Holding a service for an unknown dead person was creepy. I wish that I could rewind the day and start over again. This should not have happened.
"Christian, do what you think is best, but I cannot take part in it. Death freaks me out."
His head tilted as he searched my eyes. Then after some thought, he drew a breath and nodded.
"I will take care of it, Autumn. I promise you."
With his arm wrapped around me, he led me back to the apartment above the Mercantile Store. Then he paused before descending the stairs.
"I'm really sorry, Autumn. I didn't consider how this might stir recent events in your life. I hope you can forgive me."
I could see the compassion in his eyes, and knew that he meant what he said.
"No problem, Christian. I appreciate that."
And with that, he left me to my thoughts. What if there were other bodies hidden in Dawn Haven? This brought me back to my first question. Why was the town abandoned? Maybe only the dead dwelled here now. Could this place be a memorial of some kind?
I laid down and closed my eyes. My only hope was that when sleep finally came for me, that it would be dreamless, without any nightmares.
March 18
Dear Journal,
In only three days it will be already be two weeks that I've been here. Whatever it was that I anticipated when I left Mill Valley, it certainly wasn't this. For better or worse, I have survived.
But without this journal to write my thoughts down, I'm pretty sure I would have gone completely bonkers.
I was happy that my night passed uneventfully. No dreams and no other disasters... yet. The sun was out again though it was cloudy. The beach was still soggy in spots from the rain the other day.
And there was no sign of the hand rising from the ground, yet no sign of Christian either. I wondered where he went when he disappeared.
But just as I was thinking this, his voice came from behind me.
"Happy Thursday, Autumn" he called. "How are you?"
I turned around and saw that he was leaning against the remains of a cotton candy stand.
"I'm feeling better today, thank you. So what's on the agenda?"
His face became wistful as he approached me.
"I have something for you. I've been waiting for the right moment to give it to you."
Now I must confess that I was curious. Having no idea what he wanted to give me.
"What is it?" I asked.
That familiar smile spread across his face.
"Now, now, I have to take you to it."
He paused and cocked his head mysteriously.
"So, will Autumn give me the pleasure of her company today?"
I laughed at the way he spoke. Christian reminded me of someone from out of the past. He dressed in old fashioned clothes and had that nostalgic air about him.
Maybe he was a time traveler.
"Well, are you coming?" he prompted me again.
"Yes, of course."
He clasped my hand and led me closer to the sea. And as we drew near, I could see what it was that he had made for me.
It was exquisite in every detail. He must have spent the entire night working on it. There at the edge of the sea, was the most beautiful fairytale sandcastle that I could ever imagine. He had carved turrets, porticos, and even crafted a makeshift drawbridge out of driftwood. And in the castle windows, tiny candles illuminated the moat surrounding the sculpture.
I fell to my knees before it, in sheer awe. I could not even find the words to express how I felt. Sitting beside me, I saw that he was happy because I loved it so much. I turned, and without even thinking I wrapped my arms around Christian and embraced him.
Then suddenly I realized what I was doing and became flustered drawing back.
He saw my reluctance and touched the back of my head.
"It's alright, Autumn. Please don't feel embarrassed. I enjoyed creating this for you."
He smiled tenderly.
"I realize that, and I feel so unworthy of all that you've already done for me."
He rubbed the top of my hair playfully.
"You don't have to worry about such things. It has nothing to do with being worthy."
I looked closely into his eyes trying to figure out what he meant.
"Then what is it?" I implored.
He seemed reluctant, but then began to explain.
"It's because I love you, Autumn."
The word "love" took me completely by surprise. Except for my mother, nobody had ever told me those words before. It was completely foreign, and a bit frightening to me.
Christian removed a ring from his finger and held it out.
"Autumn, would you give me the honor of being my soul mate... forever?"
That choking feeling returned and I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure how to respond. I looked around for an answer.
"Are you alright?" he asked, noticing the expression on my face.
I tried to explain my feelings to him and hoped he would understand and not be offended by my inability to reciprocate his affection. Though I was attracted to Christian, I did not really know or understand what love or a soul mate meant.
"I'm sorry Christian, but I cannot accept your ring."
Then I turned and ran as fast as my two feet could carry me.
March 19
Dear Journal,
I awoke to the sound of emptiness. I looked around and something did not seem right. Then suddenly I figured out what it was. The photograph of Christian was missing from the wall. Was he upset with me for not accepting his ring, friendship, and love.
I would have felt rejected if someone had done that to me. I really needed to apologize for my behavior. It wasn't as if he was asking for my hand in marriage. It was just a friendship ring. Isn't that what soul mates were? Christian was acquainted with love, and I'm certain he could teach me. Just because I had not the benefits of most people my age, did not mean that I could not start over and reinvent myself.
Every day was a new beginning, and I would start this one with a plea of forgiveness.
I dressed and walked down to the shore. The sandcastle was gone. Perhaps it was swallowed by the sea. Or maybe it never was there at all. Christian was nowhere to be found. Everything had been erased.
I looked around and called his name. Still nothing… I shouted it louder. Only to be met with silence.
I searched the stalls and trailers. There was no evidence of him anywhere.
Falling down upon the beach, I began to cry and could not stop. Christian had left me and gone away. I was alone again, and the feeling overwhelmed me. I curled myself into a ball. The pain was so agonizing that I felt sick. I thought I was going to die. Could someone die from loneliness?
I went back to the apartment and lay down, rubbing my eyes since the tears still stung.
There was something behind the bed. I reached down to see what it was. When my hand came back with the photograph, I experienced a wave of emotion. Christian had not taken the picture with him. It had only fallen behind the bed.
I placed it back on the wall and lay back down again. The walls of the room like my head seemed to throb, so I shut my eyes for a moment. Something touched my hand and I jumped.
It was Christian. He was sitting at the foot of my bed.
I sat upright and in a sudden fury beat his chest with both my fists.
"I thought you were gone!" I cried.
He seemed surprised at this.
"I just went for a morning walk." he said gently. "Why are you so terrified of being alone?"
My guilt had overcome me and now I felt even worse for my behavior.
"Oh Christian," I began crying again. "Please, please forgive me. I am so sorry for what I have done. I thought you had left me."
Christian moved closer.
"Left you?" he echoed. "I could never leave you, Autumn. My heart is with you."
He seemed more h
urt by this then from my rejecting his ring.
"Don't you know that I love you?"
I heaved a sigh. There was that word again …the elephant in the room. How could four letters cause such turmoil in the world?
"Yes Christian. I believe that you love me. But I really don't know what love is. If you could be patient with me, I would be willing to learn from you."
For the first time, his eyes filled with tears and I could see that they were indeed happy ones.
He reached over and held me tight and placing his lips over mine, he kissed me passionately. We remained locked in that embrace for what seemed like forever. And for the first time, I felt good. I knew he had forgiven me and provided a new chance to start over again.
I held out my hand expectantly and he placed his ring on my finger.
March 20
Dear Journal,
Today I awoke to the sound of birdsong and Christian sleeping beside me. I guess after everything I imagined about him, he was just a human after all.
I gently combed his soft hair with my hand. His sleepy eyes yawned open and looked up at me. Not the photograph, but the real color version. It felt so good to know that someone loved me and was watching out for me.
There were questions I still had no answer for, like where he got all that food from.
Christian leaned over and kissed my forehead.
"How are you, my Autumn love?"
For the first time, I believed I truly knew what bliss meant. My life was complete now with Christian.
Nothing could stop his love for me, neither time, nor death.
And with that assurance, I let my body be wrapped by his as we swam beneath the covers in an embrace of forever.
Autumn Taylor rose the next day and checked the wall calendar.
It was Sunday, March 21st.
She reached for her journal beneath the pillow and read her entry from the previous day.
Remembering the