Both Rylan and Sabrina declined, which left them alone in the conservatory.
192
"YOU'RE ALWAYS HAVING TO rescue me," Sabrina said with quiet
wonderment, Jeanette barely out of the room. "I'm always in a mess and needing to be rescued."
Rylan stared at her, but she wasn't looking at him. Her eyes were across the room. Eventually they swung to look at him, and Rylan could tell she was thinking about her time in Token Creek, going over it in her mind.
"You were there that night when Zeke hit Eliza. You walked me home," Sabrina recounted. "You found me on the street talking to Paula, and then talked to me the next day so I would be safe. You found Cassie for me so she could take me to the ranch that day so I wouldn't have to drive the buggy." Sabrina stopped, her mouth suddenly opening. "You were even there the first day with Bret Toben and let me cut through the livery to get back to Jeanette's."
"I didn't mind any of those things," Rylan said sincerely, smiling at her a little.
"I find that hard to believe," Sabrina argued with him. "You have better things to do with your time than take care of me." For the first time, Rylan dropped his guard completely. The smile
193 he gave Sabrina was tender and loving, showing exactly what he felt inside.
He didn't know what he expected in return, but it wasn't the tormented expression that crossed Sabrina's face or the words that were spoken with utter conviction.
"Don't fall for me, Rylan Jarvik. It's the worst thing you could do."
For several long heartbeats the room was silent. Rylan was the one to break that silence, and when he did his voice was kind, his expression open. "Is there someone else, Sabrina, a husband or a fiancĂŠwho you haven't talked about?"
"No, it's nothing like that," Sabrina said, wishing she'd ignored his look and kept her mouth shut.
Rylan nodded before asking, "Is there something in my character you object to?"
"No," Sabrina said, looking surprised.
"Do you find me repulsive?"
"No!" Sabrina said, completely taken aback.
Rylan looked at her, praying they would not be interrupted because the next questions had to be asked.
"So you feel the problem is something with you?"
Sabrina looked away but still nodded in answer.
"Does it have something to do with the fact that you're comfortable talking to prostitutes?"
Sabrina's eyes closed in agony, but she still nodded her head yes. She realized that she would rather be beaten again than tell this man about her past, but he had guessed. Sabrina was afraid to look at him. She wanted to stay here-she was coming to love Token Creek-but not every person was Danny Barshaw. Not everyone would understand.
"I don't think a person's past has to define her," Rylan began. "Especially a past that's been repented of."
Sabrina glanced at him but then couldn't look away.
"Did you think I would condemn you?" Rylan asked.
194 Sabrina nodded, still wishing that none of it was true.. .still wishing this was a man she could have for her very own. In all of her realization of his rescuing her, she had not admitted the most wondrous part of all: It had made her feel cherished and special.
"Sorry to bother you," Heather broke in from the door, Theta in hand. "Theta is ready for a little sit-down time in her chair."
"Thank you for letting us use your room, Theta," Rylan said, coming to his feet. Sabrina moved to sit a little closer and spoke as soon as the older woman was settled.
"You look nice in that gray dress, Theta. The color suits you." "How are you feeling, Bri?" Heather asked.
"Still sore."
"As sore as you look?"
Sabrina smiled at her a little. "I'm afraid so. The skin around my right eye and cheek is very tender."
"I guess that would make sense since it's the blackest area." "I wonder how long it will take before I'm presentable again." "Try some cool compresses, Sabrina," Heather suggested.
"I just remembered hearing something about cold helping with
bruising."
"I'll do that," Sabrina said, thanking her.
"All right, Theta." Heather turned to that woman. "I'll check on you shortly." Heather made her way from the room, and Sabrina looked after her before glancing at Rylan. That man was smiling.
"Stuck with me again," he said.
"I don't feel stuck," Sabrina said, laughing a little.
"But you're afraid I'll want to talk about it?"
Sabrina sighed. "In some ways it's a relief to have someone know, and in other ways, I wish I had no past at all."
"Well, I hope we can talk about it some more, but rest easy that it won't be right now." Rylan made ready to leave, and Sabrina stared up at him. "I have a sermon to keep working on, and some folks to check on."
"Thank you for coming."
195 "I didn't really have time, but I forced myself"
Sabrina told herself not to smile, but it didn't work. Rylan smiled in return and exited the room. Sabrina asked herself if she'd just dreamed the whole conversation. Rylan Jarvik knew she had been a prostitute, and he hadn't acted as if he could catch something just by standing next to her.
Sabrina looked over at Theta, the older woman's stare not having altered in the least. Is her mind working in there, Lord? Does she even know I'm here?
Those questions went unanswered, and so did the one Sabrina asked of herself: Would it be easier to have no memory, trapped as Theta was, or to live with the ones she had?
"How is that?" Becky asked, standing close to where Sabrina lay on the sofa.
"I can't feel my face. Did you soak these cloths in ice water?" "Yes."
Sabrina's shoulders shook with silent laughter. She had been sarcastic, but Becky had been her usual honest self.
"Well, what was I supposed to do?"
"I don't know." Sabrina's voice was muffled under the cloths, but she was still laughing.
"Well just lie there a bit longer. I'll come back to check on you."
Sabrina waved a hand and did as she was told. She had never been forced to lie still like this and realized it was good for thinking. There was nothing to look at and no one to talk to. Unbidden her thoughts went to Rylan.
Her mind concentrated on the way his face had looked and how he'd sat while they talked. It didn't take long for Sabrina to realize that Rylan was not surprised to learn of her past. His question had been quiet and thoughtful, and that shouldn't have surprised her
196 either. She had lived in the world of this church family for long enough to know they didn't socialize with prostitutes or folks who lived in that area of town. Rylan had been the witness of many of her interactions with such folk. It shouldn't have been any great mystery that he would understand why.
Crystal's face suddenly swam into view. Sabrina wondered if there was a way to see her. With her face so bruised, the only time that would work would be at night, and Sabrina knew that the women of this household would not accompany her, nor would they allow her to go alone. It crossed her mind to ask Rylan, but she dismissed the thought almost immediately. He had already done enough.
Before Sabrina could work out a plan, Becky was there to check on her. For the moment, Crystal and her past went to the back of her mind.
"Just as you suspected," Chas said, getting a brief rundown from Rylan. "But you didn't talk about it much?"
"No. I think that might take some time."
"Does she know how you feel?"
"I doubt she's let herself think about that. She's too mortified that I know."
"Will you tell her you've told me?"
"Only if she accepts my love or is at least willing to talk about a relationship."
"And how will you handle the truth of this, Ry? It's no small thing."
"No, it's not, but her sins are not about me. I didn't even know her then. Her sins were against God, and she's been forgiven of those. I'm more concerned with how she'll view me with the way men have
treated her. I'm not going crazy with the idea that other men have touched her, but I want to know how her heart is doing
197 when it comes to that same topic. If we can talk about that, I think we have a chance."
"You know I'll be praying," Chas said as they parted, and as usual Rylan took his words to heart.
Sabrina had been excited to have the handwork that Jeanette had brought her the afternoon before, but she had been worn out and left it until morning. It was strange not to be with the church family. She looked forward to Jeanette and Heather coming and telling her all about the sermon. In the meantime, she planned to sew. What she hadn't planned on was how much her face ached when she bent her head over the cloth.
She didn't last 30 minutes before she sat back a little discouraged. She had planned to be such a help. She had not wanted to be a burden. She was going to pull her own weight, but it wasn't looking like that at all, and her pride was taking a beating too.
"And what business do you have entertaining your pride?" Sabrina asked herself in the quiet of the small parlor. She realized she would have to tell Jeanette that she couldn't do the work. Sabrina leaned her head back, reminding herself to be patient and thankful that Jeanette had let her try.
"Well, I finished," Meg said to Brad as their wagon made its way home.
"Finished what?"
"Studying the qualities of an elder. And do you know what?" "What?"
"You qualify."
198
Brad turned his head to look at her, and Meg looked right back. "I didn't know you were studying them on your own."
"I didn't tell you. I just listened to all the things you talked about
and then kept thinking about what each one meant. I can't find a
qualification that you don't meet."
Brad smiled at her but then looked thoughtful. He said after a few moments, "It's a serious undertaking, but one I want to aim for." "Does Rylan ever say how you're doing?"
"Yes, he's very encouraging and wants me to keep up the good work."
Meg tucked her arm in his and got a little closer. Savanna, who tended to be quiet when they rode in the wagon, pointed at something and tried a few words that turned out to be gibberish.
"It's for her, Meg," Brad suddenly confessed. "It's not that you're not important, but not until Savanna was born did I realize how much I need to get this right."
"It sounds to me as though your heart is in the right place. I don't know how you could improve on that."
Brad moved his head enough to kiss her temple, his eyes going to the way Meg's waist was starting to expand. The next one was due in February. A wife and two babies. He still felt amazed when he thought about it. Amazed, thankful, awed by God's love for him, and a whole lot more.
"Can you join us for dinner?" had been Jeanette's invitation, and Rylan now found himself seated with that lady, Heather, and Sabrina. Sabrina had not been uncomfortable when he came in, but he thought she might be a little quiet.
He noticed that almost all the swelling was down around her eyes but then wondered when he would again see her face without the bruises.
199 "How did the sewing go?" Heather asked.
"Not very well," Sabrina answered. "I'm sorry, Jeanette. I thought I could help out, but my face aches when I bend over the cloth."
"Don't worry about it," Jeanette told her, and meant it. She could see that Sabrina was bothered by this and wondered if that's why she was rather quiet. Jeanette had romantic notions going in her mind and hoped that Rylan's presence was the reason for Sabrina's quiet, but she did her best not to think about it.
"This beef is good, Becky," Rylan said when she came in to check on them.
"Well, there's plenty, so you eat up. Bri, are you eating?"
Sabrina picked up her fork and started, not sure why she was suddenly thrown off with Rylan in the house. He was acting as if their conversation from Friday had never happened.
"Shall we tell you about the sermon, Bri?" Jeanette offered.
"Please," Sabrina said, sincerely wanting to know about the morning and feeling something akin to relief at having the focus off of herself.
"We were in Colossians 3," Rylan began. "I was sharing today about the importance of making up our minds to live for Christ. We have to daily commit to thinking thoughts of eternity. Sinful habits come so easily, but that can't be who we are."
"What verses were you in?"
"The start of chapter three, the first five verses, where it says, 'If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.' And then down in verse ten, which says, 'And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him.'
"We have to remember who we are," Rylan continued. "We are in Christ, which means that we can't love this earth very much. We should love the people Christ died for, but not the things of this
200 earth. The draw is very strong. We love our life here, but we have to remember how temporary this all is and what our purpose in Christ is."
"How do you memorize all those verses?" Sabrina asked, still thinking about the way he'd simply recited them.
"I study the text for many months before I bring it to the pulpit. It would be more surprising if I wasn't able to memorize it."
"I have a question for you about verse one," Heather said, but Sabrina was still thinking about what Rylan had said. She wasn't sure if she loved the things of the world, and yet the verses were there for a reason. She had never thought about if she loved her life here more than she loved Christ. It was something she would have to work on understanding.
"How about some dessert?" Becky asked as she came in with a pie and a handful of small plates.
Dessert was enjoyed with more conversation before Jeanette invited everyone into the parlor. Sabrina stood and began to remove dishes from the table. Becky objected, saying she was not up to it, but Sabrina ignored her. Heather pitched in as well, and in little time at all, everything was back in the kitchen. Becky had a swift word with Rylan, and the next thing Sabrina knew, he was standing at her shoulder.
"Why don't we head to the parlor before Becky's heart fails."
"Good!" Becky exclaimed. "She's supposed to be resting. Take her away."
Sabrina followed Rylan from the room, trying to be patient. She didn't think she needed to be babied, and she didn't know why Rylan had to be the one to look after her.
"You must have better things to do than keep me from working," Sabrina said, still following the big man to the parlor and trying not to look as agitated as she felt.
"Was that your way of trying to get rid of me?"
Sabrina's eyes narrowed when he looked at her. She might have made some remark, but they were at the parlor now, and Jeanette was waiting.
201 "I was going to ask you if you might be ready to get out of the house?" Rylan had waited until he was ready to leave and had gone so far as to ask Sabrina to walk him to the door.
"What did you have in mind?" Sabrina wanted to jump at the idea of getting out but made herself ask.
"I thought I'd give you a tour of the livery. We could go when it's almost dark. There would still be enough light to see but probably not too many folks around."
"And the livery is closed today?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"I'd like that."
"I'll come back about seven-thirty. Does that work?"
"Yes. I'll be ready."
"Don't dress up. It's pretty dusty inside."
Sabrina nodded and then remembered the way Rylan had dumped her into the water. Her eyes flew to his, and she would have been willing to bet money he'd remembered the same event.
"I'll see you tonight," Rylan said, not willing to talk about the water incident that had indeed come to
mind.
Sabrina agreed and watched Rylan head out the door, telling herself that the excitement she felt was simply over getting out of the house.
Cassidy settled into the Vicks' living room, Nellie, the youngest Vick, on her lap.
"She won't last long," Miranda said, taking in her daughter's sleepy gaze. Heidi came along next, her mouth moving before she got into the room.
202 "Heidi." Her mother stopped her. "Please go back out and try again."
Heidi turned, went out the door, and came back in again, only this time she was quiet. Cassidy looked to Miranda for an explanation.
"It's too easy to expect to be the center of attention or to interrupt someone when you enter the room talking." This said, Miranda looked down at Heidi, who had sat next to her. "That was much better. Thank you."
"I have a lot to learn," Cassidy said. "And I only have until January to learn it."
"Well," Miranda said with compassion, "you don't give birth to six-year-olds. You do have a little time before they start talking." "That's true."
"I'm six," Heidi said, having now come close to Cassidy's lap. "Yes, you are. I think that's very big."
"Nellie is just little. She's a baby."
"Did you want to hold her, Heidi?" Cassidy offered.
The little girl loved this idea, and climbed onto the sofa to get in position. Cassidy handed the one-year-old to her sister, thinking she would wake up during the transfer, but it didn't happen.
Chas and Trace, accompanied by Franklin and Parker, joined them a short time later, and Chas invited everyone to play a word game that even the children could enjoy. The afternoon passed quickly, and as she always did, Cassidy shared her thoughts on the drive home.
"Whenever we go to the Vicks'," Cassidy said, "I'm more confused than ever about which I want. Nellie and Heidi are adorable, but the boys are so cute and just as much fun. I can't believe how big Parker's eyes are, and he worships Chas. I picture our little boy doing the same with you."
"Like Franklin does?" Trace asked with a smile.
"He can't stop staring at you. You'll have to bring Quincy in again and give him another ride."
"I think the next time he rides it should be at the ranch."