“Never.”
“Why?”
She closed her eyes and let out a breath. “I don’t know. I guess…” She opened her eyes and stared into his. There was no derision. Simply – caring. How she knew that, she didn’t know. He cared about what she would say next. “Listen. I had a pretty rough childhood. My mom …“ She broke off and looked at her shoes. “Anyway, when I was fifteen we were on our own and bouncing from home to home and eventually I ended up in a girls’ home. After that, I had Maxi to take care of and I’ve just never had the time or inclination to date.”
Uncomfortable, she paced the tiny confines of the room before she whirled back around. “Look, you can either say yes or no. I’m not holding a gun to your head or anything. I just figured, you know, you want sex and I want to learn about all that.” She stopped and looked at him, floundering for something else to say. “Anyway …”
Tony crossed his arms and leaned against a washing machine. “Back up a second. You want me to teach you about sex?”
“Yeah, um, that would be the point.”
“I see.” He cleared his throat. Lord, help me, he thought. It was a bit of a precarious situation, but he didn’t want her to stop talking to him, so he played it out. “And why did you pick me?”
Stay direct, Robin, she thought. She brushed her hair off her forehead in a nervous movement. “Well, you’re obviously willing. And I figure that you won’t be expecting a lifelong commitment or anything, you know? Just some sex, hopefully pleasant if not good, and then you’ll be done with Hank’s and done with me.”
He lost all feeling in his legs and struggled to keep breathing normally. If he hadn’t been leaning against the machine, he would have fallen down as he realized the monumental truth.
Dear God, he was in love with her. He always hoped he’d fall in love. He had prayed God would reveal his true love to him one day. As soon as the realization hit, he knew that he’d known who she was this whole time.
Suddenly spurred with energy, he straightened and stepped forward. “You aren’t planning on hiding a knife and plotting a sneak attack or anything, are you? This isn’t a tactic to lower my guard, is it?”
Robin huffed out a breath. “You know what? Forget it. This was a bad idea to think of, much less approach you with.” The buzz of a dryer made her jump. She grabbed her laundry bag and started shoving it full of warm clothes. “Let’s just pretend this conversation never happened.”
He waited until she straightened and turned before stepping forward. She’d been in the process of slinging her laundry bag over her shoulder, and it fell unnoticed somewhere behind her as she stared up at him. His hands moved forward of their own accord and cupped her cheeks, his fingers splaying down along her neck. The touch was so incredibly soothing that Robin wanted to close her eyes and lean her forehead against his. She was so tired and out of nowhere wished she had someone to share the burden of her life.
He wondered if she realized that a single tear had escaped out of the corner of her eye and trailed over his thumb. It burned a path across his skin until he feared it would leave a mark. He rubbed his thumbs along the shadows under her eyes. A feeling of tenderness blended with the love that overflowed his heart. He cleared his throat, worried his voice was gone. “You’re on.”
He felt the muscles under his neck tense right before she opened her eyes. “Excuse me?”
“I said you’re on. I’ll teach you. All of it.”
She gave a small shake of her head to clear it. “All of it?”
“You said that I wanted sex and that you wanted to learn about all of that. I’m going to teach you about all of that.”
If her heart would slow down, maybe she could make some sense of what he was saying. “What does that mean?”
“You’ll see.” He released her face and stepped back while he looked at his watch. “What are you doing tomorrow?”
She rubbed her face with both hands and struggled to keep up with him. “Um, the week begins. I have to be at Benedict’s from ten-thirty until three, then Hank’s at six to one.”
He mentally made all of the arrangements he needed for his schedule and nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He put a hand on either side of her face and kissed her forehead.
She stood there dumbly, staring at the doorway, long after he was gone. The sound of another dryer buzzing finally broke her trance and, for some reason feeling lighter than she ever had in her life, she hummed under her breath while she unloaded her clothes into her bag.
CHAPTER 7
OBIN’S car shuddered as she pulled into her parking space and shut it off. As she opened the door, the smell of exhaust stung her nose. The car was made the same year Sarah was born. As Robin rounded the hood she gave the old girl a little pat, hoping that kindness would make it run one more day.
Just as she stepped onto the curb to go into the building, a sleek red sports car whipped into the spot next to hers. She started to smile, bit her lip, then thought better of it and allowed the smile. As Tony climbed out of the low car, her stomach did a nervous lurch.
He wore a brown leather jacket over a button down shirt with no tie, and a pair of khaki pants. He looked like a model showing off the perfect weekday casual look. He slipped off his sunglasses and smiled as he strolled up to her. “Good afternoon,” he said.
Robin’s mouth went dry. All day long she could think of nothing but the conversation the night before. She felt some excitement at the prospect of what she proposed, but in the light of day, she also felt quite foolish. “Tony, hi. Look –”
He cupped her elbow under his hand and steered her toward the building. “No time. Go get changed. Jeans are fine. Grab your clothes for Hank’s and meet me back down here. We need to drive away fifteen minutes from now.”
As he propelled her toward the door, she tried to catch up to what he said. “Leave? What?”
He smiled. “Just get changed. Fifteen minutes.” He looked at his watch. “Fourteen.”
Flustered, Robin went inside and up to her apartment. She couldn’t imagine where he thought they were going when she had to be at work in less than three hours, but she followed his instructions until, three minutes later, she locked the door behind her wearing jeans with a cotton top and carrying her Hank’s Place uniform in a grocery bag.
She found him where she left him, leaning against the hood of his car, his legs crossed in front of him at the ankle. When he saw her approaching, he straightened and grinned. “Thank you for hurrying,” he said, hitting a button on the keys in his hand to release the latch that kept the trunk closed. He took the bag from her and set it in the trunk, then moved to the passenger door and opened it. “We have to be downtown by four.”
“Why?” She lowered herself into the car. He shut the door and rushed around the front to the driver’s side.
He slid in and started the car in one movement. “Because the movie starts at four.”
“Movie? Tony, I have to be at work at six.”
Her shoulders hit the back of the seat as he accelerated out of the parking lot and turned the zippy little car toward downtown. “Robin, do you think I didn’t hear you last night or pay attention to what you said?”
She felt her face surge with heat at some of the things she’d said last night. “Of course not.”
“Then relax. I know what time you have to be at work.” He shot her a glance and reached out, capturing her hand with his. “Have fun without worrying about something.”
Instead of arguing about the fact that she didn’t worry, when she knew all she did was worry, she sat back and enjoyed the way he drove the car. Tony had no fear, had amazing confidence, and it came out in his driving. He zipped through the heavy afternoon traffic without stressing out about the way cab drivers cut people off, about missing a green light. He stayed lighthearted, happy, calm, all the while driving with a skill that leant no doubt that he knew exactly how to drive that powerful machine the way it was intended to be driven.
/> “How was your day?” He asked while idling at a red light.
Robin turned from looking at the downtown scenery around her and found him looking directly at her. “My day?”
His smile made her heart skip a beat. “Yeah,” he drawled, “your day. Tell me about it.”
“I served brunch and lunch to some power players and some over indulged wives all morning and afternoon.”
He put the car in gear and shot away from the light, changing lanes to get around a bus. “And nothing exciting or interesting happened?”
“What? You want me to tell you who had a two martini lunch?”
She felt her body moving forward against the seat belt as he had to quickly hit the brakes for a cab that jolted out in front of them. “No, Robin. I want to know about YOUR day.” He shot her a quick smile. “How about I start? I’ll tell you about my day. I was so excited about this afternoon that I forgot about a big meeting. I walked into my office and Margaret, my secretary, told me they were waiting for me in the conference room. I said, ‘Who is waiting?’ She looked so worried about me that I wanted to hug her.”
He stopped talking so she assumed he wanted her to speak. She searched her mind, trying to come up with something interesting to tell him. “After lunch today, when the restaurant was closed, a woman and her daughter came in. They’re having her bridal shower there and wanted to discuss menus and staff. They started arguing over what kind of sandwich to serve, and the daughter started screeching at the mom over having chives or no chives in their cucumber sandwiches. She had a total breakdown, and as soon as the mother agreed with her, she immediately calmed down and went on with the meeting.” Robin reached up and started pulling pins from her hair. “She made me think of a two-year-old having a temper tantrum.”
At another stoplight, Tony looked at her again and forgot what he was about to say as he watched her hair tumble out of the tight bun that had confined it all day. Robin closed her eyes and ran her fingers over her scalp, making Tony wish he were the one doing that. He looked back to the road in front of him in time to see the light change to green. “I imagine you see a lot of temper tantrums there.”
“People are people. I like most of my customers.”
“You don’t mind the excessive lifestyle?”
With a smile, she said, “What do I know of excess? I know of some lifestyles I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies. What I see at Benedicts is just another way of life.”
“You don’t wish it were you?”
Now she snorted. “Yeah, right. Because I’d fit in as well as a square peg.” She turned her body as much as her seat belt would allow. “I don’t care about stuff like that. You can’t imagine how good my life is compared to what it used to be. I work hard. I work honest. And my sisters are taken care of. That’s the only thing that matters to me.”
They reached their destination and Tony found a parking space. The ways he could carry that conversation could take hours, could go deep, could go life-altering. Right now, he just wanted to enjoy the next hour or so.
When he pulled into the parking lot of the Museum of Science, Robin was confused. Tony tapped the clock on the dash before he turned the car off. “Ten minutes to spare,” he said with a wink.
He was out of the car in a fluid movement and had her door open before she even had her seat belt off. He took her hand and helped her out of the car, but instead of releasing her, he just shifted her hand to his other and walked with her to the museum entrance.
“What are we doing here?” She asked.
He gave her hand a squeeze as he opened the door for her. “Going to the movie. I told you.” At the admissions desk, he bought two tickets to the IMAX theater and steered her past the cafe, the store, and to the theater. There he bought a huge tub of popcorn, a box of chocolate covered raisins, and two drinks. Robin smiled as he flirted with the teenager behind the counter and realized that the tension was gone from her shoulders and neck and she felt lighthearted, almost carefree.
Tony turned to hand over her drink and caught her eyes. For a moment he stared at her, then winked and picked up the rest of the goodies. “Shall we?”
They watched a space documentary presented in 3-D. She sat next to him in a darkened theater on a Monday afternoon, two hours before a work shift started, eating buttered popcorn and chocolate covered raisins, and watching a 3-D movie. Her first experience with a 3-D movie, even, which made her duck the first few times a roving comet or an exploding star headed in her direction.
Some time after he set the empty tub at their feet, Tony took Robin’s hand in his. She threaded her fingers with his and settled herself as close as the theater seats would allow and just enjoyed it. Enjoyed herself – enjoyed him – enjoyed being there with him.
When the lights came on and the world returned, Robin found herself wishing for just another few minutes. But time wouldn’t allow it, especially at rush hour. So they gathered their trash and left the museum.
In the car again, this time headed toward Hank’s Place, Tony stopped in the dead-stop traffic and put the engine in neutral. He turned his head and looked at Robin, happy to see the relaxed glow on her face. “Did you enjoy that?”
She smiled as she rolled her head on the seat to look at him. “That was fun.”
“Are you interested in space and the cosmos?”
With a shrug she turned in her seat so that she nearly faced him. “I don’t know. I’ve never looked into it before.” Not wanting him to think she was trying to discourage conversation, she said, “What about you?”
“I am extremely busy.” He inched the car forward. “I have very little free time to pursue any intellectual pursuits. However, anything having to do with the majesty of God’s creation interests me on a purely emotional level. A friend saw this show with his kids and assured me that it contained nothing that would insult my belief in Creationism, so I’ve been looking forward to seeing it.”
She nodded, digesting this new information about him. “You’re pretty much unapologetically a Christian, aren’t you?”
His laugh surprised her. He shook his head while he grinned and let a minivan in before inching forward some more. “Pretty much,” he said with a smile.
“Do you go to church and stuff?”
A break in the traffic allowed him to shoot forward three or four car lengths. “And stuff.” When he could take his eyes off the road again, he looked back at her. “If you want to come with me some time, just let me know. I’d love to have you by my side.”
What little she knew of church didn’t hold any appeal to her. “Uh, thanks. But no thanks.”
Tony shrugged and found a spot to surge forward half a block. “It’s an open invitation. And I reserve the right to ask again.”
HE next day, Tony showed up outside of Benedicts in a stretch limo. When Robin climbed in, she saw the picnic he had laid out on the floor of the limo, complete with a red and white checked tablecloth.
“What is this?” She asked, shedding her coat in the warmth of the interior of the car.
“Well,” Tony said, sitting on the floor with his back against the base of the seat. “I wanted to take you on a picnic, but it’s so cold outside.”
Robin laughed and accepted the bottle of water from him as the limo pulled away from the curb. “You’re from Boston, aren’t you? You’re going to let a little autumn air get in your way?”
For a brief moment, he had a flash of the past. The shiver that went through him was more than a memory. “I don’t do cold.” He opened the picnic basket at his side and dug around until he came out with a bowl of grapes. “Soon it will be time for my annual migration to The Keys.”
“Florida?” That sounded so far away to someone who had never been outside of the greater Boston area in her life. “What’s there?”
He tipped his water bottle toward her as if toasting. “Not cold.”
“Ah,” Robin said with a wink. “Got you.”
Tony held his hand out. “Do yo
u mind if we bless this food before we eat it?”
Robin paused, hesitated, then placed her hand in his. She politely bowed her head, but didn’t listen much to what he said. Instead, she just listened to his voice, felt the touch of his hand, and wondered. Wondered who this man was who was such a huge financial success, but who wouldn’t eat until he’d prayed to God to bless it. What did he think of her, if at all, and her lack of prayer, her lack of God?
Having seen the darker side of the world, of humanity, she wondered how there could even be a God. Who let little girls get beaten, starved, terrified, raped? What God would allow that? What God would turn His back on mothers who pumped their bodies full of chemicals, who latched on to any man who would take her and her three children in, regardless of the consequence to the daughters?
Maybe Tony didn’t know about such darkness, so it gave him an ignorant faith and allowed him to bee-bop from the Keys to Boston and back again without a care in the world. Maybe that’s how he could get by with believing what he believed.
He’d said “Amen” and squeezed her hand. She raised her eyes and realized he hadn’t released her hand. She sat in the seat and he sat at her feet and held her hand in his, looking at her face. When she finally focused her attention on him, he smiled. “Thank you for sharing this meal with me.”
She ran her tongue over her lips in a nervous gesture. “I don’t really know what to do next.”
He held her eyes for several seconds before letting go of her hand. “You enjoy your meal,” he said, handing her a napkin and a bowl with a lid. “And when we’re done, you will be at Hank’s in plenty of time to get ready for work. Maxine packed your uniform for me.”
OBIN had about five minutes to spare to get dressed. Tony watched her rush through the back entrance to the staff rest room in order to change. He followed more slowly, stopping inside the kitchen door to get a cup of coffee. As he turned, he met Hank’s watchful gaze.
Hank stood on the outside of the stainless steel counter, talking to the kitchen staff through the warming lights and to the wait staff who stood around him. He kept talking while he measured Tony, and never one to be intimidated, Tony returned the stare just as thoughtfully. When Hank finished his predinner rush meeting with the staff, he dismissed them to get back to work and met Tony at the wooden table.