“What are you asking me for?”
“You got out.” Dare looked at me. “We all know about you, because he talks about you all the time. Even when he thought you were dead, he kept talking about you. We’ve heard about everything you’ve ever done, because you’re the one that got away—you’re the one that was his, and stopped belonging to him. And I want to know how you did it. Because we’re gonna do it, too.”
She was serious. I stared at her. Damn. Finally, quietly, I said, “I’ll do what I can to help you. If there’s anything I can do. Believe me. There’s no right way to do it . . . but it can be done, and if I can help you, I will.”
The look she gave me was radiant, full of gratitude and awe. I winced, trying to keep my dismay from showing on my face. The lingering taste of roses helped—it gave me something that I could focus on other than the look in her eyes. I’ve never liked being looked at like I was a hero. I always wind up letting someone down. Sometimes I get lucky. Sometimes the only person who gets hurt is me.
TWENTY
DEVIN LOOKED UP WHEN his door opened and smiled. He was alone—Manuel had vanished on some unknown errand—and his expression was somewhere between smug and exhausted. Smug was winning. It probably had seniority. “I see Dare found you.”
“I hadn’t gone far,” I said. “I got sort of distracted by my reflection.” Dare slipped in behind me, finding a place along the wall.
“Surprise.”
“Yeah. Big surprise.” I shook my head. “What did you do?”
“It was bad, Toby.” He walked over to me, expression grave. There were shadows lurking in his eyes, making it plain that the past few days had used him almost as hard as they’d used me. “We didn’t think you were going to make it. I didn’t think you were going to make it.”
“So what did you do?”
“I fixed it.”
“Devin, half those wounds were made with iron. You don’t have any charms that strong.” I didn’t think there were charms that strong anywhere in the world.
He shrugged, trying to look unconcerned as he reached for my hands. I pulled them away. “I called in some favors. That’s all.”
“Who could possibly have owed you enough that they’d cure iron poisoning just because you asked them to?” And who could possibly have had that much power? I was intruding on his personal matters. That was unforgivably rude of me, but it had to be done, because I had to know what his actions were going to cost. I had to know if it was more than I could pay.
Devin reached for my hands again. This time I let him take them. “The Luidaeg.”
Dare gasped.
“What?” I stared at him. I’d been expecting him to say something I didn’t want to hear, but this went beyond my worst imaginings. “You went to her?”
“She owed me for past favors. I collected on the debt.”
“Devin, that’s insane! You—she’s a monster, she’s practically a demon! She’s—”
“Not in my debt anymore,” he finished. “That was worth a lot more to her than your life. She doesn’t like debts. She was so relieved when I said we were square that I’m surprised she didn’t make you ten years younger and give you a dinette set when she finished healing you.”
“So you ransomed my life from the Luidaeg?” I still couldn’t believe it. Maybe I didn’t want to.
Devin looked past me, seeming to see Dare for the first time. “You’re excused. Wait in the front until I call with new orders.”
Dare looked surprised, then nodded, replying, “Yes, sir,” before she turned and skittered out of the room. I turned to watch her go.
“Toby.”
Devin released my hands when I looked back toward him, taking hold of the sides of my face instead, and kissing me deeply. I caught hold of his wrists, returning the kiss for a few seconds before I pulled his hands away. Heart pounding and breath short, I managed, “You shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t have gone to her.”
“I had to.”
“What’s it going to cost me?”
“It’s a gift.”
“A gift.”
Hearing the disbelief in my tone, Devin frowned. “Yes, a gift. Is that so hard to believe?”
This time, when he kissed me, I resisted less, letting him pull me close before I broke away and said, “You’ve never given away anything in your life. Everything goes on someone’s bill.”
“Things change.” He kissed the side of my jaw. “People change. I’ve changed.”
“That much?”
“Maybe,” he said, and pulled back enough to look at me. There was something in his eyes I couldn’t identify, some weird blend of love and fear and gnawing need. “I thought you were dead, Toby. Do you understand that? Have you fully grasped how close you came? I don’t think you have.”
“Devin . . .”
“You’d almost stopped bleeding by the time they brought you here, because you had no blood left to lose. You were leaving me. You were leaving me again, and this time, you weren’t coming back. There was no way I was letting that happen, Toby. Not if there was something I could do to stop it.” He almost smiled, stroking his fingers down the sides of my face. “I couldn’t let you leave me yet. You just came Home.”
If I’d actually lost that much blood, he was probably right. Nothing short of divine intervention could have saved me. “So you went to the Luidaeg,” I said, again. If I said it enough times, maybe his reply would change.
“I did. And I’d do it again.”
“Devin, I . . .”
“Don’t.” We’d been careful before, both of us aware of my injuries and how poor my condition really was. There was no caution now, as he abandoned all efforts at gentleness, pulled me close, and kissed me hard. When he broke away, he whispered, “Just don’t. You can’t thank me and I wouldn’t let you if you tried, so let’s leave it at this: I won’t let you die. I’m not finished with you. You have something I need too much for that.”
His hands were sliding lower and lower on my sides, now cupping the curve of my hips. I put my own hands over them, and shook my head. “There isn’t time for this, Devin,” I said, regret coloring my voice. “I have to call Sylvester and let him know that I’m all right, and then I need to go. It’s not finished.”
“You don’t need to call Sylvester,” said Devin, with a little smile. “I’m not entirely thoughtless. I called him while you were still recovering.”
I blinked. “You did?”
“Yes. Which he promptly rewarded by accusing me of being the one who got you injured in the first place.” Devin’s smile turned wry. “He doesn’t care for me much, does he?”
That sounded like Sylvester. I relaxed, shrugging. “He thinks you’ll lure me away from him.”
Devin raised an eyebrow. “And will I?”
“The possibility exists. For now . . . where, exactly, are my clothes?”
“Your closet? That seems like a reasonable location.”
“You brought me here without bringing anything for me to wear?”
“The kids were a little too busy keeping you alive to stop for dainties, Toby. Besides, that nightgown looks good on you.”
“It makes me look like an underpaid hooker.”
Smirking, Devin said, “Well, as I was saying . . .”
“Devin!” I stepped backward, out of his hands, and shook my head. “Is there anything else I can wear? I’m not going out dressed like this.”
“As I’ve failed to convince you not to go out at all, I suppose I’ll have to provide assistance.” Devin walked over to his desk, pressing the button for the intercom. “Dare, get Ms. Daye’s things and bring them to my office.” He looked back to me as he released the button. “I’m afraid that puts an end to our privacy. She’ll be here quickly. Kids are always in such a hurry.”
“Well, you do teach us that we should never slow down if we can help it.”
“Can you blame me? Changeling years are short ones.” He spread his hands. “We have t
o use them wisely, while we still can.”
“I guess.” I paused, looking at him. “I always thought it was a lot of time. I mean, we can live for centuries. If we don’t go around getting shot at, anyway.”
“It may be a lot of time, but it’s short time.” He leaned back against his desk, offering me his arm. I walked over, leaning up against him, letting him wrap that arm around my waist. “It’s very short time. It runs out.”
I tilted my head back, still watching him. “So you teach us how to use it up?”
“Better than watching it dwindle. We have to burn brightly. We can’t burn forever.”
I frowned. “Now you’re starting to worry me.”
“Don’t be worried; there’s nothing to worry about.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You have a job to do, don’t you? Have you found any leads?”
“Rayseline Torquill. She laughed.”
“What?”
“It’s not important.” I shook my head. “It wasn’t Simon, or Oleander, convenient as that would be; I’d know their work anywhere, and this wasn’t it. The Queen didn’t react rationally to the news, so it could have been someone at her Court.” I paused. “And it wasn’t Blind Michael.”
“How do you know that?”
“There was a body.”
Devin grimaced. “Where are you going to go next?”
The taste of roses clung to my tongue like sugar, giving me all the direction I needed. “Goldengreen.”
He blinked. “Evening’s knowe?”
“There may be answers there.”
“Isn’t that dangerous?”
“At this point anything I do is going to be dangerous. Whoever started this has already tried to kill me twice. I can’t exactly stop now.” I paused. “They killed a man. One of Lily’s. He was just a kid, and now he’s dead, and I couldn’t save him.”
“I know about Ross,” he said. There was an odd blankness in his eyes. Before I could really consider what it meant, he continued, “You’re taking Manuel and Dare.”
That was enough to shock me into protest, forgetting about the look on his face. “What? No way! They’d just be in the way. No.”
“You came to me for help, and that’s what I’m giving you. They’re going with you.”
“Devin, this is—”
“You’re paying me to help you, remember?” There was a sudden, brittle edge to his voice. I froze, eyes going wide.
“Devin . . .”
“Answer the question.”
“You know I am.”
“Then let me do my job. They’re going with you.” He pulled his arm away from my waist. “I’m not letting you out of here alone. Not after what’s happened already.”
“I’m not responsible if they get hurt.”
“Of course not.”
“I don’t like this.”
“I didn’t expect you to.”
“You’re being an idiot,” I said flatly.
“Maybe so, but it stands a chance of keeping you alive.” He flashed a grin, which faded as quickly as it came. “This isn’t for everyone, Toby. This world . . . maybe you shouldn’t have come back. I’m glad you did. But maybe it was wrong.”
This time, I was the one to lean in, kissing him as gently as I could. When I pulled away he was staring at me, surprised. “I chose this. Maybe I shouldn’t have come. But I did.”
“Once one of my . . .” He chuckled. “You never really left me, did you?”
The door creaked open before I could think of an answer, admitting an anxious Dare. She was clutching a plastic bag to her chest like a shield. “Sir?”
I pulled away from Devin, straightening. “You can toss that over here, kid.” She darted a glance to Devin, who nodded, before pulling back and tossing me the bag. She had a good arm. Of course, considering the way she’d been flinging knives at my apartment, that wasn’t really a surprise.
Opening the bag, I found a pair of jeans, my running shoes, and a wine-red cotton blouse, which was probably a good choice, considering all the bleeding I’d been doing. A smaller bag held underclothes, athletic bandages, and another cell phone. I gave Devin a curious look.
He shrugged. “You’re creative and accident-prone. You’ll find a use for them.”
“I didn’t mean the bandages.”
“That’s the trouble with miniaturizing technology. It gets easier and easier to lose. Of course, losing it gets easier when you lose the entire car.”
“Where did all this come from, Devin?”
A pained expression crossed his face. “You were out for quite a while. I had plenty of time to send a few of the kids to your apartment for supplies. And no, they didn’t break anything the Doppelganger hadn’t already destroyed, although they did manage to convince the police to go away.” He smirked. “It seems someone called in a noise complaint on you.”
“Right,” I said. “I’ll go get dressed.”
“Pity.”
“Jerk.”
“Accurate.”
Grinning, feeling better than I had in months, I left the office and walked back to the bathroom.
Changing clothes in a public restroom is an acquired skill, one that becomes an art when the bathroom floor hasn’t been washed in a decade or more. I recognized some of those stains. Still, it wasn’t hard to shimmy out of the nightgown and into my jeans, and I felt much better once I was wearing real clothes. They weren’t much as armor goes, but they were all I had.
Shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans to tug them into place, I paused, my fingers striking metal. I grabbed hold and pulled out the key I’d taken from the rose goblin, frowning in confusion. Hadn’t it been in my other jeans? The ones I’d ruined by almost bleeding out on them?
It glittered in my hand, briefly taking on a hint of its prior luminescence. Evening’s last memories told me it was the key to Goldengreen; it needed to be kept safe. A brief flicker of blood-memory rose up, whispering that “safe” meant “secret.” I shoved the key back into my pocket, checking to be sure it was hidden before stuffing my borrowed nightgown into the plastic bag. It was a magic key. Maybe there was still something I needed to unlock.
When I returned to the office, Manuel and Dare were there, waiting. Dare had managed to find a heavy denim jacket that clanked when she moved; considering how many knives she’d been able to conceal without the coat, I decided I didn’t want to ask. Between that, the miniskirt and high heels, and the midriff-baring shirt that read PORN STAR IN TRAINING, she wasn’t exactly in the running for Miss Subtle USA.
Manuel was more sedately dressed. He’d tossed a windbreaker over his jersey and sweatpants, letting it hang loosely enough to imply that there might be something beneath it without shouting “Hey, I’m armed.” It wasn’t much better than his sister, but you work with what you have.
I walked past them, dropping the bag on Devin’s desk. “Good job with the clothes.”
“Not a problem. Here.” He tossed me a set of keys.
I caught them automatically, and frowned. “What’s this?”
“Were you planning to walk to Goldengreen?”
“Oh, no,” I said, realization dawning. “My car’s back at the bridge.”
“No, your car has been towed, stolen, or both. You’re taking one of mine.”
“Devin, I can’t—”
“You’re paying for it, remember?” He winked. “Don’t worry. I’m always open to a fair trade.”
“Good.” Not caring if the kids saw, I leaned over to kiss him again before heading for the door. “Come on, guys. We’re taking the car.”
“If you haven’t called by nightfall, I’ll send help,” Devin said, behind me now.
“Good idea,” I said, and left the office. The kids followed.
I paused at the front door, saying, “Disguises up.” The air filled with our magic, the sharpness of my copper blurring into Dare’s apples and Manuel’s cinnamon. Soon enough, the spells were cast, and three normal-looking people stepped out int
o the late December afternoon.
Manuel was silent until we were outside. Then he asked quietly, “Where are we going?”
Trust Devin’s kids not to ask until there was no turning back. He really did teach them—teach us—not to worry about consequences. “Goldengreen.”
“The knowe of the Winterrose?” asked Manuel, looking faintly horrified.
Dare, in contrast, just frowned. “Why are we going there?”
“Because if I knew her as well as I thought I did, there’ll be answers there.”
“And if there aren’t?”
I paused. “If there aren’t, we’ll find another way.” If they weren’t there, I was screwed, but there was no reason to tell them that. Devin was right: I was running on changeling time, and the progression of Evening’s curse meant that time was running out. Dead people don’t solve mysteries or pay their dues. If Goldengreen didn’t have what I needed, it was about to get a lot harder for me to pay my debts.
TWENTY-ONE
THE MORTAL-SIDE ENTRANCE TO Goldengreen is tucked behind the San Francisco Art Museum, right at the edge of the cliff that overlooks the sea. That always struck me as an ideal place for Evening’s knowe: isolated and urban at the same time, a thing of borders, like the city itself. It’s beautiful there. I’d wondered whether Evening personally oversaw the construction of the museum—after all, the doors connecting Goldengreen to the mortal world were probably older than the city. If she didn’t plan the construction, she at least influenced it. That woman had strings all over the city, tied in places so old that no one realized they were there. The mortal world was going to miss her. But not as much as I was.
Devin’s car was a battered Ford Taurus that handled better than my poor VW ever had. We pulled down the winding driveway to the employee parking lot, stopping behind a clump of eucalyptus trees. The museum was closed for the holidays, and there were no other cars.
I glanced in the rearview mirror. Manuel was looking out the window, hands folded in his lap, while Dare was filing her nails. They were ready and eager to help—after all, being ready and eager was better than facing Devin’s temper. With Evening’s curse pressing down more and more heavily, I was slowing down. They were probably exactly what I needed. And I really didn’t want to deal with them.