His hands slid slowly down my back as he grabbed my ass, pushing me against his erection and kissing me hard. He sucked my bottom lip before releasing it slowly. “Last chance to stop me.”
“Make every second count,” I said in between kisses. “For the next hour, my body is yours, Banks.”
“I’ve only waited a decade to hear you say that.”
That was where the conversation ended. Justin pressed his rock hard chest into me, pushing me into the window. My back was against the glass as he began to kiss me so hard that my lips hurt from the suction. My hands took on a mind of their own, eager to explore him. I threaded my fingers through his hair, rubbed my palms down his chest, gripped his ass. Overwhelmed, I wished I could touch every single part of him at once.
“It’s going to be a while before we get to do this again. We need to make it last,” he said as he fisted my hair and bent my head back. He kissed down my neck slowly. “Don’t ever forget that I respect the hell out of you,” he said as he stuck his hand up my dress and grabbed onto my panties.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I’m about to fuck you full of disrespect.” He ripped my underwear off, the elastic burning my thighs from the friction.
My pussy was already wet and ready for whatever he had in mind. Whereas before he had gently kissed down my throat, now he was sucking hard on the skin at the base of my neck. I felt two of his fingers slip inside of my opening. His mouth stilled on my neck the moment that they were fully deep inside me. He said something unintelligible as he shook his head slowly in ecstasy before suddenly flipping me around so that I was facing the glass.
He pulled his fingers out and almost immediately I felt the burn of his cock replacing them as he sunk into me. “Fuck,” he muttered.
I hadn’t expected him to take me so soon. From the sound he let out when he was all the way inside of me, I don’t think even he expected to lose control so fast.
It felt painfully pleasurable as my skin stretched to open for him. Justin’s cock was thick. I’d always admired its girth, but it was another experience altogether to actually feel how completely he filled me—skin to skin. He hadn’t put a condom on, which surprised me. I was too weak to question it, enjoying the raw sensation too much to think about anything else. But I’d come prepared.
“Please tell me you’re on the pill. I’ve never done it like this before, but I don’t think I can stop either way. It feels too damn good.”
I’d never seem him lose control like this.
“I am. I just started taking it. Don’t worry.”
“Thank fuck.” His muscles seemed to relax.
As he moved in and out of me, he lifted my dress over my head before throwing the frock aside. There was something so sexy about being completely naked while he was still fully clothed. His pants were hanging halfway down his legs, and his belt buckle clanked as he pounded into me.
I could see our reflection in the window. He was looking down at my ass the entire time, mesmerized as he watched our bodies joined together. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of it. His palm was firmly planted on my ass cheek to guide the movements of his thrusts, his nails inadvertently digging into my skin.
He began to suck on his finger, and before I could wonder what he was doing, I felt it inside of my ass as he continued to penetrate me with his cock at the same time. No one had ever done that to me before, and while his finger there felt foreign, the pleasure derived from the double penetration was incredible.
He pushed it inside slowly until it was all the way in. I let out a long breath.
“You like that, huh? When we have more time, we’ll try it the other way around. I want to fuck that ass so badly. But we need time for that.”
I simply moaned in agreement, too turned on by what he was doing to form words.
He pulled his finger out. He was now holding onto my ass with both hands, spreading it apart with his thumbs as he fucked me harder and faster.
“I love the way your ass jiggles when I’m pounding into it.” He slapped me. “Fucking beautiful.”
My muscles tightened every time he’d open his mouth. I’d always loved to be talked to during sex, but his dirty, gravelly voice was the sexiest I’d ever heard. Every single time he’d speak, my muscles would spasm.
“Tighten against my cock like that again.”
I clenched around him.
“Fuck. That feels good,” he growled. “I want you to do that when I’m coming inside you.”
I wanted him to spank me again. I never imagined the pressure of his hand would feel so good; but it did.
What was happening to me?
My voice was throaty when I said, “Slap my ass again.”
He obliged, and when he struck me this time, the sting of his hand was perfect.
Everything about this experience was unlike anything I’d ever felt before from the skin to skin contact, to the forceful way he fucked me. He’d broken through a barrier of pleasure that I didn’t know I was capable of feeling. I didn’t know how I was going to live without this now that I knew what it was like.
I could feel his body trembling at my back. “I need to come. Tell me when you’re close,” he said into my ear.
I watched his face in the reflection and now, instead of looking down, he was looking straight at my face.
“I’m coming,” I said as I tightened my muscles like he’d wanted.
“Fuck. Oh God, Amelia. That feels…oh shit…I’m coming,” he groaned out then muttered low,” Yeah, baby. I’m coming. So good. So fucking good.”
Warm cum filled me as I continued to squeeze around his cock. Justin stayed inside of me, fucking me slowly long after he came, kissing my back softly.
“Shit. I don’t know what that is that you do when you tense your pussy around me, but I’m going to be jerking off to it for the next four months.”
“What was that we just did?” I asked facetiously. “That didn’t feel like just sex. That was far too incredible.”
“That was a decade’s worth of frustration barreling out of me, baby.”
“You’re so good, Justin. It was worth the wait.”
He slowly pulled out of me and turned me around, planting a firm kiss on my lips. “We have forty minutes.”
“What are we gonna do?”
“I need you again.”
My eyes widened. “Can you go again so soon?”
“With you? I could go all night. No one’s ever made me lose control like that. That’s how it should feel every single damn time, like it’s all that matters in the world. I couldn’t give a shit if the world is crumbling around me when I’m inside of you.”
We smiled at each other, and the streetlights from outside shined into his beautiful blue eyes. Forty minutes wasn’t long enough. To squelch the dread creeping in, I took off his shirt and began to kiss his chest softly.
“This time is gonna be different, okay?” he said.
I simply nodded, anxiously awaiting his direction. He stripped out of his underwear, and I could see his dick was still gloriously hard, glistening with arousal.
“Lie down, Amelia.”
Admiring his chiseled body, I lay on the bed and backed up against the headboard.
When he turned on the small desk lamp, I asked, “What are you doing?”
“I want to look at you for a while. Is that okay?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Spread your legs apart,” he demanded.
Justin kneeled at the foot of the bed as he took in the sight of me.
“So sexy…seeing you wide open like that with my cum dripping out of you. Fuck, Amelia,” he breathed out as he started to jerk himself off. He looked down at his engorged shaft. “I’m ready to go again. This is fucking crazy.”
“We don’t have a lot of time. I need you inside of me again.”
“Touch yourself for a little bit.”
I positioned my fingertips at my clit and began to circle them around. The
room was so quiet except for the slick sound of his cock moving against his hand.
“Open wider, Amelia.”
Spreading my knees further apart, I had to curb the need to come.
“You ready?” he asked.
“Yes,” I whispered.
This time when he sunk into me, it was slow and controlled. He stopped when he was fully inside and just stayed there without moving for a while.
“How the fuck am I going to be able to leave you after this?”
When he picked up the pace again, it felt better than ever, not only because of the pressure of his weight on top of me but because we were both fully naked, our skin rubbing together. The room was cold, but the heat of his body warmed me.
I held onto his ass, pushing him deeper into me as he circled his hips. His breathing matched the rhythm of his movements. When my orgasm suddenly rolled through me, he must have been able to feel it, because he also came without warning, grunting loudly in my ear. There was no sweeter sound that the noises he made when he came.
He collapsed over me and said, “Thank you for giving this to me. It’s the only thing that’s gonna get me through the rest of this time away.”
Looking at the time shown on my phone, I felt sick. We had ten minutes before we had to drive back to the bus. It was odd to feel sated and scared at the same time. He’d left my body completely satisfied, yet my heart was still yearning for more. It just wanted to hear those three words so desperately.
***
When we arrived to his bus, I gripped his black jacket, unable to let him go. After what we’d just done, my attachment to him was stronger than ever. It felt more impossible to let him go now than it ever had before.
“I want you to meet the crew before we leave.”
Although I wasn’t feeling very social, I said, “Okay.”
Justin brought me inside the bus. A bunch of guys were sitting around eating pieces of a gigantic apple pie that looked like it was from Costco. It smelled like a mixture of coffee and beer. Justin went down the line, introducing me to each crew member. They were all super nice and down to earth. I didn’t have a chance to meet Calvin Sprockett, since he was on the other bus.
A few minutes later, the one person I’d dreaded meeting the most finally made her appearance.
“Is everyone accounted for?” Olivia asked, holding a walkie talkie.
Justin looked at me and whispered, “That’s Olivia.”
He didn’t realize I’d already known what she looked like from my stalking. I was starting to feel nauseous, and it only got worse with each step she took toward us. With luxurious dark hair and a megawatt smile, she was even prettier than her pictures.
I fucking hated her.
“I see we have an extra passenger?” Olivia said.
Seeming to lose my ability to speak, I smiled like a fool without saying anything.
“Olivia, this is my girlfriend, Amelia,” Justin said.
Girlfriend.
The fear inside of me began to slowly evaporate. He hadn’t said the “L” word, but he’d finally given me the validation that I so desperately needed, especially now with him leaving again.
Olivia hadn’t seemed too surprised. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Amelia.”
“Likewise.” I smiled.
“Are you coming with us to Philly?” she asked.
“No. I have a baby girl at home, so I’m not able to travel.”
“That’s right. Justin showed me her picture.”
It further calmed me to know that he’d also spoken to her about Bea.
“Well, it was nice meeting you,” Olivia said before giving Justin a slight look of warning. “Buses are leaving in five.”
Waiting for her to get out of earshot, I said, “So, that’s Olivia…”
“Yep.”
“She sleeps on the other bus?”
“Yeah. The tour manager goes on the main bus.” He smiled, examining my expression and seeming amused at my transparent relief.
He nudged at my dress, and my nipples immediately perked up. “Let’s get you a jacket,” Justin said. “Then I’m gonna tell the driver to hold up while I accompany you to the car. I don’t want you walking alone.”
Justin retrieved one of his black hoodies and held it open for me. I zipped it up, loving the smell of his cologne that saturated it. He led me by the hand across the VIP lot to the regular parking area.
Justin gazed into my eyes as we stopped in front of my car. He held me tightly as he buried his nose in my hair. “You’re lucky we don’t have any more time. I’d take you right against this car.”
“I’d let you.”
“Thank you for tonight, Amelia. You were amazing. I’m gonna fucking miss you so much.”
I spoke against his chest. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah…”
“When did you decide I was your girlfriend?”
He looked up at the sky and hesitated as if he had to really ponder it. His answer wasn’t what I was expecting. “The matinee show of El Amor Duele at the little red theater circa 2005. I wasn’t even paying attention to the movie. You were really into it. I was really into you. You didn’t realize I was staring at you the whole time. You were so enthralled with the movie that you didn’t even notice that you’d finished your popcorn. You kept shoveling it into your mouth. Without your knowing, I replaced your empty bucket with my full one. You just kept eating. I decided at that moment that whether you knew it or not, you were my girlfriend. I kept telling myself…that after the show, I was finally gonna make you aware of that fact, too.”
“What happened?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I chickened out.” We both laughed and could see our breaths colliding in the cold air. Justin looked down at his phone. “Shit. They’re texting me to hurry up. I have to go.”
“Alright.”
He pulled me into him as tightly as he could and planted one final kiss on my lips. “I’m gonna miss you so much. Thank you again for coming.” He wriggled his brows. “And for coming again. And for letting me come.” As I giggled against his lips, he said, “You were so amazing.”
“Call me tomorrow.”
“Be careful driving home.”
“Okay.”
He lingered then said, “It’s never been that way for me, never felt that way with anyone else.”
I loved hearing that.
“Me neither.”
Our hands stayed intertwined until the pull of his walking away naturally ripped our fingers apart. Justin ran across the lot.
I got into my car and turned on the heat. I stayed idling until the two buses pulled out and disappeared from sight.
Later that night, I’d just arrived back at the beach house when my phone chimed with a text from Justin.
All that time I spent mad at you…I could have been fucking you. What a dumbass.
CHAPTER 20
The hardest days with Justin gone were those leading up to the holidays. This was going to be Bea’s first Christmas, and we’d be spending it without him.
Justin’s tour had made its way out West. He would be performing two shows in Los Angeles, one on Christmas Eve and one on Christmas Day, so there was no way that he could sneak any time away to come home. After those gigs, the band would only remain in the US for another week before flying to Europe where the tour would continue until they returned to America in the spring. It made me tired just thinking about all of the travelling he was doing.
I had to give Justin credit, though. He’d stuck to his word about Skyping every other day with us. As much as I looked forward to those chats, it was getting harder and harder to be away from him. As the days went on, so had the fresh memory of our time together in Massachusetts. The reassurance that night had given me was slowly being replaced by fear and insecurity again with each day that passed. While I trusted him more after we’d made love, he still hadn’t told me he loved me. In my mind, that meant that nothing was set in stone. Couple t
hat with the fact that he would be away for over a dozen more weeks, and that made for one paranoid girlfriend.
It was two days before Christmas. Bea and I were invited to an ugly sweater party over at Roger and Susan’s house. Justin had called earlier to say they’d just arrived in California. I was grateful for the distraction that the party would bring. At least for a couple of hours, it would prevent me from sulking in front of the Christmas tree at the beach house.
I’d gone to a local thrift store and bought a hideous red sweater with little Christmas bulbs sewn onto the front. I’d even managed to find an ugly Christmas sweater onesie online for Bea. So, we were all ready for the festivities.
The temperature was frigid as I bundled Bea up and ran across to the neighbors’ house which was lit up in multi-colored lights. An inflatable snowman blew in the wind out front. Living near the water in the middle of winter was less than ideal.
Carrying some freshly-baked sugar cookies, I knocked on their door with my foot, since I had no extra hands.
Roger opened the door. “Amelia, you made it! Susan wasn’t sure if you were coming.”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” I said, handing him the plate of cookies. “Is Susan in the kitchen?”
“She is. You’re the first one here.”
“Figures.” I grinned. “I have the shortest commute.”
Just as I was about to head to see Susan, Roger’s voice stopped me. “Hey, Amelia?”
“Yes?”
“Since Susan’s been back, we really haven’t had a chance to talk. I’ve always felt a little strange about not telling you myself about us getting back together.”