Jackson frowns, doubt returning to his eyes.
“But it’s hell with a purpose,” I tell him confidently. “If you keep that in mind, it’ll make it easier when things get rough.”
“How can you be sure?”
“It’s only nine weeks. I could hold my breath for nine weeks if I had to.”
“Maybe you can…” he replies.
I’m concerned he is already questioning if he’ll make it to the end of basic training, so I tell him, “No matter what, you will get through this, Jackson. They’re not out to break you, even if it seems that way. The reason they push so hard is to show us what we are capable of.”
A guy three bunks down starts clapping slowly with a sarcastic look on his face. “Nice pep talk there. Where you from, Planet Bullshit?”
I laugh off his comment, not wanting to start anything. Instead, I agree with him as I settle back, folding my arms behind my head. “Guess I’ve been reading too many Army brochures.”
“Fucking dick,” the guy grumbles, turning on his side.
Jackson looks at the prick and shrugs, giving me a half-smile before heading off to his own bunk. I sometimes forget that not everyone feels the way I do about being here.
They haven’t spent their entire lives waiting for this day to arrive.
I opt out of calling home to let my family know we’re being transferred to the training battalion. I will not give my father the satisfaction of hanging up on me again. Instead, I write my little brother a letter, trusting that my mom will make sure he reads it.
Dear Jacob,
I know things were pretty messed up when I left, but don’t worry about me.
I’m okay. Great, in fact.
But now that you’re second in command, I need to ask a favor, little man. Can you look after Mom? Pitch in when she needs help and give her an extra hug from me from time to time.
As for Father, he deserves your respect. He’s done a good job preparing us for military life, and I’m grateful for his training despite the huge fight we had.
As far as that’s concerned, I hope what you take away from it is how vitally important it is to be true to yourself, no matter what. I have no regrets and I know, someday, I will make Father proud.
In the end, this is your life, Jacob. You only get one chance, so make the most of it.
I’ll keep this first letter short, but I wanted you to know your big brother is thinking of you as I head off to boot camp.
Love,
Charlie
I seal the letter and then settle back in my bunk. Even though I’m exhausted, I can’t fall asleep and suffer another restless night. Visions of the fight with my father replay in my head. The ruthlessness of his actions and words eat at me.
What if I am never accepted back into the family because of this? I’m overcome with a sense of foreboding. No, blood is thicker than water. Someday he will welcome me back home with open arms. Until that time, my only job is to work my ass off to prove I was right.
At 0430 in the morning, I jump out of bed, grateful to start the day and be free of my thoughts. After a quick meal in the mess hall, I head to the buses.
A female Drill Sergeant orders us to get on the bus quickly and quietly. Some recruits are slow getting on the bus, while others take their time choosing seats. That results in a tongue-lashing, and all of us are ordered off the bus to try again. Three attempts later, amid a series of spirited corrections, we are finally able to run onto the bus and sit down in a quiet and orderly fashion exactly as she instructed.
As punishment for being slow learners, she makes us belt out “God Bless America” until our throats hurt.
You would think we’d learned our lesson as a group, but no. When we exit the bus too slowly, we are forced to do it again before being separated into squads.
The Drill Sergeant for my squad introduces himself in a calm, collected voice as Drill Sergeant Herbert Marshall, but we are only allowed to call him Drill Sergeant.
If anyone has illusions that he will be easier on us than the previous Drill Sergeant was because of his quiet demeanor, they are sorely mistaken.
Our Drill Sergeant is disgusted by our lack of hustle getting off the bus and yells at us, “Drop your bags and do twenty now.” He orders us to get back on bus, this time, we must line up alphabetically once we exit.
We start muttering our last names to each other, shifting in line until we have it but, naturally, we fail to do so quickly enough and get to do another set of twenty.
Afterward, the Drill Sergeant walks down the line with a disgusted look on his face. He stares at each of us critically, giving special attention to certain individuals who catch his eye—starting with Jackson. Unfortunately, the kid is nervous and scratches the back of his neck as he stammers out an answer.
Jackson is ordered to run in place, so he can get his thoughts in order. I can tell by the kid’s red cheeks that he is humiliated at being the first of the recruits to be called out by the Sergeant.
Although I’ve tried to go unnoticed, the Drill Sergeant confronts me as well. “Do you have a problem?”
I stare straight ahead and quickly answer, “No, Drill Sergeant.”
“I think you do. Drop and give me twenty.”
I do so immediately and without question.
I hear the prick from the night before snort beside me. It doesn’t go unnoticed by the Drill Sergeant, and he walks over to him next. “Do you find something amusing?”
The prick immediately frowns and shakes his head. “No, sir.”
“Sir? You dare to insult me by calling me sir?”
“I didn’t mean to, Drill Sergeant,” he answers.
The Drill Sergeant addresses the entire squad. “Recruit Bell’s insult will cost you all. Everyone drop and give me twenty.”
I’ve just finished my punishment, but immediately drop back down to do twenty more. This prick has not only gotten on the sergeant’s shit list, but he isn’t winning any friends in the process. Until he learns discipline, all of us will be made to suffer for it.
That evening, just before lights out, the prick punches me in the stomach as I try to walk past him to my bunk.
“What the fuck, BS?” he shouts at me. “Why the hell are you trying to get me in trouble?”
I ignore the pain, getting right up in his face. “That’s not my name.”
“It is now.” He looks around our barracks with a smirk on his face. “Everyone, meet BS here, official bullshitter of the Army.”
I hear people chuckle, but I’m not concerned because I know exactly how to handle this guy. “Hey, I’ve got a name for you.”
“Go ahead and say it before I punch that smug look from your face.”
I smile wider and simply say, “Grapes.”
“Grapes? What kind of fucking name is that?”
“It stands for sour grapes, which you seem to be severely suffering from right now.”
The whole room bursts out snickering at the ridiculous name.
If looks could kill, I would have been dead that instant. Instead, I give Grapes a dismissive nod before pushing my way past him.
He follows me, looking for a fight, but one of the other men calls out, “Cool it, Grapes.”
More laughter follows.
Grapes looks like he’s about to lose it, but our Drill Sergeant suddenly enters the barracks. Everyone immediately stands at attention at the foot of our beds.
“What’s going on here?”
Not a soul speaks.
He gets into the face of the recruit closest to him and growls, “I asked you a question.”
“Nothing’s going on, Drill Sergeant.”
He looks at us all suspiciously. Putting his hands behind his back, he walks down the line of beds, looking sternly at each of us as he passes. At the end of the row, he turns to face us again. “I’ve had some sorry ass recruits in my day, but this squad exceeds them all.”
The room is silent as he walks back to Grapes and stares hard at him. “I
don’t like you.”
Grapes grinds his jaw but says nothing.
The Drill Sergeant continues down the line until he reaches me. “And I’m keeping my eye on you, Walker.”
Despite my best intentions, I have not only been noticed by the Drill Sergeant, but also singled out. Now, I will have to work ten times harder to prove myself to the Drill Sergeant, but I’m not worried. I know I can prove myself in this environment.
This is where I say goodbye to the boy I was and become the man I want to be.
A Woman
Cleopatra Cox
The drive to Ethan’s house is unusually silent. I’m preoccupied with thoughts about what’s about to happen.
I give him a nervous glance and force myself to speak before I chicken out. “I kind of feel dumb asking this right now…”
“What?”
“You’ve done this before, right?”
“No.”
I look at him in shock. “Really?”
He frowns. “Why would I lie about a thing like that, Cleo?”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that…”
“What?”
“It’s hard to believe with you being handsome and all.”
Ethan snorts in amusement. “Yeah…well, I didn’t fit in at the other high school.”
I take his hand and squeeze it tightly. “I’m glad you came back then.”
Ethan looks back at the road, a smile playing on his lips.
He pulls up to his dad’s house and tells me to wait. Then he walks around and opens the door, giving me his hand as support as he helps me jump down onto the sidewalk. “You’re almost too tiny for this old truck,” he teases.
“No, I’m not.” I give him a friendly sock in the arm in protest.
I stare at his house for a moment, knowing this is where I will officially become a woman. Ethan escorts me into the house like the gentleman he is, and I feel chills of anticipation as I walk through the doorway.
“Would you like anything to drink?”
“Got any alcohol?” I venture.
Ethan shakes his head. “My dad is a recovering alcoholic, and I never touch the stuff.”
“Smart…” I reply, feeling super embarrassed for suggesting it.
“Are you having second thoughts?” Ethan asks in concern.
“No, I just…have no clue what I’m doing.”
“Me either, but I’ve studied my dad’s nudie films to prepare.”
“Pornos?”
“Yeah,” he chuckles.
I laugh as heat rises to my cheeks. “So, you’re telling me you studied them?”
He gives me a crooked grin. “I wanted to make sure your first time was…special.”
Ethan’s confession gives me pleasant butterflies. I stand on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek, but he turns his head toward me and our lips touch.
I gasp softly as his tongue enters my mouth and my body ignites with tingles. I’m more than ready to jump into the unknown with him, confident in his love. “Can we do it now?” I whisper in his ear.
He clears his throat and inadvertently glances down. I notice the rigid outline of his shaft pressing against his jeans. Ethan grabs my hand and leads me into his bedroom. By now, my heart is racing. The first thing I notice is how his bed has been neatly made. Just seeing it makes me weak in the knees.
He looks at me, misreading my emotions. “Look, Cleo, we don’t have to do this. It’s perfectly okay.”
I appreciate how sweet Ethan is being, but I want this, so I sit on his bed. “What do you want me to do?”
His charming grin returns as he sits down beside me. “You don’t have to do anything except this…” He places his finger under my chin and kisses me firmly on the mouth, flicking his tongue against my lips.
My body responds to his manly confidence, and I moan lightly as his hand brushes against my breast. While he continues kissing me, he begins unbuttoning my blouse one button at a time. I’m plagued with self-doubt as he pulls back my shirt, suddenly afraid the padded bra will only accentuate how small my breasts are.
I hold my breath as he slips one strap off my shoulder and starts kissing my neck. I am only partially undressed, but I have never felt so naked in my life. There’s a thrilling fear in opening myself up to him like this.
Ethan’s kisses move lower as he slips off the other strap. With nothing to hold the bra up, it slips down to my waist, leaving my breasts fully exposed to him. I blush in humiliation, but Ethan stares at my chest as if transfixed and mutters, “Oh, my god. You’re beautiful…” He begins caressing my breasts as he leans in to kiss me again.
I am on fire for this boy and return his kisses with a passion I can’t contain. He groans and pulls away, trying to shift the hard-on being crushed in his dress pants.
“Let me,” I offer. I take off my bra and then sink to the floor, kneeling between his legs. Even though I am literally trembling, I reach up and pull on his belt as if I know what I am doing.
Ethan leans back and watches me hungrily as I unbuckle his belt, then unbutton his pants before unzipping them. I pull down his boxers and stare at his manhood. To be honest, I am a little intimidated by how rigid and big it is, but nothing is going to stop me now.
Ethan takes my hand and places it on his hard cock. The moment I touch the smooth skin, he groans loudly.
I am suddenly filled with a sense of power and smile up at him as I lean forward and kiss the round tip. A pearl of clear liquid appears and I’m curious what it will taste like. Without hesitation, I take a quick lick like a little kitten.
Ethan suddenly sits up and cups my face in his hands. “Not another lick. The one thing I couldn’t tell from watching those films is how incredible it feels, and I am already on the edge.”
He pulls me onto the bed and then stands up to undress. I watch as he pulls off his pants and boxers, followed by his black socks. His white button-up shirt covers his groin area, making for a sexy tease. Ethan slowly undoes his tie and then unbuttons his cuffs before working on the buttons of his shirt, slowly revealing his toned chest to me. I watch with bated breath as he pulls it open for dramatic effect before shrugging it off.
I stare unashamedly at his naked body, turned on by it.
But, I suddenly feel shy again as he lies down beside me. That feeling disappears when he pulls me close and our naked skin touches for the first time. I let out an audible gasp, entranced by the chemistry flowing between us.
Goosebumps rise on my skin as his hand trails over my waist and down my hip, where it finally rests. He’s looking at me with a mixture of hunger and devotion.
I feel completely beautiful under his gaze. I lean forward and kiss him, acutely aware of his rigid shaft pressing against my thigh. Although I understand the general mechanics of what is about to happen, I have no idea how he is going to fit, but I am aching inside.
“Ethan…”
I assume he is going to take me when he slips off my skirt and panties. Instead, he moves down between my legs, his face only inches from my sex.
I swallow nervously.
When he looks up at me from between my legs, my heart skips a beat. “I’m going to need you to tell me how it feels. Remember, I’m new at this.”
I giggle as I feel the first light flicks of his tongue on my clit. I bite my lip, unsure if I can handle how ticklish it feels but, as he starts licking and sucking with more intensity, I am overcome with a flood of new sensations. I lay my head back and he stops for a moment. “Too much?”
“Yes, but keep doing it.”
He chuckles softly, and I can feel the vibrations of it on my clit. Part of me can’t believe he is kissing and licking me there, and another part can’t believe we haven’t tried this before. There comes a point when he starts licking me with longer strokes of his tongue, like a cat grooming itself. I don’t know why, but the rhythmic strokes seem to build on each other, becoming more and more intense as my body anticipates the next lick. I feel lik
e I am going to explode and instinctually clamp my legs shut, trapping his head.
“What?” he asked, wiping his mouth when I release him.
“I need you.”
My pussy aches as he climbs onto me. My legs spread wide with his weight between them. I look up into those baby blues, overcome by how much I love Ethan. This isn’t two kids experimenting with sex—this is two people desperate to connect with one another.
I watch as he quickly grabs a condom off his nightstand and slides it over his shaft. He then repositions himself, grabbing his cock and pressing the head of it against my small hole. He grits his teeth as he begins to push. As much as I want this, my body resists.
“Kiss me,” I tell him.
He leans down and kisses me as he pushes harder. I cry out, feeling a flash of pain as his cock slides into me.
Ethan holds me for a moment before pushing deeper while his tongue claims my mouth. For a moment, I’m in shock and lie still as a tingling sensation takes over my body.
His fervent kisses continue, reigniting my passion. I lift my head to return Ethan’s kisses and am rewarded with an even deeper penetration. He braces his arms on the bed and begins to pull out before pushing his shaft back inside me, a low groan escaping his lips as he does so.
His sexual vocalization stirs my desire and makes me even wetter. When he begins slowly stroking me with his cock, I’m in ecstasy. This connection is so incredibly intimate, and more wonderful than I ever imagined.
“I love you, Ethan,” I tell him with tears in my eyes.
He stops mid-stroke and says, looking down at me, “I love you.”
Ethan is perfect and beautiful.
I wrap my legs around him and cry out in delight as he takes me deeper. He grunts as his thrusts start coming more rapidly.
“Yes, yes,” I moan.
Suddenly, he stiffens and every muscle tenses. After several spirited thrusts, he collapses on top of me. “It felt too good. I couldn’t stop,” he confesses as he lifts his head and looks into my eyes.
Even though my body is still humming with need, I tell him, “It was wonderful.”
Ethan gives me a crooked grin. “I’m not done quite yet.” He gets up from the bed and discards the condom in the trash before heading to the bathroom. He returns a short time later with a washcloth in his hand.