***
Half-blind Ron hated dogs with a passion, and to be fair they didn’t care much for him. He used to tell everyone that he lost his eye after a fight with a Corwen Rottweiler called Fang. Part of this story was true, he did indeed lose his eye after a fight with a dog, but it was with a poodle called Prissy and he started the fight. When Prissy gave him a good whack with her paw he realised she wasn’t quite the pushover he thought she’d be, so he turned tail and ran… straight into a rose bush. The rest, as they say, is history.
They’d been walking for a good few miles now and Half-blind Ron was getting hungry. As the sun began to set, with dusk despatching the last remnants of day so that night could arrive unhindered, he was daydreaming about chicken. The others were walking at a faster pace than him and were now a good ten yards or so in front. He could, however, still see them all quite clearly even in the low light. Well, until the English Cocker Spaniel appeared in front of him out of nowhere.
‘Hello,’ Humphrey said in perfect English. ‘Perhaps you can help me, I’m looking for someone; a tall human with scruffy hair. Have you seen him?’
‘Aaaarrrggghhhh!’ Half-blind Ron cried, transmitting his thoughts in a shout. ‘It’s a bloody talking dog!’
He raised his hackles and hissed his loudest, hissiest hiss at Humphrey, extending his claws and scratching at the air. ‘If you come any closer I’ll rip ya piggin’ ears off, ya freak!’
‘Well, in that case I won’t come any closer,’ Humphrey said. ‘I apologise profusely for scaring you, and please accept my assurance that this wasn’t my intention. You must trust me when I attest that our encounter is undoubtedly one of profound serendipity.’
‘Aaaarrrggghhhh!’ Half-blind Ron shouted in his mind again, ‘It’s a bloody talking dictionary dog!’
By this time the rest of the group had backtracked, wondering what all the fuss was about. ‘What’s the problem here, Ron,’ Theo said, with a wary eye on Humphrey.
‘This bloody pooch appeared out of nowhere right in front of me and then he starts talking. And not only that, I can’t understand half of what he’s bleedin’ sayin’!’
‘Forgive me,’ Humphrey said to Theo, ‘I have travelled across realities and time to get here and I didn’t mean to upset your friend. I’m looking for my human friend, you see, and I suspect that he may be in the vicinity.’
‘I knew it, he’s off his bloody rocker,’ Half-blind Ron said to Captain Marmaduke. ‘I bet he’s one of those geriatric experiments that you read about.’
‘Genetic experiments,’ Captain Marmaduke corrected.
‘Them an’ all, I reckon.’
‘Hello,’ Cracky said, crouching down in front of Humphrey. ‘I couldn’t help but overhear what you said about “realities and time”. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Merlin Crackfoot, but most folks call me Cracky.’
Humphrey cocked his head to one side. ‘I’m pleased to make your acquaintance, Cracky. My name is Humphrey and I’m looking for a tall human with scruffy hair.’
‘Are you indeed,’ Cracky said, with a glance at Theo. ‘Well, I have a feeling that we may be able to help you. He wouldn’t happen to drive a red automobile and carry what he tells me is a “smart phone”?’
Humphrey wagged his tail. ‘It sounds like you’ve met him.’
‘We have indeed,’ Cracky said. ‘He’s made quite a name for himself in the short time he’s been here.’
‘That doesn’t surprise me,’ said Humphrey. ‘He’s a good soul and very friendly. He does have a habit of getting himself into trouble, though. Do you know where he is?’
‘Well, we know where he’s going,’ Theo said. ‘At this very moment he’s with some other friends of ours, travelling by boat to Chester. They should arrive tomorrow.’
‘Hmm,’ Humphrey said, ‘I deduce that you good people are actually heading in that general direction. Would that be correct?’
‘We are,’ said Theo, ‘but we’re taking a somewhat circuitous route.’
‘In which case, would it be too much trouble if I travelled with you? I can assure you that I am quite discreet and will certainly not make your presence known to the people you are following.’
‘How do you know we’re following anyone?’ Oriana asked.
‘Just call it canine intuition,’ Humphrey said. ‘And I would suggest that we now continue in pursuit, else we may lose them; they are about to turn onto that main road up ahead.’
‘He’s right,’ Cracky said. ‘We’d better get a move on.’
‘I’m not sure about this, Your Highness,’ Captain Marmaduke said to Theo. ‘He could be working for Blacktie.’
Theo concentrated slightly and probed Humphrey’s mind, searching his recent memories, many of which included Aiden. ‘That’s quite a talent you have there,’ Humphrey said.
‘You can feel me in your mind?’ Theo replied, astonished.
‘Yes, indeed. I take no offence, though. Our meeting has been most fortuitous and if analysing my thoughts will provide corroboration of my statements then I am perfectly at ease for you to continue.’
‘He’s telling the truth,’ Theo said to Captain Marmaduke. ‘And he has quite an extraordinary mind.’
‘Thank you,’ said Humphrey. ‘Now, we really should be continuing. From what I can see up ahead, those two individuals are about to get into a carriage.’
‘Damn,’ said Cracky. ‘They’re taking a taxi. We’d better hope we can grab one too before they get out of sight.’
Now, one of the imponderables about traversing dimensions and time is that it isn’t an exact science. Once a door is opened between realities, it is possible that other doors can also open, particularly if a cross-dimensional connection already exists. So, in this particular instance, Humphrey wasn’t the only one that had shifted into this reality.