“I remember.” Gwendolyn picked up a piece of fruit and popped it into her mouth, much to my relief.
I raised an eyebrow at her.
“So now you trust me and the food I offer? Because the moth does?”
“No, I trust you because of everything you’ve gone through for me today.” Gwendolyn’s voice was soft and she looked down at the fruit as she spoke. “And I made a little promise to myself while I was trying to get out of that awful pool that I would listen to you from now on.” She looked up at me. “I was going to eat the food, even before the moth landed on it. I just wanted to apologize first for being so…so stubborn and mean about it earlier.”
“That is all right,” I said, taking one of her slim hands in mine. “I can understand why you feared to trust me.” I raised her hand to my lips and pressed a gentle kiss to her palm.
“Um…” Gwendolyn flushed and drew her hand away.
“I see,” I said softly. “You trust me in some things but not in all.”
“It’s just…it scares me how much…how much I’ve been feeling lately. For you, I mean.” She shrugged uncomfortably. “It’s dangerous.”
“For both of us, mon ange,” I murmured. “More than you know.”
She looked up at me quickly. “What is that supposed to mean?”
I shook my head. How could I tell her that in giving up one of my most powerful forms, I had also given up a piece of my evil? That I had given up a piece of that which made me me? I didn’t want her to feel worried or guilty so I simply picked up a piece of fruit and popped it in her mouth.
“Eat,” I said. “You must be starving.”
“Mmm…I am hungry enough to eat a bear,” she remarked after she swallowed.
“Really?” I raised an eyebrow. “Well, that can be arranged. I simply thought fruit and cheese would be more to your liking. But if you wish—”
“No, no!” She was laughing now, a genuine laugh that bubbled up from inside her and seemed to warm me even more than the fire. “It’s an expression,” she explained. “Something Grams says sometimes.”
“Oh, well…” I shrugged. “That’s fine. But just know that if you wish for something in particular to eat or drink, I can accommodate your request.”
“How do you do it, anyway?” she asked, taking a bite of cheese. “I mean, how can you make things to eat out of your own blood?”
“It is one of my powers—to be able to use the essence of what I am to make other things.”
“And what are you?” Gwendolyn asked quietly, taking another bite. “Why is your blood red, not black like all the other demons and creatures I’ve seen here? You said you weren’t always as you are now—what were you before, Laish?”
“That need not concern you,” I told her, looking away. “For I am not what I was before and I can never be again.”
“You sound sad about that,” she said softly. “Wistful, almost.”
“Do I?” It tried to laugh but the sound that came out was harsh and cynical. “I think you are reading too much into my words, Gwendolyn.”
“Am I?” She sounded thoughtful. “I don’t know about that.”
I didn’t like being put on the defensive—didn’t like being made to feel so many tender emotions when before I’d met her the strongest feeling I’d had was of everlasting boredom. She had come into my life and forced me to feel things—forced me to care. It was irritating in the extreme sometimes—especially since I still couldn’t figure out why I cared so much for her.
“You needn’t concern yourself with my past,” I said coolly. “I prefer not to talk about it but if you wish to disclose secrets I will gladly tell you mine when you tell me yours. Who do you wish to punish with your spell, Gwendolyn? Who was he and what did he do to you and those you love?”
Her face closed at once and she scooted away from me.
“Never you mind about that—it’s my business.”
“And my past is mine,” I said, shortly. “Now perhaps you should try to get some rest. We still have a tiring journey ahead of us tomorrow.”
“So we’ll be back on the road?” she asked neutrally. “I thought you needed time to rest and get back your power.”
“A night of rest should restore me quite a lot,” I replied. “I will soon be at full strength again—it helps that the next circle we are going to pass through is my home.”
“It is?” Her eyes widened. “Are we going to go by your house?”
I shook my head. “My estate, as I told you, is in Hades. When we pass the next barrier, we will be entering the City of Dis which is about five hundred leagues away.”
Gwendolyn shifted uncomfortably.
“About the barrier…”
“You need not concern yourself with it now,” I told her. “We are close enough to break it here but we do not need to. Wait until tomorrow and we will find another way for you to pay the Sin Tax. One that does not involve me touching you, as I know you dislike that.”
“It’s not that I dislike it, you know that,” she protested. “It just feels…dangerous.”
To say the honest truth, it felt dangerous to me as well. As a demon of lust I should be able to take my pleasure with her and think nothing of it. Yet I found myself affected by her innocence. Her pleasure in my touch undid me in ways I did not fully understand.
“I am not offended,” I said. “I understand why you want to keep your distance—to keep your innocence. And in the spirit of that…” Summoning some of my slowly returning power, I conjured a long silk nightdress for her and some black satin sleeping trousers for myself as well.
“Oh, thank you!” Gwendolyn eagerly pulled the dress on. It was deep green and looked lovely with her eyes.
“I will conjure you some pillows as well,” I promised. “I thought you could sleep before the fire tonight as the bed doesn’t seem to be to your liking.”
“You’re right about that.” She shivered. “In front of the fire will be fine.”
“Very well.” I called a fluffy goose down pillow to me and handed it to her. “Sweet dreams, Gwendolyn.”
She bit her lip, that habit she had when uncertain of something.
“You’re not, uh, joining me?”
“As I told you before, demons have no need of sleep,” I said. “And considering that you wish to keep your distance, I think it better that I watch over you from here.” I took a seat at the table on one of the crude wooden stools.
“Oh. All right.” Strangely, she sounded disappointed. Why would she, though? After all, she was the one who wished to keep me at an arm’s length—I was making that very easy for her. I couldn’t fathom why she should be upset that I would be spending the night away from her.
“Good night, Gwendolyn,” I murmured, conjuring her a blanket. It appeared and draped over her softly curving form. I hoped it would keep her warm since I could not do it myself.
“Good night, Laish,” she whispered and was still, her face turned to the fire, her eyes closed.
For a long while I watched the play of firelight and shadows over her high cheekbones and lovely face. She was not asleep—I could tell that. But she was pretending, either for my benefit or her own. So I simply sat and watched, wishing I could caress her as the firelight did, wishing to kiss her…to hold her…to bring her pleasure.
And yet I could not. Nor could I even say why I wanted to in the first place.
Chapter Twenty-four
Gwendolyn
It took a long time to drift off. I could feel Laish watching me and I couldn’t help wondering what he was thinking. I knew what I was thinking though—it was all about him. All about Laish.
He’d gotten so defensive earlier when I’d asked him about his past—I’d never heard him sound like that before. He was always so calm and amused and above it all. So cool and collected. Yet when I asked what he really was he’d snapped at me and pretty much told me to mind my own business. Then he’d turned it around on me, asking about the revenge spell I wante
d to work and I’d snapped right back. That was what he’d wanted of course—to take the spotlight off himself and turn it on me. But why?
And why did I care? I told myself his past was none of my business—that it was no big deal he was sitting at the table while I slept by myself on the fur rug in front of the fire. But I couldn’t quite make myself believe it.
For the awful few hours when I’d believed he was dead or at least gone forever beyond my reach, I’d missed him terribly. Though I hardly admitted it to myself, I had felt completely bereft and not just because I had no idea how I’d get through Hell without him. When he’d saved me from the demon and I fell sobbing into his arms there was a feeling of comfort and safety…of coming home. Why was that?
“You love him,” breathed a soft voice in my ear.
No, I don’t—of course I don’t, I told myself firmly. I could never be that stupid—could never give my heart to a demon. Grams raised me better than that.
But if that was true, why was it so hard to lie here, pretending to sleep when all I wanted was to jump up and run to him? Why did I long for his kiss and the comfort of his arms wrapped around me, the feel of his big, strong body pressed against mine?
It took everything I could not to go to him or call him to me but somehow I remained alone on the rug.
Just relax, I told myself sternly. It’s been a long, long day. Try and get some sleep and things will look better in the morning. It was what Grams always told me and it was almost always true.
I opened my eyes just a slit and stared into the fire where the flames were burning lower now. The soft crackle and pop of the wood burning and the hypnotic flicker of light and shadow finally overcame my restless mind. I was able to give in to exhaustion and at last I slept.
~~~
I don’t know if it was falling asleep in front of the fire or the awful, stressful events I’d been through that brought on the dream. I only knew that one minute I was lying safe and warm before the fireplace and the next I was crammed into the small, dark closet with my sister Keisha, looking through the crack at the fire demon and listening to my mother’s screams.
“Mamma…Mamma, no—Mamma please come back! Please be all right! Don’t hurt her! Don’t you hurt my Mamma!”
The screams continued mixed with the high, evil laughter and the frightened sobbing of my little sister. I felt the tremendous heat pushing against the door like a huge, flaming hand trying to get in…smelled the choking stench of smoke…heard the fire engines in the distance coming to save us but too late…too late…
“Please,” I begged. “Please don’t hurt her—please just let her be all right…”
“Gwendolyn? Gwendolyn!”
Someone was shaking my shoulder and speaking low and urgently in my ear—calling my name, calling me out of the dream and into reality.
“Gwendolyn…mon ange…It’s all right. Everything is all right. It’s just a dream…a bad dream.”
A dream…I’m having the dream again, I thought, still foggy and disorientated. I haven’t had it in so long—years…
“Gwendolyn?” Laish said again and I opened my eyes to see him kneeling beside me, a look of concern on his face.
“Laish…” I reached for him blindly and he took me in his arms.
“What is it, mon ange?” he murmured. “What is this dream that torments you so?”
“My mother.” I heard the choking in my voice and tried not to cry—I hated looking weak in front of him again. But the dream had been so vivid—so real…
“What happened to your mother, mon ange? You never told me.”
“She was killed.” I choked again and wiped my eyes quickly. “When her spell went wrong.”
“What went wrong with it?” The fire had sunk to embers now and in its soft red glow his ruby eyes looked almost golden.
“I…she…” I was too tired and disorientated to lie. “She called a fire demon,” I admitted at last. “And it turned on her. Burned her and set our house on fire. Keisha and I were hiding in the closet, watching when it happened. We nearly died too but the firemen saved us. Not my mother though…Mamma…” I felt a soft sob escape me and looked away. “It was too late for her. That…that was how she died.”
Understanding dawned on his face.
“No wonder you feared me more after you found out my true nature.”
“Yeah, well…” I pushed back from his embrace and swiped at my eyes again. “I guess that wasn’t very fair of me. You can’t judge a whole people by one individual.”
“Actually, in this case you can,” he said mildly. “I would bet almost anything that the kind of demon your mother called for her spell was a Fire Imp—a demon made entirely of the stuff of the Lake of Fire. They are mindless creatures bent only on death and destruction.”
“So…there’s more than one kind of fire demon?” I frowned uncertainly. “You’re sure about that?”
“Positive,” he said dryly. “I am, after all, the second kind.”
“Which is different how exactly?” I asked.
“I draw my strength from the Lake of Fire because I was baptized in it when I was first cast down,” he said. “But I am not made of it.”
Cast down from where? I wanted to ask but remembering his earlier defensiveness, I bit my tongue.
“So Mamma—my mother—was unlucky enough to get the wrong kind of fire demon when she did her spell?”
“Unlucky or unknowledgeable. Calling anything demonic to you is very dangerous, as I am sure you know. You are opening a doorway—opening yourself –to dark forces when you call upon one of my kind.”
“I know,” I whispered. “That was why I was specifically trying for a lesser or minor demon when I first did the spell that you answered.”
“And yet, you got me instead. For when you open a door, you cannot always be sure who or what will come through it.”
His words made me remember the door I’d opened onto the Abyss and the HellSpawn that had come through. The HellSpawn that was no doubt hot on my trail right now. For the first time it really hit home with me how foolish—how reckless I’d been. And yet, I still would do it again. Taylor was my friend—I wasn’t sorry I’d called her back from the edge of death—I just wished I’d been more careful when I was doing it.
Laish seemed to take my silence for calmness. He brushed my cheek lightly with his knuckles and sat up.
“You should try to get more sleep. It is hours yet before dawn.”
He started to get up but I reached for him—I couldn’t help it.
“Wait…” I put a hand on his bare, muscular arm. “Please…stay with me. Hold me a little while longer.”
A change came over his face—a more open look than I’d seen since our disastrous discussion over dinner.
“Do you truly wish me to?”
“You know I do.” I tugged on him a little. “I wanted you to earlier but…well, I didn’t know how to ask.”
“Simply ask, mon ange,” he murmured, a small, amused smile quirking one corner of his sensuous mouth. I am yours for the asking at any time.”
“I’m asking now,” I told him. “Hold me.”
“As my lady wishes,” he said, his deep voice amused. Lying down beside me again, he took me in his arms and held me close.
I pressed close to him, just as I had when he had first rescued me from the demon. I nuzzled my head under his chin and pressed my cheek to his broad, warm chest. His dark spice and cinnamon scent filled my nose and it smelled like safety and comfort and home. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I sighed contentedly. This was better—it was what I had wanted all along. And while I knew I was being weak, giving in to the impulse to snuggle with him didn’t seem wrong or dangerous—it felt good. Felt wonderful and safe and right.
I pressed even closer to him and suddenly something hot and hard was nudging against my belly.
“Oh!” I bit my lip.
“Forgive me.” Laish started to move away. “Though I am a Prince of Night
and Shadows, I am still male. With all my power I cannot help the way my body reacts to yours, Gwendolyn.”
I couldn’t help the way mine reacted to him either. Already I could feel my nipples growing tight and my pussy getting wet, just from being close to him and smelling that warm, cinnamon musk. Not to mention feeling his big, warm body pressing against mine.
Suddenly I had an idea.
“Wait…” I reached for him when he would have moved away. “I want to try something.”
“What?” He frowned at me inquiringly.
“This.” I pushed at his broad shoulder until he lay on his back.
“What exactly do you have in mind, mon ange?” he murmured, his eyes glowing red and gold in the dim light.
“Paying the Sin Tax,” I told him. “But this time I want to be in charge. I want to explore you the way you explored me.”
“Is that right?” A little grin played around his sensual lips and he put his hands behind his head, leaving himself completely open to me. “Well then, by all means, Gwendolyn, be my guest.”
What are you doing? screamed a little voice in the back of my head. I thought you decided not to touch him again or let him touch you! It’s dangerous—you know it is!
And yet, it didn’t feel dangerous—or not as dangerous as it probably should have.
I’m going to be in charge this time, I told myself, stroking the broad, bare planes of his chest and letting my fingers trail across his muscular abs. I say what we do and how far we go—that way it’s safe.
“Safe,” Laish echoed my thought aloud.
“Are you reading my mind?” I asked, addressing it directly for the first time. “Is that it? Can you hear everything I’m thinking?”
“I only catch snippets—things you’re thinking very loudly. And only when we are close or touching,” he assured me. “Right now you’re thinking that it will be safe to touch me as long as you are in charge.”
“That’s right,” I admitted. “How do you feel about that?”
“It is perfectly fine with me. If this is what it takes to make you feel safe with me, I will gladly give you the power.” He nodded down at himself. “Go on—touch me, Gwendolyn. Tease me…take me. Do what you wish with me—I am yours.”