I said, ‘How cud I know that?’
He said, ‘It wer your oan dad it wer Brooder Walker the same. It wer that reveal he done back when Dog Et largent in Littl Salting. Orfing and me we done a special show then your dad come a long Nex Nite he done a connexion and a reveal the woal thing took lessen a minim. I wernt there to hear it but I heard of it. Dyou have that 1 in memberment?’
I said, ‘O yes I member that. “A littl salting and no saver.”’
He said, ‘Thats the 1. “A littl salting and no saver.” Wel you know every now and agen youwl hear some thing it means what ever it means but youwl know theres mor in it as wel. Moren wer knowit by who ever said it. So that reveal stayd in my mynd. You see how it wer up to then I never thot this Legend ben anything moren a picter story about a bloak with a name near the same as Eusa. Nor I dint know nothing of chemistery nor fizzics then I hadnt payd no tension to it. Any how I wer reading over this here Legend like I use to do some times and I come to “the figure of the crucified Saviour”. Number of the crucified Saviour and wunnering how that be come the Littl Shyning Man the Addom. Suddn it jumpt in to my mynd “A littl salting and no saver”. I dint have no idear what crucified myt be nor up to then I hadnt give Saviour much thot I thot it myt mean some 1 as saves only that dint connect with nothing. Id never put it to gether with saver like in savery. Not sweet. Salty. A salt crucified. I gone to the chemistery working I askit 1 Stoan Phist that wer Belnots dad what crucified myt be nor he wernt cern but he thot itwd be some thing you done in a cruciboal. 1st time Id heard the word. Thats a hard firet boal they use it doing a chemistery try out which you cud call that crucifrying or crucifying. Which that crucified Saviour or crucifryd salt thats our Littl Shyning Man him as got pult in 2 by Eusa. So “the figure of the crucified Saviour” is the number of the salt de vydit in 2 parts in the cruciboal and radiating lite coming acrost on it. The salt and the saver. Ice youve got that salt youre on your way to the woal chemistery and fizzics of it. Right up to your las try out which is the brazen bull which is to say your brazing boal and the chard coal. But thats all tecker knowledging realy you wunt hardly unner stan it nor I wont wear you out with it. Youve got to do your take off and your run off and your carry off. Which its wrote in the story its the wife took off by pirates and the wolf run off with 1 littl boy and the lion carrit off the other. The wife is the sof and the sweet you see which is took off by the sharp and the salty. Them pirates and wolfs and lions theyre all assits theyre all sharp and biting its all chemistery in there. Them 2 littl boys theyre what they call “catwl twis” which is what you put in to qwicken on your episodes. Right thru that part of it Eusa hes whats lef after the takings hes having his res and due. Finely after the brazing boal you get your four souls which is your 4 salts gethert. Man and wife and littl childer coming back to gether for the las time thats your new clear family it aint the 1 you startit with its the finement of it in to shyning gethert to the 1 Big 1. Mynd you all this what Im saying its jus theary which I mean we aint done nothing with it yet we cudnt cud we we aint had the parper salts and that. Wel now this here bag of yellerboy myt be the break and thru the barren year with a bang. I know itwl take tryl narrer and spare the mending but may be this time wewl do it.’
I dint say nothing I wer jus sitting there with my head widening in them circels spreading to no where. It wer broad day looking in thru the smoak hoal. Goodparley looking at me suddn then he says, ‘We never did emty your pockits did we whats that bulging in there? Trubba not Iwl jus have a littl look.’ Which he reaches in to my pockit and puls out that blackent hook nose hump back figger.
He looks at it and his eyes get big then nex thing he begins to cry. I dint know what to do I said, ‘What is it?’
He wer snuffling and wiping his eyes he said, ‘O how that takes me back o how it twisses my hart. I tel you theres a working in this it aint jus happening randem theres too many things be twean us.’
I said, ‘Whatre you talking about? Whats that got to do with that figger?’
‘O,’ he said. ‘How them trees swayd in the morning wind that day and the smoak going up from the berning!’ He wer pulling me to him and hugging me and slubbering on my neck. I dint know what to do I pattit his back like you wud with any frend took greavis. Knowing wylst I done it he wernt my frend tho he wantit to be. Some thing else as wel. Dint know how I knowit but I knowit I had the upper of him some how I wer the stronger 1. He myt have me kilt if it come on him to do it yet I had a Power he dint. He knowit and I knowit yet I cudntve said right then what it wer. I dont mean the Power you have when some 1 craves for you I mean some thing else.
He said, ‘Here it is a nother morning and the sky all grey jus like that morning so far back when I ben a boy I bint a man like you I bint no moren 10 years old.’
I said, ‘What happent?’ Thinking on Lissener and thinking on Belnot Phist. Wunnering how it wer with them and suddn I wer scaret for the werst. Becaws Goodparley myt talk easy and smyl yet you never cud be qwite sure where you wer with him. There wernt no 1 else in the shelter with us jus then. I knowit wer going to be him or me some time some way. My weapons ben took a way from me I wer wunnering if it mytnt be the bes thing if I jus grabbit his knife out of his belt and stuck it in him. It cud wel be thatwd save Inland a woal lot of Trubba. Only soons that thot come to me it like ternt Goodparley in to the Littl Shyning Man. Which some thing as wantit to be lwd be toar in 2. Plus even if it hadnt ben for that I wernt a qwick a nuff thinker to progam whatwd come nex. How to get Phist and me boath out of there. Any how the minim past nor I dint do nothing.
Goodparley movit a way and sat his self down agen. He had that blackent hook nose hump back figger on his right han it wer terning its head this way and that looking at him. Some times it wavit its arms wylst he talkit.
He said, ‘This here figger his name is Punch which hes the oldes figger there is. He wer old time back way way back long befor Eusa ever ben thot of. Hes so old he cant dy is what Granser tol me. He wernt my Granser he wernt no kin to me that ben jus the name I knowit him by I never knowit his parper name he wunt tel me it.
‘1st I ever seen of Granser I wer sitting up in a tree and the smoak going up from my fents berning. May be you think I ben beartht on the Ram beartht in to the Mincery. Wel I wernt nor I wernt beartht on no form nyther I wer beartht in a fents we wer a moving crowd sames your peopl ben time back. A border fents it wer Bad Mercy Fents you wont fynd it now its long gone. Bernt down that day in a raid from Outland. We dint have nothing for them to take only our groun and our women which they took boath. 1 time follers a nother the groun come back in a cuppl of years Weaping Form is what it is now they say you can hear the goasts of the childer what ben kilt there. The groun come back but the women never and my mum 1 of them.
‘I ben out with a forage crowd that morning we wer coming back with pig when we seen the smoak going up we sust right off what it wer. We fasleggit back and right in to the jump they ben waiting. They wer too many we dint have no chance I seen my dad go down with a arrer in his hart and others dropping all roun I droppt as wel and slyd off in the hy grass. When they finisht killing the men I heard them taking the women. Hiding in the woodlings hearing that and smelling the smoak I can stil smel that smoak it wer peopl smoak as wel as wood. When it got qwyet I crep out. Cudnt hear nothing only the fire crackling and the crows calling 1 to a nother. Wite smoak and arnge flames upping in that grey morning and the dogs coming for the dead.
‘I clum a tree and sitting up there smelling that smoak. Down be low me dogs wer grooling and smarling and the dead bodys jerking and flopping amongst them. I wer looking at the trees all roun. The way the tops of them wer swaying in the morning wind. You look outside right now beyont the clearing youwl see the tree tops swaying jus that very same way. They dont take no read of us we dont matter nothing to them. Time on far on wewl be dead and theywl be swaying in the morning wind the same. Any how there I wer and dogs all roun that tree that woal day and on in to the dark. Eat ther fil an
d come back agen they cudnt hardly walk ther bellys wer that swoal up. Parbly if Id come down out of that tree they cudntve run me down even if they bothert to try only I wernt going to chance it. I slep in that tree that nite I tyd my self in it. Stil summer it wer and warm.
‘Nex morning I woak up it wer stil smoaking and the dew on the bernt brung the smel up strong. Some of the dogs wer a sleap and others crunching boans. Emty skuls and bits of boan all roun I wunnert which of them myt be my dad. Looking at the smoak stil driffing thru the trees and I seen a littl old wite hairt bloak coming a long he lookit permuch like this here figger only no hump. Hook nose and a hook chin and a wicket littl eye. He seen me and coming tords me he wernt bothert about the dogs. Some of them looking up and they ruft a littl. He just said Trubba not like you myt to any 1 and peed agenst a tree. The leader of the pack gone over to the tree he sniffit the old bloaks syn then he peed and the old bloak sniffit his syn and that wer that. No Trubba.
‘He took me with him then I wer his boy til I come in to the Mincery 2 years after that. He showit me this figger which is Mr Punch. He dint have no fit up nor nothing the Mincery never has allowit no show of figgers only Eusa nor they wunt allow no 1 only Eusa show men to carry a fit up.’
I said, ‘What kynd of a show wer it?’
He said, ‘Iwl show you that show which he past it on to me the show and the figgers boath. Now Iwl pass it on to you the same thats how its meant to be you see. It aint like a Eusa show its meant to stay the same all the time.’
I dint have nothing to say about it all I cud do wer sit there and be a crowd of 1 to watch what ever he wer going to show. He fittit up all parper the same as if I ben 40 peopl. When he had his self all ready he said, ‘Now you ask Mr Punch if hes ready.’ Goodparley wer out of site in the fit up and I wer sat there staring at it.
I said, ‘Wel Mr Punch this woal crowd is waiting for you.’ Thinking on Lissener and Belnot Phist which I begun to feal not too easy. ‘Be you coming up to show?’ I said.
There come a littl salty voyce out of the fit up it wernt a voyce Id ever heard befor yet it wer a voyce I knowit some how it wernt no stranger to me. Salty and sharp like if a game cock wud talk. It said, ‘Showing right now. Wot a beauty.’
A littl hy womans voyce said, ‘Cor! Whatre you going to do with that girt big thing Mr Punch?’
Mr Punchs voyce said, ‘Come a littl closer and lwl show you.’
I said, ‘Mr Punch whynt you show your girt big thing up here so every 1 can see it?’
Punchs voyce said, ‘Do my bes showing down be low. Rrrrrrrr!’ He made a noys like a cock fessin taking off.
I said, ‘Cant you get your down be low up here?’
Punchs voyce said, ‘I can all ways get it up you bes stan wel back here I come.’ Up he shot then and zanting a bout with a longish flat stick it wer paintit red and wite and it wer split flatways so it wer a dubbl flat stick. You cud hear the whack of it and feal the smack of it jus looking at it. My Mr Punch what I dug out of the muck he wer all black with rot but this 1 wer all brite and sharp colourt. Face all pinky rosey and brite blue eyes he wer swanking in red and green and yeller does and a poynty red hat with a yeller wagger on it. Zanting a bout and saying, ‘Ah putta putta putta ah putta pulla way.’ Looking roun all sharp and brite and waving his stick.
I said, ‘Is that your girt big thing?’
Punch said, ‘Yes this is my 1 Big 1 its good for every il. If youre sick itwl make you wel.’
I said, ‘What if youre wel?’
Punch said, ‘No bodys wel or I wunt have this stick wud I. Its a neadful stick you see so every 1 mus nead it.’
I said, ‘Its not what I thot itwd be.’
Punch said, ‘Thats what they all say til they get use to it. All it takes is a littl getting use to. Ask Pooty.’
I said, ‘Whos Pooty?’
Punch callt, ‘Oy! Pooty!’
The littl hy womans voyce said, ‘Whats happening?’
Punch said, ‘Dont talk stupid its happent all ready.’
Pootys voyce said, ‘If its happent all ready you dont nead me do you.’
Punch said, ‘Gennl man wants to see you.’
Pootys voyce said, ‘If hes a gennl man he dont want to see me and if he wants to see me he aint no gennl man.’
Punch said, ‘Hes a frend.’
Pootys voyce said, Trends all ways want it for nothing I ratherwd have a clynt.’
Punch said, ‘Whats a clynt?’
Pootys voyce said, ‘Clynts are binses and binses comes befor pleasur.’
Punch said, ‘Whats your pleasur then?’
Pootys voyce said, ‘Binses.’
Punch said, ‘And whats your binses?’
Pootys voyce said, ‘What ever theywl pay for.’
Punch said, ‘Whatwl they pay for?’
Pootys voyce said, ‘What ever they can think of.’
Punch said, ‘What can they think of?’
Pootys voyce said, ‘Its mosly the same thing.’
Punch said, ‘What thing is that?’
Pooty comes up then she says, ‘Swossage!’ Shes a sow she dont have no does jus pink and nekkit only a littl frilly cap tyd unner her chin. Shes carrying some thing looks like a iron sossage only its got a dubbl fish tail. Like if youwd fewer a arrer up and down and crossways boath. The other end has like a nippl sticking out of it. ‘Swossage!’ says Pooty.
Punch has a good look at it he says, ‘Theres a parper banger for you les have a fry up.’
Pooty says, ‘Iwl fetch the babby and the frying pan.’
Punch says, ‘Never mynd the babby there aint a nuff swossage to go roun.’
Pooty says, ‘You know how he likes a bit of swossage.’
Punch says, ‘Hes too yung for swossage give him the tit.’
Pooty says, ‘Boan dry.’
Punch says, ‘Give him the boan then.’
Pooty says, ‘Et it our selfs dint we. Cruncht the boan and suckt the marrer.’
Punch says, ‘Then tel the babby no suck ter day. Suck ter marrer.’
Pooty says, ‘You mynd the swossage wylst I fetch him.’
Punch says, ‘Yes I wil Iwl mynd that swossage.’
Pooty looks at me then she says, ‘Now I want you to keap a eye on Mr Punch I want you to give me a shout if he has a go at that swossage.’ She puts the sossage on the play board.
I said, ‘All right Iwl do that.’
Pootys down then Punch grabs the sossage he terns his back to me and arga warga. I yelt, ‘Pooty!’ but its too late becaws Punch terns roun agen and that sossage is all gone.
Punch is rubbing his hans in joy of it he says, ‘Um. You cant beat a good banger.’
Up comes Pooty with the frying pan and the babby which its a littl pink piglet. Pooty says to Punch, ‘Youve et that swossage havent you.’
Punch says, ‘No I dint.’
I said, ‘O yes you did.’
Punch says, ‘O no I dint.’
I said, ‘O yes you did.’
Pooty says, ‘Never mynd Iwl see if I can fynd a nother swossage.’ She hans the babby to Punch she says, ‘You look after him wil you wylst Im gone.’
Punch is running his eye up and down that piglet he says, ‘O yes Iwl look after him hewl be in good hans. You bes be off now after that swossage its a long time since Ive had any.’
Pooty says to me, ‘Youwl give me a shout wont you if theres any nead.’
I said, ‘O yes Iwl do that.’
Pootys off then and Punch is holding the babby. Punch says, ‘Youwl be good wont you. You wont cry wil you.’
The babby dont say nothing.
Punch says to the babby, ‘Les walky walky.’ He puts the babby down and backs off a littl. Hols out his arms and says, ‘Walky walky:
The babby that littl pink piglet slyds tords him like it wer on a string. Grey morning lite and candls stil lit in there. Shadders wiwering and wayvering on the smoak and flames paintit on the back cloth. Punchs head wer 1 solid peace of wood b
ut looking at him I begun to think his joars myt open wide. ‘O wot a good babby,’ says Punch. O how I hoapit that babby wer going to stay good nor not give him no bother.
Punch puts the babby back where he startit. He says, ‘Walky walky’ agen.
‘Wah!’ says the babby.
Punch whacks the play board with his stick. ‘Dont cry,’ says Punch to the babby. ‘You look so terbel juicy when youre crying.’
‘Wah!’ says the babby. ‘Wah wah wah!’
Punch grabs that littl pink piglet and I yelt, ‘Pooty!’
Pootys up then and grabbing the babby as wel. Shes pulling on 1 arm and Punch on the other it looks like theyre going to tear that littl pig in 2 peaces. Punch lets go of the babby he grabs his stick and hes beating Pooty and the babby. Pootys yelling, ‘Ow ow ow!’ and the babbys screaming, ‘Wah wah wah!’ til Punch beats them qwyet. Theyre boath dead then Punch has beat the life out of them. He puts them boath in the frying pan they dont fit too wel and hanging over the sides but hes frying them the bes he can.
Up comes a ugly bloak he dont look like any kynd of good news for Punch. Hes got a hang tree which he sets it up on the play board. He says, ‘Jack Ketch is who I am which Im the Loakel Tharty roun here I thot I heard a woman frying.’
‘My wife,’ says Punch.
‘Shes a beauty,’ says Jack Ketch. ‘Iwl have a bit of that.’
‘Shes myn,’ says Punch, ‘Eat your oan wife.’
‘I heard a babby frying and all,’ says Jack Ketch. Hes got his nose pernear in that frying pan he dont ½ look hungry.
‘My babby,’ says Punch. ‘Fyndyour oan.’
‘You bes share with me or Iwl have you up for it,’ says Jack Ketch.