Nuzzling her neck, he kissed his way up to her mouth, easing his weight just a little from her, although he kept his hips tight against the cradle of hers. Kissing her was a forever pastime. It was easy to lose himself in the heated velvet of her mouth, that dark, enticing erotic taste that was Saria. He levered himself up onto his elbows and framed her face with his hands, kissing her over and over. He loved kissing her. She gave herself to him, as she had when he made love to her. Totally. Holding nothing back.
"I can't live without you, Saria," he admitted softly, searching her eyes for an answering sign that she might feel the same way. "I've been alone too damned long. No one will ever need you or want you the way I do. Don't run from me."
She moistened her lips. "I'm scared."
The admission turned his heart over. "I know you are, baby. I swear I don't want to take over your life. I want to be a part of it. Say yes. I don't want to make love to you once or twice and then have you disappear out of my life."
"It's a big commitment. I'm not easy, Drake. Nothin' about me is easy. Ask my brothers. Ask Pauline. I don' know if it's my leopard, but since I was a child, I've gone my own way and I don' know any other way."
"Has it occurred to you that your independence is one of the things that attracts me most? I don't want to change you. I like you a little wild, honey."
"I don' want you to tell me it was all a terrible mistake a few weeks from now, Drake. I think it's your leopard and my leopard makin' you so crazy about me. You belong with someone like Charisse or Danae. You told me yourself every leopard for miles would be crazy for me. Look what happened the other night."
He kissed the tip of her nose. "Is that what you think? That I don't know the difference between a woman I want and one my leopard wants? We're shifters, Saria, not separate entities. I am my leopard, just as you are yours. We both are the same and we both choose you. Your leopard would never allow you to choose anyone incompatible. Mates can repeat for many life cycles. You're the one I want. Just as you are."
She blinked, but held his gaze. "I know I want to be with you, Drake. I'm not afraid of commitment, just of myself. I know how I am. I don' want to disappoint you. What if you want to live somewhere else and I go with you and can't stay? That could happen. When I was away at school, I couldn't breathe."
"Then we'll come back."
"But you'd resent me."
He laughed softly and leaned down to kiss her again. He did it thoroughly, until he almost lost track of what had been said. "Silly woman. I don't give a damn where we live. Besides, someone has to clean up this lair. And you'd probably run up thousands of dollars in phone bills calling Pauline."
A slow smile started at the curve of her mouth and warmed her eyes. She raised her head to capture his mouth with hers, her kiss not quite so tentative this time.
"So the answer is yes." He made it a statement.
"Yes."
"So are you Catholic? Do we get married in a church?"
She blinked at him again. He nearly laughed at the shock on her face. "Love. Commitment. Marriage. Babies. That's what that yes was all about, Saria. You said it and I know a woman like you won't go back on your word."
"Commitment. I was agreeing to commitment. I thought I was findin' my way to lovin' you until you mentioned that baby part. I wouldn't know what to do with a baby. Sheesh, Donovan. You don' want much do you?"
"No, just everything."
She shook her head, but her eyes told him she was already his. He kissed her again before she could form any more protests. This time when he lifted his head he laughed softly. "Fine, we'll put the baby idea on hold for a little while, but not too long. Miss Pauline wants grandchildren."
"That's such a low blow."
"Because you'd do anything for Pauline," he said.
Drake eased his body off of hers and rolled onto his side, taking his weight from her. Saria's gaze drifted over his face.
"It's hard to let go of that physical connection with you. I feel a little empty." She took his hand and put it over her heart. "Do you feel my heart pounding? I swear there's buzzin' in my head instead of brains. I think you managed to short-circuit something."
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her tight against his body, not wanting to let go of the physical connection between them either. "I think this is the only way I'll be able to keep you, Saria--a little dazed and bemused from sex. When it wears off, let me know and we'll start again. That way, you won't see the marriage and baby part sneaking up on you."
Saria yawned. "I'm watchin' you."
"You're trying to go to sleep. Not yet, baby. Let me run a quick bath for you. You'll be sore tomorrow and I've got more plans when we wake up." He dropped another kiss on her temple and slid from the bed.
Saria made a halfhearted attempt to catch his hand, then turned away to snuggle back under the comforter. Drake laughed again and padded barefoot to his bathroom. The clawfoot tub was old-fashioned, deep and inviting. He'd soaked away the bruises and painful aches and he was determined that Saria do the same. He wanted her experience to be only pleasurable. When the tub was nearly filled, he went back to the bedroom to get her.
She lay on her side, her thick, wild hair partially covering her face. The ragged ends on top were a little spiky and he found himself smiling as he watched her. Her lashes lay like two thick crescents on her cheeks, she breathed lightly and softly, drawing his attention to her curved mouth. She looked young in her sleep, soft and beautiful and way out of his league. His heart did that strange little stutter that had warned him from their first meeting that he was in trouble.
How had his life become so intertwined with hers so fast? How did one fall for a woman and know he couldn't live without her in a matter of days? For him, their time together was forever--he was that certain. He knew Saria was meant for him and that no matter what happened in the future, it would be Saria he always wanted.
He scooped her into his arms, ignoring her sleepy protest. She might not need a man to protect or take care of her, but she had one that wanted--no--needed to do just that. He laughed softly at her squirming and cradled her tight against his chest as he took her through to the bathroom. She was solid in his arms, all soft curves and satin skin. He couldn't help kissing her upturned mouth for a long, languid indulgent few moments before trailing more kisses to the tip of her left breast.
She didn't flinch or pull away as he half expected her to do. She had to be a little sore. There was blood and semen on her thighs, evidence of her first time, and she'd been incredibly tight. He was a large man and he'd felt the stretching of her body.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you, Saria, I tried to be gentle." He had been so close to the edge of his control, a shocking first for him.
"Silly man. You didn't hurt me." She glanced down at the steaming water. "You aren't plannin' on throwin' me in there, are you?"
"Not this time," he admitted. He lowered her feet first until she was standing. "It's going to feel good, honey."
"So would sleep. And while I'm sittin' in here, you can entertain me. You aren't sleepin' while I'm takin' a bath." Saria sank down into the hot water and sighed with pleasure. "You're right, it does feel good. You really are incredible, you know."
"I wish, honey, but the sad truth is, I'm selfish. I want to wake you up tomorrow morning or maybe an hour or two from now." Drake laughed and nudged her legs over. "I'm coming in with you."
She leaned her head back against the porcelain. "I'll probably drown, or we'll soak the floor, but I'm fine with that. This is very relaxin'. Maybe I can sleep right here."
He placed her feet in his lap and began a slow massage under water. "Go ahead, Saria, I'll carry you back to bed."
"Tell me where you grew up," she encouraged, opening her eyes to look at him through her long lashes. "I think you would have made an interestin' child."
"I come from a lair in the Borneo rain forest. Children there are pretty much taken care of by everyone. We run free and have no
idea we're learning skills that will come in handy later on in life. Survival, hunting, basically, all the things you learned here."
"School?" she asked.
"Mandatory. We have teachers in our villages and then later we are required to go to outside schools. We're encouraged to travel to other lairs in search of true mates. That keeps our lair strong as well as the others."
She frowned, sitting up a little straighter. Her breasts floated temptingly and Drake stroked one creamy swell to the darkened tip. Her nipple hardened under his touch.
"Is that what we should have done? All of the children when they grow up, search out other lairs?"
"Of course. Bloodlines get weak or they marry outside the lair and produce children with leopards who are unable to shift."
Drake knew he sounded distracted, but she had beautiful breasts. He leaned forward, cupping the slight weight on one palm and drew her nipple into his mouth. His cock jerked, and a warm, pleasant feeling of exquisite happiness filled him. This, then, was how it should be. He knew the terrible craving for her would rise, an urgent, almost brutal need, but there was this--comfortable--right--relaxed contentment.
She ran her fingers through his hair. "I love the way you look at me, Drake."
"Good, because I love looking at you."
"You make me feel beautiful."
"You are beautiful."
She made a small derisive sound in the back of her throat. "My mouth and eyes are too big for my face. And I'm sort of . . ." She looked down at her body and made a face. "Curvy."
His thumbs slid over her nipples, sending a shiver through her body. "You're so responsive--and I love your curves."
She wiggled her toes. "I rather like that foot massage you had goin' . If you're gettin' all hot and bothered again, I'm sleepin' through it this time."
"Clearly I'm going to have to improve my skills." He took her foot back in his hands. She looked exhausted--happy--but exhausted.
"I don't think improvin' your skills is a good idea. You'll kill us both." She closed her eyes, a small smile tugging at her mouth.
He didn't want her to fall asleep in the tub, but the water was still hot and he wanted her to soak a few more minutes. "Would you mind filling me in on some of the families? The shifters, those who are part of the lair. I need to know what they're like."
She opened her eyes enough to peek at him. "Like who? I didn't know anyone other than my brothers were shifters. I didn't even know the Lafont family had shifter blood in them. As secrets go, they've all been good at keepin' them."
"There's one family that leases from Jake and no one has mentioned them," Drake said. "Can you tell me a little about them? The last name is Pinet. No one has mentioned them at all and that makes me wonder. I need a complete list of suspects."
Saria made a derisive sound in her throat. "You can cross them off your list of suspects. They have a big family, very close and lots of fun. Good people. Mr. Pinet was there when you fought Amos for leadership."
"I didn't fight him for leadership, I fought him for you."
She shrugged with a litte smirk on her face. "Whatever. Mr. Pinet was there, but not his children. The three older boys, Charles, Leon and Philippe, are serving in the military, so they're not even around here at the moment and they just aren't like that. Mr. and Mrs. Pinet have a daughter, Sabine, who went off to college this year. And the two younger boys are still in high school."
"I see." Weariness was overcoming him fast. Drake picked up her other foot. "You know most of these people. Who would you suspect? And who do you suppose Remy suspects? Because I got the feeling he was holding something back."
"You're probably right about Remy. He plays things close to his chest." Saria yawned and covered her mouth. "I need to go to sleep, Drake."
He took her hand to look at her nails, devoid of color. She'd probably never had a manicure in her life. His fingers stroked over hers. "Okay, honey, let's get you into bed. But at least think about it. Whoever is doing this didn't just start. Maybe they were cruel to animals. A bully in the play yard."
He stood up, allowing the water to cascade off him, tugging at her hand so she stood as well. He released the plug to let the water out and lifted her onto the bathmat.
Saria reached for a towel, but he took it from her hands. "My turn." He dried every inch of her as gently as he could, and then himself, before lifting her into his arms.
"I could get used to this."
"You're going to get used to a lot of things," he predicted.
Her smile was drowsy. "You're so sure of yourself."
"I know when I'm good at things."
She burst out laughing, a soft musical sound that tightened his groin. He drew back the comforter and placed her in the middle of the bed. Before she could scoot over, he stretched out beside her. It had begun to rain and the sound through the open French doors created an intimate rhythm on the balcony.
"Don't you love the sound of rain?" she asked.
"Yes." But it was her laughter he loved. He wrapped his arm around her waist and scooted her tight against him. "Where's your knife?"
"My knife?" She echoed the word, her tone dripping with innocence.
He bit her shoulder gently. "I know you have it here somewhere. You sleep with the damn thing."
Her laughter was taunting. It slid inside him and wrapped around his heart. "Does that scare you?"
"Hell yeah," he said. "One of these nights you'll get angry with me and . . ."
"Wait!"
Saria started to sit up and then retreated when he refused to move his arm. He pinned her with one leg draped over her thigh.
"What is it?"
"Lojos and Gage came home one day very angry, about two years ago. They'd been off trappin', and I'd never seen them in such foul moods. They aren't like that, you know? They laugh a lot and tease the way men often do, but Gage actually punched the wall outside and Lojos was like a bear with a sore tooth. At first I thought they got in a fight, but then I heard them talkin' to Dash. Someone had gone along their trap lines and tortured the animals. Most were still alive, and the boys killed them to put them out of their misery."
"What were they trapping?"
"You know nutria isn't native to Louisiana. They came here from South America to fur farms and were released. No one knows if it was accidental or on purpose, but they're impacting our wetlands adversely. A huge study was done to put in place a plan to control the population and we participate. But we don't torture animals, Drake. There's a huntin' season, just like with alligators. We want the swamp to flourish. With oil spills and hurricanes and everythin' else we have to contend with, almost all of us here conform to the regulations. And no one that we know would ever torture an animal for fun."
"Did they find out who did it?"
She frowned. "That was the strange thing. There were no tracks."
"And no scent," he guessed.
"At the time, they weren't admittin' to me they were shifters, so if there wasn't any scent, they didn't mention it, but they didn't want me goin' out in the swamp by myself."
Drake listened to the sound of her voice closely there in the dark, with the rain providing a musical background. There was an underlying hurt in her tone when she spoke of her brothers. The boys in her family had been close, but it was as if they hadn't really noticed her until she got older. By the time they wanted to exert authority over her, she had taken firm control of her own life and resented their interference.
He rubbed his chin over the top of her head. "Would they have told Remy if there was evidence of a leopard as well as a human attack?"
"Of course. Remy's the acknowledged head of the family and he'd beat the crap out of one of them if they held somethin' like that back."
"He didn't try to beat you," Drake felt compelled to point out.
"Remy would never hit me. None of my brothers would." She was silent a moment and then half turned toward him to look at him, her eyes wide. "I had forgotten, but now that
you say that, I remember Remy takin' the switch from Pere and breakin' it in half. I got in trouble for sneakin' off at night."
She talked so rarely about her childhood that he wanted to hear more. "Why'd you sneak off like that?"
A half smile touched her mouth. "I was angry with mon pere for gettin' so drunk. He made a terrible mess on my floor and even the sofa. Pauline had made me the most beautiful cover. Our sofa was old and fallin' apart and he ruined the cover. I knew I'd never get the stain out, so I threw a bucket of water on him where he was layin' in the mess and stormed out. He was too drunk to catch me that night, but I went back a couple of nights later and he went to switch the tar out of me."
"How old were you?"
"About nine." She turned back, snuggling into her pillow. "I haven't thought about that in years. Remy had come home and he came barrelin' out of his room and yanked the switch out of mon pere's hands and told him if he ever touched me lke that again, he'd get the switchin' of his life. Funny that I didn't remember that until now. That's probably how I always knew Remy wouldn't ever hit me in anger. He was furious with mon pere."
"I would have been too."
She laughed. "You say that now. You haven't lived with me. Pauline says I could try the patience of a saint. As I recall you said you were no saint."
"I did say that, didn't I?" He spread his fingers over the slight roundness of her stomach. He loved the way she felt so soft. "I'm definitely not, as much as I'd like to be for you."
"I rather like that you're no saint. I couldn't live up to one."
A sudden blast of wind sent a barrage of rain into the room and the curtains flying. Saria yelped and put the covers over her head as the drops of water poured over them. Laughing, Drake leapt out of bed and caught the doors to close them.
"Miss Pauline is goin' to kill me," Saria wailed, her voice muffled. "She loves those curtains."
Drake pulled the first door closed, but stopped, looking out over the water in the distance. Rain swept down in silvery sheets, dotting the surface of the lake. Something moved just inside the tree line, where the hammocks were slung in the trees.
"What is it?" Saria peeked out from under the blankets.
When she went to move, he held up his hand as he would have for one of his team members. It didn't occur to him she wouldn't obey. Saria was intelligent and she knew the danger of what he'd done--challenging the leader of the lair. Already the two of them had been hunted. Armande and Robert swore they were only trying to scare off Drake, but Robert had made his try twice with a weapon.