Pete avoided having his nose amputated by baby teeth and gums and did this slanting his head and blowing a loud raspberry on Travis’s chubby cheek, making my baby giggle and squirm more, which made me smile bigger.
Once he did this, Pete turned to Tyra and ordered, “Don’t get any ideas, woman. Your man is already saving up, not for future college tuition, for future bail money. He don’t need no more headaches in the form of hooligans.”
I looked to the two dark-headed boys currently wrestling around on the floor of the Compound, grunting and giving it their all, something Tyra was ignoring, so I guessed it was normal, and thought Pete was not wrong.
“Tack would give me ten more kids if I wanted them,” Tyra returned.
“Definition of crazy in love,” Pete muttered, turned his attention back to Travis and advised gravely, “Learn early, little man, find an ugly woman so she’ll bend over backward to do your bidding, not a pretty one you’ll break your back to do hers.”
“Pete!” Tyra snapped.
He looked again to her. “What?”
Tyra glared.
I kept out of it but only because Travis had yet to learn how to understand English.
Fortunately for Big Petey (or maybe Tyra), at that moment, a loud crash sounded in the room and I looked to see that Rider and Cutter had knocked over a chair.
But they were still wrestling.
I looked at Tyra. “Uh… is this normal?”
She stopped glaring at Big Petey and looked to me. “I’m an only child, but Tack has a brother he hasn’t spoken to in years.”
That didn’t answer my question, but she wasn’t done.
“He said they really never had anything to do with each other. All the way back since they were young. He also had a sister.”
I didn’t think the past tense of that last bit was a good thing, but I didn’t get to react since she kept going.
“He said they were in each other’s faces all the time. But he adored her. He also said that Tabby and Rush were constantly going at it from kids to teens. And they’re super-close.” She looked to her sons. “My boys are always together, sometimes wrestling or arguing, sometimes not. Whatever this is will mean something else later. Knowing that, I let them be.”
This was food for thought should I be lucky enough to give Travis a sibling.
I was chewing on that notion when the front door opened and I twisted my neck to see Tack sauntering through. As he shifted around the back of the bar and came our way, he gave a chin lift to Pete, a nod to me, and a smile to his wife that made my heart flutter in a happy way for Tyra.
“You talk to Carissa?” he asked.
“No!” Tyra cried. “Shoot! With her showing with Travis, I got caught up in baby and forgot.”
“Talk to me about what?” I asked.
Tack made it to Tyra as Tyra looked to me. “Tack and I still own my old place. We rent it out for extra cash. And our renters gave notice about a week ago.”
I didn’t know why she was telling me this, so when she stopped talking, I said, “Okay.”
“Thought you might wanna have a look at it,” Tack said.
“I—” I started but only got that far.
“A little house,” Tyra stated and at that, my heart thumped.
Travis and me in a little house?
How wonderful would that be?
“Two bedrooms,” she went on.
Two bedrooms?
Heaven!
“I redid the kitchen when I was there, which was a while back, but it’s still nice,” she kept going. “And we put new carpet down in the whole place and repainted after the renters before these and our current renters have only been in there a few months. So it’s really nice.”
“I, uh… I…” I stammered.
“We need someone in it we can trust,” Tack told me. “The ones leavin’ jacked us around. Jumpin’ their lease early ’cause they had a kid, got pregnant, need a bigger place. The ones before them got a puppy, didn’t tell us, didn’t pay a pet deposit, puppy messed the place up. Which bought new carpet and paint and a pain in our ass. Not worth the hassle of gettin’ in the faces of a couple buildin’ a family. But need someone steady. Regular. In the family, meaning our family, who we know’ll take care of the place.”
I would definitely take care of their place.
Though, I’d likely have to start selling plasma (and then some) to afford it.
“Well—” I began.
Tyra cut me off again, “Six hundred dollars a month.”
My eyes got big.
Six hundred a month?
That was only a few hundred more than what I was currently paying for the not-so-great place I was raising my son.
A deal!
She took in my big eyes and added swiftly, “Plus free cable.” When I didn’t speak because my excitement made me mute, she threw in, “And electricity paid.”
“I, uh… a house for six hundred dollars?” I finally got out.
“It’s nice. Really nice. In a good neighborhood. And you said you weren’t real big on where you’re staying,” Tyra said by way of answer.
At this point, Tack was holding out his phone. “Scroll, girl. Those are pictures. We can take you ’round whenever. Place’ll be open at the end of the month, which means a week.”
I took his phone and I scrolled through the photos. They weren’t big on the phone but I could still see the place wasn’t nice.
It was very nice. Clean and attractive with personality.
Not something that cost six hundred dollars a month.
And here it was again.
This wasn’t a deal, it was a steal.
And I’d be the thief.
Darn.
I gave Tack back his phone, saying, “That’s really sweet but I couldn’t.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because you can get more out of it if you rent to someone else,” I explained what he well knew.
“Yeah, and we can get more headaches with dogs and lease jumpers and shit like that,” he returned.
“Not to mention, the expense of placing an ad in the paper,” Tyra put in.
I didn’t know how much ads cost but I did know that whatever they cost didn’t cover what they weren’t making if they rented their place to someone who could afford it.
“And we don’t go through a management company,” Tack added. “So we gotta go through applications, pay for credit checks, drop shit to do showings. It’s a pain in the ass. You take it, we don’t have to do any a’ that shit.”
Okay, well, I could imagine that none of that was fun, not to mention it had to be time consuming and pricey.
“When’s your lease up?” Tack pushed.
“It’s month to month. Where I am, they know not to try for anything over six months. Tenants are pretty transient,” I told him. “Once I did my first six months, they went month to month.”
“Notice?” he asked.
“I’d have to check but I think it’s a week.”
“Give it. We’ll get you in. Boys’ll help. First up, Tyra’ll show you around so you know it’s where you wanna be.”
I already knew it was where I wanted to be. Me, Travis, a clean, nice little house that was not in my current neighborhood. It was where I wanted to be.
But taking advantage of them wasn’t who I wanted to be.
I opened my mouth to reply, not knowing how to turn them down, but I didn’t get a word out.
The front door opened again, all eyes went to it, including mine, and I shut my mouth as this time my heart skipped before it squeezed when Joker strode in.
Unfortunately, my ride with Snapper had worn off by Sunday morning. I knew this when I woke up with a strange ache that had Joker and his brunette written all over it. Luckily, I had work to take my mind off of it and Travis back so the ache went away when my little boy again filled my life.
But even with work (and Travis) I thought of pretty much nothing but Joker, and I’
d come to the realization that it wasn’t Joker’s fault. He didn’t lead me on. He didn’t give any indications (outside of returning that kiss) that he was interested at all.
So it was all me.
Still, it had hurt.
And seeing him right then, the ache came back.
I felt it settle in as Joker did much the same as Tack when he entered, except he came around the outside of the bar, and after giving lifts and tips of his chin to the others in the room, his eyes came to me.
“Butterfly,” he muttered.
Another heart squeeze.
Nicknames, obviously, were a biker thing. Joker’s parents hadn’t named him Joker, for sure. And Shy wasn’t Shy, Tabby had told me Saturday night his real name was Parker. Same with High, Snapper, and the rest (though I didn’t know their real names, I just knew what Tab referred to as their Club names).
That said, Ride and Cut were Tyra and Tack’s kids’ names, but shortened from Rider and Cutter.
So a nickname was the thing with biker clubs.
Still, I wished butterfly had a different meaning.
As I was wishing this, Joker sauntered right past me.
And he did this to go straight to Big Petey.
And he did this so he could firmly pull Travis from Pete’s arms, lift him up so they were face to face, and ask, “How goes it, kid?”
Taking that in, I suddenly had trouble breathing.
Travis screamed with glee and latched on with both hands to Joker’s beard.
Joker pulled him forward like he was going to give him a kiss, but he didn’t. He just touched his forehead to Travis’s before he dropped him down, making Travis lose purchase on his whiskers. He then tucked Travis’s little tush in his hand, settling his back in the curve of his arm, and turned to me.
“All good?” he asked.
Although I wasn’t certain about his question, at that moment, Joker holding my son right in front of me, all was definitely good.
“Uh… yeah,” I mumbled.
Then, in order to remain sane, I tore my eyes from Joker and saw that Big Petey had his head dropped to look at his lap, but I could see the side of his face and his lips were turned up.
I cast my gaze behind the bar and saw Tyra looked like she was trying not to laugh. Her eyes were on Joker, and they were dancing.
Tack was also looking at Joker, and his lips were curved up as well, but he was also shaking his head.
I didn’t know what any of this meant, and I didn’t give it any time to figure it out.
I couldn’t.
Because I didn’t know what to do.
Or say.
What I did know was that that ache had both intensified and lessened. The contradiction couldn’t be real, but it was and I knew it because I could feel it.
“You tell her about your place?” Joker asked and I turned my eyes back at him to see he was addressing Tack and Tyra.
“Yeah,” Tack replied. “She’s movin’ in at the end of the month.”
I opened my mouth again and again didn’t get anything out before Joker spoke.
“Good. It’s safe, Carrie, and clean. It’s also close to LeLane’s.”
My body locked.
Carrie?
I stared at him and the ache was gone.
Then something he said hit me.
“It’s close to LeLane’s?” I asked.
“Your store. Only maybe five, ten minute drive away,” Joker answered.
In my life, five, ten minutes was a far sight better than twenty. Not to mention, I’d save on gas money. Not thousands of dollars, but every savings meant something to me.
Further, I absolutely intended to pay Big Petey something for looking after Travis, but I knew whatever that was would probably not come close to what I was paying my daycare center. Travis’s center was awesome, but it was expensive.
My current rent was super cheap. But paying whatever I was going to pay Big Petey, which would be less than what I was currently paying for daycare, would more than likely cover the additional it would cost to live at Tyra’s old place.
And bottom line, where I lived was noisy. It wasn’t safe. It wasn’t attractive. It wasn’t well kept. It was too small. And I lived on the third floor. Since I was no way in heck going to leave my son in my apartment while I carried up groceries (or whatever) that meant I had to climb two flights of stairs repeatedly, carting up whatever I had to cart up along with Travis. And that was a pain in the behind.
All this meant I had no choice but to accept their kindness.
Again.
Maybe, when I became a stylist, Tyra would let me do her hair for free and let me do this for eternity.
I looked from Joker to Tack and Tyra. “Can we arrange for Travis and me to look at it tomorrow? Say, after I get done with my shift?”
Tyra’s face lit up. “Sure thing.”
“Notice today, though, babe,” Tack ordered.
I nodded.
“Yo,” we all heard.
I looked the other way, leaning to the side, and saw Snapper in nothing but long shorts and gym shoes, carrying a ribbed white tank top in his hand, his rather well-defined chest on display (and covered in a sheen of sweat). He was heading out of the doorway that led to the side hall and also to what I’d learned on cleaning day was a meeting room, a workout room, some locked doors I didn’t know what they were, and a laundry room.
“Hey, Snapper,” I called and his eyes came to me before he smiled.
“Yo, babe.”
I reached and grabbed Travis from Joker (doing this avoiding his eyes). Travis latched on to my hair right away but I didn’t feel it (I had a tough scalp seeing as he did that a lot and my scalp had no choice but to toughen up). Once I had him, I walked to Snapper.
“This is my son, Travis,” I declared and looked down to Travis. “Travis, this is Snapper. He took Mommy on a ride on Saturday and it was really nice.”
Travis gurgled, staring at Snapper while trying to eat his own fist.
“Yo, little bro,” Snapper said quietly, lifting a hand toward Travis, which meant Travis lost interest in eating his fist, wrapped his baby fingers around Snapper’s index finger, and yanked that into his mouth.
He barely got it wet before Travis was no longer in my arms.
He also no longer had hold of Snapper’s finger.
He was held high against Joker’s chest.
Travis didn’t mind, and I knew this when he commenced slapping Joker on his bearded cheek then fell forward and licked black whiskers.
That made the ache come back, but through it, I felt surprise at Joker’s maneuver.
In fact, I was surprised he’d done it the first time with Big Petey (though not as aggressively).
And I was so surprised, I was about to say something.
But then I felt it.
The tenseness in the room.
It was then I saw it.
Even with a baby sucking on his beard, Joker had his eyes locked to Snapper and he was not looking at him with motorcycle brotherly love.
I wanted to take a step back.
I wanted more to snatch my son and then take a step back.
But the heaviness of the situation was not lost on me and I sensed any movement would not be a smart idea.
So I stood still and waited.
Luckily, the wait didn’t last long.
Strangely, it ended with Snapper saying low, “I get it.”
To which Joker rumbled lower, “Good.”
I felt my eyes get big even if I had no earthly idea what was happening.
Travis gave up lapping at whiskers, declared, “Bee, bo, bah,” and yanked Joker’s hair.
Joker ignored it and kept scowling at Snapper.
“Brothers, last day of the month, clear it. Need men to move Carissa into Tyra’s old place,” Tack announced through the thick air.
Snapper stepped back, glanced at me, and said, “I’m in.” He lifted his tank top my way. “Good to see you, babe. You
r kid is cute.”
After that, he strode off without me being able to say anything.
I looked up to Joker, not knowing if I wanted to yell, stamp my foot, demand an explanation, or laugh hysterically.
I did none of these things.
Joker still had Travis held high but now he had his head turned to him.
“Know you don’t got any, little dude, but it’ll grow and I kinda like my hair where it is.”
Travis emitted a “Dee dah,” and slapped Joker on the mouth.
That mouth twitched.
Okay.
Enough.
“I’m going to the mall,” I announced.
I mean, when your life was in turmoil, what else did a girl do?
I had no money to get anything at the mall, but Travis loved it. He was social and was dedicated to charming anyone who came within two yards of him. He needed those opportunities, and they weren’t afforded when we were stuck in our tiny apartment.
So the mall it was.
I reached toward Joker and quickly averted my eyes when his came to mine.
I grabbed my boy just as Tyra declared, “Awesome! Ride and Cut and I’ll come with. I’ll call Elvira.”
I settled Travis against my body as I turned to her. “Doesn’t Elvira work?”
“Hawk has a time-off-for-shopping policy,” Tyra told me.
She said this and I knew she meant it because her head was bent and her thumb was moving over her phone.
I watched, thinking that I wanted to work for whoever this Hawk was.
“I’ll be at your house an hour before you gotta leave for shift tomorrow,” Big Petey said to me, heaving himself off his stool. “You can show me the ropes before you go.”
“Thanks, Big Petey. That’d be great,” I replied.
He lifted a hand and plodded out.
“Ride, Cut, quit tryin’ to kill each other and get your asses over here,” Tack ordered, making me think Tyra should instigate her own cursing levies since her boys were old enough to understand the English language.
“Later, Butterfly,” Joker muttered and my eyes went to him just as my heart again flipped.
“Uh, later, Joker.”
He gave me a look that said nothing, firm behind his wall of steel, then he sauntered to the back hall.
“Elvira,” Tyra said into her phone. “You. Me. Carissa. My boys. Carissa’s Travis. Mall and lunch. Thirty minutes.” Pause, “Which mall do you think? See you there.” She looked to me and smiled. “Let’s roll.”