"Not much, been racing a lot."
"Do you race for anything?"
"It's not Fast and the Furious, Tegan."
"Well, I don't know," I said. "It just seems pointless to do it for no reason."
"There's a reason. You race for the biggest balls."
"Lovely," I replied, turning my nose up in disgust. I wished I never asked. "Can I come again?"
"Wanna perv over the Lamborghini?"
I nodded. That car was amazing. "And you can take me out in it again and let me have a go. Danny doesn't need to know a thing."
"Yeah, that's not gonna happen."
I laughed and laid back in the sofa. This was going well. The friend thing was going to work.
"Tell me how sixth form is going? Are you going to uni?"
I launched into giving him the low down on my classes and what I wanted to do once I'd finished my A levels, which wasn't a long discussion because I wasn't sure if I wanted to go on to university yet. It was really nice to have a conversation with him that wasn't intense or full of tension.
"I should get going," I said after forty-five minutes of chatting.
"Alright." He got up with me and walked to the front door. "You sure you don't want me to take you home?" he asked.
"Thanks but I already have a bus ticket."
"Okay, I'll see you soon." We exchanged a hug and I kissed him on the cheek. It felt normal and finally uncomplicated.
"See you later, Tegan."
I turned around and said, "Thank you so much, Lucas."
"For what?"
"For saving me."
He nodded, his lips pulled up into a genuine smile.
'Thank you' seemed so small compared to what he did for me but I didn't know what else to say. There was nothing huge enough to describe how grateful I was to him. He let me go despite not wanting to so I could concentrate on getting better.
Walking away from Lucas felt odd. We were one hundred per cent over but I felt fine about it. I wanted him in my life but friendship was all we were supposed to have and I was so lucky that we managed to get past the crap to be friends.
"How did it go?" Mum asked the second I stepped through the door "Good, actually."
"Really? That's great. What happened? What did you decide to do?"
I held my hands up. "Can I get properly inside the house before you start the inquisition?"
Mum waited literally until I was sitting down before asking, "So, what happened?"
"We talked about what we wanted and realised we just want to be friends. That was about it."
"That was it?" Ava said flatly.
"Okay, no, but that's all I'm going to tell you." I grinned smugly and reached for the bowl of peanut M&Ms. They already had the junk food laid out, result. "I think things are going to be okay. I'm determined to work on fixing it like I am with you two."
"It's fixed, Tegan. We're family, you're my daughter, and I will never stop loving you. No matter what you do or how big of a pain in the arse you become, our relationship will always be fixable, I will always forgive because that's what you do when you're a mother."
A few months ago I wouldn't have believed that, I wasn't close to them and I barely felt like family but that'd changed. It wasn't just what you did when you were a mum it was what you did when you loved someone and I loved them both so much.
"See, baby sis, everything is fine so stop worrying and feeling guilty. It's done, you've apologised a thousand times and you've changed your life. We forgave you a long time ago."
"Thanks, Ava," I said.
She smiled and added, "So, you're really not going to spill? It's a girls' night, it's like compulsory."
I rolled my eyes, though she did have a point. But I'd only just started joining in on their girls' nights so I didn't feel compelled to spill all. "If I feel like it later I'll tell, okay?" I said. That was the best she was going to get because, frankly, it was private and that's how I liked it.
Chapter Fifty-Six
Tegan
I met Lucas in the cafe halfway between our houses. We'd been meeting every week since we made peace last month and it was really nice. It hadn't always been easy but we wanted to stay friends so we both put the effort in.
The first time we'd decided to meet he'd offered to pick me up and go somewhere local to me. I didn't mind when we were together but we were trying to redefine boundaries so it didn't seem right him going right out of his way to see me.
It was still early days but last week was the first time that there was no awkwardness at all so hopefully that part was done. There was now less than two months until Christmas and everyone was starting to get in the sprit of the season. Kai's birthday was the twenty-ninth of October - two days away. We were having a small party at his that I'd planned and I wanted to invite Lucas, too, since and Kai were talking.
"Hey," I said, sitting down at the tinsel-decorated table he'd chosen. There was a latte waiting for me, too. "Thanks."
"How've you been?"
"Good. You?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." He ignored his phone as it buzzed once in his pocket. "Sixth form still going well?"
"Ugh, it's going."
He laughed. "No university plans then?"
"No," I replied. "I think I'm pretty much over the learning thing now."
"So, what's the plan?"
"Kai thinks I should open a music shop," I said, rolling my eyes and taking a sip of my latte.
"What's wrong with that?"
"That was Dad's dream. I don't want to do it without him."
"Do you honestly think you'd be doing it alone? That he wouldn't be right there with you?"
"I don't know." It was something to consider. I certainly had enough money to start up a business, Dad made sure of that with his three life insurance policies. I knew the amount now. My eighteenth birthday was only a few months away and on that day I'd be two hundred and fifty thousand pounds richer.
His phone buzzed again and I saw him squirm in his seat. "You don't need to make a decision yet. How's Kai?"
Kai and Luke were fine now; all they had to do was give each other a chance. It was less awkward them talking at first than me and Luke!
I narrowed my eyes and put the oversized mug down. "Alright, what's going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't play stupid with me. You're acting weird and ignoring your phone. Spill, Lucas."
He opened his mouth and closed it again.
"Oh, okay," I said, realising what was going on. "Tell me about her."
Frowning, he replied, "I don't know if that's a good idea."
"I thought we agreed to be friends."
"We did."
"So, what's the problem?"
"Really, Tegan? You were my first serious girlfriend, we've only just got to a stage where things are comfortable between us and you want me to talk about this?"
"Yeah, I do. We talked about this, about what we really were. I loved you, Luke, but you know, because you said it first, that it wasn't real." I loved him, that much I was sure of, but it was as a friend and someone that was so important to me. "I'm not just any ex, so please don't treat me like one."
The corner of his mouth kicked up. "I do love you, shorty."
"Good, now tell me about her." I held my finger up as he opened his mouth. "No, let me guess... Annie?"
"Alright, Sherlock. Yeah, it's Annie. We're not together."
"You don't have to explain yourself to me. I know I've only met her once but I liked her."
"We've been hanging out more."
"You like her."
Avoiding my eyes, he replied, "I do. We've been out before, as you know, but this time seems different."
"You're both older and one of you isn't fucked up."
He laughed and I felt the tension melt away. "You weren't that bad."
"You're too nice."
"So, you're not seeing anyone?"
"No. I've gone off men."
He smirked. "Rea
lly?"
I could tell what he was thinking: Kai. Honestly, the guy turned me on so much I wanted to keep him locked in the bedroom but I couldn't even think about being in a relationship.
"Maybe not forever, but right now I'm working on myself and rebuilding a relationship with Mum and Ava. I hurt them for a long time and the old me wouldn't have done that. I think I've got about another five hundred cupcakes, lots of apologising and doing housework before I'll consider forgiving myself for how I behaved."
"You're too hard on yourself."
"Maybe, maybe not."
"Why haven't you made me any cake?"
I grinned and picked my latte up again. "I don't feel that bad about you."
"Oh, thanks," he said sarcastically. "I'm proud of you, Tegan."
"Thank you. Hey, I know you and Kai have been getting on a lot more, his birthday is coming up and I wanted to know if you'd like to come? It's at his and you can bring Annie if you want?"
"When is it?"
"Saturday."
He thought for a second and then nodded. "Okay, that'd be nice actually."
I thought so, too.
I smiled. "Cool. Wanna finish this and take me to the track?"
"Annie won't be there today."
Damn, he could see right through me. I shrugged. "Well, I'll just have to watch you race then. Honestly, Luke, you deserve to be happy and if she makes you happy then got for it. And text her back, you're being rude."
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Kai
It had been around three months since Tegan and Lucas had sorted things out and realised they were, and would always be, better as friends. They were both doing good and getting along, and I was going fucking crazy. How long was long enough to give someone after a break-up? I wanted to pour my heart out to her about two months ago.
But I cared about her more than I cared about me so I could wait until I knew she was ready for a relationship. There was no way I was jumping into anything with her and risking it getting fucked up like Lucas had. I understood what she'd been through and that she needed to sort herself out first. She'd done that now so it must be the right time. And I wasn't sure how much longer I could go on having blue balls for.
Tegan waved her hand in front of my face, snapping me out of it. "Hello? Where were you?" she asked. My eyes went straight to her chest and snapped back up. Fuck, that was a perfectly tight top.
Don't jump her.
I replied, "Sorry. So, what film did you pick?" It was early January and absolutely freezing outside so instead of going out we spent a lot of time at mine having movie nights.
The corner of her mouth turned up in that little half grin that meant she was hiding something. Her hands were behind her back. I groaned as I realised what she had picked. "No way, Tegan. Come on, not again."
She flopped down on the sofa next to me, practically on top of me, and pouted. Her breast pressed against my side. Yeah, we were watching that again.
"Please, Kai?"
"Fine. But no more this week," I said, a little breathlessly.
She grinned triumphantly and got up. Well, I guess I didn't have the same effect on her as she did on me. I was ready to strip her clothes off and take her on the sofa.
The start menu for Magic Mike appeared on the screen. I died a little more inside and Tegan pressed enter. We had a pact that she'd never tell anyone I'd watched it if I didn't complain about how unhealthy her perverted little mind was.
Sighing, I pushed myself up. "I'll make popcorn. Sweet or toffee?"
She thought about it hard, as if she was deciding something life changing. "Sweet, please."
"Tough decision, was it?"
"Bite me, Kai."
Don't tempt me.
Memories of biting her collarbone while she was beneath me flooded my mind. I took a deep breath and went to the kitchen.
I threw a bag of cinema sweet popcorn in the microwave and grabbed a couple cokes from the fridge. When the popcorn was ready and I couldn't hold off watching that fucking film again, I went back to join her. Tegan was laid out on the sofa with her feet up like she owned the place.
"Thanks," she said, grabbing a handful of popcorn and leaning against my side. I put the bottle of coke on the floor in front of us and wrapped my arm around her. She moved straight away and let me pull her closer against my body. "You missed the first couple minutes. Want me to rewind it?" she asked, surprisingly managing to keep a straight face.
"Oh, I think I'll be alright."
She giggled quietly and snuggled closer. "Good. We can watch it again on Monday and I'll go for popcorn."
I smiled sarcastically. "So thoughtful."
Her body shook lightly as she laughed but she didn't make a sound.
The past few months had been the same, she'd come over and stayed until late or sleep over if Alison was cool with it, which she usually was since she trusted Tegan again. I was beyond ready for more than flirting and innocent hugs. I wanted to hold her and kiss her and throw her down on my bed and make sure she couldn't walk properly the next day. Since the camping trip we hadn't slept together again and the sexual tension was building. It'd been five long months.
She was getting better every time I saw her. Her smiles were bigger, brighter and made her eyes shine. I saw more and more of who she was every day and I loved that person, too.
Once the shit movie was over we went to bed. When she slept at mine she stayed in my room, dressed in my t-shirt and laid all over me, not that I minded in the slightest, in fact, I was ready to make it a rule. Flopping down on my bed, she pulled the cover over her, covering up her toned legs.
I flicked the light off and got in beside her.
"I can't wait to see your grandparents again tomorrow," she said.
Neither could I. It was different than taking your girlfriend home, I knew that, but I still really wanted her to meet everyone properly. Although I was shitting myself, my family knew how I felt about her and I just prayed they kept their mouths shut.
Tomorrow was my nan and grandad's anniversary and Mum insisted that I bring Tegan so everyone could see her future daughter-in-law. Her words, not mine. She better fucking not say them in front of Tegan either.
My nan was under strict instructions not to say or do anything embarrassing, not that me talking to her was going to make the slightest bit of a difference. Tomorrow could go two ways and I really hoped it was the way that ended up with Tegan being my mum's future daughter-in-law and not ending with her running for the hills.
I'd warned Nan not to say anything. We're staying overnight, with Alison's permission. The only rule she stated was that if Tegan had a drink it had to be in moderation. That was fine by me. Plus, without a no sex rule I was definitely trying my luck.
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Kai
I woke up to Tegan kissing my chest. Shit! She looked up and smirked. "Finally! I've been trying to wake you for ages. We have to go in half an hour so have a quick shower, the bacon sandwiches are almost ready."
She jumped off the bed and skipped out of the room. Fuck, she was perfect.
We pulled up at my nan's forty minutes later and I groaned as she came running out of the house. This was going to be painful. Nan wasn't exactly subtle.
"Kai, there's my little man," she gushed as she pulled me into a huge bear hug. Well, that was just great. I could hear Tegan laughing quietly behind us. "Tegan, we meet again. Come here and give me a hug."
Oh, kill me now.
Tegan had met them when we went camping but there was no time to get to know her, it was all about Isaac. This time could be about me and her, not that there was an official me and her. I was working on it.
Thankfully, Mum came out and pulled my nan inside. "Come on, little man," Tegan teased, walking inside ahead of me.
"Don't start, princess," I whispered in her ear, making her laugh.
Why couldn't I have a normal family?
We walked inside and Tegan slammed back into
my chest. I looked around to see what was wrong and Nan's dog, Milo, was sitting in front of us. He was a Great Dane and bloody massive but he was the softest dog in the world.
"Scared of the puppy?" I asked her. My turn to be smug.
"That is not a puppy!" She pushed back hard into my chest.
I laughed and moved in front of her. "Come on, Milo," I said, leading him into the kitchen. She didn't follow me, probably because she was scared of the dog. "Can you get Tegan, she's scared," I said to Mum as I made Milo sit on his bed in the kitchen until she got inside. Dramatic woman.
She walked in behind Mum and grabbed my arm, making sure I was between her and the dog. I wrapped my arm around her waist - she was single, I finally could. I re-introduced her to my grandad. My uncle, aunt and my cousin, Rylan, would be here soon. He was barely a teenager but had already turned into a horny sexpest.
Tegan listened politely as Grandad told a story about working in coalmines when he was in his twenties. I could recite those stories in my sleep. Nan batted his arm with a wooden spoon, trying to get him to continue helping make lunch and stop talking to Tegan and 'boring' her. She didn't look bored, she laughed and asked questions, which was absolutely the worst thing to do because it encouraged another story out of him.
After covering my granddad's first year on the mines the rest of the family arrived. Rylan's eyes immediately fell on Tegan, as I'd thought. He was a weedy little thing that had just starting exercising and thought he was a fucking body builder already.
"Well, hello," he said, brushing his boy band hair out of his face. "We've not met before, have we? I'd definitely remember you."
Tegan arched her eyebrow.
She pressed closer to me. I could handle Ry being around if she was going to get all feely. "This is Tegan. Princess, my cousin, Rylan."
"Hi," Tegan said, grinning in amusement as Ry kissed the back of her hand. I bit my tongue. Thank fuck I was more interested in getting high or wasted than being a teenage twat like him. "How old is he?" she asked once he left to get a drink.
"Thirteen, almost fourteen if it helps. I think he likes you."
"Lucky me," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "He's not my type at all, I don't do toy boys or underage."
"Yeah, I forgot you like older men."
She smiled shyly and then her eyes widened. "Kai, your Nan's downing cocktails!"