“Carl? How much danger do you think Adam is really in?”
“Big time. If it’s hepatitis C, and he’s already in danger of his liver failing, he’s going to need a liver transplant right away. If it’s not hep C, I don’t know what it could be.”
“Dear God. How in the world would Adam get hepatitis to begin with?”
“I don’t know. Did he ever get blood, like a transfusion?”
“Not that I know of. He’s never even been in a hospital since we met each other.”
“Does he have any tattoos?”
“Adam? No. He thinks they’re déclassé.”
“Well, they can be a health risk because tattoo parlors don’t always have the most antiseptic environments. Think about it. Hospitals are supposed to be germ free, but they’re not. People get MRSA or C. diff in hospitals!”
“I’ve read about that. It happens all the time,” I said.
“Well, he must have gotten blood somewhere along the line, because I can’t believe he’d share a needle with someone—not in a million years. He’s not a drug user.”
“In fact, he’s the furthest thing from one.”
“And hepatitis isn’t contagious. It has to be an exchange of blood.”
“How did he get so sick this quickly?”
“He’s probably had it for years. It hides. By the time you become symptomatic, you could be in the late stages of the disease. Bad odds.”
“How’s he going to get a liver transplant?”
“Well, there are only two ways—cadaver donor or living donor.”
“Oh, God. Poor Adam. What are the chances of a cadaver donor?”
“Probably not good. I don’t know the exact stat, but it’s something like only seven thousand people get them and seventeen thousand people need them every year.”
“Otherwise he dies?”
“No, he can have a live donor. I’m sure the doctors are already looking for a match for him.”
“How serious is this, Carl? I’m really worried.”
“Eliza, it’s dead serious. You can’t live without a liver. But you know what? You should try to get a little shut-eye. There’ll be plenty of time to fret later on.”
I thought to myself, He has to be kidding. He tells me my husband is in a life-threatening situation and I should take a nap? Then I understood: what he meant was that he wanted to focus on Adam’s illness and think it all through.
After tossing and turning in the seat for several hours, I crawled over sleeping Carl to just take a walk in the aisles. I didn’t need deep vein thrombosis any more than Adam needed hepatitis C. I used the powder room and took a bottle of water from a bar the flight attendants had set up near the galley. I looked at the faces of all the people on the plane as I passed them and thought, So many lives, so much love, and so much sorrow. I had never expected happiness every day of my life. But I had never expected anything like this. And certainly, not for tragedy to happen to Adam, who was as healthy as you would hope to be. If we lost Adam it would kill Ted, and my sons would be utterly and completely devastated. It would break my heart into a million pieces as well. I loved Adam, more than I had ever loved anyone. He made me as mad as every fury in hell, but if I lost him I couldn’t imagine how I would go on without him in the world. The thought of losing him made me feel my love for him deeply, as though I were feeling it for the first time. I knew then that our love had been rattled hard, but it wasn’t broken beyond repair.
Our flights were an endurance contest. I thought I would honestly lose my mind if I had to withstand one more minute of travel time, but after we landed at Kennedy, cleared customs, and changed terminals, we still had another hour and a half to go.
“I’m scared,” I said to Carl as we waited in line to board the flight to Charleston.
“I know but don’t be. I’m here.” He put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a squeeze.
I leaned into his side and thought about how safe Carl made me feel. It was like the day he lifted my little boy from the ground and rushed him to the hospital. Carl was imperfect, as we all are, but he was a dear, sweet friend. I knew he had to go back to Raleigh, but I also knew that since he had the time off, he would likely stay by my side until Adam was out of harm’s way. I couldn’t even consider any other possible outcome. Adam had to get well. And I needed Carl’s steadfast spirit. I really hoped he would stay.
He held my hand the entire flight home to Charleston, and I dozed off for a while. I was so tired I could’ve slept standing up. But I woke up and looked out the window as we passed over the Waccamaw River. I knew we were close to home. Minutes later we were on the ground and taxiing to the gate.
Passengers began to disembark.
“What do you think is waiting for us?” I said. I put the straps of my duffel bag over my shoulder and picked up my purse.
“Whatever it is, it’s going to be all right, Eliza. I’m right here.”
“Our very own Rock of Gibraltar,” I said. “Thank God.”
We worked our way through the terminal to the baggage claim area and spotted Ted. Cookie was with him. First, she saw me, then she saw Carl. I watched her face contort as she made a snap judgment. Inside of about two seconds she started huffing and puffing like a blowfish, and then she blew her stack. She rushed to Carl first and started poking his chest with her finger.
“You! You! You son of a bitch! Don’t even try to tell me that it’s a coincidence that you’re on the same plane!”
“Whoa! Cookie, calm down!” Carl said.
Then she turned to me.
“Shame on you, Eliza Stanley. Your poor husband is lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life, and you’re up to no good! Well, I have never . . .”
“Excuse me, Cookie, this is not what you think . . .” I said, realizing she thought I’d been in Greece or Italy or somewhere carrying on with Carl.
“Then explain yourselves!” she demanded.
“No, sorry, Cookie. I don’t answer to you,” I said. “How dare you!” I was getting pretty mad and I felt like Mount Etna, ready to spew. I was a grown woman with grown children, and no one spoke to me that way.
Ted finally saw what was happening, grabbed Cookie by the arm, and pulled her away.
“Cookie, get ahold of yourself,” he said. “You’ve got to stop jumping to conclusions. There’s no reason to make a scene.”
“Are you blind, Ted? Don’t you see what’s going on here?” she said.
“Lower your voice, Cookie. Whatever is going on is none of your business,” Ted said firmly. “You’re embarrassing yourself.”
She turned on her heel and blustered away to the ladies’ room. I looked at Ted.
“There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation,” I said.
“Let me explain it to him, Eliza,” Carl said.
While we waited for the bags Carl talked and Ted listened. As Carl finished talking, Ted crossed his arms and let it all sink in. Then he spoke.
“That’s a good story, but it looks like monkey business to me. Sorry, but it does.”
“Ted! I’m surprised at you,” I said. “I’ve been your faithful daughter-in-law for almost twenty-five years and you know it. I’m not interested in Carl! He’s my friend! And that’s all there is to it!”
“Right. Okay. Now, why don’t you two just get your bags and let’s get to the hospital. My son is a very sick man.”
Cookie returned with her jaw locked up as tight as a clam and refused to make eye contact with either of us. The bags came up and we took them from the carousel. We rolled them to Ted’s car in silence and rode to the hospital in silence. Finally, Carl broke the tension.
“This is absurd,” he said. “Never once have I touched Eliza or any other woman, with the exception of my wife, in all the years I’ve been married. I wouldn’t be here if Adam wasn’t one of my dearest friends. By the way, where is Eve?”
“Why, she’s by Adam’s bedside! Where else would she be?” Cookie said.
?
??Sweet Jesus,” I said.
“That figures,” Carl said.
“Look,” I said, “Carl and I don’t need anyone to accuse us of something we didn’t do. So why don’t we all just cool it and focus on Adam.”
Carl and I looked at each other. They were accusing us the same way we had accused Adam and Eve, because on the surface it probably did look like there was some monkey business going on between Carl and me. But this was different. Wasn’t it? Although a tiny little bubble in my conscience gave me a nudge to remind me that if Carl and I had been in Corfu for an extended period of time and Adam and Eve were out of the picture, something might have happened. No, something would’ve happened eventually.
We pulled into the MUSC driveway and gave the keys to the valet parking attendant. We got out and hurried to Adam’s room in the intensive care unit. Ted pushed the door open and there was Adam in the bed with an IV and all sorts of machines monitoring his status. Eve was in the chair by his side. Her face was all blotchy from crying. Adam was asleep. The whole scene was surreal.
“I’m not a match,” she said quietly and began to cry again.
“You were going to give him part of your liver?” I said. At first blush, the idea seemed as extraordinary as it did inappropriate. She thought it would be a good idea to put her liver in my husband’s body? Was she crazy?
“Wouldn’t you?” she said.
In that moment, everything changed between us. Of course she would offer to be a donor! So would I and so would Carl. Any one of us would do anything to save the other.
“Of course I would,” I said.
“As would I,” Carl said. “I’m going to go find the doctor in charge and see what I can find out.” Carl looked at the machines and all their readings and shook his head. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Cookie said to Eve, “Why don’t we go get some coffee and let Eliza have a few minutes with her husband, hmm?”
If there had been a news ticker crawling across Cookie’s forehead, it would’ve said, My daughter’s such a slut, she doesn’t see anything wrong with weeping on someone else’s husband who she’s still in love with, and she’s such an airhead she thinks no one knows.
Ted said, “I’ll come with y’all. Eliza? Would you like coffee or something?”
“No, I’m fine. Thank you.”
Not until you apologize, I thought. He shrugged his shoulders and left.
Ted, of all people I’d ever known, should’ve been the last person to suspect me of having an extramarital affair with anyone, much less with his son’s friend. He and Cookie thought they had caught us red-handed at the airport, as if Carl and I on the same flight proved a single thing. If it hadn’t been so absurd I might have laughed it off. And it struck me then that at that very moment, Cookie was telling Eve about Carl and me flying to Charleston on the same plane, that we had been in Greece together, most likely having sex every five minutes on a beach somewhere, even though it was winter, and chugging ouzo the way she’d done with some Greek stud years ago. Oh, Cookie, I thought, I’m buying you a muzzle for Christmas.
I leaned over Adam and kissed his cheek. He was warm to the touch, but his color was off. Yellow. Jaundiced.
“I’m here, sweetheart. It’s me. Eliza. I love you, Adam. We’re going to get you back on your feet.”
There was no response. I sat in the chair beside him, reached into my purse for Kiki’s worry beads, and began to pray.
Soon, Carl returned and motioned for me to come out into the hall with him.
“The hepatologist’s report says that Adam was admitted with severe abdominal distress and heavy bloating. And he was agitated. That’s why he’s so heavily sedated. If we can find a donor quickly we can save him quickly. I just got tested to see if I can donate. Do you want to get tested too?”
“Yes! Right this minute! And I’m sure the boys will want to be tested too.”
“Have you spoken to them?”
“I left a message for Max and I sent Luke a text. Luke is already in his car. I’m sure Max will show up by the end of the day.”
“Okay, so if you’re a match, there are several tests to be performed. Mainly, you have to swear you have a close personal relationship with Adam, if you are not a family member.”
“We can check that box.”
“And you have to be made to understand all the risks involved. But basically, your liver would be completely regenerated in just a few weeks.”
“Too bad my neck can’t regenerate.”
Carl looked at me like I was crazy.
“Gallows humor?” I said.
“Of course. And you’d have to get an MRI so the surgeon has a road map of your internal organs. We don’t want any unnecessary poking around in your gizzards.”
“Please!” I must have looked horrified at the thought that the surgeon might not know where to find my liver. “MRI! No big deal. I’ll take two!”
“Well, first we have to find out if you’re a match. Since Adam is critical, the labs will be on it.”
I went back down the hall with Carl to a lab where a technician took blood from my arm. While I sat there with a very tight tourniquet just above my left elbow, Adam’s predicament and the horrific possibility of his dying weighed heavily on my mind. I’d do anything I could to save him. He would move the world for me and I knew it.
“Carl?”
“Yes?”
“I’m so afraid for him.”
“So am I.”
When we went back to Adam’s room Cookie and Eve were gone. Ted was standing outside in the hall looking in through the plate-glass window. There was a nurse inside, reading the machines.
Carl slapped Ted on the back, a gesture between men that said, I’m here for you, buddy. Then he said, “Let me ask you something, Ted. Did Adam ever have to get blood for any reason?”
“Yeah, when he was a kid. Burst appendix or something. I don’t remember, but he did get some blood. Why?”
“Because that’s a possible cause of Adam’s hep C. Not that it matters now. How he got to here is practically moot.”
Ted nodded.
“And Ted?” I said.
“Yes?”
“There is no monkey business going on.”
“That’s what Adam told you too, and you didn’t believe him. So why should I believe any of you?”
“Because I’m giving you my word,” I said, incredulous that I should be accused this way.
“Listen, Eliza. Right now, there’s what I care about, right there.” He pointed toward Adam. “I just want my boy well. That’s it and that’s all.”
I didn’t blame him, really. Besides, Ted was not a busybody.
The nurse came out.
“How’s he doing?” I asked.
“He’s holding on,” she said with a hopeful tone and left.
I sat by Adam’s bed until my sons arrived, first Luke and then Max. I was so sleep deprived and jet-lagged, it was incredible I could even think straight. I must’ve been running on pure adrenaline. We went outside with Carl and he explained to them what was going on and how they might help.
“Who wouldn’t want to save their father’s life, Doc?” Max said.
“Absolutely! Where do we have to go to get the test?” Luke said.
“Come on,” Carl said. “I’ll take you to the lab.”
Time dragged so slowly that it was torturous. At around eight o’clock, after a hospital cafeteria supper that was actually not completely terrible, Ted declared he was exhausted and wanted to go get some sleep.
“Ted, go home,” I said. “If anything changes, I’ll call you right away.”
“Thanks,” Ted said. “Carl? Where are you sleeping tonight? As you and Eve are in sort of a state of flux I thought I might offer you a room.”
State of flux. Well put, I thought.
“Uh, thanks, Ted. I actually thought I might stay with Cookie, raving lunatic that she is. One, to set her straight, and two, because Eve seemed pretty down.
I think this is the time for us to all pull together, not to bicker and point fingers.”
“I see. You’re right, of course. Well, let’s get your luggage out of my car and put it in one of the boys’ cars.”
“I’ll take you downtown, Doc,” Max said to Carl.
“I’ll take Mom home,” Luke said.
“To be honest, Adam is stable right now,” Carl said. “Nothing’s going to change until we find a donor. We may as well all try and get a good night’s sleep. It’s been a very long day.”
I went back into Adam’s room and looked at him, lying there. In the morning, I’d bring his nice pajamas for him and his slippers. And I’d put a picture of all of us next to his bed. He needed a shave. I’d arrange for that. I smoothed his hair away from his face and leaned over him, kissing his forehead as gently as I could.
“Good night, sweetheart,” I said softly. “Just hold on. I love you.”
We all said good night to each other and Luke drove me back to our house on the Stono.
“So, can we talk about this donor thing? If I’m a match for Dad and they decide I’m a good candidate, what happens to me? I mean, not that it matters, because I’d do anything to help him. But I’m just wondering.”
“I think it’s a few days in the hospital and you can’t do strenuous exercise for about a month. I don’t know all the details.”
“Still. That’s not such a big deal,” Luke said.
“You know what, son? I find that whenever I’ve been cavalier about something it winds up being about fifty times bigger. We should probably wait and see.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right. I’m glad you’re here, Mom.”
“Are you serious? I would’ve crawled home from Tibet if I’d had to. I wouldn’t let your father go through something like this without me. No matter what.”
“So, you and Dad have been sailing in choppy waters for a while?”
“Yes, but there’s nothing going on that won’t be all right eventually. We just have different opinions sometimes.”
Different opinions as in, I prefer the truth and he likes to invent truth that suits him. But I didn’t tell Luke that because my children did not have to have their lives destabilized from worrying about how their parents got along. Especially at a time like this.