Chapter Six
When they got to the Storey's house, they found that Teresa and the kids were already home, but John hadn't yet made it back. Another family, new to Jerry, was also there.
Teresa introduced everyone. The Wilsons had recently relocated from Ottawa to Halifax. Sandy was with the Navy, returning to the area after a six year posting at National Defence Headquarters. Jane was between jobs, but not really looking. They had two children aged three and five and Jane was gently rounded, leading Jerry to suspect that another was on the way.
Miriam volunteered to help Teresa with the lunch. Teresa said that it was a nice enough day, overcast and 21 degrees, that they would eat at the picnic tables in the back yard. Jerry and Sandy looked after the kids, pushing them on the swings and helping the little ones on the slide. Jane sat down with an audible sigh, providing another indication that she was expecting.
Several trips were needed to bring everything out. Salads, solomon gundy, sauerkraut, sliced meat and cheese, bread, condiments, soft drinks and chocolate milk were set on the tables. Teresa said she'd make tea or coffee for the adults after everyone had eaten. A small amount of chaos ensued as children were coaxed to abandon the sandbox and play structure to come eat something. After much persuasion, the children were fed and the adults served themselves. Then the children, except for the two youngest, raced back to the play structure. The two young ones toddled toward the sandbox.
"I should have gone home to change Mitchie into something more durable. I don't think those tights are going to survive the day." Jerry said.
"I don't know why you insist on putting her in a dress for church, as active as she is." Teresa responded.
"Well, you know, Mum would find out from Rose or Mrs. Conrad that she wasn't wearing proper church clothes and then she'd come over without calling and not say anything. She'd just measure Mitchie for another dress and bring it over before the next service." Jerry shook his head. "I can take it when she yells at me. It's the way she doesn't say anything when she disapproves that makes me feel like a worm."
John laughed and Miriam smiled.
"So Miriam, where are you from?" This was from Jane.
"A little town called Manzieh in Lebanon, not far from the Israeli border near the Golan Heights." Miriam replied.
“Have you gotten caught in any of the recent fighting?” Sandy asked.
"There have been a few attacks on Israel and some retaliation recently, but there hasn't been any sustained fighting since before I was born. We did have some skirmishes near us between the South Lebanon Army and Hezbollah when I was little. The Israelis pulled out when I was at McMaster so now the area is mostly under Hezbollah control." Miriam replied. "If there was a war with Israel, I'm certain it would be a target."
"What brings you here?" asked Teresa.
Miriam gave a condensed version of her story to everyone. "I suppose you could say I'm a refugee now. I certainly can't go back to Lebanon."
"Have you asked for asylum yet?" asked Sandy.
"Not yet. I only arrived on Thursday and haven't had time to think about it. Jerry thinks I should contact an immigration lawyer." Miriam looked at Jerry.
"He's probably right, but don't take the first one in the phone book. Talk to them first before agreeing to let them represent you. There are a few, not many of course, but there are a few that are just interested in your money." Jane said. "It's always better if the lawyer is actually interested in helping you. Any lawyer should do a competent job, but if it was me I'd talk to at least three before deciding."
"Like getting quotes on produce?" Miriam asked.
"Interesting comparison, but yes," said Jane.
"I was in the grocery business in Lebanon, helping my father before he died and I had to run away." Miriam explained.
"I might have used shark or ham as a comparison myself," said Sandy. The rest of the table smiled. "It would also be better for your case if your lawyer is a woman. Men can handle the case of course, but the women lawyers love to argue these sorts of cases."
"Why is that?" asked Miriam.
"Your case touches on Charter rights, like freedom of religion and freedom of association. Many of the women activists would be outraged that your uncle would have denied your right to marry whoever you choose. You have the right to choose whether and who to marry for yourself." Jane said. "I was a lawyer with the Department of Justice in Ottawa but I haven't applied to transfer my licence here. I’m taking a leave of absence until the kids are older."
"You shouldn't have any problem finding a good lawyer, but that can wait until tomorrow." Jerry said. He had been sitting across from Miriam alternating looking at her and supervising Mitchie.
The conversation turned to job prospects and careers and then to children. Jane confirmed that they were expecting another child in late September. Teresa and Miriam both looked instantly happy for Jane at the prospect of another child. John cleared some of the dishes into the kitchen and Jerry picked up a few more and followed him in.
"John, can I talk with you?" Jerry asked, sounding a bit nervous.
"Sure, Jerry, what's up?"
"I know it's only been a couple of days since Miriam's been here, but she and I go back to university together. I never, ever thought of her as someone I could have a future with because I knew that she was headed home to Lebanon after graduation. But now she's here and she just fills my thoughts, John."
"And this is a problem because...?"
"I'm still married to Annabelle. We never did get divorced, although she insisted on a legal separation. But now I want to... I know this sounds old fashioned, but I want to court Miriam. To see if we could be good enough together to be husband and wife. To see if we could find love together."
"Well, from a Christian perspective, if you divorce for one of the accepted reasons you can only remarry if you were the innocent party. If you divorce for any other reason you can’t be an innocent party. The accepted reasons are the four As: apostasy, abuse, adultery and abandonment. You are a believer, I know you well enough for that, and if you married her without examining if she was a believer, you can only put Annabelle aside if she abandoned you or was unfaithful or abusive." John said. "Was she?"
"Well, she did abandon us and she admitted to numerous affairs and didn't apologize for them or try to reconcile with me. When she comes down to visit Mitchie, she always finds someone down at the bar to spend time with. It was embarrassing last summer when she showed up with this biker from Toronto that she picked up at the tavern in Chester. Mitchie was scared of him and did not want to spend any time with Annabelle if he was there."
John thought for a while. "Well, on the face of it I don't see any impediment with you seeking a divorce. After we have a longer talk where I can write some notes, I'll write the bishop to explain the situation and see if he's okay with letting me remarry you in church. If he says no, and you remarry anyway, I won't be able to have you do anything in a formal leadership capacity in the parish. Of course, from a secular legal perspective, you can do what you need to. And like the rest of us sinners who try to follow Him you’re always welcome at His table."
"I'm afraid that I'd lose custody of Mitchie if I served divorce papers on Annabelle."
"Why is that?"
"Michelle isn't my biological daughter. Annabelle tricked me into marrying her so that Mitchie would have a father. But I can’t bear the thought of losing her."
"I heard gossip to that effect, but I knew that you'd tell me if it was important. I guess you need to find a good lawyer, too."
"I guess. Thanks for listening, John."
"Any time, Jerry."
"Thanks again."
Around four, Michelle was pried from the slide, throwing a pro forma tantrum at having to leave. Jerry bundled her into the car seat and drove home. Michelle was asleep as he pulled into the driveway. Michelle did not stir as Jerry put her into her bed for a nap. Miriam busied herself making a pot of tea in the kitchen.
"This has been a wonderful day, Jerry. I was sceptical about having services in the gym, but Jesus keeps his promises. When His people gather together He will be with them, no matter where they gather."
"It was a pleasure to see such joy and contentment in your face, Miriam. You looked so haunted when you appeared on Thursday."
"I felt content. Everyone has been so good to me. Well, except Mrs. Conrad, but I don't think anyone would be good enough for her. But she mostly avoided me and wasn't rude to my face."
"I had a talk with Father John. About us." Jerry suddenly looked very nervous.
"Us?" said Miriam, looking intrigued.
"Us. After talking with John, there is no reason I can't divorce Annabelle and remarry. It could be difficult, especially if she fights to keep Michelle, but I think I've finally had enough. When you go talk to your lawyer, I'll go talk to one of my own." Miriam was surprised.
"And..?" Miriam asked, sensing that Jerry wasn't quite finished.
“I would like to go out with you. As a couple. Together. You and me. To see if we are compatible..." Jerry was near panic and running on.
Miriam took Jerry's hand and said "I would like that, too. It is too soon to speak of either love or marriage, but I would like to spend more time with you."
"I'm not sure I know too much about this. I haven't gone on a real date with anyone since first year in university." Jerry looked into Miriam's eyes and saw her affection for him there.
"Why not?" asked Miriam basking in the warmth in Jerry's eyes.
"Because you were the only one I ever wanted to go out with, after I met you. None of the other women in IVCF held any appeal for me. And I wasn't interested in dating a non-Christian. So I resigned myself to just being your friend and hoped and prayed that you would decide to stay in Canada. I knew that your aunt and uncle would make sure you stayed single, but then you went home after graduation like you planned." Jerry got all that out in a rush.
"Later, when I got to Queen's one of my roommates tried to set me up for a date for that big party where Annabelle trapped me. Marnie was everything you aren't: blonde, tall and curvy and pretending to have no intelligence. Although she was a fellow Christian and nice enough, we had almost nothing else in common and she spent the evening chatting with another guy. I had one beer and it tasted too good and then the second and a third. I don't know how much I drank, but I woke up with a massive headache and Annabelle in my bed. I haven't had more than two beers in an evening since."
"Rose told me." Miriam said.
"Annabelle and I never went on any dates, ever. It was strictly a marriage of convenience, to give Michelle a father and a name although I had hopes that we could eventually be friends and partners. Maybe come to love each other. But it didn’t happen that way so I'm starting fresh." Jerry gave Miriam's hand a gentle squeeze.
"Jerry, I have less experience with this than you do. Good girls in South Lebanon do not go on dates except when being courted and then only if their parents have modern ideas. Elena dated Emile but neither Micheline nor Sara ever went on a date. Bad girls date, but my father would not let us ruin our reputation in town. My aunt and uncle in Hamilton were much worse than my father. I think the only time I was alone with a man for more than an elevator ride during the whole four years at Mac was the afternoon we shopped for the baklava ingredients for my aunt." She squeezed Jerry's hand. "I cannot think of anything I would like more than to get to know my best friend better."
A thump from upstairs followed by a wail interrupted them. Michelle appeared at the top of the stairs less than a minute later, bleary eyed and teary eyed, holding her hands out to her father for a hug and a cuddle. Jerry went up to the top of the stairs and picked her up. Michelle snuggled into her father's chest and gave a few shuddering sobs before calming down. Jerry sat back down at the kitchen table.
"Did you fall off your bed?" Jerry asked. Michelle's head bobbed up and down against Jerry's chest.
"That was scary," said Jerry gently. Michelle nodded again.
"Are you okay?" asked Jerry.
"Okay," said Michelle in a small pathetic voice as she tried to snuggle in closer.
"Would you like a drink?" asked Miriam.
Michelle nodded then said "Water, please."
Jerry started to shift Michelle so he could stand up, but Miriam quickly said, "I'll get it."
Drinking her water, and spilling a bit on her father, calmed Michelle considerably.
"Are you up to visiting Auntie Rose and Grandma Dotty?" Jerry asked Michelle.
"Yes." said Michelle, her small voice lacking confidence.
"It will be fun." Jerry picked up Michelle and carried her to her room for fresh clothes. They met Miriam on the front steps. Miriam walked beside Jerry and took his free hand.
"Couples in Canada hold hands when they walk together, don't they?" teased Miriam with a bright smile for both Jerry and Michelle.
"I suppose they do. What if people talk?" asked Jerry.
"They will always talk. Let them." Miriam replied.
"Oh..." Jerry stopped and let Michelle down.
Miriam looked at Jerry and said "What's wrong?"
"I just realized, I'm about to introduce my girlfriend to my mother." Jerry looked very nervous. "In Canada, this is a big step in courting. It shows that you have serious intentions about the other person. Which I do, in case you were worried."
"I'm not worried, nor should you be worried. If we are meant to be together, God will show us the way to make it happen. If not, you are still my best friend and I would like to meet your mother." Miriam squeezed Jerry's hand to try to reassure him.
Jan Schwartz appeared on her porch and sat down in an old rocking chair. "Evening, you three."
"Good evening, Mrs. Schwartz." Jerry replied.
"Hi, Miz Jan." Mitchie ran up the porch to get a hug.
Jan looked at their clasped hands and said "It appears that you might be closer friends than you were letting on, Mr. Ernst."
"My best friend asked if he could court me, and I said yes. So for now, I'm letting him hold my hand. Maybe if he behaves himself, he'll get a kiss goodnight." said Miriam in a teasing voice.
"Well, then. You treat her right, Jerry, or I'll help Rose set you straight."
"I certainly intend to treat her right, Jan." Michelle ran back down to take her father's other hand as they continued on their way to Rose's.
His mother was sitting on the front porch with Rose as they walked up hand in hand.
"Rose, I thought you said that Miriam wasn't his girlfriend," Dorothy said.
"Well, I knew they were very fond of each other from their university days together. The way they've been looking at each other I expected something would happen between them but I didn't expect anything this quickly. I should have, though."
Jerry, Miriam and Michelle came within earshot and Michelle raced ahead to hug her grandmother.
"Hi, Mom. I'd like you to meet Miriam Nadif. Miriam, this is my Mom, Dorothy."
"Pleased to meet you, my dear." Miriam released Jerry's hand to shake Dorothy's hand.
"It's good to meet you. I often wondered about his family. I saw you at the graduation, but it would have been awkward for my family if I came up to introduce myself. My uncle is very concerned with the family’s honour so I couldn't let on that my best friend was a man and a Christian. It was hard to ignore him, though."
"Rose told me a little bit about what you've been through." Dorothy turned to Jerry. "So when did you decide she was your girlfriend?"
"Daddy has a girlfriend? That's awesome Grandma. Who is she?" Michelle was bouncing up and down.
"It's Miriam, squirt." replied Jerry. "I asked if I could court her and she said yes. So I guess that makes her my girlfriend." Michelle looked at Miriam very seriously.
Rose said, "You better treat her proper, or you'll answer to me, young man."
Jerry and Miriam both snickered and then lost it. "Jeremiah Morris Ernst, stop laughing
right now and tell me what's so funny."
Miriam got herself under control first. "Mrs. Schwartz saw us holding hands on the way here. She told Jerry that she'd help you set things straight if he didn't treat me right."
"Jan would say that. But you do need to remember that, Miriam. We know you don't have any family here, so you let us know if you need anything from us. Now, Jerry, come help me get supper on the table. Mitchie, you can help me set the table." Rose held the door open and shooed Jerry and Michelle into the house.
Dorothy sat back down and motioned to Miriam to sit next to her. "I know you just dropped in out of nowhere, but I want to say thank you. Jerry hasn't looked this relaxed or full of purpose in years."
"He looked very tired when I knocked on his door last week." Miriam replied.
"He puts his whole life into his job and Mitchie. I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for him when Mitchie was a baby."
"Rose told me about your husband. It's hard when you lose someone that close to you. Both my parents are dead. Losing a husband you love must be as bad or worse."
"It wasn’t a surprise. He had cancer, so I had a long time to say goodbye to him. Didn't make the break any easier though. Rose tells me your mother died when you were fourteen and you had a newborn baby sister to take care of." Dorothy looked sympathetic.
"I think that's why I know what Jerry is going through with Michelle. I would do anything for Sara, but women don't have the freedom in Lebanon that I could have here. I always had to do what my father wanted, which was easy because he loved me and listened to me, and later what my uncle wanted, which wasn't easy at all. I know how hard it is for Jerry to do what he is doing and how much he appreciates what Rose does for him, even if he can't say it properly or often enough."
"Rose knows. She accepted Michelle right away. It's taken me a while to warm up to her, but she really is a sweet girl, unlike her mother."
"I cannot imagine abandoning my child, even knowing that someone like Jerry was going to take care of her." Miriam was still astounded by Annabelle's selfishness. "Mothers are not supposed to think of themselves first, it's not right." She let some of the anger she felt rise to the surface.
"I don't disagree, but think how much worse it would have been for Mitchie to be raised by her mother with a parade of men coming in and out of her life. Mitchie's much better off with Jerry, even if I couldn't see it at the time." Dorothy continued.
"Have you ever told him that?" Miriam asked.
Dorothy started to say something then stopped to think. "You know, I don't know that I ever said it in so many words. Maybe I should." She looked at Miriam. "Thank you. I hope that you and Jerry figure it out."
Rose called them in for dinner.
"Miriam, I plumb forgot. The only meat I cooked is pork roast, but I have some leftover chicken I could reheat." Rose looked crestfallen.
"The roast smells very good. Anyway, I'm a Christian, not a Muslim anymore. In Acts we were given permission to eat anything God provides. Because of the risk of parasites, I would not eat pork raised in a country where inspectors can be bribed or where you can’t trust the refrigeration. But this is Canada, not Lebanon, so I think I can trust that it won't make me sick."
Jack offered the grace and everyone tucked in.
Miriam took a small slice of pork with apple sauce along with some potatoes and peas. She took a small bite with the applesauce and a small bite without. "It is very good. Almost the same texture as a good roast of lamb. I think I like it better with the apple sauce, though."
Jack said, "Rose tells me that Jerry has decided to try to win your heart, Miriam."
"He looked so nervous when he asked me. I couldn't say no." She squeezed Jerry's hand to let him know that she was teasing him.
"Well, you're welcome to stay here with us until all of the immigration stuff is resolved. And don't worry about paying us either. We have lots of room. If you feel badly about it, you can help Rose with Mitchie or we can work something else out."
"That is very generous."
Rose said, "It's been nice to have a grown up around to talk to while Jack's at work, especially one with stories you haven't heard a hundred times before."
Dorothy said, "You’ll have to come down to Lunenburg to visit. I think it's a much nicer place to visit than Halifax. But I will admit that Halifax has better shopping."
Jerry didn't say much during the meal. He was still surprised by his own forwardness in asking Miriam to consider him and even more surprised that she said yes.
"Jerry....Jerry!" Rose was looking at him with fond exasperation. "You need to pay attention sometimes. I know that Miriam is lovely and all, but there's other people in the room. I was saying that we'd like some of that baklava you promised us. Dotty hasn't had any yet. Maybe you and Miriam can go over to your place and get some?"
Jerry shook his head and said, while blushing beet red, "That sounds like a good idea. I'll be right back."
Miriam, who was a little more aware of what Rose was offering, said "Wait for me, Jerry." She gave a winsome smile to Rose and Dorothy to say thanks.
Jerry figured it out when Miriam slipped her hand into his and realized that Michelle had not joined them. Miriam said, "It was very nice of Rose to give us an excuse to be by ourselves for a little while."
"How did you like today?" Jerry asked.
"It was one of the best of my life...so far. I was so nervous this morning. The first time I ever showed my bare arms or ankles in public was when I modelled those dresses for you at Frenchy’s. A couple of times this morning I thought I wouldn't be able to leave the house without changing, but when I got to church I realized that people were looking at my face and not my bare ankles. By the end of coffee time, I wasn't thinking about it at all."
"Lunch was great with all of the kids running around. I envied Jane a little. She looked so precious with her belly growing a baby."
Miriam swung Jerry around to face her. "And then my best friend asked me if I wanted to be courted." She reached up on tiptoes and pulled his face down to hers. "Kiss me nicely, please."
Jerry tensed up, then very gently kissed Miriam. A very tender, just getting to know you kiss, but a kiss nonetheless. Miriam felt her heart swell and she clung to Jerry's neck while she kissed him back. Then she dropped back down to her heels and said "I can't believe I did that. That was my first real kiss ever. I think I could get used to them pretty quickly."
"I'm glad you liked it. I did." Jerry smiled down at Miriam.
Miriam ducked out of Jerry's hug. Taking his hand, she started walking toward Jerry's house, her heart pounding double time. "We should get dessert."
The rest of the evening passed with small talk, fond glances and knowing looks. Michelle eventually crawled into Jerry's lap and started to fall asleep. "I guess it's time to go, squirt. Almost bed time."
"But I'm not tired." said Michelle through a yawn.
"Let's go." He got up from the sofa where he'd been sitting next to Miriam. She followed him to the hall. Michelle climbed down from her father’s arms to put her shoes on. Jerry reached for Miriam and wrapped her up in his arms. They each moved their head toward the other so it was impossible to say who began the kiss. It didn't last anywhere nearly long enough before Michelle was tugging on Jerry's pant leg.
"Okay, squirt, I guess it's time."
He turned back to Miriam. "Will I see you tomorrow?"
"Rose and I should be over after breakfast. You still have to work."
"See you tomorrow, then." Jerry thought about trying for one more kiss, but he was getting poked in the leg by an insistent Michelle.
"G'night, Mireeyum."
"Good night, Michelle. Did you want a kiss, too?"
Michelle nodded shyly. Miriam knelt down to give her a hug and a kiss. "Sleep well, little one." Standing, she said "Good night, Jerry. See you tomorrow morning."
"Good night, Miriam." Jerry bounced off the door frame as he left, trying to look at Miriam for as lo
ng as possible.
Miriam returned to the living room still wearing a wistful smile as she gazed out the window at Jerry and Michelle. All of the others looked at each other knowingly.
Dorothy got up and said, "Well, I should be off home. It was lovely to meet you, my dear. I thought Gert was exaggerating when she said you were beautiful, but I don't think she got the half of it. Call before you come down to Lunenburg and I'll make sure there's a meal waiting for you."
Miriam helped Rose clear the tea things from the living room while Jack turned on the TV to watch the late news. She and Rose made small talk while washing up. Then she said good night to both of them and went up to her room.
As she got ready for bed she replayed the day. She had not known that kisses could be so exciting. This must be what Saint Paul talked about when he wrote that it was better to marry than to burn with passion. She thought that Jerry was where her home would be, but she would be careful not to lose control. She was still just a tourist and Jerry was still married. Both of those needed to change before she could allow herself to hope for more than friendship.
As she pulled the covers around her, she said a long series of prayers. Thanks for Rose and Jack. Thanks for Jerry and Michelle. Thanks for St Michael's and her new church community. A request for His help to make everything come out right. A request for the humility to accept that His way might not be the way she would choose on her own. Finally she commended herself and her hopes into His hands. The memory of her first kisses and the stirrings of first passion put a smile on her face as she fell asleep.
Michelle fell asleep before Jerry could read to her. He got her stuffed into a nightgown and tucked into bed before heading to his bed. His concentration was better this evening as he did his devotions. He sent up an extra prayers for Miriam and Michelle. He prayed that they would both find good lawyers to help them through the minefields of the courts. He also prayed that Annabelle would not be a stumbling block for him in the path to a future with Miriam and Mitchie. And he prayed for Annabelle that she might also come to know Jesus.
As he lay in bed, he remembered his first fumbling confused kiss at a high school dance. It was nothing like the tender passion he'd shared this evening with Miriam. It was so hard to stop, but so necessary. He was trying, as Jack put it, to win her heart. Annabelle had taught him that it was very possible to win a body without any heart attached to it, even if he hadn't been the winner. He wanted all of Miriam and he was willing to wait.
He'd wondered what her lips would taste like but he couldn't really remember in the swirl of emotions that came when she reached up and asked him to kiss her. He enjoyed the feel of her body against his and the smell of her hair as she kissed him. She had kissed him. He fell asleep smiling with the wonder of it all.