“Well, he taught you good. Those were some killer moves back there today. I’m kinda jealous.”
“Don’t be. It’s too easy for me. I’ve never been able to let go of the anger I had as a kid. I wasn’t kidding when I said I had impulse-control issues. I’m better now, but I’ve got a real short fuse.”
I smiled and before I could think twice, rested my hand over his. “I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit. You showed more control than I would have dealing with Deeds earlier.” I sighed. “Sometimes I wish I could fight. I’ve always relied on brains, but sometimes that’s just not enough, ya know?”
He glanced around, then got to his feet. “Here. Lemme show you.”
He helped me up and took my free hand in his. “Go ahead. Make a fist.”
I scrunched my fingers into a tight ball, trying hard to concentrate on anything other than the way his skin felt on mine. “Like this?”
“No.” His fingers slipped across my knuckles, warm and slightly rough. The touch sent my pulse through the roof, and I was positive he could hear it—mainly because when I picked my head up to look up at him, he was staring.
I tried to turn away, but there was some unseen force keeping my gaze locked to his. I panicked and said the first thing that came to mind. “Hi…”
He grinned. “Hi.”
Shit. Okay, now what? Apparently my brain cells had leaked out along the way. I needed to speak. Say something that wasn’t stupid. “So, um, my fist is wrong?”
He blinked several times, then nodded. “Oh. Yeah.” Pulling my thumb out, he said, “Has to go on the outside—otherwise you risk breaking it.”
I adjusted my fist and took a deep breath. “Okay. How’s this?”
He nodded. “Better. Okay, first thing to remember is, if you’re going for the face, always aim for the mouth or the nose.”
“Not the cheeks?”
“Nope.” He brought his index finger up and ran it along my cheek—from just beside my nose, to my ear. The touch was feathery soft, but left ripples of heat in its wake. It stirred an odd kind of high that kick-started my heart and left me feeling kind of breathless. In that moment it was hard to remember why I’d put the brakes on last night. “There are a lot of small bones in the hand. You could break something, or worse, collapse your knuckles.”
“Collapse my knuckles? Sounds painful,” I managed to get out.
He moved closer, and I shivered against his nearness, bringing a smile to his lips. He was doing it on purpose. Knowing that it affected me. A part of me thought that was cruel, while another part found it intriguing.
“It is. Spread your legs a little wider.” He bent slightly, left hand skimming the outside of my leg. Even through the thick material of my borrowed oversize sweatpants, I could feel the warmth of his hand gliding down my leg. I bit my lower lip hard so I’d have something else to focus on. Something other than the unbelievably amazing, fluttery feeling in my chest as his hands moved over me.
When he got to my knee, he wrapped his hand around and pulled out lightly. “You want to maintain good balance. Make it impossible for your opponent to knock you over.”
I let him position me where he wanted and held my breath. If I breathed in now, I’d say or do something monumentally embarrassing. I just knew it.
He stood and stepped away as far as the shackles would allow. “You’re small, but I’ve seen you move. You’re quick. And smart. Nine times out of ten, you’re going to be out-muscled—but that doesn’t mean they can take you down. Your best bet is dodging. Even the most powerful guy is thrown off—even if it’s only for a second—when you dodge his blow. It’s all about momentum. Dodge—” His free arm shot out into the air in front of me, sending tendrils of my hair fluttering every which way. “Then strike.”
“Dodge, then strike. Got it.”
He nodded and waved me closer. “Hit me.”
I blinked, sure I’d heard him wrong. “Hit you?”
He flashed me a grin that nearly turned my knees to goop. “Well, try to, anyway.”
“I don’t want to—”
And I swung. My plan was to take him off guard. It didn’t work out that way, though. He twisted to the right and easily avoided the blow. There was even enough time for him to tweak my nose before returning to his original position.
“See how the follow-through kinda wrecked your balance? As the smaller, weaker fighter, you need to exploit that.”
It sounded like it made sense. “Okay…”
He stepped away again. “Let’s try something a little different. I’ll come at you.”
My mind, already swimming through the gutter after he’d practically groped my leg, didn’t send the shut up command to my mouth fast enough. “For what?”
“To try and attack you. You dodge the blow, then strike at me. Remember—dodge and strike.”
I wasn’t sure I liked this plan—for a long list of reasons. “How am I supposed to dodge you?”
He winked. “No worries. I’ll make it easy.”
Without another word, he moved forward with his left hand, moving slow enough for me to duck out of the way. As his faux momentum propelled him past, I brought my right arm up and tapped his jaw with my elbow.
“That was great,” he exclaimed. “Do it again, but this time, put some force behind the blow.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
He angled himself closer, proud grin morphing into something a little more wicked. It heated my skin. “Don’t worry.” Warm breath caressing the edge of my ear, he whispered, “I like it rough.”
There was no way to hide it. I was positive he could see the effect he had on me. How could he not? The heat that flared in my cheeks had to be nearly as obvious as the drumming of my pulse, which every inhabitant of the lot must have been able to hear by that point. He backed away as far as the chains would allow, but his eyes never left mine.
Without waiting for the okay, he came at me again, this time faster. I managed to avoid him—barely—and bent to duck his arm. Throwing myself forward, I caught him at the waist and pushed off the ground hard. The movement sent us toppling down. Him onto the ground. Me splayed awkwardly on top. If I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest before, now it was likely to make my entire body implode.
I lifted my head to find him staring again. “That was perfect,” he said, voice low and just a little husky.
Even though we were on the ground in a parking lot, not far from a group of downtrodden homeless people, and technically on the run for our lives, I wanted to inch forward and brush my lips against his. If I could kiss him again, everything would melt away. Like it had by the road. Like it had in the trailer… Just a few moments of peace. Another taste of normal.
As if reading my mind, he whispered, “You can kiss me, you know… You can take control.”
And I wanted to. Badly. But he was wrong. I couldn’t. “That probably wouldn’t be a good idea.”
He propped himself up on his free arm. The rippling light from the fire a few feet away played dancing shadows across the left side of his face, leaving the other completely cloaked in darkness. “Not a good idea?”
“After what happened back at the trailer…” I shook my head, and even though every fiber in my body protested, I slipped off him. Folding my knees under, cross-legged, I tilted my head back against the building.
Shaun sat up as well, eyes narrow. “I liked what we did at the trailer. I wanna kiss you again.” He let his finger trace the outline of my bottom lip.
“Okay,” I said, but as he leaned close, I wedged my hand between us. “But first, tell me why.”
He tilted his head, letting his finger fall away. “Why what?”
“Why do you want to kiss me?”
He looked confused. “Because I want to?”
Did he have to make this harder? “But why do you want to?”
He narrowed his eyes, understanding. “What you’re really asking is, is this just another
distraction?”
I nodded. I liked him—much more than I should—but I still wanted to know the truth. I’d never had a relationship of any kind with anyone other than my mom. If this was all about using me to play the distraction in an otherwise horrible situation, then I was okay with it. It worked both ways. But if it was more than that…
He came a little closer. “Seriously? Do you really believe that?”
“You said—”
“Because you were so obviously freaked out.” He ran a finger along my cheek, all the way to my jaw, and let it rest there for a moment, just above my pulse point, which was going crazy.
“I was not,” I argued—even though he was right. I had been freaked. I’d never gotten that intense with anyone before, and the fact that I wanted to lose myself in it had terrified me. Add that to the way I was feeling about him, and it was one hell of a mess. “This is against the rules,” I whispered, eyes on his.
He rose onto his knees. “The rules? What rules?”
“Mom had a very specific set of rules. It’s how—”
He grabbed both my hands and held them tight. It was hard to think when he was this close. When he touched me. “This is gonna sound harsh, but you need to listen carefully. There are no rules, Kayla. Your mom is gone. You need to live your own life now. Make your own rules—not follow someone else’s.” He let go and raised our cuffed hands. “This is kinda the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
I wanted to look away, but I just couldn’t. “Because it’s giving you time to think, right?”
His nose scrunched, and he cocked his head to the right, before settling back down on the ground in front of me. “You can be so incredibly thick. It’s true, I don’t think I’m cut out for this kind of thing. I’ve got too short a fuse. Pat keeps his cool under any circumstance. You need that in this line of work—especially when dealing with people like Deeds. But what I’m talking about is you.”
My traitorous heartbeat sped up. Excitement—regardless of how hard I tried to tamp it down—started to bubble. “Me?”
“These shackles are the best thing that’s happened to me because of you. Being shackled to you. That’s what I’m talking about.”
“You’re insane. You’re basically stuck to a ticking time bomb.”
“Am I? If I hadn’t ended up cuffed to you, I would have never gotten the opportunity to start getting to know you. You’re more than a distraction; I like you. I think you’re smart and funny. I think you’ve got some mad skills, even if you don’t see it yourself, and you’re a good person. You’ve been through some crazy stuff and you haven’t made it all about you. I’ve met a lot of people like you—and like me. People who’ve been dealt a shitty hand. They get hard. Cold. Only care about themselves and where their next thing is coming from. That’s not you. You’re not a manipulator.”
“You don’t know me.”
“Maybe not inside out, but I know you better than you think I do.”
“Why? Because we’ve spent a few days attached at the hip?”
He flashed me a half smile and an involuntary shiver raced down my spine. That smile had undoubtedly been the undoing of many a girl. “Exactly. I’ve seen you at your worst. Angry and bitter and mean. And I’ve seen you be brave and stand up against things that would tear most people down. I don’t think you’re worried about me not knowing you. I think what you’re really worried about is you not knowing you. You’ve spent so much time living like your mom, that you don’t have any idea who the hell you are.”
I tried to answer. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, and crazy, and out of line, but my brain refused to let me lie. Not this time. Not about this—because he was right. With Mom gone, I had no idea who Mikayla Morgan really was.
“I’m not proposing or anything, but yeah, I do like you. And no. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re different from any other girl I’ve met. Weird—but in a good way. I look at you and find that I’ve got no idea what you’re going to say or do next.” He leaned even closer until our noses were touching, and all the hairs on the back of my neck jumped to attention. “But I wanna find out.”
Forget the shiver. I had chills. Arctic shards of ice doing marathon sprints up and down my spine. What was a girl supposed to say to a pitch like that? I opened my mouth, but then closed it. My brain was at war with, well, everything else. Heart, hormones—the whole package. For the first time in my life, I ignored what Mom would have said and went with what I wanted.
I grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him to me. The kiss started sweet. Very PG. But it changed, and I wasn’t sure if it was me or Shaun who kicked it into overdrive. One minute our lips were moving together, my uncuffed hand on his face, and his arms around my waist. The next, he was drawing away and pulling me to my feet.
I didn’t question him as he led me across the edge of the lot, past the tree line, and into the forest. As soon as we were away from the tents and people, and tucked into the shadows, he backed me against the nearest tree.
“So, I guess you’re okay with me kissing you?” he asked, leaning in and nuzzling my neck. I let my head fall back, a small moan escaping my lips, and he laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
It was a yes. It was a hell yes.
He worked his way down my neck, lingering at my shoulder. A rush of cold air assaulted me as he tugged the collar aside, covering the small patch of exposed skin with fiery kisses. I brought my free hand to the back of his head, running my fingers through his hair. He groaned and leaned into my touch for a moment before lifting me up and stepping away from the tree.
Lowering us to the ground, he never broke eye contact. That kind of scrutiny would have normally sent me scurrying for the nearest rock to crawl under, but with Shaun it was different. I found that I wanted him to look at me. I wanted him to see me.
He lay back, letting me straddle his waist. “It’s all you, Kayla. You have complete control over me,” he said softly. “I’ve got a feeling you had it from the moment I first saw you in the cabin.”
I bent down and kissed him. The smell of the forest, mixed with the scent of him, was intoxicating. Like a jolt to the body. Alive. That same feeling I’d gotten at the trailer, but ten times stronger, because this time, I wasn’t standing in my own way. I knew what I wanted and had every intention of taking it. Deepening the kiss, I savored the sensation. It was electric, and I felt more alive in that moment than ever before.
He kept his cuffed hand close, but let his free one drift to my hips, urging them forward. The movement created a friction so intense, I gasped.
So did he. “Fuck,” he groaned into my mouth. He captured my bottom lip between his teeth and pulled, letting his tongue skim across as his fingers gripped the thin material of my sweatpants and tugged hard. “Please, God, do that again.”
I moved again, another wave of electricity rippling through me. This time his hips rose to meet mine, increasing the sensation and stealing the breath from my lungs. Shaun growled. The sound was like ten thousand tiny needles all pricking my skin at the same time. He jerked his hands down, dragging my left one along, and slipped them under my shirt.
Heat, nearly volcanic, exploded as he dragged his fingers across my skin, palm down. A moment later, he shoved me up, into a sitting position. “Don’t stop. Keep moving.”
I braced myself against him with my free hand and began moving. The feel of him, rock-hard beneath me, made my insides quiver. His hands came to my breasts, palming them once before his fingers hooked over the edge of my bra and dragged the cups down in a single, violent pull. Then, with deft movement, he pulled his own shirt up, tucking it behind his head.
Skin on skin now. I felt like I was about to die. Taking the right nipple between his fingers, he squeezed gently, then twisted just a hair. I sucked in a sharp breath and arched my back. Suddenly there were too many layers between us. I wanted to feel that way all over. Skin against skin everywhere.
Shaun must have been thinking the s
ame thing. He pulled his hands from under my shirt. The right one, the one cuffed to mine, he rose above his head, which caused me to bend forward. With a chuckle, he hooked a leg over and had our positions reversed in a single, dizzying move.
“God,” he growled. “Touching you makes me crazy.” He laid his left hand on my face, then dragged it up and through my hair, fingers knotting into a large chunk as he ground his hips against me.
I bit back a scream, arching into him. Who knew how far we would have gone if the red and blue lights hadn’t broken through the trees, followed by the sound of a siren.
“Shit,” he cursed, rolling sideways and taking my hand. Like I weighed nothing more than a feather, he fixed his shirt and pulled me to my feet and tucked us behind the large pine tree.
“What’s going on?” I asked, trying to fix my bra with my free hand. The last thing we needed was to be in the middle of a raid.
“Cops,” he responded, breathing still heavy. He turned to me, eyes full of heat and hunger. “We should move.”
Chapter Seventeen
By the time midmorning rolled around the next day, I had a wicked knot in my back, a sore neck, and my face buried in the crook of Shaun’s arm. We’d run farther into the woods and waited. Thankfully no one had come, but the risk of heading back to the field was too high. We’d settled in the crevice of several large boulders.
“Hey there,” Shaun said as I opened my eyes. He was grinning, eyes bright. Definitely one of the better sights I’d ever woken to.
“Hi,” I whispered back. Not even sixty seconds awake and my heart was already humming.
He pushed forward and brushed his lips to mine, pulling away for a brief moment only to dive back in, this time igniting my insides and really waking me up. When he finished, he pulled away and winked. “Sorry. Just had to be done.”
I smiled. Not the forced, fake thing I’d mastered over the years, but a new expression. One that was genuine. Happy. I was freaking happy. How the hell I could be happy while chained to someone and running for my life, I had no clue, but there it was. Happy.