“Don’t let the anxiety win.”
“It’s so hard sometimes.”
“I know, babe. I know.”
* * * *
When they reached the restaurant, there were two men standing outside Dani recognized as Todd and Hunter from pictures Ned had shown her. She resisted the urge to pull a mask into place and treat this like an acting role despite the anxiety threatening to rise in her. They needed to get to know the real her as much as she needed to get to know the real them.
That’s the only way any of this would work.
She noticed that Ned didn’t shy away from letting her hold his arm as he walked her from the car over to where they waited. When they reached them, Ned gave Todd a quick hug, then he hugged Hunter and held it for a moment, whispering something to him.
A flash of jealousy exploded in her and she examined it before discarding it. It was her anxiety talking, and she knew it. She wanted that to be her Ned was interacting with in that way.
It very well could be in a few months. But Hunter was there first.
Todd was a cutie, green eyes and short, red hair, about two inches taller than Ned’s six one. Hunter had deep brown eyes and dark brown hair and was about five inches taller than her five six. When Ned stepped back from Hunter, he let Dani take his arm again.
“Todd, Hunter, this is Danielle Webb. Or Dani.”
“Dani,” she said, offering them a smile. “Mind if we do gentle fist bumps instead of hugs or shaking hands?”
Todd, she was happy to see, apparently grokked her immediately and offered his fist with a smile. “Nice to meet you, Dani. Coop’s told us a lot about you.”
She bumped with him.
Then there was Hunter. Under normal circumstances, she’d definitely be attracted to the cutie. But the wall of wariness he wore like a thick winter cloak felt far too familiar to her.
The irony of this situation did not escape her. While the circumstances were somewhat different than what she’d been through with Clayton, especially since the transparency hadn’t been there with Clayton, she knew she needed to be respectful of what Hunter had with Ned.
He finally offered up a fist. “Nice to meet you,” he said in a voice far more quiet than she’d expected.
She gently tapped fists with him, but noticed the way Ned’s head cocked.
“Dani, Todd, would you mind going on in ahead of us and giving us a minute?”
“Sure,” Dani said, hoping Hunter understood she didn’t want to take Ned from him. “No problem.”
She headed inside, Todd swooping around to get the door for her. They stood inside, not walking up to the hostess station yet.
She watched through the glass doors as Ned put a hand on Hunter’s back, between his shoulders, and walked with him over to the cars, standing in the shade to talk.
“I’m sorry,” Todd said. “It’s nothing personal.”
“I know. I go through it, too. I get it.”
“Hunter’s worried that—”
“That I’m going to take over and take Ned away. I get it. He told me about Bethany.” She looked up at him. “Sorry. I’m just nervous. But I’m not trying to do that. I don’t really think I could, even if that was my goal. We all need to get through the rapids together and talk it out and see where it goes. I’m the odd man out here. It’s Hunter’s anxiety talking.” Her focus returned to the window, to watch the men outside.
When she looked back at him, Todd seemed to be re-evaluating her.
“Dude, believe me, I sooo get it,” she said. “I really like Ned and want this to work out. I’m not going to be Bethany and be a bitch about Ned and his time, either. I know there might even be some pissing contests going on between me and Hunter at first, if this lasts. I promised Ned that I’m going to try to keep talking and adulting and reminding myself when I trigger that it might be my anxiety, and he’s promised to try to work through things with me when I do.”
“Wow,” Todd softly said. “You do get it.”
“Uh, yeah. Because I’ve got it.” Her gaze returned to where Ned was now hugging Hunter. “You have no idea how much I’ve got it.”
* * * *
This was not how Hunter had wanted to start tonight. All the way over, he’d pep-talked himself into not acting like this. To be friendly and warm and welcoming.
To make his Master proud.
He’d not only fallen flat on his face about all of that, he’d made it even worse. The picture Coop had shown them of Dani hadn’t done her justice. She was cute, big brown eyes full of expression, her black hair pulled back into a ponytail that Hunter could envision Coop using to hold her head in place while she blew him.
He couldn’t help it—that’s where his brain first went.
And he felt so ashamed of himself for all of that as he stood there in Coop’s arms in the parking lot with him trying to talk Hunter through it.
“I promise you, boy,” Coop said. “I absolutely promise you that I won’t dump you for anyone. Dani understands you come first, and that you’re here to stay.”
“Yes, Master,” he said.
“You’ve made me so proud in how much progress you’ve had. Don’t feel guilty about triggering over this. I expected you to trigger and knew there wasn’t a way to get through it except to get through it.”
That made him feel even worse. That his Master had a better grasp of his brain than Hunter did.
“I’m sorry, Master.”
“Stop apologizing.” He looked down at Hunter, the sight of Coop’s blue eyes calming him. “You need to sit next to Todd tonight, though, if a corner booth isn’t available.”
“Yes, Master.”
“And I promise you, even if she and I start dating and playing together, it won’t change what you and I and Todd have. I’ve already told her that, too.”
“Everything?”
“Everything.” He smiled. “She knows that sex between you and me and Todd is a likely possibility and she’s okay with that.” His smile faded. “And if you can’t deal with her, then I won’t pursue anything but friendship with her. But you can’t control who my friends are, just like I don’t control who your friends are. I will at least be friends with her, if she’ll let me. So even if you veto anything else, understand that you will likely have to get used to her presence in my life.”
“Yes, Master.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I’m triggering. I want to be able to get through this and say yes.”
“Then let’s take tonight as a trial run.” He released Hunter and stepped back. “Okay?”
“Yes, Master.”
“Good boy.”
He followed Coop into the restaurant. Luckily, they did have a corner booth available, his favorite seat. He sat next to Coop with his foot touching him, comforted by the contact.
As he stumbled his way through the dinner, trying to meet Dani’s gaze and talk to her without staring at his plate, Todd constantly patted him on the thigh from where he sat on Hunter’s other side. After they parted ways, they watched Coop’s SUV pull out as they sat there letting the A/C cool the car.
“I fucked that up miserably,” Hunter said. “She’s going to hate me.”
“It’s just one dinner. Give it time.”
“This isn’t fair to him.” His hands twisted together in his lap. “I can’t just tell him no. I know this is me, not him or her.”
“Just be honest with him that you need more time.”
He took a deep breath. “Okay.”
* * * *
Dani stared out the window as Ned drove her home.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“He’s going to say no,” she quietly said. “Be prepared for that.”
“It’s just one dinner.”
“It’s more than that for him. It’s okay.” She forced a smile she didn’t feel. “At least we can be friends.”
“Will you—” She heard him take a deep breath. “That’s your anxiety talking,” he said, his tone calm
and quiet. Not accusatory, not impatient. “We’ll have a few more dinners together before I ask him for a verdict.”
“Okay.”
He earned mega points for not losing his patience with her. “I know saying not to stress is pointless and an insult, but please try to have faith.”
“I’m a realist. But thank you for trying.”
Once he left her, she headed for the shower and contemplated taking an extra Xanax. As she stood and let the hot water run over her, physical pain throbbed throughout her entire body even as her heart fluttered almost painfully in her chest.
For the first time since moving back to Florida, she cried.
* * * *
Coop texted Todd that he was on his way over before he pulled out of Dani’s apartment complex. Twenty minutes later, Todd opened the door for him as Coop walked up.
“Bedroom,” Todd said.
Coop walked in and found Hunter curled up on his side in bed, crying.
Shit.
He felt horrible the guy had triggered so badly. Kicking off his shoes, he climbed into bed with him and spooned along his back.
“Did Todd give you a Xanax?”
“Yes, Master.”
More guilt for Coop. Hunter had permission not to call him that there at the apartment for fear—no matter how unrealistic—that Hunter’s cousin might overhear.
“I swear,” Coop told him, “even if you say no, nothing changes between us. I won’t be resentful or petty about it.”
Hunter finally rolled to face him. “Yes,” he mumbled against Coop’s shirt.
“Huh?”
“You can see her, Master. However you want to see her. Play or sex or both.”
He made Hunter look up at him. “I cannot in good conscience see her if you—”
“I want you to see her. I know this is me, not you. I know this is my issue to get through. I’ll probably act out and trigger and I need to do that. I know if I do and work through it with you, it’ll be better in the long run. I’ll be stronger.”
“Are you sure?”
He nodded. “I trust you. And I trust Todd. Todd liked her. I can’t trust myself, but I can trust you two. I remember how you threw Bethany out. After a year. I know that I’m important to you.”
He ran his fingers through Hunter’s hair, gently rubbing his scalp. “Such a good boy,” he cooed. “Thank you for trusting me.”
Hunter tucked his head against Coop’s chest again. “Can you stay until I fall asleep, Master?”
“Sure.”
It only took ten minutes, the Xanax this late in the day, on top of the other one he’d had earlier, knocking him out.
Coop carefully untangled himself and got up, grabbing his shoes and carrying them to the living room to put them on.
“Thanks,” Todd said. “I was worried about him.”
“He says he wants me to see her.”
“I know. He told me that, too.”
“But does he mean it?”
“He wants to.”
“I don’t want to do something to make this implode.”
“The only advice I can give you is don’t reschedule stuff for him in favor of her. And let’s try to have dinner together again soon. And can I have her number?”
“Why?”
“So I can text with her. I want to try to talk Hunter into doing that.”
“Again, why?”
“Because it’ll help.”
Coop pulled out his phone and texted Dani. She replied almost immediately that yes, it was okay to give them her number. So he texted it to Todd. “I’ll let you give it to Hunter in the morning.”
“Thanks.” He stared at his phone for a moment. “Promise me something.”
“What?”
Todd’s green gaze pierced Coop’s. “You’ve been amazing the past four years. Please don’t blow my trust in you now. Because Hunter trusts me as a reliable gauge about what’s going on. If you blow this, it won’t just be you he doesn’t trust anymore. It’ll be me, too.”
“I swear.”
Todd nodded.
Coop hugged him. “Thank you. I won’t let either of you down.”
“I have to admit, it would be kind of hot having all four of us together at some point in the future. I wouldn’t mind watching you spank her.”
“Really?”
Todd shrugged. “She’s cute. I’m gay but I’m not blind. Duh.” He scratched at his neck. “Just out of curiosity…are you eventually going to look into having one big puppy pile for all four of us, sexually speaking?”
“I don’t know. It’d depend if you and Hunter and Dani wanted that.”
“Would you want that?”
“It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world,” Coop finally admitted. “But I’m not going to push for that. If everyone eventually decides they’d like that, great. I’ll just be happy for them both to reach the point that they don’t mind me playing with them at the same time.”
“I think Hunter could eventually get to that point when he sees she’s really not a threat to him. I think part of that will be you getting more comfortable with us sexually, though.”
“Yeah, I figured.”
Todd smiled. “I’m not going to lie and say I don’t want to fuck your ass when I do.”
“You gonna buy me dinner first?”
“Oh, I’ma gonna buy you dinner, all right.”
Coop chuckled. “I know. Slow and steady. We’ll get there, I hope.”
* * * *
Todd saw Coop to the door and locked it behind him before heading to bed. Todd had really liked Dani. That she’d handled things as well as she had tonight spoke volumes.
As he stripped and climbed into bed with Hunter, he kissed the back of the man’s neck. Bless his heart, Hunter was trying as best he could. Todd believed Hunter wanted to be okay with all of this. As long as Coop could keep Dani in line, and stick to his word, Todd thought Hunter would eventually be okay with this.
He hoped.
* * * *
Coop called Dani after pulling out of Todd and Hunter’s.
“Hey,” she said.
“Are you okay?” She sounded sniffly.
Like she’d been crying.
“Just recovering from tonight. Why did they want my number?”
“Todd’s going to start texting with you.”
“What about Hunter?”
“He’s asleep now. I’m leaving there. He said yes.”
“Yes?”
“To us dating and playing.”
“Really?”
“But I think he’s pushing himself. So we’ll need more group dinners.”
“O-okay.”
“You thought he’d say no.”
A hard laugh escaped her. “Honestly? I was convinced of it.”
“Ground rules. I won’t cancel plans with Hunter for you, and vice-versa.”
“Understood.”
“I won’t try pushing you two together except socially. But if the two of you could get to a point where you could be comfortable with me playing with both of you at the same time, that would be amazing.”
“Only if I get to watch you with them.”
“I don’t know if Hunter would be comfortable watching me with you like that.”
“That’s fine. I’m okay with it being one-sided.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Duly noted.”
She seemed to let out a heavy sigh. “So where do we go from here?”
“How about I make you dinner Thursday night and we see what happens?”
“That sounds like an open invitation.”
“It was.”
She seemed to be considering it. “Could you clarify that?”
“If you wanted to come over, and let me make you dinner, and maybe we could discuss hard and soft limits, and then whatever you wanted to do after that. And you’re welcomed to spend the night, if you’d like.”
“I’d love an over-the-knee, bar
e-handed spanking, since it’s been over six months since I’ve had one, followed by some mind-melting orgasms. And a good, hard fucking after that.”
Holy hell. Maybe he should have waited for this conversation. Talk about distracted driving.
“I think that sounds like a plan.”
“You don’t see that as topping from the bottom?”
“No, I consider it laying a blueprint for me to follow until I get a feel for the territory.”
She took another deep breath. “I cried in the shower when I got home,” she softly admitted. “I was convinced he’d tell you forget it, and that this call was to tell me that.”
Coop considered his response. “For future reference, normally not telling me the full truth up front would earn you a few paddle strokes. But because we haven’t negotiated that yet, consider that a stern warning.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Fuck. The way she said that had his cock throbbing. “So, to be perfectly clear, you want me to play with you and us to have sex on Thursday.”
“Yes, please.”
“One of the things I’m going to negotiate with you is that you don’t get to masturbate without permission. Which I’ll give you if you text or call me. Not while I’m with Hunter, but you get what I mean.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“I hope we’re not moving too fast here.”
“I want to move fast. Because if he changes his mind, god only knows how long it’ll be until I have a chance to get laid again. No offense.”
He could tell he’d have to get used to this, to her directness. “None taken. And by the way, I am going to use safewords. And I will honor them.”
“You’d better, or I’ll tell Tilly.” He could hear the smile in her voice.
Holy fuck. She was going to keep him on his toes, for sure. “Then I’ll expect you to text me in the morning when you wake up. And every morning when you get up. And at night before bed.”
“I have a request.”
“Sure.”
“Don’t manage me if you think Hunter’s going to change his mind. Don’t hide that from me and drop it on me. Keep me posted every step of the way, good and bad.”