Georgie struggled to catch her breath before turning towards the skunks to unleash a super bark. Unfortunately, the skunk spray had inflamed her throat, making it impossible for her to bark. All that came out of Georgie’s mouth was a quiet gurgle.
As the Terriers backed away from the skunks, Vascodor snarled in his fake Portuguese accent. “Come back and take your next dose of us!”
Like the others, Jackie’s eyes were burning and his vision was obscured. But no amount of pain was going to stop him from getting at the skunks. So Jackie sped towards where he thought the skunks were hiding. He ran with speed, commitment and blind anger. Which meant that he was running as fast as he could when he smashed into the fence.
Jackie was only slightly hurt and had little trouble chewing through the fence. He did however have trouble finding the skunks. Due to the burning in his eyes, he couldn’t keep them open for more than a half-second at a time.
“Where, where, WHERE ARE THEY?!” screeched Jackie.
“I don’t know!” barked back Duffy who was desperately wiping his eyes on a small patch of grass next to the parking lot. “But when I find them, they are going to be unbelievably sorry!”
“Aqui eu estou!” (or “here I am!”) sneered Vascodor. “E eu nao sou ainda pesaroso!” (“And I am not sorry yet!”).
He then shot another load of spray at Jackie.
“I’m hit! I’m hit!! I’M HIT!!!” shrieked Jackie.
The sound of Jackie in pain was too much for Molly. She struggled to her feet and took a number of deep breaths.
“I’m coming Jackie!” she growled before taking off at full speed...
...in the opposite direction of the skunks. The blinded Terriers listened intently in order to hear Molly plow into the skunks and teach them a lesson about messing with dogs.
And they listened. And listened. And listened...
Finally, they heard a smash and a crash as Molly ran into a lamp post that fell onto the road.
Molly was howling in pain as she staggered back towards the others.
Buck was fed up. Even though he had taken a big load of spray in his mouth and face, it was time for him to punish the skunks. His throat was raw, his eyes burned and his mouth was throbbing, but he stalked forward like a predator about to crush its prey. The skunks watched in fear as Buck bared his teeth and snarled. Vascodor felt a chill run down his spine. He turned to his Mamiferoes de Fedor and gave the order:
“Tiro neles outra vez!”
But the skunks couldn’t “shoot again.” They were out of spray, and they realized that Buck wasn’t going to wait around for their scent glands to refill. So Vascodor and his gang decided to scare away Buck with their other defense mechanism. This turned out to be a lot less effective than their noxious spray. Even if Buck wasn’t so angry, it’s doubtful that the sight of a line of skunks stamping their feet would have scared him in the least.
When he was within a few feet of the rodents, Buck inhaled deeply and prepared to unleash a blast of super breath. Buck winced in pain, as his throat still burned from the skunk spray. The pain only made him angrier.
“What are you doing cao?” Vascodor’s voice was more pleading than questioning.
“It’s called getting even,” drawled Buck.
The skunks were now stamping their feet faster and faster in a desperate attempt to scare Buck. It didn’t work, and he unleashed what could be called a “super breath.” Except that what flowed out of his burning, irritated throat wasn’t a breath at all. It was a brown, lava-like flood that instantly incinerated the skunks.
A moment later, Sasquatch fluttered over and was amazed to see that all that remained of their recently formidable enemies was a large puddle of skunk DNA. That, and the horrible odor that clung to the Terriers.
But as bad as they smelled, they had managed to defeat a well-organized and truly dangerous opponent. Sasquatch smiled as he realized that he was part of a formidable team.
DUMPSTER OF DOOM
With the skunks taken care of, the five stinking Super Terriers and the aromatic Cardinal marched and flew towards the rear doors of the grocery store.
A crashing noise from one of the huge garbage dumpsters stopped them in their tracks. Duffy used his super vision, and saw three raccoons in the dumpster foraging through the grocery store’s trash. Nothing unusual about that, except that the raccoons were piling up the garbage instead of eating it.
“I see three raccoons in there. It’s another ambush!” warned Duffy.
The Terriers assumed attack positions as they faced the dumpster.
“Hold on!” cheeped Sasquatch. “The owl told me the cats were traveling with eight raccoons.”
“So where, where, WHERE are the others?” asked Jackie.
“We’ll get them later,” said Buck. “Let’s deal with these ones first.”
“We know you’re in there!” Molly barked at the dumpster. “Give up now if you know what’s good for you.”
A pair of black rimmed eyes rose above the rim of the dumpster.
“We will never surrender,” squeaked a nervous voice.
“I know that raccoon,” growled Georgie. “I chased him out of my backyard last week.”
“And now... now it’s time for payback!” the Raccoon taunted as his two partners rose from the trash.
Before the Terriers could hurl a snappy comeback at them, the raccoons began to throw mushy brown bananas, green loaves of bread and calcified salami chubs. Raccoons’ paws are kind of small, so they had trouble throwing their weapons, and the hailstorm of rotting food was easy for the Terriers to avoid.
“Lets get, get GET them!” snarled Jackie as bottles of expired sunscreen exploded all around him.
As has been mentioned before, Molly was usually a calm, levelheaded Bull Terrier. But something about being pelted with garbage by raccoons changed her. Molly ducked a package of broken linguine sticks and began to growl. None of the other Terriers had ever seen her quite this angry.
“I will not take this from a raccoon!”
Molly’s rage turned to action as one of the raccoons in the dumpster threw a dented tin of sardines. Molly snarled and ran faster than a Saluki towards the dumpster.
The other Terriers looked away as Molly slammed into the dumpster at full speed. There was a tremendous BAM!!! and three raccoons screeched in unison (and in fear) (AND in raccoon language) as the garbage-filled dumpster rose into the air.
Considering that it was a dumpster, it looked fairly graceful as it reached its apex high above the vacant lot behind the grocery store. As it began its descent though, it quickly stopped looking graceful. That’s when the dumpster spun over and dropped bags of garbage and rotting vegetables.
Inside the dumpster, the three raccoons had to make a quick decision. Unfortunately for them, they had trouble choosing a plan of action.
The First Raccoon grunted that they had a better chance of survival if they dove clear of the dumpster. The Second One yelled that the First Raccoon was a “flea-filled fool” and that the layers of trash would help to cushion the impact. The Third Raccoon could see the point of each of the arguments. But somehow, he thought there had to be a third way to do things. Maybe if they checked the dumpster for empty juice boxes, they could build themselves crash-protective suits that would...
The dumpster slamming into the ground made it hard for him to finish his thought. The impact was so strong that it formed a crater in the soft ground of the vacant lot.
The noise of the crashing dumpster echoed through the neighborhood for a moment. Then, all was silent except for the sound of Molly’s angry panting.
Buck, Georgie, Duffy and Jackie walked over to their leader. Sasquatch fluttered overhead. Without a word, the six heroes-to-be walked and flew past the crashed dumpster and towards the rear entrance of the store.
At last the time had come for them to confront the cats.
INTO THE STORE
It was up to Georgie to get them i
nto the store. She took a deep breath and unleashed a loud, sharp bark that sent the door flying off its hinges and far into the store.
“Be careful,” said Molly. “Cats are a lot smarter than raccoons.”
“But they aren’t as smart as Terriers!” shouted Georgie.
With that, the S.P.O.T.S. rushed into the darkened building that they had so often dreamed about. The five of them took a deep breath, as they were sure that the wonderful food smells of the store would be stronger than the putrid skunk aroma that seemed to be stuck to them.
But as they inhaled, the smell receptors in their brains registered the scent of the liquid laundry detergent that covered the floor. Before they could figure out the significance of this smell, the Terriers were sliding across the slick, soapy floor towards the frozen food section. When they hit the freezer cases at full speed, the Terriers yelped in surprise and outrage. None of them imagined that their entry into the holiest shrine in the dog world would be quite so painful.
“The cats did this!” growled Duffy, proving for the first time in a number of chapters that he had a gift for stating that which is REALLY obvious.
As the Terriers struggled to their feet they heard a familiar and unwelcome voice.
“Tho, you made it patht our thentrieth.” It was Peter. And he was close. Real close.
“Hey cat, cat, CAT!” yelled Jackie. “What are ‘thentrieth’?”
Peter hissed angrily. It was up to Molly to clarify that Peter meant to say “sentries.” Which is a fancy way of saying “guards.”
Jackie was still confused. All he’d seen were skunks and raccoons. As Molly patiently explained that the skunks and raccoons were the guards, or “thentrieth,” a bottle of olive oil crashed on the floor in front of them. The floor was even more slippery and was now also covered with broken glass.
“We can’t walk on glass,” said Duffy. Which again, wasn’t exactly breaking news.
Another bottle exploded nearby. The Terriers would have been trapped if Molly didn’t have an idea.
“Sasquatch...” she whispered to the bird. “The cats can see in the dark, but we can’t. We need to even things up.”
Sasquatch smiled and nodded as he flew off to find the light switch.
From atop the Italian food shelves, Peter hissed down at the dogs.
“Admit it: You sthmelly, sthuper sthtupid Terrierth are no match for uth”.
After a lengthy and uncomfortable silence, Peter finally realized that none of the Terriers would ever admit such a thing. Unable to think of any further taunts, Peter threw one more bottle of oil before running off to supervise the looting of the store.
Meanwhile, Sasquatch was flying in the dark, desperately trying to find the light switch without being noticed by the cats. Unfortunately for him, Cardinals, like dogs, have trouble seeing in the dark. After flying into a hanging sign that promised “Lowest Prices EVER!!” Sasquatch let out a “cheep” of frustration.
Come to think of it, he may have been commenting on the sign’s slogan by saying that the store’s prices were “cheap.”
In any event, he was lucky that either the “cheep” or the “cheap” wasn’t noticed by the cats. Luckier still was the fact that it was heard by a family of starlings that lived on a beam near the ceiling.
Daddy Starling quietly called out to Sasquatch; “Who’s there?”
Sasquatch fluttered over to their nest and introduced himself. He then told the birds that he was trying to help a bunch of dogs get the cats out of the store.
Like all birds, Daddy Starling hated cats. So he was more than happy to help. He led Sasquatch to the light switch at the front of the store. The two birds worked together, pecking at the switch in unison until they finally got the lights turned on.
As light filled the store, the two birds beheld an incredible sight. Five raccoons were tied to the front of shopping carts that were being loaded by Patches, Precious, Puss Puss and Petunia. The cats were using their huge, gross tongues to drop boxes, bottles and cans into the carts. Peter stood with his back arched in front of the raccoons. He was hissing wildly to keep them in line.
“Lighth or no lighth. You sthtay here until I thay tho!”
Sasquatch and Daddy Starling exchanged a shocked look.
“The cats are in control of the store,” moaned Daddy Starling. “What kind of a world is this?!”
“I have to tell the team!” chirped Sasquatch.
Before he could take off, a flying hairball whizzed between the two birds’ heads.
“You birds are going nowhere!” snarled Patches as he prepared to hoark up another missile.
The birds quickly flew away in opposite directions: Daddy Starling went to protect his family while Sasquatch soared towards the back of the store. He hadn’t gone far when one of Patches’s hairballs splooshed into him and knocked him off course. The pain was excruciating, but Sasquatch kept on flying.
While that was going on, the Terriers were surveying their surroundings. The broken glass was confined to one small area in front of them and the floor was thick with olive oil. But if they stepped carefully, they could begin their chasing of the cats.
The Terriers looked past the obstacles and into the main part of the store. The view was awe inspiring. There was row after row of human food. Shelves filled with bread, peanut butter, potato chips and thousands of other delicacies. There were also racks filled with dog food, dog treats, dog cookies, squeaky toys, pig ears and imitation pig ears for dogs with humans who were vegetarians. Oddly, the shelves next to the dog food were empty. It was Buck who figured out why.
“They’re stealing the cat food,” he murmured.
Other racks were decimated as well. The extent of the cat’s thievery was truly shocking. The canned salmon and tuna were gone. It didn’t look like there was a single package of cold cuts left in the store. And the dairy section looked like it had been hit by a tornado.
“Those lowlifes have no respect,“ growled Duffy. “They’re destroying the store!”
As Molly led the Terriers through the oil and around the broken glass, she wondered how five cats could have stolen so much food. She was trying to figure things out when she saw something beautiful. Molly stopped and gazed in wonder. The others also noticed...
A MEATY TRAP
Steaks.
Five thick juicy steaks.
Just sitting there. Glistening in the light. Waiting for dog teeth to sink into them.
Steak...
“Steak... Steak...” the five Terriers repeated as they stepped forward in a zombie-like trance.
“Steak ... Steak ... STEAK!!!...”
The smell of the meat overwhelmed their senses. Grunts and whines of anticipation filled the air as they stepped up to the beef.
“Seems too good to be true,” said Buck.
“Do they always have meat on the floor?” wondered Georgie.
“This really is the best, best BEST place in the world!” said Jackie. The others nodded.
Even a hungry dog realizes that a steak is a rare treat, and so it should be savored. That’s why the Terriers didn’t simply attack the steaks. Instead, they sniffed them carefully and lovingly.
Which was a good thing. Because as they were sniffing, Molly caught a whiff of something unpleasant. Not as bad as the skunk smell that clung to them: this was more like a fake flower smell. The kind of smell that she recognized from the times when Susan cleaned the washroom.
“STOP!” she barked. “It’s a trap!”
Molly picked up her steak and flipped it over. Sure enough, the bottom of the meat was covered in a white paste.
It sure looked like the stuff that Susan used when she was cleaning the house. Since Susan wore rubber gloves when she used the paste, Molly figured that it was not something that the Terriers should be eating.
“The cats have covered the meat with poison!” she barked.
“Knew it was too good to be true,” Buck said sadly as he and the othe
rs backed away from the meat.
“Guys! Guys!” cheeped Sasquatch as he swooped down to join the Terriers. When he landed, a chunk of a hairball fell off of his wing and landed on a steak.
“You’ve been hit!” Duffy said unnecessarily.
After Sasquatch assured the Terriers that he was okay, Molly told him about the steaks. Sasquatch shook his head. Truly, the cats’ capacity for evil was limitless.
He then reported that the Owl had been right - the cats did have eight raccoons working with them. Three of them were flattened like furry pancakes in the upside down dumpster. The other five were pulling shopping carts filled with food and cat treats out of the store.
“They’ve stolen a lot of stuff,” said Sasquatch.
“And we’re going to thteal a lot more!” Peter snarled from the top of the breakfast food aisle as he threw a bottle of maple syrup at the Terriers.
After diving out of the way of the shattering syrup bottle, the Terriers were pelted by high-calibre hairballs that seemed to come from every direction.
The Terriers looked around and saw that the cats were standing in different aisles. Peter was with the cereals and pancake mixes while Petunia was flexing his super-size claws in the “Foods of the World” section. Precious snarled from amidst the medicines and toiletries. In the snack food aisle, Patches was snapping his tongue like a pink whip. Over in the dairy row, Puss Puss slashed open a bag of milk. The white liquid shot up like a gushing oil well, and Puss Puss opened wide and caught some of it in his mouth.
The sight of this vandalism in such a holy site made the Terriers growl.
“You can’t do that,” snarled Buck.
“Wrong Bucko!” purred Puss Puss. “I just DID do that!”
Molly had seen enough. She put out her paw and barked “Time for the Super Powerful Organization of Terriers...”
“...and Songbird,” added Sasquatch as he put his wing tip on top of Molly’s paw.
Buck, Duffy, Georgie and Jackie added their paws to the pile as Molly continued...
“...to take back this store!”
And with that, the Terrific Terriers turned to face the far less terrific cats.
“Let’s do this!” snarled Molly.