“Oh, hey, J.J.,” Jenny K. said. “I didn’t see you there.”
“I bet you ladies might enjoy the attentions of a younger man. Well, not you, Priya,” he said to Priya, who’d gotten engaged last year. “But these ladies, perhaps?” His voice was getting lower with every syllable, to the point where he now sounded like a baritone. Jenny K. just laughed, but I couldn’t help noticing that Jenny W. looked intrigued. “Anyone want a ride on the J train?”
“Okay, stop it,” I said, giving J.J. a shove, which he returned.
“Who needs a drink?” Priya asked, already taking a step toward the bar. I was about to ask for a Diet Coke when my phone buzzed in my pocket.
Siobhan
Hey! Two simultaneous situations going on.
Need to talk to you about tomorrow
And also
MY FUTURE ROOMMATE IS THE WORST CALL ME
I had just started to text her back as Danny came to join us, a drink in each hand.
“Hello,” Danny said, leaning over to kiss the bridesmaids’ cheeks. “I thought it suddenly seemed more exciting in here. How are the Jennys tonight?” He held one of the drinks out to me. “Here.”
“Is that my drink?” I asked. I locked my phone and dropped it in my bag. I’d text Siobhan later. I took a sip and smiled. I didn’t like real Cherry Coke, but whenever I was somewhere with an actual bartender, I ordered a Diet Coke with grenadine and extra maraschino cherries.
“Of course,” Danny said. “I know what you drink. I didn’t just get here.”
“Thank you.”
“Why didn’t you bring me anything to drink?” J.J. asked petulantly.
“So, Sheridan,” Jenny K. said, folding her arms, “I hear you sprung a surprise girlfriend on Linnie.”
“I thought I RSVP’d,” Danny said, giving her a bashful smile. “My memory’s going and I’m not even thirty.”
“So, where is she?” Jenny W. asked, looking around.
“She’s around somewhere,” Danny said, gesturing vaguely as he took a sip of his beer, not seeming all that bothered. “I’m sure she’s mingling. Has Mike arrived yet?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Not as far as I can see.” I had angled myself so that I had a clear view of the front door of the Inn, and I’d been keeping my eye on it—which meant I wasn’t paying attention when Jenny W. swiped my drink. “Hey!”
She took a sip of it, then made a face and handed it back to me. “Ugh, what is this?”
“Diet Coke with cherries,” I said, trying not to laugh at the look on her face. “Get your own drink if you don’t like it.”
“Oh, I intend to,” she promised just as Priya came back, holding a glass of champagne.
“So, I got pulled into a conversation with your uncle?” she said, sounding uneasy as she glanced toward the bar. “I think he was trying to get me to invest in some kind of pyramid scheme?”
“Our uncle?” I looked over at the bar to see Stu sitting on one of the stools, gesturing wide as Rodney’s sister slowly backed away from him. “What is Uncle Stu doing here?”
“Uncle Stu came?” J.J. asked, craning his neck to look. “Awesome.”
“Not awesome,” I said. “It’s just supposed to be the wedding party.” I pulled out my phone and texted Bill that we’d be one more at dinner, and he responded immediately with a smiley face and a thumbs-up.
“You know he can’t resist a free dinner,” Danny said, shaking his head.
“It looks like you could use a drink,” J.J. said to Jenny W. in what he probably thought was his suave voice.
She arched an eyebrow at him. “I can get my own drink, J.J.”
“Well, want to buy me one?” Jenny just laughed at that and headed over to the bar, Jenny K. and Priya joining her, and when they were out of earshot, J.J. turned to us. “Think I have a shot there?”
“No,” Danny and I said simultaneously, and he smiled at me. “You owe me a Coke.”
“I think I’ve got a shot,” J.J. insisted, smoothing down his hair and dodging out of the way of Danny, who tried to muss it up again.
“Hey, babe!” I looked up to see my brother waving to Brooke, who crossed over to us, a small, tight smile on her face. “There you are.”
“I’ve been looking for you.”
“I’ve been here,” Danny said, taking her hand and giving it a kiss. “Just hanging out—” Danny stopped talking abruptly, his eyes on the door, and I turned to see what he was looking at.
I pulled in a sharp breath and felt my hand tighten on my sweating glass. Mike was standing in the doorway in a suit and tie, but that wasn’t what I was staring at.
I was looking at Jesse Foster, who was standing next to him.
I swallowed hard, trying to keep my composure as I watched Mike make his way across the lobby, Jesse by his side. Jesse was wearing a dark-blue blazer and a collared shirt, slightly open at the throat. I’d seen him dressed up before—he and Mike had taken prom pictures with their dates at our house Mike’s senior year—but that had seemed like more of a costume, something rented for the night. Right now, Jesse looked so handsome it was like I couldn’t quite take it all in.
“Did you see that Uncle Stu is crashing our rehearsal dinner?” Linnie asked, rolling her eyes as she and Rodney came to join us. “What is everyone staring at?”
“Mike’s here,” J.J. said, nodding toward the door.
Linnie took a sip from her glass of wine and squinted across the room. “Wait, why is Jesse Foster here?”
“I didn’t know he was going to be here,” I said, too loudly and defensively. “Why would I have known that? It’s not like we talk or anything.”
“I wasn’t asking you,” Linnie said, looking a little taken aback.
“I’m just saying, this is news to me too. That’s all.” Everyone was now staring at me, and I took a quick sip of my drink, then coughed as I accidentally choked on it, causing J.J. to whack me hard on the back.
“Mike did RSVP for a plus-one,” Rodney pointed out as he took a sip of his drink. We were all just blatantly staring at them, standing across the room, not even pretending to be doing anything else. “Maybe . . .” He glanced at Linnie. “Are Mike and Jesse like together together?”
“Maybe Corrine ruined all women for him,” J.J. said. “It wouldn’t surprise me.”
“Mike’s gay?” Brooke asked, her brow furrowing. “Wait, who’s Corrine?”
“Jesse’s definitely straight,” I said, realizing a second later that I’d said this with a little too much authority. “I mean, probably. I don’t know. Maybe he’s not. Who can say? Sexuality is a, um, spectrum.” I took another sip of my drink, but when I looked up, I could see Linnie staring at me like she’d just noticed more than I wanted her to.
“Here it comes,” J.J. said, his voice low, and I saw what he was talking about. My parents were walking over to Mike and Jesse, my mother holding on tight to my father’s arm, both of them looking visibly nervous.
I didn’t know what I was expecting—raised voices, maybe, or Mike refusing to talk to my parents. But none of that happened. Mike shook my dad’s hand, leaned over and kissed my mother’s cheek, gave them both a smile, and then practically shoved Jesse at them as he turned and headed over toward us. It was the interaction my parents might have had with one of my second cousins—not their son who they hadn’t seen in a year and a half. It looked like my parents were making small talk with Jesse, but they kept glancing to where Mike had gone, like they were trying to figure out what had just happened.
“You guys are not subtle,” Mike said as he approached us, his hands in his pockets.
“Hey!” Linnie said, smiling wide at Mike and pulling him into a hug, Danny following suit. “You’re here! It’s so good to see you!”
“You too,” Mike said, smiling at Linnie. “Congratulations. You look beautiful.”
“Michael!” J.J. gave Mike a hug that picked him up off the ground. “What do you think?” he asked, looking at Dan
ny and Rodney, Mike still hovering a few inches off the ground. “Mike Drop?”
“No!” I said quickly. Mike Drops were something that J.J. and Danny had done a lot when Mike was in elementary school and they were much, much bigger than he was. It was true to its name—Danny would pick up Mike, yell “Mike Drop!” and toss him in the air and J.J. would dash in and catch him just before he hit the floor. All of which had worked out great when Mike was six. But as they’d all gotten older, J.J. sometimes forgot to catch him, and they had a way of getting people injured, sometimes all three of them in the same Mike Drop.
“Good to see you,” Rodney said, giving him a hug after J.J. finally set him back down. “We’re both so happy you’re here.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it,” Mike said to Rodney. I was on the verge of saying something snarky about how he’d somehow been able to miss Christmas and Thanksgiving, but held it back. “Charlie,” Mike said to me.
I nodded. “Hey.”
“Hi, everyone.” I jumped and turned around—Jesse Foster was standing right behind me, leaning slightly over my shoulder. He touched the small of my back, so quickly it was over before I could register it, as he walked over to stand next to Mike.
“Hey, Jesse,” Linnie said, giving him a quick hug as he shook hands with all my brothers and Rodney. “It’s been a while.”
“I know,” he said, giving her a polite smile. Then he looked at me, gave me a smile, and mouthed Hey.
Hi, I mouthed back. My pulse was hammering, and I couldn’t stop staring at Jesse, at his hair, which was combed back, at the tiny pocket square folded into his blazer pocket, at his hands. . . .
“And this is Brooke Abernathy,” Danny said, and I snapped back to reality to see Danny making introductions. “My girlfriend.”
“Oh,” Mike said, looking from Brooke to Danny, surprise clearly written on his face. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too,” Brooke said, with another tight smile.
“And this is my friend Jesse Foster,” Mike said, gesturing to Jesse, who gave Brooke a smile and shook her hand.
“So Jesse is your plus-one?” Rodney asked, looking from Mike to Jesse. “Not that you’re not welcome, of course . . .”
“I thought I could use some moral support this weekend,” Mike said, glancing back to the side of the room where my parents were standing, now with the Danielses.
“Plus, I always like seeing the Grants,” Jesse said. His tone was easy and light, but his eyes kept finding mine, and I found myself unable to look away. Now that he was here, it was of course making sense why he’d said he’d see me soon—he must have assumed Mike told me basic facts about his life. “It’s been too long.”
“Definitely too long,” I said, giving him what I hoped was just a normal welcoming smile. I noticed Linnie, though, glancing between me and Jesse.
“What do you think?” Danny asked, slinging an arm around Mike’s neck and another around Jesse’s. “Quick stop at the bar?”
“Coming with you,” J.J. said, following them across the room.
“Lin?” Rodney asked.
“I’m good,” Linnie said. “I just need to talk to my sister a second.”
“What—” I started, but Linnie was already grabbing me by the hand and pulling me across the lobby. I looked back to see that Brooke was now standing alone, where, a moment before, she’d been part of our group. I felt a flash of sympathy for her, but a moment later this turned into annoyance. Why was she standing by herself? Surely she could join Danny and everyone at the bar—it’s not like she needed an invitation or anything.
Linnie pulled me across the lobby and then down the hallway. I could still see the rest of the room—Danny was at the bar, taking two drinks from the bartender, then walking a few steps away and handing one of the glasses to Mike, who immediately took a long sip.
“So.” Linnie looked at me expectantly.
“What?”
She shot me a look. “Jesse. What’s going on with you two?”
I thought about pretending I didn’t know what she meant, but I was pretty sure that would raise her suspicions even more. “Nothing’s going on,” I said, shaking my head. “I mean, right this minute. We . . . um . . . hooked up over Christmas break.” Linnie’s jaw dropped open and I hastened to add, “We didn’t sleep together.” I figured that right this instant, Linnie didn’t need to know just how close we’d come to it.
“So, was this a drunken hookup? Like a one-time thing?”
“Not for me.” I took a breath, suddenly wishing I’d told Linnie all this years ago—that I’d talked to her the very first moment I’d looked at Jesse and felt my face get hot, suddenly not sure how to work my hands and feet when I was around him. She should have known about this from the beginning. “I don’t know,” I said, not sure how to explain it. It seemed like the second you tried to tell someone why you loved someone else, it took the luster off it, like pinning a butterfly down in a case—it never quite captured it. But it also occurred to me that this would not be a helpful metaphor for someone who would be speaking vows about why she loved someone in front of a hundred-person crowd tomorrow. “He’s Jesse.”
“I know he’s Jesse,” she said. “I just want to know when he became Jesse.”
I shrugged with one shoulder, looking at the wallpaper, dotted with black-and-white pictures from when the Inn wasn’t an inn at all, when it was just a family home, people who lived in these rooms and called them their own. “It started as a crush,” I said, my voice hesitant as I tried to find the right words, realizing that I’d never had to explain this before. “Like, just the kind of crush you have when you’re a kid. Nothing’s ever going to happen. But then . . .” I flashed back to the night of his party, how dreamlike and fated it had all seemed, like a line of dominoes being nudged just the right amount, then falling perfectly. “At Christmas, it was like he saw me for the first time.”
“Uh-huh.” I could practically feel all that my sister wanted to say but was holding back, like air pressure outside a car window.
“He’s just . . . ,” I started, then let out a breath as I realized that even if I could articulate this, Linnie wouldn’t understand what I meant, not really. She’d almost always had a boyfriend in high school, and she’d found her soul mate three months after graduating. She didn’t know what it was like to look and wish and want, always two steps behind the person, always on the edges of their life. What it was like to stand next to someone and know you weren’t registering with them, not in any meaningful way. That you thought about someone a thousand times more than they’d ever thought about you. To know that you were just a face in the crowd scenes while they were center stage. And then, all at once, to have the spotlight finally swing over to you. To suddenly be visible, to be seen, no longer one of the people in the background who never get any lines. To suddenly be in the midst of something you’d only ever looked at from the sidelines. What that felt like when it finally happened, dropped in your lap when you were least expecting it, like a gift you were half-afraid to open.
I looked up to see Linnie still looking at me, patient, and I knew she’d wait until I found the words. “It was like my best dream coming true,” I finally said. “I just wanted to be able to travel back in time and tell my twelve-year-old self that this was actually happening. That there was a world in which it could happen.”
“So, kissing Jesse. How was it?” The second after she’d asked this, she shuddered. “First of all, ew. I can’t believe I’m even talking to you about this. Jesse is like two.”
“He’s older than me,” I pointed out.
“You’re like two.”
“Thanks, Lin.”
“But,” she said, looking steadily at me. “How was it?”
I had a flashback to the night, to the heart-pounding sensation of it, the knee-weakening kisses I couldn’t even remember without getting flushed and losing my train of thought entirely. “Amazing.”
“And now?”
&nbs
p; I glanced back at the lobby and saw Jesse standing next to Mike by the bar, laughing at something J.J. was saying. “I don’t know,” I said, even though I did know, a little, as I thought about the way he’d looked at me when I’d dropped Mike off, the way that he’d slipped his hands under my shirt to touch my bare skin, the way he’d just touched the small of my back. “He texted me that he would see me soon, but that was before I knew he would . . . you know, be here.”
“But what do you want to happen?”
I just stared at her for a moment—the answer to that question was so obvious. I thought of Jesse, that night up in his guesthouse. And I thought of the years before that, of all the years that he’d been Jesse Foster, always just out of reach.
Linnie must have been able to read what I was thinking, because she nodded. “Well, it’s too bad. I think Bill likes you.”
“Bill?” I blinked at her, then shook my head. “No.”
“You don’t think he’s cute?”
“Sure he’s cute,” I said, since he was. “But he’s not Jesse.”
Linnie looked at me for a long moment, then gave me a smile. “Go have your fun. Be safe,” she added sternly, as I made a face.
“Linnie, ew.”
“Did you shave your legs?”
“Lin.”
“Is that a no?”
“That’s a ‘it’s none of your business.’ ”
“Listen, I’m the one who taught you how, so show some respect.”
She started to head back across the lobby, and I grabbed her arm before she could go too far out of reach and get swept up by wedding well-wishers. “Don’t tell Mike.”
“Of course I’m not going to tell him. But do you think you should?”
“Me?”
“If this is going to be something real,” she said, raising an eyebrow at me.
I took a breath to answer her just as Will came out of the restaurant and stood in the doorway.
“If I could have your attention,” he said, in a loud voice. “If you wouldn’t mind following me, the rehearsal dinner is about to begin.”
CHAPTER 14
Or, To the Happy Couple Or, What’s in a Name?