Chapter Four
Unusually, a third straight day of sunshine greeted them on Saturday morning. There was some fog on the bay, but it was almost gone when they got into the car to drive into Halifax. They had discussed going as a larger group with Alex and Maddy, but there wasn't enough room in one vehicle for five people, a car seat and purchases.
At breakfast, Jerry asked "How much money do you have left, Miriam?"
"Not a lot, maybe two thousand US dollars. Why?"
"Because it makes a difference where we go to shop. I think we should be looking at the used clothing stores first rather than the malls. There are often good bargains to be had."
"How much is a new dress?"
"Well a good new dress would be around one hundred and shoes and purse another one hundred fifty."
"And at a used store?"
"If you can find everything you need, probably sixty dollars for a dress, shoes and purse together."
"Then let's definitely try the used clothing shops first."
"If you need extra, I can help out, a bit."
"I already owe you so much, I'd rather not, at least not now."
"Just ask, if you change your mind."
The drive to Halifax was pleasant. Jerry decided to take the old highway rather than the new four lane. Jerry pointed out landmarks and told stories as they drove. The road dipped and wound around hills as they skirted the end of St Margaret's Bay. Jerry pointed out the school where he worked as they passed through Tantallon. The conversation was relaxed and neither felt the need to fill the occasional comfortable silence.
Once in a while, they'd hear Michelle say "What's that?" while looking down her finger at what she was pointing at. Neither of them could make her understand that only she could see what she was pointing at and they needed her to use words to describe the thing.
Halifax was a busy city, especially on a sunny June Saturday. They found the Frenchy’s and began searching for suitable clothing. There was a limit on the number of items in the change room, and both of them were aware that Michelle could get bored quickly.
Miriam realized that she had no idea what Canadian size she was. There was a size chart available with the relevant measurements and a note that a tape measure was available on request. For some of the measurements she would have to ask Jerry to help out. She could measure her waist and hips, but her bust needed to be measured with her arms down.
She handed the tape to Jerry and took a deep breath to calm herself. She had never willingly let a man she wasn't related to get this close to her before and certainly not one she cared for. Jerry's hands were a bit shaky, but he managed to get all of the measurements down without touching more than her back and hips. Both of them were far too aware that she was not wearing a bra. She only had the one she was wearing when she left Walid's and it had not dried overnight due to the humidity near the ocean.
The chart indicated that she was a size 2 petite. And a 31B bra size. Jerry managed not to blush too hard thinking about Miriam's underwear or lack of it. Miriam felt the stirrings of desire again when Jerry's shaking hand brushed against her back and hips, like she wanted him to touch her in other places as well.
They found the part of the dress rack labelled size 2 and Miriam selected four dresses from the small selection that were not too low in front. She added a black party dress to the pile, just to try on. Two of the dresses showed too much leg for her to be comfortable wearing them, but the other two fit reasonably well. The knee length silk cocktail dress by Alfred Sung was almost scandalous in what it showed, but it fit so perfectly she decided to take it anyway, feeling wicked and daring. She found her courage and stepped out of the change room wearing the first of the decent dresses to get Jerry's opinion then changed into the second dress to model it. He thought the light blue dress looked to be the better of the two, and she agreed.
There were a number of purses available, so she chose a black clutch purse that was the right size for her hand. There were no good shoes in the right size, but Jerry told her that there were a number of discount shoe stores in the area. She also decided to get a hooded rain jacket. The clerk goggled at the Alfred Sung dress and looked jealous that Miriam was small enough to wear it. Total price for two dresses, a purse and jacket was ninety-five dollars.
Then it was off to the mall for shoes. The Payless had a number of sale shoes in her size five and a half. A pair of black pumps with a two and a half inch heel and a pair of duck boots set her back another eighty dollars.
She also needed some new underwear, but there was no way she was going to do that with Jerry anywhere close. She suggested that he take Michelle for a walk while she went into La Senza. It was bad enough that he knew what she was shopping for. Along with a couple of sensible and modest bras and several pairs of panties, she decided to be really daring and bought a black lacy bra and panty set that would go well with her new cocktail dress. She felt a frisson of excitement thinking about Jerry's reaction to her in the party dress. It was extravagant, but she didn't really care. The clerk was kind and double bagged everything for her. She was still blushing when she caught up with Jerry and Michelle. They had stopped at the teachers store to buy some crayons and construction paper.
"Did you get everything you need?" Jerry asked.
"Yes, thank you." Miriam couldn't quite meet Jerry's eyes. Jerry noticed that she was blushing.
"Would you like some lunch? My treat." Jerry asked.
"That would be nice."
They got a table at the Pizza Delight and decided on the lunch buffet. Michelle asked for plain cheese pizza, please, and a root beer. Jerry sampled three different pizzas and took a large helping of salad to go with his root beer. Miriam took a slice of vegetarian pizza and a small piece of lasagne along with a small helping of green salad and coffee.
"I don't imagine that 'all you can eat' is a real bargain for you." Jerry said with a twinkle in his eyes.
"I'm not very big, and I don't want to get a lot bigger, either." Miriam answered honestly.
"I want to get bigger." said Michelle
"I want you to get bigger, too, princess. But a little at a time." Jerry said gently to Michelle.
"You look great," said Jerry looking at Miriam and trying to be confident.
"Thank you.” Miriam blushed and changed the subject. “So where is this grocery store? The one with the Lebanese food."
"I think there's one on Quinpool Road. It's not too far out of the way."
"It will take a few hours to make the baklava, so I don't really want to waste much more time shopping, if you don't mind."
"Not at all."
They tried to hurry lunch, but Michelle was enjoying her pizza one small bite at a time. Jerry told some stories about school. Miriam told some stories about life near the Golan Heights. Michelle interrupted the stories a couple of times to ask questions.
"Thank you for lunch, Jerry." Miriam smiled fondly at Jerry.
"My pleasure." Jerry looked bashful as he responded.
The grocery store had everything she needed. She did ask Jerry to buy some of the pistachios, she'd forgotten how expensive they were in Canada. For supper, she decided to make a chicken casserole. She wanted to buy some lamb, but that would have to wait until she could find a job.
They got back to Jerry's house around two. Michelle had fallen asleep in her car seat and by some miracle Jerry was able to transfer her sleeping form up to her bed without waking her. Miriam took her clothes out of the car and walked them over to Rose's to deliver them to her room and pass on an invitation for supper while Jerry brought in the groceries. Remembering one of his many fights with Annabelle, he decided to wait until Miriam was back before putting things away.
He thought about the drive home. When he and Miriam had been at Mac, they used to spend a lot of time in the coffee shop near the library talking about politics, religion, current events and their dreams for the future. Somewhere on the drive home Jerry realized that it was like the l
ast five years were just a brief pause in their friendship. It was so good to have his best friend back in his life. Maybe this time they could talk about a future together instead of duty and separate lives. He gave a contented sigh as he spotted Miriam coming around Jan's house.
Miriam took over the kitchen like she'd lived there for years. She set the chicken pieces to marinate in olive oil, lemon juice and garlic then started on the baklava.
It took almost three hours to make four large pans worth. Jerry helped by shelling the pistachios. When Michelle woke up she was allowed to help crush the pistachios into smaller pieces and to help mix up the honey and rose water syrup. Somehow, in the midst of this fairly constant assembly line, Miriam managed to prepare two salads and put on rice, the chicken and potato casserole and diced turnip to get supper on the table for six o'clock.
The first pan of baklava was cool enough to eat when Jack, Rose, Alex and Maddy came in.
"It smells scrumptious, Miriam." Rose said.
"Wait a moment and I'll put out some baklava so that everyone can have an appetizer." Miriam checked the chicken and the rice before putting seven pieces on a plate.
"This is okay." Alex was licking the syrup from his fingers with a broad grin.
Maddy said, “That's high praise from Alex. He's not big on compliments.” She bit into her piece and made appreciative mumbles while putting a thumb up with her free hand.
"Do you think the people at church will like it?" asked Miriam.
"Folks around here like their sweets, so I expect they will." Rose bit an edge from her piece. "Oh, this is sooo good." Rose raised her eyes heavenward and took another bite. "This tastes so much better than the baklava from the grocery store."
"It's a family recipe with a hint of lemon in the syrup to cut the sweetness a bit, but the real difference is using honey and enough pistachios. Commercial bakeries always cut corners where they can and honey and pistachio are expensive. They usually put walnuts in to stretch the filling and raw sugar in the syrup."
"You made enough to feed a small army." Maddy chipped in.
"There isn't that much difference in effort between making one pan and four pans if you make the filo pastry from scratch, except the cooking time. It's hard to get the pastry right if you make a small batch. So I make at least four pans. Jerry helped with shelling the nuts while I was rolling the pastry. In Lebanon we'd get the women from several families together to make twice or three times this much and everyone would take their share home. I'll pack some up for you to take home tomorrow to the farm.”
Michelle was caught trying to sneak a second piece before supper. "No, Michelle, little one. You must have supper before you have another." Miriam was gentle but firm. Michelle tried pouting, but it didn't work on Miriam who had seen it all from her sisters.
Jerry set the table in the dining room for seven while Miriam transferred the supper into serving dishes.
"Everything smells good." Maddy said picking up a serving bowl of buttered rice with shredded carrot and parsley.
Miriam took the lemon chicken and potato casserole from the cooling rack by the oven and brought it into the dining room. Rose followed with the two salads. Miriam returned for the diced turnip and the garlic mayonnaise.
Jerry said grace and everyone began to serve themselves. Michelle was served a small amount of chicken and potato along with a bit of rice and turnip. There was a period of cook's applause - those minutes where the only sound is clinking cutlery and appreciative noises.
Alex took a second serving of the chicken and said "This is wonderful, Miriam."
Miriam smiled and said "It's easy to make. Mama made this for us on days when she wanted something that was good that didn't need a lot of work. The baklava, on the other hand, that's work. But worth it. I did lighten up on the garlic in the chicken, though."
Maddy grumped. “Alex never says my cooking is wonderful.”
Alex shrugged. “Your cooking is mostly okay.” Then he caught Maddy's look. “But your apple crumble is to die for.” Maddy humphed but softened her gaze.
"This is very good." Rose said. "Did you do much cooking for your family?"
"Quite a lot. My mother died when I was fourteen giving birth to my baby sister. Between my mother's death and university I managed the household for father. One of my father's aunts lived with us, but she was so tired out by the two young ones that she almost never cooked. The neighbours wondered why Papa didn't remarry, especially with no sons, but he loved Mama so much he couldn't think about another woman filling that space. So it fell to me, and then Elena while I was at school in Canada, and then me again to keep the house and make sure everyone was fed and clean."
"That's a lot of work to do on top of school." Maddy said.
"We were lucky in our town to even have a girl's school that went past grade six. Most girls don't get to go to school past grade six, but father needed me to help run the business so I worked very hard to get good marks and make sure that the house was running smoothly. We managed."
"Then you went to Mac? When Jerry was there?" Alex asked.
"Yes. My aunt and uncle were very generous to let me stay with them especially with Uncle Mahmoud not agreeing that girls should even go to university. I did not have to work quite as hard as I did at home, so I had time to myself for the first time since I was very small. It was hard to get used to that much free time, really." Miriam smiled and looked across the table at Jerry. "Some of the Lebanese girls I met at Mac were Christians and we started to hang out together. They introduced me to Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship and that's where I met Jerry although we were in a couple of stats classes together in first year." Miriam glanced affectionately at Jerry.
"More chicken, pleeeze, Daddy," piped up Michelle from her booster chair.
"Do you like it, Mitchie?" asked Jerry.
"It's really yummy. Lemony." Jerry put another piece of chicken on her plate along with two small pieces of the browned potatoes.
There were leftovers because everyone wanted to have room for more baklava. Miriam looked at the almost empty serving dishes with a very satisfied look on her face. Rose busied herself making tea for everyone while Jack, Alex and Jerry cleared the table.
As they moved to the parlour, Miriam turned to Maddy and said, "This feels very strange, too, but nice. Men in my family never clean up after a meal. I feel almost spoiled."
Maddy said "I guess I take it for granted. Alex and I are partners in most everything. I do more of the cleaning than he does, but he does more cooking than I do. That will probably change when we have kids."
Rose arrived with a tea tray and a plate of baklava. Michelle was right behind her and snagged the first piece then retreated to the family room to put on her favourite video. The men came in and grabbed some tea before going out to the porch to discuss politics while Jack had a cigarette. Jerry looked like he'd rather be anywhere than on the porch with Jack talking about sewer and drainage projects but he'd promised Jack he'd listen. The three women settled in for a chat.
"So how was your shopping today? Did you find what you needed?" asked Rose.
"I got a nice light blue dress at the used clothing store. It was interesting. I had to ask Jerry to help measure me because I don't know the sizes here." Miriam blushed as she remembered Jerry's hands brushing against her. "They didn't have a lot of selection in size 2 petite. I got a dress to wear to fancy parties, too. A black one that the salesperson said would look very good on me. It's made by Alfred Sung, which seemed to impress the clerk. I don't know if I'll find the courage to wear it. It shows a lot of skin and you can see my knees if I twirl around." Miriam looked shy.
"My old aunt Edna would agree with you, dearie," said Rose, sipping her tea. "She thought the world was coming to an end when the girls here started wearing bikinis at the beach."
Maddy said "Size 2? How long did I stay a 2, Mum? A week and a half?" Maddy was almost as tall as Jerry's five foot ten.
Rose chortled "Might
have been three weeks that summer you were eleven. I think the first women's dress we got you was a size 12, you were so big. It wasn't a fancy designer dress, though, it was more modest. We kept hoping that the boys would behave themselves."
Maddy snorted, "They all kept their hands to themselves. Their eyes were a different matter."
Miriam couldn't remember anyone looking at her with desire, except maybe Jerry once in a while, not that good girls noticed things like that. "That must have been hard."
Maddy smiled, "It was actually both flattering and maddening to be stared at like that. A couple of the girls let the boys do more than look, but then all of the boys were so disrespectful to them. I wasn't eager to have that kind of reputation."
"It wasn't the local boys I was worried about, Maddy, it was the tourists from away. Some of those boys are just looking for a summer fling and don’t care if they leave their problems behind." Rose took a bite of dessert. "You looked a lot older than you were being so tall and curvy."
"I remember Cassie Brennan got pregnant the summer before my Grade 12 and decided to keep the baby. It was really strange to see her toward the end of her Grade 11 year waddling around the school." Maddy looked pensive. "Then the family from away came back the following summer to see Cassie pushing a stroller."
"It was a bit of an eye-opener, that's for sure. His parents didn't believe her, but her young man did. He made sure she had his address and email."
"So what did happen with Cassie?"
"He convinced his parents to let him transfer to Dalhousie for fourth year so he could be close to them. He decided that he was responsible for Cassie and little Roger even if the rest of the family thought he could do better. So he courted her all over again, proper enough for my old aunt Edna. They got married right after she graduated high school. She's expecting again, number three I think. He got a good job with the Coast Guard in Ontario and he's hoping to get something around here when there's an opening. His parents didn't seem to think she was good enough for the family, but I expect that the grandchildren changed their minds."
"Well, that turned out OK for her, in the end. Doesn't happen like that very often. More often it's like poor Ramona or even Jerry."
"No it doesn't, more's the pity. To top it off, there's a couple of deadbeats around here who won't even acknowledge their own even if everyone knows. It's bad enough to have to be a single parent, but it's worse when the other parent won't help out like they should. Too many of the girls in that situation end up in Halifax or Toronto on welfare, like Ramona did."
"Well, Mum, you always said I should be married first and then think about kids."
"It's the best way to be, Maddy. Are you and Alex thinking about starting a family?"
"Yes, Mum, but not quite yet. Alex wants to buy a bigger share of the farm before we need the money for raising kids. He’s looking at buying a property up the road to add another sixty acres to grow fodder and one of the farmers closer to Yarmouth is looking to sell some of his milking quota. So it’ll be another two years or so we think."
"What about you, Miriam? Do you see yourself having children of your own?" asked Rose.
Miriam briefly wondered what her children would look like if she married Jerry. Olive or pinkish skin? A straight nose or a slightly hooked nose? Long limbed and wide or shorter and fine boned? A square face or an oval face with high cheekbones? Or some mixture of everything? "Yes. I always expected to be married and have a family when I was a girl. When I got to twenty five with no husband, I resigned myself to never getting married. I guess I'll have more say about who my husband will be here in Canada. If I get to stay."
At that moment, the men came back in. Jerry looked around and his face lit up when he spotted Miriam. Jerry gathered up Michelle for her bed time routine. Miriam watched from the corner of the parlour sofa as they started up the stairs. She watched Jerry and Michelle interacting and felt a pang of longing and grief as she remembered her father.
Shortly after he came back downstairs, Jack, Rose, Alex and Maddy got up to leave. Miriam was conflicted. She felt so at home in Jerry's kitchen, at home sitting with the women, at home watching Jerry lovingly put his daughter to bed. She wanted to stay here with Jerry for a bit longer, but it didn't feel quite right with so much unsaid between them.
With an effort, Miriam got up to go. Jerry shook hands with the men, then hugged cousin Maddy and Aunt Rose. Last, he took Miriam's hands in his and said "Thank you for today and for supper. I don't remember the last time I enjoyed myself so much."
Miriam just said "You're welcome" then Jerry gave her a brief hug and a peck on the cheek.
"Good night, Miriam. See you tomorrow for church. We need to leave around nine."
"Good night, Jerry."
Miriam's cheek still tingled as she changed into the Pocahontas nightgown. Other things tingled too, things that she knew shouldn't be tingling. She knew it was just a friendly hug and kiss, like she was a cousin or something. There couldn't be anything more to it. Could there?
She said her prayers and gave special thanks for Jerry and Michelle.
Jerry didn't quite know what had gotten into him. Even if it was a friendly kiss, he was still married. He really needed to get John's advice on that. The smell of Miriam's hair and the cinnamon and lemon smell that wafted around her from the evening meal were making it hard to concentrate on his evening devotions. He finally gave up and sent up a truly heartfelt "Help me, Lord. I really need You to help me sort everything out." He turned out the lights and went to sleep, eventually.