When he rose late in the afternoon Anne-Marie was nowhere to be found in the apartment. He poked his head into the kitchen and saw a note on the refrigerator.
Gone for a walk, be back soon. Link me if you need me.
He went back into the other room and grabbed his communer to send her a link. She shouldn’t be out there wandering the streets with Kiril and who knew how many other new converts running loose. He started to rethink his decision to let Kiril go his own way. It might be necessary to monitor him for a bit after all, and find out who was converting and how many new vampires there might be. He wasn’t going to let some rookie jeopardize the lifestyle he’d been crafting for so long. He’d found a way to co-exist with humans, feed off them without killing them, and he wasn’t about to give that up and go back to the way he’d lived after his own conversion. Even for Andrej those were dark days. Those first few weeks were mostly a blur, dim memories he’d tried to bury of savage attacks that had local police hunting for a deranged psychopathic killer.
“Where are you?” he asked when Anne-Marie responded to the link.
“Just down by the Charles Bridge. Did you need me to come back?”
“No, that’s fine. I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.”
He closed the link in the communer and left the apartment. It was a short walk to the bridge, and it was broad daylight so it was unlikely anything could happen before he got there. Anne-Marie was pretty savvy by now, able to recognize a vampire if she saw one. It was one of the first things he had taught her when she had begun working for him. But fighting one off was something else.
He found her on the east end of the bridge, staring down at the water. She didn’t see him come up and she jumped when he touched her arm.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you,” he said, laughing at her.
She blew out a breath. “It’s cool, I’m fine.”
“Listen, I ran into a bit of trouble last night, so you need to be careful when you’re out by yourself.”
“What kind of trouble?” she asked, instantly on her guard. If Andrej thought there was trouble, it wasn’t good. Nothing ever rattled him.
“Another.”
She caught his meaning, but tried to appear nonchalant. “Oh, I see. So you’re worried about me? Is that concern I detect?”
He sighed. “Well, you know how hard it is to find good help these days.”
She threw a punch at his shoulder.
He laughed and put his arm around her. “You hungry? I know a great little café for a late lunch.” They walked off the bridge into Old Town, into the Town Square. He took the opportunity to play the cordial tour guide, showing her the ancient astronomical clock, which miraculously still stood and functioned. When they were seated at the café and Anne-Marie ordered some food, Andrej thought this was as good a time as any to bring up another subject.
“So as I said, there’s a little trouble just now with a new convert.”
She took a bite of her food without saying anything.
“A new vampire is the most dangerous. The newly heightened senses are like a constant high that can leave you reeling, almost mad from the sudden power.”
“Was it like that for you?”
God, if she only knew, he thought. He hesitated before answering, unsure how much she needed to know, and decided to tell her just enough to get the point across.
“I fought hard to gain some self-control, and after the initial rush wore off I realized I could either spend the rest of my days being hunted or take a more discreet approach to this new life. The latter had appeared to be the better option.
“But I’m afraid this new convert is still in that stage of adapting. He’s very new, and there may not be much I can do with him. It could be worth doing some checking, find out where he came from, and see if there’s a way to convince him and those who brought him over to reign themselves in. I’ll make some inquiries, see what I can find out. If I can talk to the source there may be a way to mitigate the situation.”
“What situation? What happened?”
Andrej glanced down for a moment, and said quietly, “He’s killing.”
She froze for a second. “And you think whoever converted him is able to control him?”
“They should be able to, yes.”
“And if you can’t find the source, or they’re not open to suggestion?”
“Then I have a decision to make.”
“Meaning?”
“I can either stand aside and do nothing, and hope for the best, or I can remove them. Both of them.”
She stopped chewing, set her fork down and looked at him.
He picked at her food. “Don’t look so grim.”
She gave him a sour face.
“You know you’re always safe with me, yes?”
“Of course,” she said, more earnestly than she meant to. She looked away towards the square but he had caught the tone of her voice.
“But if I’m not around…” he said, then paused and sat stirring his coffee. He kept watching her, sensing a new problem developing.
“Ok, what happens if you’re not around?” she prompted when he didn’t say anything more.
He leaned onto his arms folded on the table. “There is something I can do for you, to keep you protected. I hesitate to suggest this, in fact I’ve only done it once before, because it creates a lifetime bond between us. I would essentially mark you as my property. All the others would respect that and you would be off-limits. But you would never be able to leave me, understand?”
She looked a little queasy. “Exactly what does it involve?”
“For one thing you have to drink some of my blood.”
Anne-Marie swallowed hard. “I think I’m going to need to think about that for awhile.”
He sat back, nodding. “Of course. It’s not a decision you should make lightly. There’s no going back once it’s done.”
“Do others let their assistants make the choice?”
He shook his head. “I doubt it. In fact most never bother to mark anyone at all. They generally view all mortals as disposable.”
“Am I disposable?” She forgot all about her food and sat back as the waiter arrived to clear her plate away.
Andrej waited until the waiter had gathered everything. After he’d gone again he said, “I think it would be better to continue talking elsewhere. Let’s go for walk.” The sun was lower in the sky, and his eyes didn’t hurt as much to be outdoors. He paid the bill and took Anne-Marie’s arm as they walked out the door.
“Well?” she asked once they were outside.
“No, you’re not disposable,” he said, giving her a look that helped unfreeze the blood in her veins. “If you were I wouldn’t even bother to talk about this with you. I’d either mark you or not.”
“But you did it once?”
He didn't answer right away, but kept his face neutral when he did. “Once. It’s a little too much like playing God for my taste, stealing peoples’ lives.”
“How come you’re the only one of your kind with an ounce of humanity left?”
“I’m old. Maybe some of that humanity I lost when I was converted is creeping back in.” He didn’t feel old, but he thought about that for a minute. Could it be his conscience was returning? He recoiled at the idea. This was something he couldn’t afford to let happen. He couldn’t return her feelings. In life, he might have been fond of Anne-Marie, but he had no such feelings now. He had come to depend on her for many things, and he treated her well. Perhaps she was mistaking that for affection.
“So what would happen to me, if you marked me like that? I mean, would I be a zombie, or what?”
“Why are you always so melodramatic? No, you wouldn’t be a zombie. But if we were apart for too long, you would eventually die. Your desire to be near me would overwhelm you and drive you mad, then kill you.” He said it so bluntly it stopped Anne-Marie in her tracks.
“And you’re calling me melodramatic? Ok, you’re going to need to
be a little more specific about what exactly ‘too long’ is. Are we talking hours? Days? Weeks?”
“A few days, two weeks tops before you’d start losing your mind.”
Anne-Marie gave a little squeak, staring at him in horror.
“See why I ask first? And why I never do that to my assistants? I prefer to have you stay because it’s your choice. Still, there are advantages to it.”
“I realize, but holy shit.” She put her hand on her forehead and closed her eyes as though she was trying to keep her balance. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “You wouldn’t mark me and then later on abandon me somewhere, would you?”
“Of course not,” he said. “I’m hurt that you’d even ask that. Why would you think I would?”
“I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know. This is all getting a little crazy.”
He laughed. “Just now?”
“All right, all right. But I have to ask something.”
“You just did.”
She sighed, exasperated. “Can you please be serious for two minutes together?”
“Go on, what is it?” he said as took her arm and started walking again.
“Are you ever sorry about being converted? Do you ever wish you could undo it all?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering. If I chose to be ‘marked’ I’d need to be totally sure I’m doing the right thing. I’m afraid it’d be like getting a tattoo and then you decide you hate it. I want to know if I’ll regret it. So I guess what I want to know is, if you could change things, go back to being human, would you?”
“I don’t understand how that would help you decide.”
“Well,” she said, “I think knowing whether facing this life, with no outs, the way you do, would be something I could handle.”
He took a breath, unsure what to say. “How can I answer that? What I feel about my life can’t tell you how you’d feel. Only you can say. Besides, you’ve lived with me for two years now, you should have a pretty good idea, no?”
“Yes, but I always knew in the back of my mind if it got to be too much I could leave. What else would change? Would I still have my own mind as long as I was around you?”
“Yes, it’s not total mind control. I guess it’s kind of a trade-off. In exchange for absolute protection, you give up your freedom. Nature always demands a price.”
She gave a little sigh. “Nature. Nothing about this strikes me as very natural.”
As they walked Andrej tried to think of anything to say that might be helpful. Rather than make some vapid philosophical remark, he kept quiet.
Anne-Marie, however, wasn’t giving up. “So how about it? Are you sorry? About any of it? Don’t you ever get lonely?” She watched the ground for a moment as they continued their walk, his arm still around her shoulders.
He was pretty sure what this was leading up to, but this was as good a time as any to get it out in the open and dealt with. “I like being alone most of the time, and when I need company I find it.”
“Not like that. Don’t you ever want to feel love again?”
It was turning out to be the day for frank conversation. At least she’d waited two years to get around to asking. There was no easy answer, so he said the only thing he knew for sure. “All right, I’ll tell you. No, I’m not sorry about what I am, what I became. I’ve lived longer than any man, I’ve seen and done things most men will never experience. I’ve traveled, studied, gone into the blackest places that a mind can go, and had more pleasure than I could have ever imagined. At a price, of course. But, I also don’t have to worry about these things killing me,” he said, holding up his pack of cigarettes.
“Ugh,” Anne-Marie said in disgust, swatting at the pack as he laughed and pulled his hand out of her reach.
“I still have feelings, emotions,” he continued, “I’m not incapable of feeling love for someone. But once you’ve been around this long, it takes an awful lot to ignite those feelings.” He watched her for a minute while he lit a cigarette. He knew what she was thinking, but also that she would have to talk this through or she would forever cling to a vain hope. “What’s going on up here?” he asked, poking her lightly in the forehead.
She didn’t answer; she didn’t have to. He steered her towards the side of the bridge and stopped, leaning with his back against the balustrade. She stood facing him, but looking out to the river. He folded his arms across his chest, waiting for a group of tourists to pass by.
“You have to understand, this is what I am. It’s what I’ve been for a long time. I can’t change it, and honestly I wouldn’t want to.” He studied her face as she looked toward the west and the fading light, not wanting to look him in the eye. He waited a minute before continuing more gently. “I know what you want. You want a home, a family, a normal life. I can’t give you any of that, you know I can’t. You’ll never have that as long as you’re with me.”
She nodded, still not looking at him. “I know, I know.”
“Anne-Marie, look at me,” he said. “If you want to go, you need to say so.”
She cocked her head to the side and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “Why do you have to be so damned nice? Why is the nicest guy I know one of the undead? It’s not fair.”
“So no mark then?” If she still had any dreams of a normal life, he wasn’t going to take it away from her.
Shaking her head, she said, “No, not yet, if it’s all right with you. Unless things change and there’s no choice, I’d rather keep things the way they are. But if it comes down to it, it wouldn’t be so bad, being tied to you that way.”
He took her hand and led her off the bridge. While they walked back to the apartment, neither one said anything of any consequence on the way. Anne-Marie’s head was full of confused emotions, while trying to maintain her outer bravado. Andrej hoped she’d decide to stay with him in this capacity as his assistant, knowing it would never be anything more. He was no knight in shining armor, no matter how well they got along, or how attracted she was to him.
“Sorry, must be that siren song of yours, I thought I was immune by now,” she said when they got back.
“I guess I’m just that good.”
“You’re such an ass.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere.”
Chapter 3