"Less exciting. I don't send anyone out to break their knee caps." She looked so disappointed he chuckled. "I'm also a math nerd. Grew up being able to do complicated math in my head, and when I was in my twenties, I made a bundle counting cards. Until I got busted."
"Did anyone break your kneecaps?"
He arched a brow. "I had no idea you were so bloodthirsty. It's turning me on." He enjoyed her giggle and continued. "No, they were so impressed they hired me in Atlantic City. My cousins worked there for years--they're all poker dealers. But after a while I got itchy and joined the Navy. When I got home, I found my cousins had moved out to Vegas and hooked me up with a job. I missed them, and felt ready to settle back down so I drove out here."
"How many cousins do you have?"
"Four. Rick, Rome, Rafe, and Rem."
She blinked. "You gotta be kidding me."
Leo grinned. "Nope, they get tortured all the time. Aunt Alice named them each after a leading man she had a crush on."
Scarlett propped her elbows on her knees and leaned forward. "Oh, this I have to know."
He ticked them off his fingers one by one. "Rick Springfield. Roman from the soap opera, Days of Our Lives. Rafael Nadal, the famous tennis player. And Remington Steele--the TV show where the main guy was played by Pierce Brosnan."
Her mouth dropped open. "Damn, I wish I could meet their mother. She's cool."
He joined her back on the bed. "Aunt Alice is very cool."
"Is she your aunt on your mom or dad's side?"
"My mother, but I lost her a few years ago. Cancer."
She reached out and grabbed his hand. The simple gesture of warmth and comfort touched him. "I'm so sorry."
He smiled at her. "It's okay, little one. I came to terms with it. My father and I were never close, so that's another reason I wanted to move to Vegas. I missed being with family."
"I'd love to meet your cousins one day." She ducked her head with a touch of shyness. "I don't have any other siblings either. I'm close to my parents but they'
re in New York so I don't see them as much. I always wanted to be part of a big family."
"You want kids one day?"
Her smile lit up her face. "Oh, yes. At least four. Peter wanted to wait, but now I'm glad we did. It's heartbreaking to begin a family with the wrong person."
"Yes, it is."
Their gazes met and locked. The air between them shimmered with the usual energy, and he raised her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles. Why did it feel so natural between them? As if they'd known each other much longer than two brief nights?
But could he really trust what they had? What if her feelings were mixed up with the natural high of submitting to an experienced Dominant? He prided himself on sensing what a woman needed from him. Leo needed that punch of satisfaction and power of being that type of Dominant. He knew Scarlett meant more to him than just a physical encounter. But how could she really trust her instincts without allowing herself to broaden her experiences?
The discreet knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. "I'll be right back." He dropped her hand and turned, trying to ignore his churning gut and the inner voice that told him he might have to leave her in order to truly know if she was meant to belong to him.
Chapter Ten
SOMETHING WAS WRONG.
They'd eaten fries, split a hamburger, and argued over the proper condiments to put on all food. He'd regaled her with stories about growing up with his cousins, even admitting Rafe still held the scar from their brilliant game of chucking rocks at each other in a deadly, updated game of hide and go seek.
Boys.
She relished every grin and hungry gaze. Reveled in the occasional touches as he ate, and the sizzling heat that crackled between them like a live wire. But Scarlett noticed a slight frown to his brow, as if a specific thought was bothering him. She was determined to put him at ease. She'd already made her decision.
This would not be her last night with Leonardo Sinclair.
She wanted more. Wanted dinner and dating. Wanted to meet his cousins. Wanted to spend endless nights in his arms, learning about the beautiful world of BDSM. Wanted him as her Dominant, for herself.
Why wasn't she afraid any longer? Now that she was unmasked, with her heart open, there was no longer any fear or doubts. For the first time, she felt truly free to be her true self with him.
It was an incredible gift she intended to treasure.
She watched him get up from the table and prowl across the room. He reminded her of a graceful predator, all hard muscles and lean strength, from his abs to his pecs to that glorious ass. He stared out the window, jaw clenched with tension.
"What's the matter, Leo?" she asked softly. "Did I do something?"
"No. Not you. Me." She tilted her head, listening, and he went on. "I don't think you're ready for a commitment right now."
Her heart sped up. Her belly tumbled with nerves. "But I explained how I feel. Is it because you can't forgive me for leaving you?"
He turned to face her, shaking his head. "No, little one. I completely understand why you left. I have a responsibility to protect you and look out for your interests. It's part of what I love about being a dominant. And though we've shared something extraordinary, I think you need to experiment more before you can make the right decision about us."
She got up from the chair, pulling the edges of his shirt around her. "I already know what I want. You. Us. This. I have no need to play with anyone else."
Arrogance shimmered from his aura, along with a set determination that squeezed her heart. "I disagree. I'd be doing both of us a disservice if I didn't push you to explore this lifestyle and everything it can give you. As you said, you're just spreading your wings. You need to be sure."
"I am sure."
"I'm sorry. Chains is a good club. I can introduce you to some dominants who may be a good match to play with."
Anger mixed with desperation, bubbled up from inside and spilled out. "You can't make all the rules between us," she shot back hotly. "I can make my own decisions, Leo, and I choose you."
His lips tightened, and those dark eyes flashed with warning. "I will make the decisions I feel are right for you. Do you think this is easy on me? But it's the only way to see if this is real."
"No, it's not." Desperate to make him see, she gave in to her instincts and stripped off her shirt. His gaze focused on her nipples, already hard and needy. The fabric fell to the floor, and she stood proudly in front of him, owning her beauty and power and sexuality in a way she'd never done before. "Because I already know how I feel about you, and it's not temporary. It's not going away under the lash of another dominant's whip." She dropped to her knees, keeping her head up so he could see every expression on her face. "I ache for you, Leo, for what only you can give me."
And then she began to crawl toward him.
He sucked in his breath. His gaze devoured her whole, eyes lit with a fierce lust and need that burned her alive. The cool marble tiles were hard on her knees as she crawled across the room, stopping at his feet. His face was a tortured mask of emotions as he stared down at her.
"Scarlett?"
"Let me serve you. Let me show you what you mean to me."
His groan ripped through the air. She raised her palms upward in supplication, waiting for his command.
Heart-stopping seconds passed as he seemed to struggle with his inner demons. Then with a vicious curse, he ripped down his pants and exposed his erection, the tip already dripping with pre-cum.
"Suck me," he commanded.
She opened her mouth and took him deep.
Blow jobs had never been a highlight for her, but the moment she caught his musky taste, ran her tongue over the silky iron hardness of his dick, she was lost. She attacked him with more fervor than finesse, relishing every grunt and groan that escaped his lips. His fingers twisted in her hair and guided her head, forcing her to open her throat deep to take his full length, and she hummed with pleasure, feeling used and cherished and powerful.
He fucked her mouth and she took it all, her own arousal dripping down her thighs, her fingers working his balls as she squeezed and rubbed and sucked harder and harder.
And then he was coming, and he was yelling her name and she took it all, desperate to please him and own him like he did her.
He dragged her up, lifted her into his arms, and brought her back to the bed. She writhed and begged and pleaded under the wicked lash of his tongue, the bite of his teeth, and the hot touch of his skin. He took his time, worshipping every inch of her body, and then he donned the condom and pushed inside her.
He fucked her slow, forcing her to meet his gaze the entire time, drinking in every cry and gasp from her lips, every shudder from her body. And when she came, he watched her with animal satisfaction, owning her orgasm the way he owned everything else.
When they collapsed into each other's arms, Scarlett slept with a smile resting on her lips.
Until she woke up and he was gone.
***
"Wait a minute. You dissed her? The woman you've been moping over for the past few months? The woman you've been desperate to find again?"
Leo scowled at Rem over his coffee. The noisy sounds of chatter and plates crashing at the popular breakfast buffet distracted him from his sudden desire to rip into his cousin. "I didn't diss her. I left a note."
Rem whistled and sat back in the booth. "Dude, you fucked up."
He let out an irritated breath and tamped down on the sudden uneasiness twisting his gut. "You're not listening to me. I'm doing what's best for her. She needs to figure out if her feelings are for me or if they're just the physical high of being dominated."
"I know, you explained that. But she was clear that's not what she wanted. I know sometimes we make decisions on what we think is best for our subs, but she doesn't sound confused to me."
Leo forked up his eggs and regarded his cousin with determination. "I need to know for sure."
Rem nodded. "Okay. But she'll take it as a
complete rejection. A retaliation for her leaving you."
"No, I was clear in my note why I left."
An amused chuckle escaped his cousin's lips. "Have you never been in a serious relationship? Women see things differently. What we think is black and white, females declare bluish, purplish grey. What did the note exactly say?"
"I told her she was special, and the night meant everything to me, but it was important for her to explore more of the BDSM world before she could commit to me in a relationship. I told her I'd set her up with someone at Chains."
"Yeah, I was right."
"About what?"
"You fucked up. Hell, not only did you reject her, you offered to whore her out to a friend."
"No, I didn't!" He dropped the fork and glared. Did he? Had he made a horrible mistake in his quest to do the right thing? "I want her to be safe and be sure because once she's mine, I'm not letting anyone else touch her."
"There. That's what you should've said to her, not like in your jacked-up note."
Ah, fuck. Maybe Rem was right. The idea of hurting Scarlett ripped at his insides. He had to track her down and talk to her. Leo pushed his coffee and plate away. "Do you understand why I'm not ready to trust her feelings for me? Or am I fucked up thinking that way?"
Rem's face reflected a shred of sympathy. "Nah, I get it. I'd feel the same. But first you gotta tell her how much she means to you so she doesn't think you're just pushing her away. Make sense?"
"Yeah. How'd you get so damn sensitive?"
He gave a suffering sigh. "Cara made me see things in a different light. Oh, clear your calendar for next weekend. I'm going to ask her to marry me, and I want all of us to go out and celebrate."
Leo grinned. "That's awesome. Congrats, you deserve it."
"Thanks. It feels good."
"I'm going to find Scarlett and fix this." He threw down his napkin and fished out his wallet.
Rem waved his hand in the air. "I got this. Just tell me one thing."
"Sure."
"Fanta-C worked, didn't it?"
Leo stilled. Frowned. Now that he'd thought of it, how the hell had an agency been able to hook him up with the one woman he couldn't forget, but left behind? A shiver shot down his spine. "Yeah. I guess it did."