"You can leave me alone tonight, and let me find you tomorrow if I’m ready to talk before you leave. I'm grateful you've protected me from Nathaniel, but I'm nervous that you’re asking me to blindly trust you when I'm facing a secret that's taking you away when I’ve already lost everything else. So please go. I need to clear my head."
A droplet fell down her darkened cheek. Tristan opened his mouth to say something, but thought twice. With his heart heavy, he backed out of her bedroom.
* * *
The hours of the evening and night dragged for Tristan. Her pain and loss of trust stabbed at him. Guilt shot through his body. He sat at the top of the stairs, waiting in anticipation, hoping she might decide to talk to him. Occasionally, the sound of the laugh track on the television or a drawer being closed a bit too hard met his ears. But never once did she open the door. At last, the sounds ceased altogether. Tristan checked the time on his pocket watch, surprised it wasn’t yet six AM. The household would soon rouse to make final preparations to leave within a couple of hours. Downstairs Emma and Sunil were already shuffling around. Their voices cued him to go to his room and search his trunk for a specific box, some parchment, a fountain pen, and his sealing wax set.
At his private desk, he sat in thought for several long minutes, deciding what to write. Many years of penmanship training under a strict governess had their use. Taking his time, he scratched the nib of his favorite pen over the paper.
My dearest Juliette...
* * *
Water boiled while Juliette waited for Tristan, Sunil, and Ash, to say their good-byes outside. The farewell between Emma and her husband was going to be hard, and she didn't want to witness the moment, nor could she send Tristan off when she was still nursing the ache that he may be gone so long. The remains of her dignity would be lost ff she begged him to stay again.
The kettle whistled. Juliette poured some scalding water over a cherry green tea blend. A car engine revved, and she knew they were finally leaving. Not wanting to be downstairs when Emma came in, she grabbed a spoon and the sugar bowl to take upstairs with her.
An unexpected box and note lay on her pillow. She set her drink and sweetener on the bedside table, and picked up the letter. An intricate scroll around a crest formed an emblem in the blue wax. Juliette carefully peeled the seal up without breaking it, set the nickel-sized stamping on her nightstand, and flattened the parchment.
My dearest Juliette, he started in an elegant, old-fashioned script.
She stopped reading and yanked the drawer of the stand open. From it she pulled the well-worn note he had sent to her through Alex and Libby and compared his handwriting of her name. Though the flourishes were fewer in the first, she would easily tell that the new one indeed was his writing.
You're right. Wanting you to trust me without giving the same to you is asking more than is fair. I’m afraid you will not want to continue even being friends once I tell you the truth about me. But I’ll take the risk and tell everything you desire when I return.
I am leaving you a family heirloom, a gift my grandfather gave to my grandmother.
Juliette set the note beside her and grabbed the box. She opened the lid and covered her mouth to stifle a gasp. A white and gold oval pendant lay on a bed of velvet. Brilliant diamonds accented the lacy pattern. In the center of the piece and on each point of the “lace” were sparkling sapphires. The chain was a thin white gold rope. She snatched up the letter to finish reading.
This symbolized his promise of everlasting friendship, and now I’m making the same promise to you.
Yours,
Tristan Marius Laroque
Juliette's eyes watered. With the box and note in her hands she raced toward the stairs. She opened the door. Tristan's car was gone. Hoping they may still be in the driveway, she sprinted through the garage. She fell to her knees, alone.
11. Discoveries
Tristan kept his eyes on the road as he drove his car north. The soprano voice of Maria Callas belted from the speakers, drowning out the banter between Sunil and Ash.
William reached forward and turned down the volume. "Hey, you mind? I’m trying to listen to them."
"Actually I do. I'm attempting to get rid of some thoughts right now."
"I don't know any man so into feelings as you are." William shook his head. "Okay, what's up?"
A ray of sunlight reflected off a trailer ahead. Tristan squinted and exhaled hard enough to puff out his cheeks. “A bit stung Juliette wouldn't say goodbye."
"Yeah, kind of harsh. What was that all about?"
"She knows I’m keeping something important from her, and she's upset. She said she needed me."
From his seat in the back, Sunil sighed. "There's not much you can do. Our safety would be compromised if she knew."
"If the door was open on something more between the two of you, then we'd have to tell. You chose to block off the chance." Ash hit the button to lower the window a few inches.
William snorted. "Why are you being so stubborn? She's into you, and you're practically in love with her. I'd give up the skirt-chasing and my eye-teeth to find someone I could settle down with and be like Sunil and Emma."
A muscle in Tristan’s jaw twitched. "She's not one of us! I can't put her through this life. We struggle enough. Plus she left Nate a couple nights ago. I admit I’ve been in love with her for a while, but there's a chance whatever she feels for me is no more than rebound. I don't want her to suffer!"
"Tristan, calm down!" Sunil chastised. "You're driving!"
The car slowed slightly after Tristan lifted his foot from the gas. He took a few deep breaths. "Your relationship with Emma is rare. She's one of us."
"You are the one putting a limit on Juliette. No one else is doing it for you. I suggest you not think about all the emotional things right now. Find out what is still between you two when we get back. Emma and Gabrielle, and some time, will help her start to heal from her ordeal."
Tristan turned the stereo up again and ignored his brothers, who returned to debating the finer points of video games. He rolled his eyes and sang along with the lyrics. "Si tu ne m'aimes pas, je t'aime…"
* * *
The only seats available were toward the back of the bus. Tristan, Sunil, and Ash, pinched their noses as the bus’s bathroom door opened. The overpowering scent of the toilet chemicals was nauseating.
"Why didn't we have Will go all the way to the border with us?" Ash shifted in his seat.
"Because you didn't think?" Tristan shot back, irritated that they still had greater than a hundred miles until their next transfer, and their chance to be further from a toilet. “I hope he remembers to leave my car at the house.”
The newspaper another passenger had left behind crinkled in Sunil’s hands. "None of us planned this part well. Stop fighting. We'll be off this bus by midnight. I'll be happy if we get to the lodge before Nate leaves. Tristan, I’m sure he wants his Viper. "
"I don’t know if I should be glad he didn’t care about Juliette listening in on that part of their plans, or angry she didn’t matter. At least we know the start point.” A spring under the seat fabric poked Tristan’s spine. Adjusting made it worse.
The rest of way to Canada dragged on. Farmland, concrete cities, nothingness. At last the three tired, aching men stumbled off the bus and hailed a cab to Blaine, Washington, a small town situated along the border. The driver made no attempt at conversation. Tristan closed his eyes until they reached their destination and Sunil paid.
Gravel crunched under Ash’s sneakers. "So where should we change?"
Sunil squinted against the early morning sunlight. "Let's walk east a ways. Get closer on foot and out of sight. We can take care of our business then."
"What are we going to do? Follow Nate and his pack?" Ash asked.
"I guess so." Tristan kicked at a plastic bottle beside the road.
In the distance a bird trilled. Occasionally a car sped by. In spite of himself, Tristan relaxed
, deeply breathing the crisp morning air and enjoying the several shades of green in the tall trees and foliage around them.
Once the town was a speck and no houses were in sight, Sunil took a sharp left turn to go north. "Find places you'll remember and bury your clothes," he instructed, handing Tristan and Ash each a thick plastic bag from his pocket. "We'll meet back here."
A small beaten path led Tristan to a tiny grove surrounded by pines with a large rock next to one of them. With a bit of effort, he rolled the mass to its side and took his clothes off and carefully folded his slacks, shirt, and coat. He laid them in the bag on top of the rest of his things. His fingers dug far into the cold, wet ground to make a hole to bury his possessions. He shivered, the cool air nipping his skin, and shoved the miniature boulder back into its place.
Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and relished in his body changing. His senses heightened immediately and the hidden scents of autumn filled his nostrils. The chill left him. Warm, he rolled his back against the crunching pine needles, like an overgrown kitten excited about a new toy. A rumble rang through the trees, calling for him. With a low growl of his own, he ran toward the call.
* * *
Jostling bodies of shoppers and some post-summer tourists carrying parcels and packages packed Santa Barbara's State Street. Juliette, Emma, and Gabrielle, each carried several bags of their own filled with combinations of designer outfits, shoes, cosmetics, and various accessories. Walking down the sidewalk without bumping people proved to be a challenge.
"Oh! We didn't go to the new store, the one over on--"
"Emma, please," Juliette said, swallowing hard. "You've already bought me enough. More than enough. I don't want to be a burden." Butterflies of anxiety filled her stomach and caused heat to rush to her cheeks.
Gabrielle shifted her bags as she laughed. "Oh, Juliette, Emma loves nothing more than to spend money like it’s water. Well, she loves Sunil most, but shopping is a close second. Anyway you need these things, and Emma needs distraction."
"This is therapy when my husband is gone." Emma kissed her simple wedding ring. “Only a few days and..."
The scent of tomato and basil wafted through a door Gabrielle leaned against. “Let’s have some lunch, girls. See if we can’t perk up. Also the stuff you had on when Tristan found you has a date with the trash, and you’re getting a fresh start.”
Juliette followed Gabrielle to a table in a corner and they shoved their purchases underneath. "Somehow this doesn't seem real. A little over a week ago I was still at Nathaniel's house, and…" Her eyebrows puckered together and she sucked in her lower lip.
A waiter appeared at their table and handed them menus. "Can I start you ladies off with anything to drink today?"
That lack of fluids made Juliette’s head dizzy. “Earl grey, please, if you have it.”
"Cokes for me and Em, and water all around please." Gabrielle flashed the young man a brilliant smile.
The waiter took off to get their drinks, and the three looked over the menus.
"You’ve had a lot of change in a short time, Juliette." Emma set her menu down. "That's got to be tough."
Quicker than they expected, the waiter returned with their beverages, took their orders, and retreated to the kitchen.
Gabrielle reached across the table and laid a shaky hand on Juliette's arm. She spoke slowly, carefully choosing her words. "I understand what happened with that monster your last night with him. I was 26, the youngest daughter of a duke married to the eldest son of a baron. I had two children." She sighed, looking away for a moment. "Late one evening one of my husband's friends did to me what Daniel tried to do to you. One of our servants intervened, a bold action. He died fighting Reginald off. My husband was cruel, and he considered me soiled. He disposed of me, gave me quite a large settlement to divorce. Our children passed on in an accident not long after. Jane, a friend, found me, and she… She guided me through all the changes."
"I am so sorry," Juliette whispered, her eyes watering. "This was recent, right? How have you stopped being afraid?"
"Recent.... Jane helped me realize Reginald alone was responsible for his actions to me, and no true man would ever even consider doing what he did. Some women do despicable things, but you wouldn't. Some men do terrible things. Tristan wouldn’t ever hurt you, or anyone."
Heart skipping a beat, Juliette shook her head. "I’ve done bad things!"
"Like what?" Emma smiled. “Miss curfew?”
"I used to steal stuff." Juliette’s cheeks burned scarlet, and she cast her eyes down. "Sometimes it was food because my foster parents didn't always feed me enough; sometimes it was make-up or a shirt so I could dress more like my classmates in high school."
The grin left Emma’s face. "Juliette, no decent person should fault you for dealing with neglect and hunger instead of dying. Theft isn't right, but starving a kid is so much worse. I can’t even view your theft as wrong."
"I shouldn't have done it."
"They should have fed you enough."
"Maybe Nathaniel and everything was a punishment."
"No." Gabrielle scooted her chair closer to Juliette's and put an arm around her. "No matter what you could ever do, no one ever, ever, deserves to go through what you endured. No one deserves abuse. Anyone who would try claiming you earned harm for making him, or her, mad is not worth your time."
A tear escaped from one of her eyes. Angry at herself for crying again, she wiped it away. "I didn't love Nathaniel and couldn't get away because I thought I owed him, but I was wrong anyway, and--"
"Juliette, no. That doesn't justify what he did. Nothing makes abuse right. You can never deserve a fist flying at you, or some filthy excuse of a human being trying to force you into physical relations without your explicit and enthusiastic consent."
"F-- Screw anyone who says otherwise," Emma added.
Their waiter returned with their meals, checking for anything else they needed before taking his leave.
Gabrielle shifted her seat back to her side of the table. “If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you, okay?"
Juliette nodded her head. "Thanks, Gabby. Thanks, Em." Mindlessly she twisted a ring around her finger, willing herself to believe that she couldn't have earned her life.
* * *
In the distance, Nathaniel and a small group had set up camp, releasing oddly shaped, bright green and gold birds, sending them north. Every evening they returned, never venturing south. For weeks, nothing changed. Nathaniel kept to the clearing with their tents. Only one blond man left the circle with a gun, always bringing back the carcasses of game animals for their meals.
Golden brown eyes peered at Tristan, the feline owner lazily swishing his tail.
The black furry face of a giant panther turned to Ash, a purring growl low in his throat. Ash lay down, watching both the cats.
If for not wanting to be discovered spying, Tristan would have welcomed a good-natured fight to break up their monotonous days.
* * *
The white sarong fluttered to the warm ground at Juliette’s feet as she tugged down the bottom of her new aqua maillot. She dipped a foot in the pool. "Are you going to come in, Em?"
"Just a minute!" Emma set a bowl of salad on a table next to a steel triangle.
Marinated chicken sizzled on the grill, a plate of steaks near the greens. Jareth stopped his whistling long enough to swat at a fly. "Let me take care of that, Emma. You go swim."
"Cannonball!"
Juliette barely had time to notice a streak of bronze in green shorts speed past and leap, tucking his legs close to his body, arms wrapped around his knees. William sank deep into the water. The resulting splash soaked not only Juliette, but Gabrielle, who was asleep on a lounge next to a book. She barely flinched.
"Oh, I'll get you, Will!" Juliette laughed and jumped in after him.
A couple of floating toys flew through the air and landed with light slaps. "Whack him with those!" Emma grabbed a pool nood
le for herself and ran to the steps leading into the shallow end.
"Ah, outnumbered! I surrender to two of the three most beautiful women in the world!" William raised his arms high.
Another giggle erupted from Juliette.
"I like hearing that, Jules." William gave her a soft smile. "You haven't laughed this freely since the guys left."
"Yeah, well, it’s a roller coaster, and I have a lot of flashbacks." She sank down to her neck. Her hair floated freely in the water around her. "Being here's good for me, and I'm hoping they'll get home soon."
Using her hands to steer, Emma drifted on her back near them. "You're safe here and can let your guard down. They left a month ago. I didn't think they'd be gone this long."
"Hey, Jules?" William half smiled at her. "I'll understand if you don't want to talk about this, but something’s been eating at me. What was going on between you and Tristan before they left?"
Juliette glanced over her shoulder. Jareth, singing to a rock song on a radio and dancing where he stood, flipped food on the grill, and Gabrielle hadn’t stirred. "I’m not sure, Will." Her legs glided through the water to the far edge of the pool, and, back against the side, she laid her arms on the sub-heated concrete behind her. "We were friends for a while, and, um, I had to sneak around to spend time with him when…when Nathaniel was in town. I thought we connected, though maybe it was just because he was kind, and I needed a guy to be good to me. I figured out he wasn't into me the same way. There isn’t anything between us. We’re just friends."
Still floating nearby, Emma snorted. "Oh, he was obsessed with you."
"That doesn't help." Juliette shook her head and stared off toward the mountains and golden hills. "Anyway, he was becoming one of my best friends, but I was in a relationship of sorts. Nathaniel found out and forbade me from seeing him anymore. There was the night... And then Tristan brought me here, and asked me to trust him. He wouldn't tell me what was really going on. I got angry at him. That’s where we stand."
"He's not mad at you, though." William grabbed one of her hands. "He gave you one of his most prized possessions: the pendant you wear sometimes."