I take a sip as Hensley picks up the photos and sits down. She actually looks at me with empathy and says, "I get that you care for Ryker. He's just one of those men who sort of sweep you up. But I still love him. And I believe deep down, he still has love for me. Now, I don't know if this will work or not, but I think he and I should at least have one stab at trying to rebuild our home if we can. I think we owe it to Ruby and Violet to try."
"And you can't do it if I'm in the picture?" I whisper.
"No. I can't do it if his attention is on you."
I'm not going to lie. I'm overwhelmed by Hensley's plea. She makes a great argument for me to back the hell off. But I don't forget Ryker's face when he told me he loved me. That was real. That was just a few days ago.
But what about the girls?
Am I what's best for them? Or do they deserve to have a chance for their family to get put back together?
And the biggest question of all...what does Ryker want?
He tells me he wants me. He said his marriage is done. Over. No more.
But is it? With those memories and photos of memories never letting anyone forget for a single fucking moment that he was very happy with Hensley?
I'm on the verge of telling Hensley to go for it. That I cede. That I'll crawl away and be lonely and depressed so she can take a stab at fixing her marriage. But then she makes a mistake.
She still has that empathetic look on her face, but she utters the wrong words. "And Miss Brannon...I don't have to tell you how inappropriate your relationship is with Ryker. It would be disastrous if this got out to the public."
My eyes flare with surprise.
She did not.
She did, didn't she?
She. Just. Threatened. Me.
So stupid. She had me. I admit...she played my heartstrings and played them well.
But no one--and I repeat no one--plays with my lady balls. That just won't do.
I stand from my desk and I give Hensley the sweetest, most understanding look I have in my arsenal. And I know it comes off good because she reacts by smiling at me.
"Hensley...you make a very powerful argument. I think I'm really starting to see what's at risk here."
She smiles at me bigger.
"What I'd like is for you to give me a few days. I need some time to come to grips with this so I can make this right."
Her teeth are nearly blinding as she shoots me a victory grin. "Oh, Miss Brannon...you don't know how much I appreciate that."
I clasp my hands in front of me and nod at her kindly. "Thank you for coming by, but I actually have another appointment I have to get ready for."
She understands my dismissal, but she has what she wants. "Um...okay. I'll just lie low for a few days, let you have a chance to work stuff out. Make your goodbyes and all."
Yeah, that's not going to happen, lady.
I nod and smile at her again. "Best of luck, Hensley."
I wait until she's gone and the door closes before I collapse into my chair. I blow out such a huge breath of frustration that my heavy bangs lift briefly before fluttering back down.
Did that seriously just happen?
I almost shudder at the thought that I was this close--I cue up a mental image of the tip of my finger and thumb held just a millimeter apart--to giving in to that woman. She had me feeling so damn bad that I almost gave up Ryker to her. Had she not made the mistake of adding a little threat onto the end, she would have had me.
But the one thing I've learned in business is that you don't go overboard in your sales pitch. She came on too strong at the end, which means that she didn't believe in her product. She was trying to sell me a load of sweet family memories, and if they were really as valuable as she made them sound, she would have never needed to add the threat of exposure on the end.
That meant she was really selling me a pack of lies.
Don't get me wrong. She clearly had some wonderful times with Ryker. I don't doubt for a minute there was real love there. But her credibility was shot when she tried to coerce me, and I realized with brutal clarity that I needed to trust in Ryker's feelings for me. And let's not forget...she was the one who cheated on him. She's the one who caused that marriage to fail.
So this is what I am going to do.
I'm going to trust that Ryker loves me. I'm going to trust myself that I love him. I'm going to trust him when he told me not to worry about Hensley, and from what I just observed, I doubt she has her own pair of lady balls to piss Ryker off by outing us.
I take another deep breath. It's all going to be okay.
I pull out my phone and send a quick text to Ryker. Any chance you can do dinner at my house? 6 p.m.? We need to talk.
Zack and Kate will be able to keep the girls, and Ryker knows I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. And this is important. I need to tell him about Hensley's visit, and that I almost caved. I need to let him know, however, that I wised up quickly and that I want to push forward right alongside him. I know he thinks I'm doubting all of this since I've put him off the last few days, so it's time for me to ease any doubts.
Ryker sends me a text back. Sure. Kate will watch girls. Everything okay?
I smile as I tap out my response. Everything is perfect. Can't wait to see you.
Opening my desk drawer, I place my phone in there so I'm not tempted to continue texting back and forth with him. I actually do have important work to get finished today. Namely, my meeting with Claude Amedee, which is in an hour. We set it for late morning, wanting to hit him as soon as the team got back into Raleigh. Frank is going to sit in on the meeting with me, and I'm very thankful, because I'm a little intimidated by Claude and his antipathy toward me.
Add to that that both Alex and Ryker have warned me about this guy and I'm expecting a blowup when I release him. While I don't think he's stupid enough to get physical, having Frank there puts my mind at ease somewhat. Still, I hate confrontation like this. It's a time and energy suck, so I only hope my release buyout is enough to assuage his anger.
Chapter 25
Ryker
Zack, Alex, Garrett, and I sit at the bar in Houlihan's as we eat lunch and have a few beers. No practice today, as our next game isn't until Wednesday, and honestly, I'm thankful for the break.
Thankful to just be sitting here with my friends, shooting the shit.
Just normal, everyday shooting the shit, and it's a welcome relief from all the stress of the last few days.
Hensley busting me and Gray.
Gray freaking out to the point I could feel her withdrawing.
Hensley threatening to out Gray and me.
Me threatening Hensley.
Keeping the fact Gray and I love each other a secret.
It's just one thing after another and rivals even the most dramatic soap opera on TV. It's gotten me so fed up with it all that I put some feelers out to see what might be available to me if I retire. My agent is working on it right now.
"Word on the grapevine is that Amedee is getting cut today," Garrett says as he swirls a french fry in some mayonnaise.
Just...gross.
Alex mutters, "Good riddance."
I happen to know for a fact that he is getting released today. Gray told me this weekend when we talked, and I know she's been nervous about it. I'm thankful Frank is going to be in the meeting with her.
"It's the last thing that needs to happen for this team to really gel," Zack says thoughtfully.
And that's true. Since our team meeting almost a month ago, we have become greatly unified. Most everyone on the team has turned their back on Amedee, realizing that his brand of poison is making us suck. Only Sam Larson has remained true to him, and I believe that's just because the guy is a follower and not a leader. As such, I'm betting he becomes a free agent next year.
In defense of Gray, Amedee deserves to be released regardless of what an asshole he is. His numbers have just steadily declined over the last four weeks, and I think that's because while the t
eam has unified, he's remained on the outs. Mentally, he's a mess out on the ice. He doesn't trust his teammates, they don't trust him, and his numbers reflect it. I expect during practice tomorrow you will see the final tear in our fabric mend completely now that he's gone.
A text buzzes my phone in my pocket. I pull it out and see it's from my agent. NBC and ESPN highly interested in you.
Hmmm. That's something. At least it lets me know I have options if I retire, and man...that's going to be a bitch of a decision to make.
If I continue to play like this the rest of the season, I know the Cold Fury will renew my contract. That means Gray and I will have to keep flying below the radar, and that does not sit well with me. Or, I could make the decision to just retire and start a new career. That would give Gray and me freedom to be in love right in front of the entire world.
I have to say, physically and mentally I don't feel ready to retire. Once I do, it's over. My hockey career becomes a thing of the past. But I feel I have a lot more to give this team and the league, and that places a huge burden on me. Love of Gray or love of hockey? Which one is more important?
I text back, Thanks for update, and then put my phone on the bar.
"Man, this is great," Garrett says after taking a sip of his beer. "Just hanging out and chilling. You know what we should do...a guys' night out. Let's just stay here and drink all afternoon and into the night. We just don't hang out the way we used to."
"Speak for yourself," Alex says with soft punch to Garrett's shoulder. "I'd rather spend the evening with Sutton over you guys any day of the week."
We all laugh, because it's almost sickening how smitten Alex is with his wife. Of course, I could say the same for Garrett and Olivia and Zack and Kate.
Oh, and it's a secret...but Gray and me.
"Come on," Garrett presses us. "Yes, we all have our women at home, but our poor buddy Ryker doesn't. Let's take him out and show him a good time tonight."
"As much as I hate to burst your bubble," I tell Garrett with a sideways look, "I have plans tonight."
"With who?" he throws right back at me.
And for the life of me, my mind goes blank. What do I say?
I'm guessing Garrett is reading the look of panic on my face, because he leans closer and says, "Oh...Ryker has someone he hasn't told us about."
I hear Zack cough behind me but I ignore him. I need to put this to rest right now. "I only meant that I've got plans with Violet and Ruby tonight," I say smoothly, and hope that sounds credible.
"Whatever," Garrett says, and then chucks a french fry at me. "You're going out with a woman. I can tell by the look on your face. Or a man, whatever. I don't care which, but you're getting some action."
Alex and Zack are snickering over the way Garrett goads me, but I just wave him off. "I'd like to indulge in your fantasies, but if a tea party with two little girls is getting some action, then that's what's happening in my life tonight."
Doubt now creeps onto Garrett's face, and he is right on the verge of believing me. I think I have disaster averted as I keep my eyes pinned on him. He gives me a look of acceptance just as my phone starts ringing. It's set to vibrate so it rattles along the knobby wooden bar top and both my eyes and Garrett's go down to it at the same time.
And fuck me ten different ways standing.
It's Gray calling.
And if it's not bad enough that he can see the words Gray Brannon on my caller ID, her picture takes up my entire screen. It's one I snapped of her while I straddled her in my bed. I had just got done tickling her and her face was flushed and her eyes glazed from laughing so hard, but her hair was all spread out and she looked so beautiful as she smiled up at me I had to take a picture.
And as Garrett stares at it, there is no mistaking that Gray and I have something personal going on.
"Fuck," I mutter, and grab the phone to answer it.
Garrett's eyes are huge and he says, "No fucking way."
"What?" Alex exclaims, and tries to look around Garrett to me.
I answer the phone with a terse, "Hang on just a second."
Covering the phone with my hand, I say to Garrett, "Not a word about this."
I turn to Zack and say, "Might as well fill them in."
Zack nods and I pull the phone up to my ear as I get off my stool and start walking toward a more private place to talk. "Sorry about that," I tell Gray. "Just getting some privacy."
"Who are you with?" she asks curiously.
"Alex, Zack, and Garrett."
"Now that sounds like a party." She gives a soft laugh and I have a brief moment of exquisite ache for her.
"How did it go with Amedee?" I ask as I step outside the door of Houlihan's. It's relatively mild outside for the first of March and this definitely gives me the best privacy.
Gray sighs into the phone and she sounds weary. "It did not go well at all."
"Want to talk about it?"
"Tonight. When you come over. And bring a big bottle of wine because I'll need it," she says. She pauses a moment, and then murmurs, "I miss you."
Heart swells, thumps hard. Beats madly for this woman.
"I miss you too. I'll see you at six. With a bottle of wine."
"We'll grill some steaks I have, sound good?"
"Sounds fantastic," I tell her as I glance at my watch. Only three more hours. I can contain myself until then.
I head back into Houlihan's after I disconnect from Gray and find Alex and Garrett both turned in their stools and staring at me with huge grins as I walk up.
"Dude...banging the general manager," Garrett says with awe. "You are a stud."
Alex grins and claps me on the back. "You know how to pick 'em."
"Shut the fuck up," I mutter at both of them, but secretly I'm pleased. I can hear it in their voices. They're happy for me.
"So this is all top secret, right?" Alex says.
I sit down on my bar stool and pick up my beer. "Yeah. At least until I can decide what to do at the end of the season. I'm thinking of retiring."
"What?" Zack exclaims, shooting off his stool to come stand next to me. "You cannot fucking retire, Brick. You are playing the best hockey of your life."
"But I can't be with Gray and be on this team. Not publicly, anyway, and I'm tired of fucking hiding it."
"Wait a minute," Garrett with his eyebrows drawn in confusion. "Why can't you be with her and be on this team?"
"It's a conflict," I say automatically. "She hired me."
"But not when you two were fucking, right?" Alex says, and I wince...crass words and all. "I mean, Zack said it didn't start until December, right?"
"Yeah, but she's my boss," I point out.
"But she's not your coach. She doesn't decide if you play or not. The most she's responsible for is renewing your contract when the time comes. But there's nothing at this moment that's a conflict," Garrett points out.
And I have to admit...that's a damn good point.
As of this moment, Gray has no bearing on my play with the Cold Fury. In fact, I've watched her repetitively be very "hands off" when it comes to who has ice time. She leaves that up to the coaching staff, showing she has the confidence to delegate and faith in them to choose right. Another reason she's a great leader.
"But eventually she will have to become involved in his contract negotiations," Alex points out resolutely. "People will say that she can't be fair. It will cause dissension in the front office and through the team."
"Exactly," I say glumly. "So, unless I get traded to another team or retire, there's no public outing of us just yet."
"And if you get traded," Zack says, "then you're dealing with a long-distance relationship."
I tilt my bottle of beer back, drain it, and set it on the bar. "Christ, this sucks. Love shouldn't have to be this hard."
Garrett starts laughing, almost hysterically, and I turn to look at him with one eyebrow cocked. "What's so funny about that?"
He snickers and then gives me a
n apologetic grin. "Actually, man, if it's real love...it's supposed to be hard, in my opinion. That's because you feel deeper. Things are more important. The risks are greater and the rewards surpass anything you could hope for. You think shit like that comes easy?"
"True enough," Alex says. "We've each had our obstacles to get by and not one of us would have kept at if we didn't love our women. Love drives you past the hard shit."
"I think you guys have taken one too many pucks to the head," I mutter, but I know they're right. Shit with Hensley got really hard and what did we both do? We cut and ran. Both of us. She ran to another guy and I ran to a new life down here in Raleigh.
But the thought of cutting Gray loose? Of possibly having to choose her or my career, which may be the toughest decision of my life? I guess I see why it's so hard.
"What do you love more, man?" Zack asks quietly. "Hockey or Gray? And if it's hockey, that's cool, dude. You know, you and Gray have only been together a few months. You've had hockey your whole life."
I don't even have to think about an answer. It comes to me immediately, and I know deep down in my gut I'm choosing correctly. I know in the marrow of my bones that Gray Brannon is the right choice. I've had my time in the spotlight on the ice. I've reached all the goals I could possibly want to achieve in this career. But Gray is a once-in-a-lifetime woman. There's no way I could ever pass her by to chase a few more years in the net.
No fucking way.
"I can see our boy has made his decision," Garrett says as he holds his beer up in salute.
I blink in surprise at him.
"Dude, it's all over your sappy face. I expect we'll be hearing a retirement announcement soon," he says with confidence.
"Brick," Zack says, and clasps me by the shoulder. "I don't want this team to lose you, but I have to say...it's what I'd do if I was in your skates."
"Thanks, buddy," I say, feeling a little choked up. It feels like I'm already saying my goodbyes.
"Let's have a toast," Alex as he raises his beer.
"Hold up," I say waving the bartender over. "I need another beer."
When we all have our drinks in hand, Alex stands up and looks at me. "You've been an inspiration to this team, Ryker. I may be the captain, but your veteran experience and wisdom is what pulled everyone together last month. I have no clue where we're headed in the playoffs--"
"We're going all the fucking way, baby," Garrett chimes in.