"Of course not, Son," Tyr said. "You are not bound by your decision either way and can always change your mind later."
Emma stood up. "How about some wine to lighten the mood? Maybe dancing?"
Sunil followed her lead. "I'm going to go watch my wife drink and dance. It's great fun."
"You brat!" Emma laughed and grabbed his hand.
Jareth nodded once at Tyr and joined the waiting vampire.
"Well, he does look happy," Gabrielle mused to Tyr, watching as her newest brother kissed the shy lady’s hand.
"Happier than he’s been in ages. I'll shoot some arrows for a bit. Want to join me, Will?" Ash stretched his arms and walked off toward the range.
Ash and William wandered off, Gabrielle close behind.
The tune the band started took on a lively beat.
"Do either of you want something to eat or drink?" Juliette asked.
"I'm fine, but if you need anything, I'll have it sent over. You both relax and enjoy yourselves." Tyr wandered off toward his waiting council.
"So where were we now?" Tristan teased, once they were alone.
Juliette grinned broadly. "I think we were here," she whispered, closing the distance to finish their interrupted kiss.
26. Decision
"I've decided to stay."
"Are you sure you want this?"
"Yeah. I don't belong out in the regular world, but I can settle in here."
Tristan replayed the scene in his mind, like a video skipping backward to the same point. Jareth’s announcement to stay had taken Gabrielle by surprise. She fell against Ash, hand clasped to her mouth, until she choked out her question.
They punctuated their somber trek back to California with various stops along the way in a vain attempt to distract themselves and find some enjoyment. A giant bookstore in Portland resulted in the purchase of several rare books. An antique arcade in San Francisco brought back many memories for Tristan and made new ones for Juliette. Ash had refused to tour an old war submarine near the pier but wouldn't say why. Emma volunteered to help feed penguins at a Monterey aquarium.
While standing in front of one of the largest salt-water tanks in the world, Juliette asked a question on her mind. "So where you heading since the house you had was blown up?"
"Gabby’s figuring something out right now.” Tristan tightened his arms around her. “I hope you’ll consider your home to be with me.”
For a while, they all sat in the blue glow of the tank. Sharks swam lazily, coexisting with jellyfish floating like billowing tentacled clouds. Large sea bass glided in harmony with sturgeon. Nearer to the acrylic "glass," a couple small children squealed and jumped up and down, palms pressed on the window. Their parents shushed them and whispered apologies. Gabrielle paced nearby, face lowered, speaking quietly into her phone.
Juliette leaned her head against Tristan's shoulder and hissed as her healing injury throbbed. Her lips curved into a small smile on her tense face.
"Penny for your thoughts?" he whispered softly into her ear.
Her eyes closed, Juliette rubbed his thigh. "Just a little pain, and I'm thinking about various things, like how much I love you, and the next steps for me. I’m also sorry Jareth stayed behind."
Tristan kissed her temple. "He's been unhappy for a very long time. I think he's just finding himself now. You heard Tyr. His decision to stay doesn't mean never leaving.”
"Yeah, he's getting to find who he is," she said, sighing. She briefly pressed her lops to his. “I need that chance.”
"We’re going to Ojai," Gabrielle announced. "Where we were before all this started. We'll decide from there what to do next."
"When will we make it?" William checked his wristwatch.
"It's late enough today that we'll stay at the hotel down the road. We'll arrive in Ojai tomorrow around noon and have our things in storage delivered to us shortly after."
"I can’t wait." Emma sighed. "Somewhere familiar, nice, soft beds with no springs poking my back and with more support than a pillow of down…"
* * *
Without Jareth, the rental mansion seemed quieter. His snarky attitude brought a different sense of tense life to their family they only appreciated when he had gone. Tristan experienced some of his best moments with Juliette in that house, but he also had too many reminders of his brother. The decision on where to settle couldn't happen soon enough.
He stared at the ceiling, head resting on his crooked arm, his thoughts turning to Juliette. She'd been unusually quiet since their departure from the unnamed vampire village, spending so much time alone to her thoughts. He doubted she concerned herself with Jareth, but she refused to talk or admit anything had bothered her. Neither Emma nor Ash or even Gabrielle got a word from her. The silence worried him.
"Tristan?" Juliette bit her lip as she entered the living room and sat down in an armchair.
"Why don't you sit next to me?" Tristan asked, sitting up and patting the cushion beside him. Alarm filled him when she only stared.
Juliette closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Tristan, I love you, but I need to get to learn who I am and what I’m capable of doing on my own. Going through life with your financial stability behind me would make things too easy. I have to do it for myself."
Tristan bolted upright and scrambled to his knees in front of her. "Juliette, what are you talking about?"
Trembling, she held his hands in hers, finally gazing into his eyes. "I'm leaving. At least for a while."
"How long?" he whispered, his entire body freezing.
"A month? A few months? A year? I’m not sure yet. I need to take care of myself just so I know I can. I have to finish my senior year of school and hold down a job and not be dependent on anyone else for survival. For years I thought I couldn’t take care of myself on my own, and now that I’m learning I can, I want to learn what else I can do."
"We can finish together," he suggested, desperate. "You can get a job. We could live apart, and I won’t support you since you don’t want me to. We’d still be in each other’s lives."
She looked at him while lacing her fingers through his. "No, I need to do this on my own without having your safety net. I've always relied on other--"
Tristan cut her off. "You're 18. You shouldn't have had time to rely only on yourself."
Juliette reached out and touched her fingertips to his lips. "Tristan, listen to me. That’s part of the problem. I can't be what you need if I don't know my abilities. I haven’t had time to figure them out. You can't be what I need if first and foremost I think of you as someone who will support me in all ways so I don't have to. We need to be equal partners, and that means we both must be able to independently take care of ourselves. You can. Now I need to learn."
"Can't you do it with me?" Sharp pains radiated from his chest.
"No. I'm afraid you giving me a safety net will hold me back."
Tristan struggled to keep breathing. She had become his reason for wanting to live, the hope he had that something was worth an eternity of life. Hoping she would not have an answer and stay, he asked, "How will you start out?"
She took a deep breath. "Gabby and I talked about this before I came in here, and we decided I’ll keep the cash I have left. She insisted on that. It’s far more than enough to get me started out. Libby will be picking me up, and I'll stay with her until I find a job and a place of my own. If I can get into classes next term and take a few summer courses, I'll graduate within a year. Work and school both full-time will be hard, but I really need to do this."
"When?" Tristan thought he was going to lose the ability to speak.
Juliette looked down and drew in a couple shuddering breaths. "She'll be here at eight."
"Tonight? When did you decide this?" Tristan blinked hard. Panicking, he stood and strode to the window. He peered out before yanking the curtain closed.
Juliette covered her face with her hands. "I've been thinking about it for a couple days. I’m sure it's th
e right thing, but I have to do it quickly so I don't chicken out."
The cold hand of grief had his heart and lungs in a vice grip, stifling his ability to breathe. He walked to the couch and fell onto it on his side.
"Tristan, one more thing. I need to be just Juliette St. Claire, not a woman with a man in the wings who might swoop in at any time. God, this is hard, but please, please let me have my space and call you when I'm ready." Her voice started to crack.
"I'll never hear from you again." Desperation swelled. “I’m afraid this will be the last day we have.”
"I swear on my life we’ll be together again!" she cried out, scurrying to sit beside him. She pulled his head onto her lap and cradled him. She brushed his hair from his forehead and bowed to kiss him softly on the lips. "I love you, Tristan," she breathed, a tear dropping from her lashes onto his cheek.
"Je t’aime, ma Juliette." Tristan clenched his jaw tight and wrapped his arms around her, lifting enough to press his ear to her heart, never wanting to forget the sound of her inner music.
* * *
On a couch in the living room, Gabrielle, normally so calm and collected, had become inconsolable. Ash hugged her and let her tears dampen his shirt. William kept biting a knuckle. Sunil sat in a state of meditation while Emma stared off into the empty fireplace.
Tristan held Juliette tightly to his side, trying to memorize everything about her: her arm around his back with her other hand resting next to her face laid against his chest; her ever-present vanilla scent; the fineness of her silky hair; the delicacy of her slender body that hid a strength that surprised and saved them all; the feel of her skin beneath his lips.
He tried to forget that her clothing, her silk gown from their date night at the opera, her books, everything, had been loaded into new suitcases and sat by the door, waiting to be taken away. He tried to forget that he wouldn't know when, or if, he'd see her again. He tried to forget how much he loved her. He tried, but he failed.
Tristan had never hurt so much as at that moment. Temptation called on him to hold her to him forever and not let her walk through the door. She didn't belong to him, and he realized it.
Juliette's arm tightened and she glanced up. "Your eyes always lighten when you're sad."
"I'm going to miss you. This is killing me."
She smiled slightly. "I'll be back. I love you too much to stay away forever."
"Please don't go," he begged. “Don’t cut me out of your life.”
She wiped her moist cheeks and stood, pulling his hand. On the way to the foyer, she touched the screen on the docked iPod. The opening chords of Pachelbel's Canon started. “My love, will you dance with me?”
Tristan wrapped an arm around her back and took one of her hands in his other. Swaying in time to the music, their gazes locked. Holding her, staring deeply into her serene eyes touched by the angelic upturning of the corners of her lips, Tristan could not stop a small smile of his own from escaping.
"Remember me like this, Tristan, and never doubt we'll be together again."
"You promise?"
She nodded. "Yes. I'll still miss you."
"Remember this," he whispered, gently touching his lips to hers.
Juliette pushed herself up on her toes to take more. For a moment, nothing else existed but the two of them. Tightening their embrace, the kiss took on a sense of urgency as if to make up for time before any had been lost.
A car door slamming broke the spell. Libby’s knock brought the rest of the family to the foyer. Emma twisted the handle wordlessly and stood back to allow Libby to enter.
"Hey, Jules. Long time no... Anyway is this yours?" Libby asked with an apologetic smile, pointing down.
William sniffled and cleared his throat. "Yeah. I'll take it out." He grabbed the handles and headed to the car, followed closely by Libby.
Juliette left Tristan's side and walked to Gabrielle.
"I lost Jareth, and now I'm losing you." Gabrielle choked back a sob.
"I promise I won't be gone forever. But I'll miss you so much while I am." She gave Gabrielle a quick hug and a kiss on her cheek. "Jareth will come back."
With her eyes cast down, she stepped over to Emma and whispered to her. "When I return, I’ll have with Tristan what you have with Sunil. I love Tristan too much not to."
Emma hugged Juliette. "Hurry back to him, and to me, and to all of us, okay?"
"I will."
Sunil held his hand out for hers. She obliged, and he kissed her fingers with a bow.
"I hope I’ll get to know you better, Sunil."
He smiled and gave her a nod, leaving his head bowed.
"Ash!" She hugged him enthusiastically.
Ash rubbed her crown gently with a knuckle. "Noogies are a brother's privilege," he laughed.
"Yes, they are!" she agreed, ruffling his hair.
"I don’t get to give you one?" William asked, standing in the doorway next to a grinning Libby.
"Come over here and hug me, Will, and then you can."
He picked her up off the ground, set her back to her feet, and moved his hand up. Instead of a knuckle, his hand pulled her head toward him, and he kissed her forehead.
"Thanks, Will."
Her lip quivered as she turned to Tristan, and she felt the tears filling her eyes.
"Tristan!" she cried, throwing herself into his arms, not caring about the force of his grasp crushing her.
"Let's leave them alone," William said, swallowing hard and leading the way out of the foyer, his fingers on Libby's back to guide her with them.
Tristan reached into his pocket, pulled out his pocket watch, and unclasped the chain from his belt loop. "I want you to take this with you," he told her, gently lowering it into her hand. "You'll need to wind it once a day with the little key."
"It was your grandfather's!" she protested. "I can’t accept your most treasured possession."
"I treasure you above all else. Please."
Juliette stared at the French inscription for a moment, then held the token to her heart. "I'll never let it stop running. I wish I had something to give you."
The final rays of sunlight from their last day together had nearly gone. The automatic sconce above the porch flicked on, casting light and shadow through the glass and onto the marble floor.
"Now I know the meaning of, 'Love is not a victory march. It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.'" Tristan’s voice cracked, and he ran the back of his fingers along her jaw from her ear to her chin.
Juliette's face scrunched up, and she started sobbing. "I love you so damn much. I have to do this. It hurts, but I have to."
Tristan roughly and passionately kissed her, stopping when his own tears flowed. He closed his eyes as Juliette’s thumbs traced his lowered eyebrows.
"Sweetheart,” Juliette gasped, “I need to go. This is just getting harder."
Tristan didn't trust himself to speak and merely nodded.
"Libby?" she called, her pitch high with emotion. "Let's take."
Libby's soft footsteps passed by her to the door. "I'll be outside. Bye, Tristan."
Tristan followed Juliette through to the porch. Once again, he pulled her to him. "Je t'aime, ma Juliette. I love you."
"I love you, Tristan, more than you can possibly know." She sniffled and gently kissed him.
"A lock of hair," he said.
"What?" Juliette tilted her head.
"A little something from my time. Locks were tokens to remember someone by."
Juliette dug in her purse for her nail scissors and handed them to him. "Take all you want."
Tristan reached to the nape of her neck and snipped a small section. "This is enough. I love your hair on you."
"I love you, Tristan."
"I love you, Mon Amie."
She tried to smile and whispered, “I’ll see you later.” When their hands finally parted she pressed a palm over her heart and walked to the car door. Libby pushed it open for her, and she climbed in. The car s
tarted moving once she buckled her belt.
"I'm glad you're here, Lib." Juliette sniffled, keeping her eyes on Tristan's tear-streaked face in the lamp light until he disappeared behind a corner. Juliette pressed her fingers tightly to her mouth.
"You need to be a strong person for yourself before you can be strong for others. I'm so proud of you, Juliette."
The car careened down the long driveway as the stars twinkled in the darkened sky. Juliette’s thumb brushed the face of the pocket watch, as she stared through unshed tears to the road that would lead her to her new life.
Epilogue
"That's a wrap!" the director called out.
Juliette walked off the stage toward the catered buffet, tired after a grueling ten weeks filming her second mainstream film, wishing that skipping her weekly root touch-up wouldn’t result in a scolding. For a moment, she pondered her life, still so foreign to her. An up-and-coming star of the Hollywood independent scene, she had fended off larger studios until she received the offer she didn't want to refuse. The art house flicks had suited her fine, but the new French regency script reminded her too much of someone from her past. While wide-scale fame wasn't what she had aimed for, the period roles were too alluring to pass up. Frequent hair dye jobs to keep her corn silk tresses strawberry blonde were a part of the gig.
Libby skipped over to her, a mischievous gleam in her eye. "I've got a secret!" she sang.
“What? Are you planning to use a bunch of red gels again? Give the director another heart attack?”
“Nope.”
"Is Mike going to reshoot the water hole scene for the hundredth time?" she asked, piling sliced ham on a disposable plate.
"No. I just happen to know you have a letter from someone, and since you don’t know who it’s from, it's kind of a secret." She raised her hand, holding a parchment paper folded and sealed with sapphire wax. "From him, right?"
"Give it to me!" Juliette snatched the letter and dropped the plate onto a table. She instantly recognized the script. "Yes! I'll be back in a moment, Lib!"
Juliette walked as quickly as she could to her small trailer and pulled a robe over her costume. She found a nail file, lifted the fleur de lys seal without breaking it, and unfolded the letter.
My beloved Juliette,