“My sweet Mel. You’re going to admit you love me, even if you have to pull your hair out to say it,” I whispered, kissing her forehead.
After all, everything between us was a game of chess, and the key to winning when the game changes is to switch tactics. I had, and now checkmate was only one more play away.
All I had to do was complete Step four and she would have to say it. Once she did, we could be what we needed to be. However, I was going to need help, and sadly, that meant Neal.
FIFTEEN
“If there is no struggle,
there is no progress.”
~ Frederick Douglass
CORALINE
I watched him through the mirror as we both prepared for church. Like always, Declan was calm, collected, and deep in thought as he changed into the clothes I picked out for him. He seemed to be on autopilot. Truthfully, I think he had been on autopilot for a long time.
“I love you, Declan.” I smiled at him, causing him to stop and look at me oddly.
He walked over and kissed my cheek. “Me, too.”
On the outside I kept a smile plastered on my face even though I felt like screaming. He didn’t say it back. He used to say, “I love you more.” But that seemed like ages ago. Part of it was my fault—my habit. However, he was to blame as well. He stopped talking to me. He stopped making me part of his life. I just stood on the sidelines now, waiting for whenever he was drunk enough to want to have sex.
I brushed my hair and stared at myself, taking a deep breath before standing up.
“Are you ready?” he asked, trying to tie his tie. Even with my heels, I had to stand on my tiptoes to help him.
“Yeah.” I smiled for him again. I always smiled for him.
Nodding, he took my hand and led me out. With each passing moment, it became clearer and clearer what I needed, and it was Mel’s help.
DECLAN
I was going to hell. The moment I saw Melody step outside, I knew I was going to hell. I was breaking so many sins at once, and on a Sunday no less. One, I lusted after my cousin’s wife. Two, I was jealous of the type of relationship they had. And three, my sweet wife was standing right beside me all the while, unaware.
I cared for Coraline deeply. Looking at her, I couldn’t help feeling like a complete ass. She was so loyal and beautiful. However, she wasn’t the same full-of-life Coraline I remembered. She was so strong when I first met her, she would laugh so hard she would cry. Now . . . now I didn’t know what had fucking happened. Maybe she was scared of me. Maybe she had seen too many bloody shirts. Either way, she stopped being my Coraline a long time ago. Now I looked at Melody, wishing to God I could have one night, and it made me hate myself.
Liam was only now starting to understand how lucky he was. Melody was passionate. She enjoyed the job. She fucking wanted to be more involved in the job. Liam didn’t understand. Every time Neal and I tried to confess to Coraline or Olivia our sins, they would look at us as if we were monsters. We were monsters. We knew that. But our wives shouldn’t think of us that way. Melody was the opposite. During the wedding, she had congratulated Neal for passing her test.
She watched him put a bullet in a motherfucking Russian’s head from a helicopter and came over to say good job, and meant it.
“Declan?”
Smiling, I took Coraline’s hand, walking her to the car door before opening it for her. She looked at me oddly but I kissed her cheek. She smiled back like always as we took our seats. She held my hand as I looked out the window.
I wasn’t going to cheat on Coraline. I would never cheat on Coraline . . . physically. In my mind, I already had. This morning in the shower as I stroked myself, I already had. All I thought about was Melody’s wet—
“Declan!” Coraline giggled, looking down at my erection in my pants.
“Fucking shit.” I tried to adjust myself.
She stopped me and began to unzip me, but I grabbed her wrist.
“You don’t—”
“I want to,” she said, pulling me out of my pants. I jerked in her hands.
“Coraline—”
“Shh, baby,” she whispered before taking me in her mouth.
Instinctively, my head went back, and I heard the driver change the music to something louder. I trusted Sal. He wouldn’t dare speak a word.
I shivered when her tongue licked me. In my mind—because I was a fucking bastard—all I could see was Melody. In my mind, it was Melody kissing my cock, and it made me want to fuck her mouth. The moment Coraline . . . Melody took me into her mouth I grabbed her head. She sucked faster and faster as I thrust my dick into her mouth. Her beautiful brown eyes looked up seeing me coated in lust. I fucked the shit out of her mouth, groaning madly until I came deeply at the back of throat.
When Melody released me, I grinned like an idiot, enjoying how she looked as she licked me clean.
“Better?” the voice of Coraline asked, making me see clearly again.
I was going to hell. Damn it.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” I kissed her forehead as I put my dick back in my pants. What the fuck was wrong with me?
Melody was not my wife. Coraline was my wife, and Coraline was great. Fuck me, I was going to hell.
Taking Coraline’s hand, I tried not to think. I tried really hard not to think of her. I was going to figure out something to make Coraline and me better because she deserved better than this. I, as her husband, owed her better than this. I would be better than this.
I took her hand and kissed it.
“Ready?” I asked her. She nodded, stepping out of the car.
I would be better . . . for her.
SIXTEEN
“It is only if the murderer is a good man
that he can be regarded as monstrous.”
~ Graham Greene
MELODY
“I know you’re awake,” he said coldly, as he stepped in from the bathroom. Opening my eyes, I watched as he tied his tie.
“I wasn’t hiding the fact that I was. Is there a meeting I do not know of?” I replied, sitting up. It was six thirty-two in the morning. Why the fuck was he getting dressed at the ass-crack of dawn?
He sighed, bored, before turning around. “Yes. However, you do not need to concern yourself with it seeing as it is a personal one. The moment the conversation shifts to shooting puppies in the street, I will call you.”
Kill him. Cut his fucking balls off and shove them down his throat.
I could feel my eyebrow twitch at the tone of his voice. He was talking to me as if I was a fucking child.
“You—”
“As much as I enjoy our verbal assaults, Melody, I really do have to get going,” he said, walking toward the door. “I will meet you in the car for church. If you feel like ranting then, by all means, scream your head off.”
I didn’t even think. One moment I was trying to breathe, next thing I knew, my hand was under the pillow and I was firing at him. However, nothing happened. Instead, Liam shook his head.
“Gun under the pillow? I hope you didn’t think I was just going to leave it loaded,” he asked, ice dripping from his voice.
“You touched my gun!”
“I’ve touched more than your gun. Get over it,” he said, closing the door as he left.
The blood in my veins was boiling so badly, my skin was turning red.
Grabbing my phone, I tried not to yell when I heard the other voice on the line.
“Fedel, are you ready to redeem yourself?” I asked. I could almost hear him jumping out of bed.
“Yes, ma’am, anything,” he replied right away.
“Liam has a breakfast this morning. I want every goddamn detail. He sneezes, I want to know about it.”
“Of course, where is he?”
“I don’t fucking know! Do your job!” I screamed before hurling the phone at the wall, shattering it and the mirror it hit. Running my hands through my hair, I tried my best to breathe, but I was pissed off. I wanted to kill him. I
wanted to kill something! But I couldn’t—not now at least—so I stood still, breathing slowly, shutting out the world around me. I didn’t allow myself to think, just breathe. I wasn’t sure how long I stood still. All I knew was that my boiling blood was becoming cold.
“Ma’am.” Blinking, I came face to face with Adriana. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ve been like this for an hour and you need to get ready for mass.”
I stared at her before turning to the clock, and sure enough it was seven forty-seven. Nodding, I walked into the bathroom.
“Adriana, I need a new phone,” I said before stripping down and heading into the shower. As much as I enjoyed the warmth of the water as it beat against my skin, I needed to get a move on.
My father always said, never keep God waiting. When I stepped out, Adriana was already waiting with a towel.
“Adriana, you will not be going to Camp with us,” I told her as I dried out my hair.
“Did I do something to upset you?”
“No, I simply have another assignment for you,” I replied, dropping the towel and reaching for my underwear. “While we are gone, you are to train Coraline Callahan in hand-to-hand combat. She wants to learn how to shoot as well, but she will fail at it. Teach her the basics on knives. She may be good at that.”
Adriana handed me a blue dress with a white bow on the front to step into.
“How far am I to go, ma’am?” she asked. I knew she was worried about Declan.
Placing my earrings on, I thought for a moment. “Make sure any scars or bruises are not visible and that she treats them quickly. Give her safety knives first.”
She placed my shoes before me and nodded. “Is that all, ma’am?”
“Yes, and don’t go soft on her. Make sure she understands it only gets worse after Day One before it gets better,” I replied, stepping into my shoes before sitting down so she could place a little bit of make up on my face.
Before she could reply, there was a knock at the door.
“Enter,” I called out. Fedel walked in quickly with a camera in his hands.
“Good morning—”
“Did he see you?” I asked, stretching my hand out for the camera.
“No.”
As I looked through the pictures, I felt my anger return. He sat across from a blonde bimbo, leaning in close to her stupid fucking face.
“Her name is Natasha Briar. She attended the wedding with Amory. She came after Declan and Neal met him for breakfast. They spoke for a few moments, and when he headed toward the back, she followed. Twelve minutes later, he headed back into his car, where he then went to a boxing club in south end.”
Do not overreact, my mind screamed as my throat closed up.
Standing, I placed the camera down and grabbed my sunglasses along with my purse before walking out of the room. I wasn’t going to think or say anything until later. Right now, I just needed to breathe and stay calm. I would kill him, but not on a Sunday. I didn’t kill anyone on Sundays, even if I really wanted to. Stepping outside the doors, I watched as everyone spoke among themselves. I wasn’t sure how far away the location of Liam’s breakfast was, but he was back and speaking quickly to Neal. He stopped when his eyes caught mine.
Evelyn smiled. “You look beautiful, dear.”
“Thank you, Evelyn, as do you,” I said as I walked toward Liam’s Audi. His driver held the door open, and I sat inside.
When Liam stepped in, newly showered and dressed, he didn’t bother looking at me. Instead, he focused on his phone. In my mind, all I saw were the photos, and it made me want to stuff the phone down his throat.
“Remember to pretend as if you care about anything. There is always a chance for a photo of us to be taken.”
Fuck you.
Nodding, I looked out the window to see the same church we had gotten married in, only a block away. I did my best not to think about my wedding. It only reminded me of my father. When he took my hand, but I flinched away, and he smiled sadly, shaking his head before tightening his grip.
“Do what you do best and lie,” he whispered as he helped me out of the car. Sure enough, there were a few photographers. You would think they would have more respect. We were going to church for God’s sake.
Sighing, I took off my sunglasses the moment we stepped inside, looking around again at the beautiful and grand cathedral that mirrored many of the ones I loved in Europe.
“You really do look beautiful, Mel.” Coraline smiled at me, but I could tell she was more excited about her future than she was about me.
“Thank you, Cora,” I said, smiling back. Olivia gave me a glare before taking Neal’s hand and walking deeper into the church.
I bit my tongue to keep from saying something rude in God’s house. However, when my eyes met that of a blonde in a pink, too-short-for-church dress, I felt the floodgates open and a smile spread over my lips. She walked into the bathroom, and no one else seemed to notice her. Not even Liam as he spoke with Neal, again.
Looking up, I smiled. Thank you, Jesus, for this gift. “You all go in. I will meet you in a moment.”
Liam eyed me carefully. “We should go in together. My mother wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Then your mother will just have to deal with it. I’m heading to the ladies room. I’ll be right back.”
I sighed loudly. He had to fight me on everything. Coraline stepped forward, but I glared at her before she could dare volunteer to join me. I handed Liam my purse and turned away from him. He rolled his eyes before walking in after Neal and Olivia.
My pulse quickened when I stepped into the bathroom, pushing the wooden door open. There, of course, stood Natasha, adding more lipstick to her Botox-filled lips. The way she looked at me when in the door closed behind me told me all I needed to know. She had no idea what type of person I was.
I smiled at her, washing my hands. “Hi.”
She smirked. “Well, if isn’t the infamous Mrs. Callahan.”
“Do I know you?” I asked innocently.
She whipped her golden hair over her shoulder twice, and I wanted nothing more than to rip it from her head.
“You should,” she said, giving me a fake frown. “Look, I’m not trying to hurt you and you seem sweet . . . a little too sweet, actually. But you need to know. Liam and I were something before you got married. I know this is just some arranged marriage. He told me so. It won’t last, sweetheart. Like I said, you’re sweet, but Liam doesn’t need sweet. He needs a real woman.”
“And you’re that real woman?”
She smiled. “He doesn’t know it yet, but yes, I am. I know how to give him pleasure like no one else. He came every time my mouth was on him. He begged at night for me. He made me come over and over again. We went at it like animals. But then he would make sweet, slow, and passionate lov—”
Before she could finish, I grabbed her by her stupid blond hair and slammed her face against the mirror. She screamed, letting out a cry of pain as the glass shattered around her head. It almost looked like a spider web . . . a bloody spider web. Pushing her face harder against the broken glass made her cry out again.
“Please . . .”
“I think you have said enough,” I whispered, moving slower to her. Blood poured from the side of her face as I met her eyes. She whimpered, struggling against me, but I held her still, pulling on her hair. Tears spilled from her eyes as she opened her mouth to scream.
“You scream, I will bash your skull in, you hear me?” I glared at her, and her eyes widened in fear.
“I’m—”
“Shut the fuck up, you five cent bitch,” I said before she dared to lie and tell me how sorry she was. “My husband is off the market. You should be ashamed of yourself. We’re in God’s house . . . the very church we were married in, and you are thinking of trying to have an affair. You are a disgusting little whore. How many daddy issues could you possibly have?”
“I’m s-sorry. I j-j-just . . . I just love him,” she sobbed. She
was an idiot, for sure. I wanted to take her head and bash it in further, but I didn’t kill on Sundays.
Peeling her face from the mirror and grabbing another fistful of hair, I pulled her into the bathroom stall. She fought against me, but it made me pull harder, throwing her against the stall before punching her in the nose. She gasped out, sliding down onto the floor and gripping her bloody nose as she sobbed. Kneeling in front of her, I made sure she could see me clearly.
“What were you doing with my husband this morning?”
“Fuck you, you scary bitch.”
“Natasha.” I sighed. “I’m going to ask again nicely. What were you doing with my husband this morning?”
“Sucking his sweet dick.”
“Wrong answer.”
Grabbing her head, I shoved it into the toilet. Her arms swung around like a mad woman, but I pinned them down quickly with my other hand. She screamed into the bowl before I let her out.
Giving her a moment to cough up water, I smiled.
“Now, Natasha, were you really sucking my husband off this morning or are you trying to piss me off?” I asked her, sweetly.
“Please . . .”
I dumped her head back into the water again, and this time, she struggled hard but sadly for her, I had pinned down men twice her size. When she stopped struggling, I let her go and she ripped her head from the toilet falling back onto her ass as she coughed and cried.
“Natasha . . .”
“I knew Liam liked to eat at Remy’s on Sundays, so I waited for him. When I came up to him, he told me to leave or he would drag me out himself. I-I lied about having information about Vance and Amory. I told him I could only tell him if he followed me out back. I made up some story and somehow he knew. He tried to leave, but I tried to kiss him and he grabbed me by my neck. He called me a whore and yelled at me to stay away or next time he would kill me. He said the only reason he wasn’t doing it now was because it was Sunday.”