She sucked in a sharp breath. “Thanks.” She reached for the door handle, seeming just as reluctant to go as I was to let her. Slowly she got out and started to turn away, but quickly stuck her head back in. “Will you call me later?”
“Call. Text. FaceTime.” I gave her a wink and a smile, trying to relieve some of that haunted look in her eyes. “Whatever you want, baby.”
“Call me,” she murmured. “I would really appreciate it if you did.”
“Then I will,” I promised.
“Okay then. Thanks…” She stepped back and shut the door but stood on the sidewalk for a few moments before finally waving and walking to the house.
I watched her go, dreading the distance she put between us with each step she took. Only once she was inside did I put my car in gear and head back to my apartment. After a few miles I activated the car’s voice command to call Lucy. She picked up after a few rings.
“Jace?”
I glared out the windshield. “Hey, Lu. Can you do me a favor?”
There was a small pause on her end before she answered. “If I can, sure.”
I gritted my teeth, mentally cursing myself. “I just left Kin at her father’s house. Can you call her? She’s had a rough few days.”
“I heard something happened at the gala the other night with the Montez family and the Jacobsons, but I didn’t really pay attention to what was being said.” She blew out a long breath. “Yeah, Jace. I’ll call her now.”
I stopped at a traffic light and leaned my head back against the headrest, closing my eyes. I wanted to turn around and go back for her. Take her home with me and never let her go back to that fucking house again. Instead, I cleared my throat, knowing there wasn’t a damn thing I could do. “Thanks, Lucy.”
Kin
The house was oddly quiet as I let myself in and headed up the stairs. I’d honestly expected Jillian to be waiting on me as soon as I walked through the door. Yet there was no sign of her, and I didn’t hear her voice as I passed her bedroom on the way to my own.
I didn’t know if I was relieved to not have to deal with her shit right then or if I was even more pissed. I wanted to have it out with her. Wanted to yell and scream and call her names and then I wanted to put my fist through her face and yell some more. She was why my real family was gone a week sooner than expected. She was the one at fault for ruining my time with my loved ones. She had ruined my first Christmas without my mother, which had been a fucking disaster, and all I wanted to do was cry.
Cry, damn it.
I hated crying.
Opening the door to my room, I tossed my bag on the bed and slammed the door behind me. Had I really ever been this angry? I couldn’t remember a time when I’d been so upset, so hurt, so resentful of any one person in my life. I had a throbbing headache from the tension and my eyes felt like they were going to pop out of my head at any second.
As I dropped down on the end of the bed, there was a soft tapping at the door seconds before it opened. I lifted my head, ready to rip in to Jillian, but clamped my mouth shut as soon as I saw it wasn’t her.
Carolina stood in the doorway with a wrapped present in her hands as she stared almost shyly at me. “Hi,” she murmured softly, as if I were a wild animal and she was trying not to scare me away.
I didn’t answer as I continued to glare at her. She had been on her mother and sister’s side the entire time I’d lived there. I couldn’t trust her. She had laughed and snickered every time her mother had nagged me half to death over some petty bullshit.
Hadn’t she?
Realizing that I didn’t honestly know the answer suddenly had me frowning. Had she done those things? I couldn’t remember. Sure I remembered the glee on Georgia’s face as she’d done those things, but I couldn’t remember if Carolina had.
“Can I…come in?” she murmured, the smile on her face looking uncertain.
Still trying to figure out if Carolina had been just as bad as her older sister, I was so distracted that I waved her in without a word.
Hesitantly she offered me the present in her hands. “This is for you. From…all of us.”
That pulled me out of my musings and I lifted my brows at her obvious lie. Carolina grimaced and set the present on the bed beside me. “Okay, it’s from me,” she quickly amended. “I thought you might like this.”
Curious, I reached for it. The thing wasn’t very heavy and didn’t rattle when I shook it a few times. Pulling at one end of the package I slowly tore off the colorful Christmas wrapping to find a plain box underneath. Lifting the lid of the box I nearly dropped it when I saw what Carolina had given me.
Music paper. Lots and lots of music paper. At least a thousand sheets that were thick and a pretty beige. I’d seen this paper before and knew just how expensive it was. I made so many mistakes at times, though, that I’d never thought of buying any for myself to put my songs on.
My head shot up, meeting her eyes questioningly. “What’s this?”
She blushed. “I’ve heard you in here writing your songs and the last time you were working on one you started cursing because you had run out of paper,” she explained, her teeth sinking into her full bottom lip for a moment before she shrugged. “Your songs are incredibly good, Kin. I especially love the one you wrote for your mother… Anyway, I saw this at the store the next day and thought of you.”
I was beyond speechless. It was a thoughtful gift and one I hadn’t expected to come from anyone I had to share the same roof with. She had to have gone looking for the paper because it wasn’t the type that would just be lying around in any store.
“Thank you,” I belatedly told her after she had been standing there watching me for nearly a full minute. “I appreciate the gift, Carolina.”
She gave me a small, genuine smile and turned for the door. With her hand on the knob, she stopped and glanced at me over her shoulder. “I’m really sorry about Christmas Eve, Kin. Mother is a horrible bitch, and the things she was spewing about you and Angie were spiteful and untrue.”
I still had no idea what Jillian had been saying about me that had set Angie off in the first place. She’d tried to tell me, but I’d refused to listen. Jillian didn’t matter and that was the end of it as far as I was concerned.
“Thanks, Carolina. And thanks again for the present,” I told her with a small smile.
My phone started ringing with Lucy’s familiar ring tone before the door had even closed behind her. Feeling drained all of a sudden I lifted the phone to my ear and fell back against the pillows. “Hey, stranger.”
“Hey. How are you?” Her voice was full of concern and I knew that she must have heard what had gone down with Jillian and my family at the stupid gala.
“I’m okay,” I told her, although I wasn’t completely sure if it was the truth or not, but I didn’t want to talk about it. I was exhausted—physically, mentally, emotionally. Especially emotionally. “What’s up?”
“Jace called me. He was concerned about you.”
My heart contracted at the thought of Jace. He’d been with me for the last few days. Beside me. Behind me. In the background. Front and center. The guy had slept with me on his lap all night long Christmas Eve and gotten a stiff neck for me. He had held my hand—held me—and been there for me when I’d needed him the most. I missed him like crazy and he’d just left me at the door not twenty minutes before.
“I’m okay, Lu. I swear.”
“Want to come over?” she asked, changing the subject. “Mom is making cookies.”
My mouth watered at the thought of one of Layla Thornton’s homemade cookies, but instead of jumping to my feet I reached for the box of music paper beside me on the bed. My fingers traced over the lid as I shook my head. “Nah. I’m not hungry. Maybe tomorrow, though. I think I’m just going to call it an early night.”
“It’s three in the afternoon, Kin.”
I fought back a yawn. “Yeah, but I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m bone tired, Lu.”
/> “Okay. Well, I’ll let you get some rest, then.” I could hear the love in Lucy’s voice and let it wrap around me like a blanket. “Call me if you need to talk, babe. You know I’m here for you any time.”
“Yeah, Lu. I know.” I turned onto my side, kicked off my shoes and pulled my legs toward my chest. “Night, Lu.”
“Night, Kin.”
Chapter 18
Kin
The next week passed in a blur.
I avoided Jillian like the plague so I wouldn’t be tempted to knock her teeth down her throat. She avoided me just as much, making me wonder what the hell was up with her. From the day I’d moved in she’d been riding my ass, now she kept her distance. Not that I was complaining, I was just curious as to why she would do that all of a sudden.
Lucy’s birthday arrived and I stayed in my room until it was time to go to First Bass for the party. Marcus was picking me up as Lucy had requested, but she had no idea that I wasn’t going to be the only one waiting on her when she got to the club that night. Harris had been working with his stepmother and Emmie Armstrong to pull off a surprise party for Lucy.
I was looking forward to the party and had almost asked Carolina if she wanted to join us. Almost. Over the past week she had become a welcomed ally. She came into my room each evening and we would talk and I was slowly getting to know her. I didn’t consider her a step-bitch any longer, but I didn’t count her as my stepsister either. If I had to give our relationship a name I would call it the beginnings of a semi-friendship. I still didn’t completely trust her so I wasn’t going to go crazy and call her a real friend. Not yet, at least.
As I got ready for the party, excitement had me feeling jittery. I hadn’t seen Jace since he’d dropped me off at Scott’s house the day after Christmas, but we’d talked every night. More than once I’d fallen asleep with him still on the phone. It had been nice and reminded me of how things had been before he’d left Virginia with Tainted Knights. I was dying to see him again.
Marcus arrived right on time and I got to the club just as everyone else was. Lucy’s family all greeted me at once, welcoming me lovingly into their fold as we prepared to surprise Lucy. The Tainted Knights guys were the last to arrive, having been asked to perform for the party.
Jace walked in with his bandmates and my heart did a painful flip in my chest. I couldn’t help but watch him with eyes that told the world I was ready to give in. That I wanted to see what could happen between the two of us if we tried again.
I didn’t want to talk to him about it in front of Lucy’s family though, so I avoided him throughout the night. He kept trying to approach me, but I knew if I got within a foot of him I was going to beg him to kiss me, so I stayed away. A flash of hurt crossed his face when he realized I didn’t want to be around him, but before I could set him straight he walked over to the bar where Gray was drinking a beer.
Grimacing, I promised myself I’d set him right before I went to him later, and turned my full attention on the party.
Lucy had a great time and was barely able to keep her eyes open by the time everyone left. Her dad carried her out to their vehicle, but when Jesse asked if I needed a ride, I told him I had one already.
At least I hoped I did. I hadn’t talked to Jace all night so I wasn’t sure if he would drive me or not. I could take a cab home if I had to, I supposed, but I was hopeful that wouldn’t have to happen.
With Lucy and her parents gone, it was just Harris and Jace left with me in the club except for the few staff Harris had asked to work the party. I sat across from Jace as he and Harris had one last beer while the staff cleaned up.
“Thought you would go with the Thorntons,” Jace grumbled as he took a deep swallow of his beer.
I shrugged. “I didn’t want to go back to my father’s house yet.”
His brows lifted. “You couldn’t stay with Lucy tonight?”
“Sure, but I’m not in the mood for a sleepover with Lu.” But I was hoping for one with Jace.
“Can I drive you back to Malibu, then?” He leaned forward, his beer finished.
I pretended to think it over. “I guess so,” I murmured.
Harris shook his head. “You two need to get over the past already.”
I was over it—for the most part. Now I wanted to focus on the present and maybe even the future. “Yeah,” I agreed with a nod. “I’ll work on that.”
Rolling his aquamarine eyes, Harris stood. “Let’s get out of here. I’m exhausted.”
Jace jumped to his feet, his keys already in hand as he reached for my hand. Instead of grasping my fingers, however, he gripped my wrist firmly, as if he was afraid I would run off on him if he didn’t hold on to me. Harris said goodnight at the vehicles. Jace stood beside his own, waiting until his friend was gone before moving to open my door for me.
“What was with the cold shoulder all night?” he growled as he blocked the door, not allowing me to move to get in.
I dropped the cool act and reached out to touch one hand to his chest. Blue eyes widened and he covered my hand, pressing it closer over his heart. “I didn’t trust myself to keep my hands to myself if I let you get too close,” I told him honestly and watched as his eyes darkened. Licking my desert-dry lips, I asked him for the only thing I really wanted right then. “Can we go back to your place and talk?”
“Just talk?” he teased with a wicked grin as he lowered his head. His warm breath caressed my cheek as he pressed his lips to my temple.
“For now, talk.” I shivered as he kissed a path down my cheek to my jaw and then pressed a hard kiss to the sensitive spot just under my jaw bone.
“Yeah, babe. I really want to talk, too.” He lifted his head, his eyes eating me alive as he stepped to the side and helped me into the car. “Just smack me in the face if I don’t let you do any talking, though, okay? I don’t quite trust myself alone with you right now.”
I grinned. “I don’t trust myself either, Jace, but we really should talk first.”
He nodded and closed the door before running around to climb into the driver’s seat. Watching him, I couldn’t help but notice his hands actually shake as he started the car and put it in gear. “Talk,” he muttered to himself as he pulled into traffic. “Just talk.”
I didn’t reply as he made the short drive to his apartment building. It was a nice area with some high-grade security. He used a keycard to open the gates to the garage and then had to use it again to call for the elevator once we were parked. We had to walk through the lobby to get to another set of elevators and passed two security guards on the way.
Finally in the second elevator, he used his keycard to unlock the floor to his apartment and then pulled me into his heat. With a contented sigh I went willingly. His head lowered, but he only buried his face in my neck and inhaled deeply as if trying to breathe all of me in. I leaned in to him more, wanting to soak all of him in just as he was me.
When the elevator stopped, neither of us moved right away. We were too happy to stay the way we were, wrapped around each other so tightly neither of us dared to let go for fear of losing a part of ourselves.
Someone cleared their throat and our heads shot around to see Gray standing with a hand on the doors as he watched us with a mixture of amusement and disgust on his face. “You two gonna fuck in the elevator? If so, can you wait until I’m gone first?”
Jace muttered a vicious curse, took my hand and pushed his way past his roommate. Gray chuckled as he stepped on to the elevator. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t,” he called after Jace as we reached their apartment door. “On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t.”
I rolled my eyes at him over my shoulder just as the elevator doors closed. Gray winked and waved his fingers in a way that would have been seductive to anyone else. I, however, was completely immune to Gray Knight.
“Thank fuck we’ll be alone.” Jace opened the door and tugged me inside with him, turning on lights as he led the way into the living room. “I didn’t want to
talk with him around.”
“Me either.” Gray was so fucking annoying. I didn’t understand how Kassa could put up with his ass the way she did, but she was the only one who seemed to understand him. I was pretty sure Jace’s sister needed her head examined.
Still holding on to my hand, Jace sat on the couch and pulled me down beside him. Sitting that close to him, with my left side plastered to his right, I found it hard to remember what I had even wanted to talk about. Jace put our joined hands on his thigh, turned his palm over and started tracing his fingertip over my life line.
“Does your father know you’re going to be out late?”
I shrugged. “I doubt he knows anything that goes on under his roof. He went back to Canada two days ago to shoot the rest of his movie. I told Carolina to tell her mother I was going to be staying with Lucy, though, so she won’t be expecting me.”
“Shit,” he breathed and dropped his head back on the couch. “Wish you hadn’t said that, babe.”
“Why?”
“You’re not expected. That means I can keep you here all fucking night.” He slowly lifted his head and met my gaze. “Do you want to stay?”
“I was hoping to…” I bit the inside of my bottom lip to keep from revealing all the things I had been hoping for that night. If I told him I was hoping to spend the entire night, in his bed, there would be absolutely no talking taking place.
He jerked to his feet and was across the room in a flash. I blinked up at him, confused by the sudden distance between us.
“Talk, Kin. Let’s talk. Now, before I lose sight of all the reasons why talking is a must.”
“Oh.” I swallowed hard, feeling shy for the first time around this guy. “Well…”
Seeing that I was having trouble, he thrust his hands into his jeans pockets. “Do you forgive me, Kin?”