Read Salt and Pepper Short Stories and Poems Page 19

This one comes directly from stories my Grandfather, Jack, told me about their real life neighbours.

  Bush Neighbours

  Susan Sowerby

  When Jack rolled up on horse and cart

  The Gippsland hills stole his heart

  He made it known around the town

  That he was there to settle down

  On a patch of land with rickety quarters

  Jack moved in with his wife and daughters

  They scrubbed the kitchen and swept the halls

  Dusted the shutters and painted the walls

  Then Jack hit town to buy some calves

  Met the locals and shared some laughs

  An odd-looking fellow approached him and said

  ‘I’m your neighbour, me name is Fred.’

  ‘We lives close by, just over the hill

  Chrissy, Davey, me and Lil

  Come to tea, bring all your crew

  Lil will make a spread for you.’

  So Jack and Maggie, Jeanie and May

  Got all dressed up to go that day

  Such welcome burst from the slovenly shack

  It dashed their hopes of turning back

  Inside, the house looked more like a stable

  Bottles and tins littered the table

  Fred waltzed in with the cow-yard broom

  And knocked some aside to offer them room

  Under their seats of upturned boxes

  Grumpy hens sat safe from foxes

  If anyone wriggled as little girls will

  A peck on the leg made them sit still

  A trail of soup had been swept out the door

  Ted told them dirty folk lived there before

  ‘So you are new?’ Maggie wanted to know

  ‘Yep!’ said Fred, ‘ten years ago.

  ‘Tell me Jack, I hear you can box

  That’s somethin’ to know in this world of hard knocks

  When thugs belt our Davey, enough is enough

  Teach him the ropes so he learns to be tough’

  Jack picked a day and a time was agreed

  Happy to rescue a neighbour in need

  For though they lived rougher than Ma and Pa Kettle

  Their kindness helped Jack and Maggie to settle

  Even though poor, they offered their neighbours

  Meat and fresh eggs, fruits of their labours

  Such friendship’s a gem that can never be sold

  Although they were grubby, their hearts were of gold

  Over the hill, there was no need to yell

  For words echoed freely, clear as a bell

  Tipsy from town, on his shed Fred would beat

  Yowling, ‘Crikey, woman, when do we eat?’

  Or perched on the fence as his wife ploughed

  Fred read out romance books, bellowing loud

  His passionate prose made the valley resound

  Each time she ploughed by, trudging round and around

  But Lilly took ill and was taken away

  To hospital for a very long stay

  Maggie told Jack, ‘She’s nothing to wear

  I’ll bring a silk nightie to show her I care

  Lilly refused in bashful distress

  ‘Missus I can’t take your evenin’ dress

  Thank you most kindly you’re thoughtful an’ all

  But I’m goin’ t’ horspital, not.to a ball!’

  Chrissy got lonely with mamma away

  She visited Jack’s house, begging to stay

  Maggie, embarrassed, choked back a laugh

  ‘Of course you can darling, but please - take a bath!’

  Like Venus reborn, Chrissy rose from the suds

  The scrubbing revealed one of May’s darling buds

  Her daddy cried proudly, ‘Oh please stay like that

  It’s only a month until mamma gets back!’

  When Maggie went in for her own operation

  Lilly’s banana gift caused consternation

  ‘Here y’ are missus, I hopes they all keep

  I brought a whole chaff bag ‘cos they’s goin’ cheap!

  News of Dave’s boxing lesson got out

  So locals arrived to cheer clap and shout

  Their ears were flapping to pick up Jack's tips

  Jack was still speaking when Dave split his lips

  ‘Steady young pup; if you want to fight?

  Duck to the left, as you punch with your right

  Keep your eye steady and stay on your toes’

  But Dave didn’t listen and copped a blood nose

  Fred got upset, it didn’t seem right

  To see his son bleeding, was this done in spite?

  ‘Quit it,’ he bawled, ‘or I’ll see to you buddy

  You’ve beat up me boy and made him all bloody’

  That was their cue, down off the fence

  Sprang various locals, mad and intense

  Every man there, fought for his hide

  Raw, rough and ready, on no body’s side

  With one in for all, and all in for one

  Dave’s dog became baffled. What side was he on?

  With jaws like a vice, old Rat grabbed the chance

  To rip the seat clean out of Jack’s pants.

  Covered in dust, onward they brawled

  And didn’t let up until ‘smoko!’ was called

  Each man shook hands, for everyone won

  They knew it was silly, but crikey! what fun.

  Though death in a family rarely is funny

  It’s true that old Fred passed away on the dunny

  Lil's wail rang out in grief and despair

  ‘Our Fred looked like Jaesus, sittin’ up there.’

  Although this story sounds rather absurd

  I’ll swear on a bible, its true, every word

  Bush folk survive, though not hand in glove

  For better or worse, on neighbourly love.

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