He stiffens in my arms and hugs me tighter against him. “I’ll miss you more.”
Before I turn into a puddle right here on the ground, I shove myself away from him and hop in the cab. I never imagined saying goodbye to him would be so difficult. I press my hand onto the glass as I say goodbye.
My heart crushes as the driver pulls away, leaving Zach standing in the parking lot with his hands shoved in his pockets. There’s a pained expression on his face and I fight back the sob that’s threatening to expose how sad I am about leaving him. Our eyes lock, and we don’t break out stare until the cab turns the corner and he’s out of my sight forever.
Chapter 11
RIFF
My fingers tangle and I hit the wrong chord as Noel and Lanie pass by hand in hand. She grins up at him like he’s perfect and he has the biggest smile on his face.
That shit isn’t fucking fair. I want to out him so bad. Assholes like us don’t deserve happiness.
Trip catches me staring as he twirls his drumstick in his fingers. He shakes his head. “Don’t do it, dude. Nothing good will come out of you getting involved.”
“I’m going to tell her.”
Tyke looks up from his base. “Tell who, what?”
Trip looks at his brother. “Riff wants to tell Lanie about Sophie.”
Tyke frowns. “I have to go with Trip on this one. Stay out of it.”
“You guys don’t get it.” I go back to working the strings on my guitar.
They don’t understand what it feels like to want something you can’t have. They’ve never been through real emotional pain. I don’t want Lanie to go through that if she doesn’t have to. Sure, it’ll hurt no matter when she finds out Noel’s keeping a secret baby from her, but it’ll hurt even more once she’s got a ton of time invested in this relationship.
Noel approaches us as we get ready for our set. “Hey, guy. I’ve got some news.”
“Oh, joy,” I say, sarcasm thick in my voice.
He quickly cuts me a look before continuing. “I got a call to visit a sick kid out in Arizona for a charity.”
“That’s awesome, bro. When do you leave?” Tyke asks.
“Tonight, right after the show.”
My wheels start to turn. “Is Lanie going with you?”
Noel shakes his head. “No. She’s actually going to stay on the bus with you guys for the night. Can I trust you all to look after her?”
I roll my eyes. I know that little dig is a warning for me to stay away from her, but what he doesn’t know is I’m not interested in her for that any more. It will, on the other hand, be the perfect opportunity to share with her a certain secret our fearless leader has been keeping from her.
Trip snickers. “You mean can you trust us not to try and sleep with her? Yeah. I think we’re all pretty clear she’s your girl after all the times we’ve heard her scream your name.”
Noel grins. “She does do that a lot.”
I turn my back and try to block out the love fest over Noel’s sex life going on behind me. That fucker doesn’t even know how good he has it.
The crowd screams as I play the signature riff of our biggest hit song. I love this. The energy the fans throw out to us rocks me to the soul. There’s nothing like being in the moment and having thirty thousand people sing the words to our songs in unison.
Noel brings the mic close to his lips. “This next song goes out to the girl who shredded my heart without hesitation back in high school. It’s called Ball Busting Bitch, and Lanie, this one’s for you.”
I shake my head and laugh. He has balls, I’ll give him that. I’m surprised he even uses that line in the show now that she’s back. If I were Lanie I would throat punch him for talking shit about me to the world.
We play together in perfection. Noel hits every note and the rest of us play the shit out of our instruments. The guitar solo is my favorite part of this song. I love the way it screams like a scorned woman telling her lover to take a flying leap.
The song wraps up and I fling black guitar picks with our band name into the crowd. It’s amazing to see the fans fight over something because one of us touched it. It really solidifies that we are actually pretty fucking cool.
I hand the roadies my guitar and head off the stage. On the other side of the amps stands a tall blonde in a skin-tight, black mini skirt. She grins at me and then twirls a piece of hair around her finger as I come within a couple feet of her.
I know what she wants, but I’ve kind of lost all interest in the band, gigs, and even chicks since Kitten left. I’ve not handed out one golden ticket since we hooked up because I experienced a connection with her. I’m actually starting to worry that she’s ruined me for all other women.
The only time my dick gets hard now is when I think of her and our nights together.
I walk past the blonde and she grabs my arms as I pass by. “Riff, can I get your autograph?”
I sigh. “Sure. You have a pen?”
She bites her pouty, bottom lip. “I was hoping maybe you’d sign me in a more intimate place.”
Typically I’d be all over this shit. She’s practically begging for it and I know she’d do anything I want. Maybe even anal if I wanted.
I shake my head. “Not tonight. I’ve got other plans.”
She studies me for a long moment. “Too bad. Can I go back to your bus anyhow? Maybe one of the other guys—”
I don’t give her time to finish her sentence because I’m not in the fucking mood. Trip and Tyke are perfectly capable of finding their own ass for the night. They don’t need my help for that.
After grabbing some food and hanging out with the twins for a bit I head off to find some peace and quiet. I make it to the sanctuary of the bus. I gather some clean clothes and head into the shower. While I’m in there, the distinct sound of Lanie and Noel going at each other pours through the thin walls.
All the noises make me think of Kitten. I wonder what she’s doing right now or who she’s with. I haven’t talk to her since we left Dallas. I’ve been tempted to message her, but stop myself every time. I don’t want to seem like a weepy sap and beg her to be with me another night. She made it very clear I’m no good for her and that we should stay friends.
The only problem is we can never be friends. People don’t keep daydreaming about fucking their friends.
I towel off and get dressed before making my way to the kitchen. Tyke and Trip are playing the Xbox, battling over gamer supremacy as I grab my Oreos and milk. The guys go at it as I enjoy my most relaxing snack. Watching the cookie dip into the milk reminds me of Hailey every time I do it.
God, I miss her. What I wouldn’t give to have her back.
Before I get too swept up in my thoughts, Mike climbs inside the bus. “Where’s Noel? I’ve been waiting nearly a half hour.”
I grin. This is the perfect time to piss him off. “Let me go get him.”
I bang on the bedroom door when I get to the end of the hall. I wait a couple seconds and when I don’t hear any movement I fling open the door and barrel through.
My eyes widen as they land directly on Lanie’s naked breasts. She screeches at the top of her lungs as she attempts to cover up her shirtless chest.
Noel protectively wraps his arms around her. "What the fuck, dude? I didn’t say come in."
"Sorry, bro. Didn't know you were..." My eyes slide down her body and a slow grin spreads across my face. Busted. "...busy."
Noel's eyes narrow. "Well, now you know. So get the fuck out."
I glance over at Lanie’s horrified face and then turn my attention back to Noel. "Just thought you would want to know your ride to the airport has been waiting for almost twenty-five minutes, but I can see you’re busy. I'll tell them to piss off."
A heavy sigh leaves Noel's mouth. "Thanks, man. Tell them I'll be out in a second."
I raise my eyebrows and make a show of trying to be the non-asshole out of the two of us. "You sure? If I were you, I think I’d make them wa
it."
Noel’s fingers roll into fists. "Yeah. Now get the fuck out."
I close the door behind me after shrugging and mumbling, “You’re the boss,” under my breath.
Noel has absolutely no plans of telling Lanie about Sophie. He’s going to ride this ocean of lies as long as he can. Well, I’ve got news for him, this shark is about to ruin his perfect wave.
AUBREY
I check my cell for the tenth time in the last hour. Isaac has me working overtime with him on Noel’s charity since I came back from Texas. Markers and storyboards clutter his normal tidy office. I’ve never seen it in such disarray.
Isaac himself appears more casual. His suit jacket hangs on the back of his high-back chair and his white button up shirt has the top two buttons undone while his tie hangs loose. The sleeves are shoved to nearly his elbows, exposing his defined forearms.
He shoves his hand into his thick blonde hair and lets out a loud sigh. “I’m stumped. I think I need a change of scenery to get the brain firing again.”
I collect my notepad from the chair beside me. “I think calling it a night is a good idea. I’m beat.”
Isaac shoves his glasses up his nose. “I was thinking more like we should go get a drink somewhere.”
I raise my eyebrows and alarms go off in my head, but I figure what the hell. “Sure.”
“Great.” He smiles. “Let’s go.”
We catch a cab over to the Flatiron Lounge. Isaac and some other big wigs at the firm like to frequent this place after work. I’ve heard some big deals have gone down in this place. The area is tight, like most spaces in New York, but the atmosphere is nice. The lights are turned down, but it’s still bright enough to see everything clearly. Patrons sit closely at the bar and at small tables, talking amongst themselves.
The evening crowd is mostly dressed in clothes to go out. Women wear trendy cocktail dresses while the men still have dress shirts and slacks on. Isaac fits in perfectly, but me on the other hand could’ve used a shower and fresh clothes. My pencil skirt is wrinkled from hours of assisting my boss on the charity project that’s supposed to belong to my best friend.
I frown. I need to talk to her about this soon. Things are spinning out of control quickly, and if I don’t get some input from her now, this won’t be her project at all.
“Something wrong?” Isaac asks while peering at me through his square, black framed glasses.
His blue eyes search mine and I debate telling him how bad I feel about keeping this from Lanie, but decide against it. I’m sure he’s sick of hearing about this by now.
I smile. “No. Everything is fine.”
He takes my hand and leads me to the bar. The small gesture surprises me, but I don’t pull away. It’s actually kind of nice.
We place our order—our hands still connected, and then take our drinks to the nearest open table. He lets go of me and sweeps his hand in front of him, indicating for me to sit first. I slide into the long couch and Isaac sits next to me. We face the bar, both sipping on our drinks. It feels a little awkward now that we’re here together and held hands. I’m not sure if that even meant anything.
Isaac clears his throat. “Is this the first time you’ve been here?”
I nod. “Yes. It’s nice though.”
“I like it, too.”
Another moment of awkward silence follows and I take a drink.
A couple at the end of the bar catches my attention. The man stands out among the suit wearing types with his black shirt and multiple ear piercings. I smile. He must be lost.
I bite my bottom lip as my thoughts drift back to Zach and how much he would stand out in a place like this too. It’s only been a couple days since I saw him, and I know I said I only wanted friendship from him, but I miss him. The easy smile he wears when we’re together—the never stagnant conversations. Things with him felt so easy, which is hard to explain because we don’t really know a damn thing about each other. Well, other than every inch of each other’s bodies.
“It’s good to get out of the office. It really helps me to refocus when I’m stumped on a project to get some fresh air, so to speak,” Isaac says as he leans back into the booth. “I’m glad you came with me.”
I smile. “I’m glad you invited me.”
I pause. Am I glad? I mean, this is the kind of man I said I needed to settle down with and I am completely flattered by his attention, but that doesn’t stop the fact that two seconds ago I was thinking about how I actually missed another man.
Isaac raises his arm and rests it along the back of the booth behind me. “That’s good news. You’re a really hard one to read. I wasn’t sure if you would agree to a date with me.”
I raise an eyebrow and cross my legs in his direction. “I wasn’t aware this was a date.”
A bashful grin fills his handsome face. “I’d like it to be if that’s okay with you.”
He’s a good man with a level head on his shoulders. He would be a stable choice and probably wouldn’t hurt me like most guys I date. This should be a no-brainer. Why do I feel so hesitant?
Before I can think on it any longer, my cell vibrates on the table. “Sorry, let me grab this.”
Lanie’s text pops up on my screen. She’s sad Noel’s leaving her for the night. I respond and tell her to get some much needed sleep while he’s gone because I’m sure she’s going to need her strength when he gets back.
My cell buzzes again and I roll my eyes. She always has to have the last word.
The moment my eyes scan my phone my breath hitches. An instant message from Riff pops onto my screen.
Riff: Kitten, I miss you. What are you doing right now?
Guilt floods through me while my gaze darts to Isaac. Zach misses me. That’s got to count for something, right? Maybe he isn’t the one-night stand kind of guy? Did I do the right thing blowing him off? I was only trying to protect myself from getting hurt, and yet I fear I made a bit of a mistake.
I wish I knew for certain we’d work out. I don’t want to go through heartbreak of being dumped yet again. A man like Zach can’t be trusted.
Isaac tilts his head. “You all right?”
I run my fingers through my hair and close my eyes. “Yeah. Totally fine.”
The only way I’m going to get over the passion I felt in Zach’s arms is to move on. Contact with each other will only scratch at the tiny opening of hurt I already feel. I need to end it.
Aubrey: I’m on a date...
Before I can toss my phone back on the table, it buzzes again.
Riff: Do you like him?
I sigh as I reply.
Aubrey: Too early to tell at this point.
What’s with the twenty questions he’s throwing at me?
Riff: I bet he can’t make you scream his name out like I can.
I shake my head.
Aubrey: Friends don’t talk to each other like this...
Hopefully that reminds him of the little conversation we had at the bar.
Riff: Fuck being friends, then. I want you.
I feel a blush creep into my cheeks. He’s knows exactly what to say in order to get to me. A forceful man that isn’t afraid to go after what he wants is my biggest weakness. I guess it’s why I’m always falling for the wrong type of man. Guys like that don’t think about consequences or futures, which is why relationships with them never work, no matter how much I want them to.
Aubrey: I can’t...
Riff: Can’t what?
Aubrey: Be with you.
Before he has a chance to respond, I toss my phone into my purse. Isaac stares at me expectantly, but I merely shrug. There’s no way I’m going into the long sordid details of how my weekend fling wants more from me. Information about your sexual relationships getting out in the workplace is never a good scene. People are so judgmental and I don’t want to be known as the office slut because I enjoy having a little fun from time to time.
Isaac opens his mouth to speak, but before he does I cut
him off because he’s so predictable I know exactly what he’s going to say. “Everything’s fine. It’s Lanie. She’s missing Noel.”
He raises his eyebrows. “So she and Noel Falcon are...”
I sigh. Sometimes I let my loose lips get me into trouble, but the cat’s out of the bag now. I might as well answer the best I can. “She knew Noel growing up. They were high school sweethearts. They’re actually pretty, sickeningly-sweet.”
“You don’t think that’s romantic? Reuniting with a first love can be powerful thing.”
I grin. “That’s actually one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard a man say.”
He twists his lips and fights back a smile. “I try.”
I lean my elbow on the table and rest my cheek in my hand. Maybe there is something that can work about a nice guy. I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to have someone love you back just as much as you love them. I gaze into his clear blue eyes and wonder if I can be truly happy with a man like him. Would I miss the wild nights? He doesn’t look like he’s the type to spice things up too much in bed.
But is that the trade off? Love of a solid man equals the loss of amazing sex?
Isaac leans in a bit. “I like you, Aubrey, and want the chance to get to know you better. Would you go out on a real date with me sometime? No strings attached, just dinner.”
“Isn’t that against some sort of company policy?”
He shrugs. “I’m sure it is since I’m your direct boss, but we can keep things between us for a while and see how things go.”
He’s right. The fact that he’s my direct boss probably is a bad thing, but he doesn’t seem too concerned about it. If we start down this path and things don’t work I don’t know what that’ll mean for me, but I know that Isaac is a nice guy. He’d never try to start something if he wasn’t sure we’d work out. He’s too much of a planner to be spontaneous.
Dating him may be the change in my love life I need.
Chapter 12
RIFF
Aubrey’s response that she can’t be with me cuts deep. I fire back am instant message asking her why, but she doesn’t answer. The urge to fling my phone across the bus fills every inch of me. Why didn’t I see this coming? I’m a rotten bastard that deserves this misery, and I want to kick my own ass for allowing myself to feel things for this girl—to want more with her. She’s genuine, and that’s what I want.