“Don’t open the door until you know who it is.” He snapped the order at me over my sigh.
I petted Dolly on the head and shushed her and drily replied, “I can adult, Church.” I looked through the peephole and wasn’t all that surprised to see a familiar tattooed form on the other side. “It’s Wheeler. I love you and I’ll call you tomorrow.”
He grunted. “I love you, too, and tomorrow we FaceTime.”
“Goodie.” I made a smacking kiss noise and hung up the call as I pulled open the door. Dolly did her typical overenthusiastic greeting but Wheeler walked in and immediately launched into a tirade without even acknowledging the poor pooch.
“Did you know? Did Kallie tell you? And if you did know how could you not tell me? This is getting insane, Dixie.”
He ripped off the red ball cap he had on his head and ran his hands through his hair. His blue eyes were alight with fire and there was an angry flush staining his neck beneath the ink that lived there. I’d never seen him this keyed up before and I couldn’t believe this was his reaction to finding out that Kallie was a lesbian or at least curious enough about the same sex to be bisexual.
I closed the door and leaned my back against it. I held up a hand in front of me and gave him a pointed look. “First of all it’s not my place to share news like that with anyone. It’s Kallie’s life and she’s the one that has to be held accountable for her choices. This isn’t the end of the world, Wheeler.”
He threw his hands up in the air and let them fall. “How can you say that? This changes everything, and it’s not just her choices at play here.”
I scowled at him and crossed my arms over my chest, starting to get a little defensive on my sister’s behalf. “Sometimes things happen. They hurt the people we care about, but we can’t control them. You can’t be mad at her for being who she is.”
“I’m furious with her for keeping this from me.”
I sighed and walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. “She hasn’t told anyone. I think she’s scared. Realizing that you’ve been wrong about your sexual identity your entire life has to be terrifying. I’m sure she never intended to hurt you.”
His pale eyes widened at the same time his eyebrows snapped down. His mouth opened and then shut like he was a fish out of water. “What are you talking about?”
His voice was sharp and it startled me, so I took a step back. “Uh . . . the fact that Kallie was cheating on you with a woman, didn’t she finally tell you the truth?” I couldn’t imagine what else would have him so riled up.
He let out a whoosh of air and put his hands on his knees as he started to laugh almost hysterically. This went on for a solid five minutes before I put a hand on his back and said his name questioningly.
“That’s not what you were so worked up about?” I frowned at him in confusion.
He slapped the ball cap back on his head and his jaw clenched as his back teeth clicked together. “No, that’s not what I was upset about, but at least now I know that I won’t have to question whether or not the baby is mine.”
“Baby?” The word whispered out and I put a shaking hand to my lips. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
He shook his head and lifted both his hands to drag them over his face. “Nope. She showed up at the house tonight to get the rest of her stuff with a positive pregnancy test. It wasn’t a conversation that went well.”
“I can’t believe this.” I really couldn’t.
“You and me both.” He eyed me speculatively. “Are you really going to leave me here to wade through this mess on my own? Your parents aren’t talking to me and apparently Kallie has more than one secret she’s holding on to.”
I gave him a lopsided smile and nodded. “I’m really going. I’ve finally got my own happy and I’m gonna hold on to it.”
He sighed and turned towards the door. “I’m gonna miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too, and I’m here in spirit if you need me.” He gave a sharp nod and then showed himself out of the apartment. It didn’t escape my notice that when he hit the hallway he turned his head and looked longingly at the doorway where my pretty neighbor lived.
This was a mess that had just gotten even messier. But for once I knew it wasn’t all on me to clean it up. I wanted everyone I loved to have their own happy and to live their best lives possible, but I knew now that it wasn’t up to me to take them by the hand and lead them there. They had to find their own way, just like I had found mine and Church had found his. That didn’t mean I was going to stop lighting the way to all the good things I knew were waiting out there. That was intrinsically part of who I was. I was simply done being the one holding the torch.
The sun was a trillion, billion, million miles away from the Earth and every day we managed to feel its warmth. That would have to be true for those that I loved while I went and lived my own version of the fairy tale I’d always wanted. My story wasn’t perfect but the ending was and that was all that mattered.
Good things did come to those who were willing to wait.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
I already know I’m going to get all the e-mails asking how this can be a Saints of Denver book when it takes place in Mississippi. The truth is I always knew I was going to give Church a story (from the second he hit the page in Rome’s book) and I always knew it was going to be a homecoming story. I knew his past and his upbringing were going to have a major impact on his present and if I’m being really real I wanted another character with that thick southern drawl because goddamn is that sexy ;)
It was fun to take a little bit of Denver on the road and the reality is that you follow your heart when it’s right. You sacrifice your own comfort and your familiarity if that’s what’s best for the other person. Leaving Denver was Dixie following her heart instead of sticking around to fix Wheeler and Kallie’s problems for them. Dixie and Church had to go and it was a lot of fun for me to go with them. Who knows . . . I might end back up in Lowry down the road . . . I’m pretty fond of Jules and something tells me Dalen has a story to tell . . . not that I have time for any of that at the moment . . . lol.
I also want to take a minute and say that if you have a Dixie or if you know a Dixie give them a hug. Take a second to tell them how much you appreciate them. Give them a smile back and tell them thank you for bringing the light in a world that is often so dark. Every second of every single day we’re flooded with hate, shame, blame, degradation, complaints, arguments . . . it takes a person so much bigger and brighter than me to tune that out and focus on the good. It takes a special kind of person to know the clouds eventually have to part. Having a smile and kind words when people don’t deserve them takes a strong soul and a warrior’s heart. People LOVE to scream and shout about all the things they hate, and the whispers about the good, about the joy and the things that make us happy, get lost in all the noise. That makes me so sad. It should be a thousand times easier to share our excitement over what we love than it is to commiserate about what we loathe.
To all the Dixies out there . . . we need more of you, so don’t ever let the world steal your sunshine. If you smile at me I promise I will always do my best to smile back.☺
RIVETED PLAYLIST
Heartless Bastards: Out at Sea
The Cactus Blossoms: You’re Dreaming
The Wild Reeds: Let No Grief
Smooth Hound Smith: Forever Cold
The Lowest Pair: The River Will
Bob Dylan: Mississippi
Mountain: Mississippi Queen
Johnny Cash: Jackson
Kings of Leon: Back Down South
Tom Petty: Down South
Calexico: Bullets & Rocks
Dave Rawlings Machine: The Weekend
Rhiannon Giddens: Black Is the Color
The White Buffalo: I Got You
The Stray Birds: Shining in the Distance
Shakey Graves: Dearly Departed
Band of Horses: No One’s Gonna Love You
Punch Brothers: This
Girl
The Sea The Sea: In the Dark
Lewis & Leigh: There is a Light
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To all my friends (“readers” seems so formal at this point), thank you for going on another journey with me. Thank you for trusting me with your time. Thank you for supporting me and for loving these characters as much as I do. You’ve encouraged me to do better, to reach further, and to invest more with each book. Your words have influenced my words, which means these books tie us together forever. Letting my books into your life when we’re all so busy and so hectic with other things is a big deal and I’m ALWAYS honored that you choose to spend some of that time with me and my guys. Thank you for reading, and thank you for continuing to read. I promise it’s always going to be a good time!
To every blogger that has ever shared a post, participated in a tour, asked for an interview, put up a review, or asked me to be involved in any way with your followers . . . THANK YOU! Thank you for sharing. Thank you for caring. Thank you for loving books and sharing that love with others. Thank you for doing what you do, often with little thanks. Thank you for your time and for the space, I know those are both a valuable commodity!
I have to thank my fellow author and fellow dog lover (shout-out to Gus) Andie J. Christopher. I asked her to read through Riveted at the zero hour to make sure I gave Church and his heritage the respect it deserves. Her feedback was brilliant, thoughtful, moving, and insightful, which reinforces that the characters we love should represent people from all walks of life. Love is love is love and there really should be no formula or standards for how that looks.
I gotta thank my people: Cora, JLA, Heather, Stacey, Ali, Debbie, Kristen, Karina, Jen Mac, Tucker, Dee. Find your tribe, they really do make it all better. We all need people that force us to be better but also accept us when we’re at our worst.
To all the people that go above and beyond to make sure these books are the best they can be . . . you have my eternal thanks. They say you aren’t working when you’re doing what you love . . . that’s a lie! Lol . . . so much work goes into getting a good book to the reader but you guys make it a treat rather than a chore. Amanda, you wrangle words in a way that I am both in awe of and intimidated by. You’ve set the bar high and frankly I thought by now I would be tired of reaching for it . . . somehow you always have me jumping up to catch on. Stacey, you talk me both down and up without getting dizzy. KP, you are a wizard and a visionary and without a doubt the hardest-working woman I know. Mel, thank you for being an adult when I just can’t do it. Thank you for being my partner in crime and for being reasonable when I just can’t be. You are the oil that keeps the machine running and I’m well aware I would be broken down on the side of the road without you. To the rest of the team at HarperCollins . . . thank you for continuing to believe in me and encourage me. Thank you for giving my books a home and treating them like they are family.
To my folks . . . thanks for being rad. Thanks for not being afraid of adventure and whatever is waiting around the next corner. Thank you for the endless support and both the hand-holding and the real talk. Mom, thanks for giving up an entire month of your life because I wanted to see the world and didn’t want to do that with anyone besides you. Thanks for not murdering me when I couldn’t get my giant suitcase under seventy pounds no matter how hard I tried!!
Mike, thanks for being the guy who gets shit done. Thank you for your creativity and for your willingness to be there when I need you the most. You are the best right-hand man a gal could ask for . . . don’t forget to get my Opie Funko signed at Comic-Con!
To my pack . . . thank you for inspiring a love that is special. Thank you for inspiring this book in a roundabout way. Thank you for being fuzzy and warm no matter how cold it is outside.
I WILL LOVE you forever if you made it this far and you take the time to leave a review on whichever retail site you purchased Riveted on!
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EXCERPT FROM SALVAGED
Can’t wait for Hudson and Poppy’s story? Keep reading for an exclusive excerpt to the next Saints of Denver Novel from New York Times bestselling author Jay Crownover,
SALVAGED
Hudson Wheeler is a nice guy. Everyone knows it, including his fiancée who left him with a canceled wedding and a baby on the way. He’s tired of finishing last and is ready to start living in the moment with nights soaked in whiskey, fast cars, and even faster girls. He’s set to start living on the edge, but when he meets Poppy Cruz, her sad eyes in the most gorgeous face he’s ever seen hook him in right away. Wheeler can see Poppy’s pain and all he wants to do is take care of her and make her smile, whatever it takes.
Poppy can’t remember a time when she didn’t see strangers as the enemy. After a lifetime of being hurt from the men who swore to protect her, Poppy’s determined to keep herself safe by keeping everyone else at arm’s length. Wheeler’s sexy grin and rough hands from hours restoring classic cars shouldn’t captivate her, but every time she’s with him, she can’t help being pulled closer to him. Though she’s terrified to trust again, Poppy soon realizes it might hurt even more to shut Wheeler out—and the intense feelings pulsing through her are making it near impossible to resist him.
The only thing Poppy is sure of is that her heart is in need of some serious repair, and the more time she spends with Wheeler, the more she’s convinced he’s the only man with the tools to fix it.
Coming June 2017
Prologue
I was the kind of guy that thought I had it all figured out. That mostly came from my entire childhood being spent in chaos and upheaval. When I was old enough to call my own shots and make my own way, I did with a single-minded determination and unwavering dedication. I knew what I wanted and every move I made, every step I took moved me towards that perfectly planned future I had been dreaming of from the minute I realized I was all on my own. A realization that came far too early and was brutally reinforced every single time I was forced to switch from one temporary home to the next.
I clung to the idea that I would do everything differently which would lead to a life that was easy, smooth, and as steady as a car with a new alignment and high end shocks. I found the girl that was meant to be mine and held onto her in a death grip. I went out of my way to be whoever she needed me to be, to never give her any kind of reason to go. I made her the center of my entire world, not realizing she might feel trapped there over time. I started a business, bought a house and made plans . . . so many plans. Plans that would be considered simple and boring to some, but they covered everything I wanted since the time I was four years old.
I had my eyes on the prize, the promise of what could be if I worked hard, took care of my woman, and did everything the person that was supposed to love me and care for me didn’t do. I would have held on to the bitter, burning end but there was nothing I could do when the rope was cut. All I could do was fall.
I felt my grip on everything slipping the day she walked into my shop with one of my friends. Rowdy St James worked at the tattoo shop where I got most of my ink done. He had called and asked me to clear out my shop one weekend afternoon so that he could bring his girlfriend’s sister in to look at a car. He didn’t need to explain why the shop needed to be cleared out. Th
e girl had been all over the news months before. You couldn’t get away from her terrified face and shaking body as her horrifying ordeal was splashed all over the media. Her husband had taken her at gunpoint, Salem, her sister and Rowdy’s lady, had been there as well. The girl only went with the lunatic to keep her sibling safe but it had resulted in a nightmare that I couldn’t imagine anyone coming back from. So, I cleared out the shop so she wouldn’t have to worry about being surrounded by a bunch of dirty, boisterous men that wouldn’t know how to behave around someone as fragile and delicate as she appeared to be.
Things at home had been rocky, rougher than class five rapids in winter but I was paddling for my life and prepared to ride it out. I couldn’t let go, I wouldn’t let go, but I saw her the day she walked through my shop and I started to feel how sore my hands and my heart were from holding on.
Her head was down, focused on the tips of her shoes. Her shoulders were hunched over and her long hair hid her face. She was skinny, so skinny, nothing but skin and bones. She was nothing that I should have noticed, not because she was clearly doing everything in her power to be invisible but because I was supposed to have my eyes locked on my future and doing whatever I could to salvage it. But I did notice her and I couldn’t look away once I did.
She was obviously terrified, clearly out of her element and uncomfortable but it wasn’t her unease that called to me . . . it was her loneliness. I could feel it filling up the space that separated us. Stretching, growing, expanding until it was all I was breathing in and exhaling back out. It was bitter on my tongue and heavy across my skin because I knew the feeling well. The reason I was so set on the way things had to be, the reason I was single mindedly set on settling down and building a life with the girl that was slipping through my fingers was because I never wanted to be as alone as this girl was again. I didn’t want to be left and forgotten. I’d barely survived it the first time.