“I’ll have a ginger ale, please.”
My head shot up at Lucy’s voice and I realized a waitress was standing beside Harris. “Beer,” he told the girl.
“Right, boss, I’ll get it for you.” Her gaze went past me and straight to Jace. The look on her face told me that she had most likely been a hookup at some point.
Was she a regular?
Ugh. Stop it, Kin. You don’t care.
You aren’t supposed to care.
I fucking cared.
“Same, Wendy,” he told her without giving her a second glance.
Disappointment shadowed her eyes as she turned them on me, and then they grew cooler. “And you?”
I nearly rolled my eyes. Really? She was jealous of me? I wanted to laugh but just smirked instead. I figured smirking was safer than jumping up and scratching up her pretty face. Right? “I can get my own drink when I get thirsty, thanks.”
Lucy turned her head to me as the waitress walked away. “I thought you were thirsty?”
I shrugged. “From the frostbite I nearly got from Jace’s castoff, I’m pretty sure she would’ve spit in it. I’ll just take a drink of yours.”
Brown eyes widened. “If she did that, Harris would fire her on the spot.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m good for now.” I gave her a sassy wink that had her grin returning and I turned my attention back to my phone.
Jace shifted beside me, his fingers wrapping around a few strands of my hair that were on the back of the couch. “She isn’t a castoff,” he muttered.
I shrugged but didn’t look up from my phone, pretending like I didn’t care. “Sure she isn’t.”
“Kin, I swear on Kassa’s life, I don’t hook up with chicks that work at the club.”
I lifted my eyes then. Kassa was the most important person in Jace’s life. He would kill for her, so I knew that he wouldn’t swear on her life for a lie. “Okay,” I told him. “But she wants to be a castoff. Maybe you should take her up on the offer.”
“Maybe you should start returning my calls and texts,” he shot back, leaning closer. “I just want to talk, Kin.”
“I don’t think we have anything to talk about,” I assured him. “It’s all in the past now, anyway. I’ve moved on from it.” Lie. Such a huge lie. “I’m pretty sure you’ve already moved on, too. You just don’t want to admit it to yourself.”
His strong jaw clenched. “I don’t want to move on. I want you.”
My heart stuttered in my chest, but I forced my face to remain impassive. “You had me, Jace. Our story is already over, minus the happy-ever-after. I’m okay with that. Since you were the one who walked away without a backward glance, you should be okay with it too.”
The fingers he’d tangled in my hair tightened, tugging my head back ever so slightly so I was forced to meet his gaze head on. “I’ve looked back a million times, baby. Each and every day I’ve thought about you, hated myself for leaving you the way I did. Don’t think it was easy for me, Kin, because it sure as hell wasn’t.”
Lifting my hand, I pulled my hair free from his grasp and stood. “I’m thirsty after all,” I told Lucy. “I’ll be back.”
As soon as I was out of sight of the other three, I closed my eyes and sucked in a few deep breaths. He didn’t get to say things like that. That wasn’t fair. Jace St. Charles shouldn’t still have the power to slice me open with just a few words and leave me bleeding to death from the gaping wound. That he still could, that my heart was still racing after hearing words it had longed to hear for so damn long, only pissed me off.
I marched over to the bar. The place was overcrowded with a mixture of people in and out of costume. I pushed my way between a guy in a suit and some dude dressed like Dracula. I felt both of them eyeing me, but ignored them as Nate turned from handing over a beer to a sexy angel at the end of the bar.
There had been people waiting longer, but as soon as he saw me he set a glass of ginger ale in front of me. I wished it were a shot of tequila or Jameson, but I took the glass gratefully and took a thirsty swallow before reaching into one of my cop belt pockets and pulling out a tip for him. Nate knew I was with Lucy and he never made us pay for drinks. Harris probably would have lost his shit if the bartender did.
Nate took the five I offered, tossed it into the jar behind the bar that was already overflowing with tips, then turned back to face me. Leaning his arms on the bar-top, he let his eyes drift over me for a moment. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the way he looked at me. It was nice to have a guy look at me with that mixture of lust and appreciation, but without being all creepy about it.
If only Nate could make me feel half of what Jace did, I thought with a sigh as I leaned forward until there were only a few inches between us. “Hi,” I murmured. “Nice costume.”
He was dressed like a male stripper with just a pair of dress pants on and a bowtie around his neck. Which explained why his tip jar was overflowing even more than normal with large bills that would probably pay his rent for three months. Who wouldn’t willingly hand over a fifty or a hundred to see what Nate hid under his shirt? All those yummy muscles flexing as he moved around was enough to get anyone’s heart rate up.
He smirked. “Back at ya, babe.”
I blew out a frustrated breath and shook my head at the sexy bartender. “If only, Nate. If only.”
Nate winked. “Again, babe. Back at ya.” He tapped me on the nose with a long finger and then headed off to fill more orders.
I stood there, drinking my ginger ale until it was nearly half gone, continuing to ignore the two creeps I was standing between. I wasn’t interested, not even a little. I was off guys forever.
Nate refilled my glass before I returned to Lucy. Instead of sitting between her and Jace, I asked Marcus to pull a chair over for me and I ignored Jace for the rest of the night. By the time we left, I was exhausted from working so hard to ignore him, but Lucy was smiling so the night wasn’t a complete loss.
By the time I got back to my father’s house it was after midnight, but I wasn’t expecting anyone to be there. The house was dark as I made my way upstairs and pulled off my clothes before climbing under the covers. I should wash my face and brush my teeth, but I just wanted to stay under the blankets and hide.
My phone chimed with an incoming text and I reluctantly reached for it. The message was still lighting up the screen when I looked down at it.
Miss you!
I felt tears burn my eyes as I opened up the messenger and sent back a quick reply. Miss you too, Ang. Love you.
I started to put the phone on my nightstand when it chimed again. Dashing my tears away with my fingertips, I glanced at it again.
I’m sorry.
More tears blurred my vision as I turned the phone off and put it into the top drawer of the nightstand without replying to Jace’s message. He was sorry. I got that. He’d told me plenty of times in his many messages and texts.
It didn’t make my hurt and the lingering pain any better. Why couldn’t he realize that?
Chapter 10
Jace
Kassa didn’t come out for Thanksgiving. It was something that had both me and Gray in a piss-poor mood. I’d been looking forward to seeing my little sister, but she had a bad stomach virus and couldn’t make the trip. Gray, who I was sure was looking forward to having my sister around just as much as I was—if not more—had gotten quiet during the week of Thanksgiving and hadn’t been himself during that entire time.
Between that and the scene I’d had with Lucy Thornton the week before at First Bass, I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. Didn’t want to see them. Didn’t want to so much as hear them fucking breathe.
Lucy hadn’t been happy with me when I’d started chatting up one of the loyal Tainted Knight groupies that we’d gotten from the first week we’d worked at First Bass. Honestly, I hadn’t been too happy with me either. Fucking hell, I’d just wanted a sign from Kin that she wasn’t turning into some damn ro
bot.
Something I’d gotten, but it had been at the expense of not only Kin’s feelings but nearly my life after what had followed.
The show had left me more pumped up than usual. Adrenaline was rushing through my blood making me high from the way the entire club had been chanting the band’s name. Maybe it was because Kin had been standing front and center with Lucy and I’d felt her eyes on me during the entire show. Maybe it was because I was so excited for Kassa to get to town and spend some time with her after not seeing her for so many months.
Either way, I was hyped up more than usual after the show. Gray, Kale, Sin, and Cash bailed not long after the last song. I figured they were going to go hang at my apartment with Gray or find a hookup for the night. What I was feeling had been contagious for the other four Tainted Knight guys and they had been practically humming with the energy pouring off of them.
I’d found Kin and Lucy already up on the VIP floor, already laughing with Harris who was sitting so close to Lucy she might was well have been on his lap. As soon as I sat down on the arm of the leather couch beside Kin, however, she lost her grin and her laughter had faded into a cool glare.
She was still pissed at me. I wasn’t blind to the fact that she was holding on to her anger at me like a shield. I had no clue what was going on in her life outside of what I saw when she came to First Bass, but from the emptiness in her big blue eyes I could guess things weren’t good at home for her. I wanted to pull her into my arms, hold her close like I used to do when life seemed to be throwing curve balls at her.
Knowing that doing that would probably get me a knee to the balls, or one of her deadly right hooks to the jaw, I didn’t reach for her. I was trying to be patient, but, fuck, a guy could only take so much before the coldness thrown his way started causing frostbite. So, instead of sending the groupie who had approached me not even five minutes after I’d sat down on her way, I wrapped an arm around her waist and waited to see if Kin still cared even a fraction of the way she once had.
As soon as the groupie had leaned in to whisper in my ear—what, I couldn’t say because I wasn’t even paying attention to the chick—I’d felt Kin tense beside me. I’d shot her a quick glance over my shoulder to see the expression on her face, but she wasn’t even looking at me right then.
Clenching my jaw, I’d turned back to the chick in my arms and let my lips skim over hers. The kiss had been short, but the chick had been instantly affected. I’d heard her indrawn breath, felt the way she’d pressed her chest harder against my own. Her manicured nails had thrust into my hair, holding me against her longer than I had originally planned. I hadn’t stopped her, though. I’d let her lead the kiss, giving her everything she was silently pleading for, but my mind wasn’t on the kiss.
It was on Kin. I hoped her heart was stinging right then. I hoped she got so jealous she ripped the chick’s hair out as she pulled her away from me. Fuck, I hoped she punched me in the face and told me to go to hell. I wanted all of those reaction and more. If she did that then I knew she wasn’t immune to me like she continued to tell me she was.
None of those things happened.
An ice cold drink was poured over my head, at least half of it hitting the chick I was kissing. Jerking up, I took in what was happening within a few seconds. Lucy had emptied her glass of ginger ale over me and the chick…
And Kin was gone.
Harris groaned loudly and snatched the cup from Lucy’s hands as she glared down at me like she was about to rip me a new one. That Kin was gone cut like a knife and I wanted to scream in frustration. Had she bailed? Was she bored with what I was doing…
Or had she left because she couldn’t stand to see me kissing someone else?
I didn’t know, and that just pissed me off. I jumped to my feet. “Fucking hell, Lucy. What is your problem?” I took a step closer to her, but before I could get so much as an inch closer to the girl, Harris was suddenly standing between us.
The look in my friend’s eyes was something I had never seen before. Rage was rolling off him in waves, his fists balled at his sides as his wild eyes met mine. “You don’t talk to her like that. Ever.” Harris’s voice had been low, but no less full of fury. He was practically shaking with reaction. “I will fuck you up fast if you touch her.”
Some of my own anger faded as I wiped ginger ale out of my face. “Whoa, bro,” I said, trying to calm him down. “I wasn’t going to touch her. I don’t hit chicks.”
I’d never raised my hand to a female in my life. Not only because I knew Alicia would have kicked my ass and then dropped me into the best military school in the country, but also because of Kassa. I would never show her what kind of evil pricks there were in the world. Our old man had liked to hit our mother and even me when I wasn’t fast enough to find a good hiding place. I’d made sure Kassa was never hit, though. Even as a kid I probably would have killed the sonofabitch if he had tried to touch my baby sister in any way.
Lucy calmed down instantly at the sight of Harris’s rage. She reached for his hand, trying to turn him to face her. “Harris, relax.”
His eyes locked on mine, which led to an intense stare down. Fuck. Harris knew I would never raise a hand toward any chick, especially not his Lucy. The stare down went on and on and I was starting to realize that I was probably about to have an actual brawl with the guy who was one of my closest friends. Hell, my only friend. I didn’t want to fight him, but if I had to, I wouldn’t back down.
Lucy, having no luck grabbing Harris’s attention, suddenly pushed her way between the two of us. It was weird seeing the girl who was barely five foot five standing in front of the beast that was Harris Cutter. Harris stood at least a foot taller than her, with the top of her head barely reaching his shoulders. She looked so small standing there in front of him, the lamb trying to calm the lion.
She cupped his face in her hands and stood on tiptoes to attempt to bring them to the same eye level. There were still a handful of inches keeping that from happening though. “Hey, hey,” she said, keeping her voice soft and calm, but loud enough to be heard over the music and the crowd that was upstairs with us. “Harris? Hey, come on. Look at me.”
Harris only tensed even more at her touch and all thoughts of worrying if I was going to have to fight my friend flew out the window at the thought that with him that pissed he could hurt Lucy by mistake. “Lucy,” I said, touching her arm, “maybe you shouldn’t stand so close to him like this. He’s shaking he’s so pissed.”
Harris moved so quick I didn’t immediately react. He reached past Lucy, pushing me back with one arm while the other wrapped around Lucy’s waist and pulled her against him like he was never going to let her go. “Don’t fucking touch her,” he roared.
“Dude, what the fuck?” I growled when I’d righted myself. “I was just trying to get her out of the way in case you turned into the Incredible Hulk on her. Chill out. I was just looking out for her.” I stabbed my fingers through my hair, noticing that it was still soaked with the soda, and already sticky as hell. Fed up, I shook my head at him. “Fuck this shit. I’m going home, man. Call me when your brain starts working again.”
I left—without the groupie who had been all over me earlier—and went straight home. After a long shower where I had to wash my hair twice just to get all the stickiness out, I fell into bed with my phone already out. Like the fucker who was such a glutton for punishment, I pulled up Kin’s contact info and tried to call her.
It went straight to voice mail after only one ring. Gritting my teeth, I dropped my hand and glared at the ceiling. At least she hadn’t blocked my number. Something I had expected her to do weeks ago with the way I called her so often. If she really wanted nothing to do with me, wouldn’t she have blocked me a long time ago?
That thought put a small grin on my face and it was still there when I rolled over onto my stomach and fell asleep.
That had been four weeks ago. She hadn’t returned any of my calls during that time, and I’d bare
ly seen her but she still hadn’t blocked my number. And it was taking her longer and longer to send me to her voice mail lately. A rational guy would have given up by now, I was sure, but I couldn’t let her go. The more she avoided me the more I realized what an ass I’d been and I was desperate to get that girl back.
It was Wednesday and I figured it was the only chance I would have that week to see her, so I got my ass out of bed and into the shower. I wasn’t going to waste a chance to spend a few hours with Kin, even if all she did was ignore me like she normally did.
I was grabbing my keys when my phone started going off and I quickly pulled the phone out of my jeans pocket. “Kassa?”
“Hey,” she greeted, but there was something in her voice that told me my sister wasn’t her normal self. That had me pausing with my hand on the door.
“What’s wrong?” I demanded, fear lacing my voice. Alicia was supposed to have her scan the week before and I knew that she was waiting on the results. Had they come back?
“Nothing,” Kassa started, but I made a disbelieving noise that had her blowing out a sigh. “I’m just lonely, Jace. I miss you and Gray. Alicia seems to be working even more lately even though the doctor told her to take it easy.” I heard a quiver in her voice and my gut twisted. “I hate being alone all the time.”
“Christmas is only a few weeks away, Kas. You could fly out here,” I tried to convince her but knew that wasn’t what she really needed. Kassa had always had me and Gray to comfort her, we had always been there when she needed a pair of arms to hug her if she was having a bad day. We’d always been there to let her snuggle or cuddle. My sister wasn’t a needy chick, but she had never had to be because between me and Gray, we’d always been just a step behind her to offer her the support she needed.
Now, we were on the other side of the country and she was left alone the majority of the time. Phone calls and FaceTime didn’t make up for warm hugs.