Ethan's eyes widened when he saw the scars on my wrists and the tattoos that covered them. He raised his eyes to mine. We sat there staring at each other. Picking up another shot, he drank it back and cleared his throat, "I was in love only once in my life. She got pregnant, but when she was only five months along, she went into labor, and my daughter was stillborn. I visit her grave every weekend and lay down a single white rose on her headstone. The girl left me right after."
I entwined his fingers into mine. "Ethan, I'm so sorry."
He shook his head and stopped me from saying anything else. "Just don't say anything. Only Shane knows."
"Same here. Only Shane and Lea know," I whispered back.
He studied my face. A ton of emotions appeared across his features. "How close did you and Shane get? I know it's none of my busines s, but Grace, I gotta know."
I tilted my head closer to him. "Why?"
His eyes drifted to our hands. " Becaus e, Grace, I don't want to do anything else that will ever hurt Shane."
I shook my head and pulled my hands away from his, shrugging my shoulders. "You're going to have to ask him tha t, Ethan. The last time I saw him he said some pretty amazing stuff to me, but I don't think he still feels that way now."
"How do you feel about him now?"
If there ever was a time when my old friend Jack Daniels shuts off my brain to mouth filter, this was it. "Don't call me one of his stupid girls. I never slept with him, but Ethan, I could lick that boy from head to toe like a big old lollipop. He was the only one who ever made me forget who I was trying to hold on to."
"Hey," Lea cut in. "What the eff are you to alcoholics talking about? You're all hovering over each other like you're plotting to take over the world." She put her arms around both of us, "You know you can't do any of that fun stuff without me."
"Psf. I'm not an alcoholic. An alcoholic needs a drink. Look here," I explained raising my next shot to her. "I already have one. So therefore, I do not need one. Which makes me not an alcoholic."
"Yeah, okay. Whatever you say. Listen, Ethan can you make sure she gets home okay; we have to get out of here. I have work tomorrow. Oh, and don't let her go anywhere near any ice cream."
Ethan nodded to her and we all said our goodbyes. I wasn't going anywhere because I could still feel the heartbreak, and the bottle of Jack was still not empty.
"Hey, Grac e, l et's go back to my place and drink the rest of this."
I smirked at him.
He put his hands up in the air. "I promise I won't lay a finger on you."
I don't even remember how we got there, all I remember is thinking maybe I could lay down just for a minute in Shane's room, just to remember how nice it was to sleep in his bed.
I never made it to Shane's room.
Chapter 9
It was four o'clock in the morning when I woke up on the floor in Ethan's room with a pillow under my head and an itchy blue blanket over me. Ethan was asleep on his bed, his breath even and slow. A faint stream of light spread across his body, lit by his bedside table lamp.
O h, God, please no. Please, please, no. No, no, no. My heart pounded hard against my rib cage when I tried to remember what happened to make me end up in Ethan's bedroom. We just talked. The intense rhythm of my heart slowed down gradually when I remembered the last of the conversation we had and what a complete gentlemen he was. Even though nothing happened between us, it didn't stop the tears from coming when I thought about how out of control I'd become. Thank God, I was with Ethan. Imagine if I had drunk with Tucker. He would have slept with me, married me and forced me to eat sushi all in one night without me even knowing it.
Although the situation was completely innocent, I felt a sudden pang of panic to get out of the room. I overstayed my welcome. I came here under the guise of hoping to see Shane again. Even though I was angry and hurt about the whole situation, I wasn't going to lie to myself anymore. I couldn't get him out of my head. The last time we were together we almost, and I almost...My God, he was the only person I had met in the last two thousand years that could make me forget about my angel.
Without making a sound, I folded up the blanket and placed it with the pillow at the end of Ethan's bed. The gentle giant did not stir.
With my shoes in my hand, I quietly pushed the door open and idiotically stumbled into the hallway, falling over my own feet. My stilettos went flying and I slapped my hands over my mouth to stifle my giggles. Damn, I was still drunk.
The air in the hallway felt different; heavier; thicker, damp. A sweet, minty, smell drifted through it making my thoughts turn to Shane again and remembering how it felt to wake up wrapped in sheets with him. My inner thoughts were like a category 5 hurricane; blasting through my brain at two hundred miles per hour. I had no clue what thoughts to hold on to now that I had no angel to vow my love to. I was lost in a violent storm, drowning in the harsh currents of despair. I heard a small whimper escape through my lips and realized I was crying. Yet again.
"What the hell?" The low raspy voice slid right through me, rocking me back on the already unsteady heels of my feet. I had to sink my teeth into my bottom lip to gather the nerve to look at man that the voice belonged to.
Oh my God.
Perfection. He was utterly the most breathtaking, painfully beautiful man I had ever laid my eyes on. A stampede of frantic butterflies tore through my insides and I gulped down a deep breath of air, because I had somehow stopped breathing.
His dark hair was longer than I remembered and lay wet and disheveled across his forehead. Drops of water glistened on his shoulders, his face, and his bare chest. Bare chest! They shimmered along the dark contours of his tattoos making the story of our forbidden love dance with reflections of light. A soft white towel that hung low on his hips was a stark contrast to the hard toned muscles that tensed under the beautiful sun-kissed skin of his stomach and chest.
Hard, steely, gunmetal blue eyes coldly stared down at me. Through me. They shined dangerously against the soft light that spilled itself across the hallway from the bathroom.
So fiercely breathtaking, with the swirl of the mist from the shower and his beauty, I would have said he looked like an angel. But I knew better.
"What. The. Hell?" The heat of his voice took my whirling thoughts to places that they had no right to go, but damn did I want to. Scrumdillifuckingemious. I just wanted to wrap my legs around his face. "Did you just come out of Ethan's fucking bedroom?" His voice was thick with venom and the air in the hallway became so much denser I struggled to catch my breath.
Oh crap.
Sickening warmth spread across my cheeks and bolted down my spine. "Yeah, but nothing..."
"Save it. It doesn't matter." Cold. Callus. Completely indifferent, he walked past me. "Don't worry about locking the door behind you, we have easy ass like you coming in and out of here all the time."
Oh crap. My world shifted off its axis and spun out of control, it left me leaning up against the wall fighting against gravity. I was still too drunk to talk straight. "We were talking..."
A deep laughter rumbled in his chest, "Right, was that before or after you fucked him? Save it, why the hell would I care? I don't want to listen to the blow by blow of your night."
I tried to take a steady breath, but the rage boiled in my chest spiraling up my throat and my fists clenched against the hardness of the wall that helped to support me. "Fuck you, Shane!"
Before I could take my next breath, Shane's body slammed painfully into mine. He leveled his right shoulder into my stomach hard, swung me up in his arms and over his shoulder. He grabbed the back of my thighs and carried me through the hallway toward the Bone Room. I didn't have enough air in my lungs to scream.
He opened the door to their communal poke-a-skank room and dropped me right in front of it. I dropped straight to the floor. "Fuck me? Fuck me? You want to go in the Bone Room with me?" He stood over me screaming with those intense ruthless eyes. He crouched down to my level and slammed bo
th his palms against the wall on either side of my face. "Because I could really get off on some head right now, since I've been in fucking jail for over a month." He slid his hands down the wall slowly, never breaking his icy stare. "I usually don't like my girls still wet from Ethan, but hey, if you're game...but if not, get the fuck out of my hallway."
I was too stunned to speak. So I slapped him. Hard enough to turn his whole face away from me, I slapped him. "Don't you ever lay your hands on me again Shane." I slid myself up along the wall never leaving his steely gaze. "Get the hell out of my way," I whispered.
He stood up slowly, eyes still locked on mine.
Slamming my shoulder against his, I walked past him and down the hallway. I picked up my shoes and headed for the front door to his apartment without looking back. "Sweet fucking pants, I bet Ethan really enjoyed that hot little ass of yours. Sure you don't want to change your mind about the Bone Room?" I flipped him the bird without turning my head.
I heard his door slam as I quietly opened the front door and let myself out.
I walked into the front lobby on trembling legs. I opened the lobby doors to the icy cold March winds and the sounds of an early New York City. I stood in front of his building looking at the street that lay before me. My breath faltered and came out shallow and uneven.
Barefoot, I walked down the street toward my apartment. I eyed my Jeep parked on the corner of my block and walked towards it, the filthy concrete of the streets scraping against the tender soles of my bare feet.
I searched through my jacket, found my car keys and beeped the unlock button. Yanking the door open, I climbed in. I should leave. Leave and start over. Lea would need to understand. I jammed the key into the ignition and turned on the engine. The heater blasted on and my audio system erupted into Exit Wounds by The Script. I could picture the angels laughing down at me all dressed in their Sunday best.
Assholes. Motherangelfucking assholes. Pieces of Higher than Thou good for nothing, life sucking, seven deadly sinning shit stains! I gripped my steering wheel so tight my fingers ached and was disgusted with myself when the tears pooled in my eyes. I pressed the heels of my trembling hands to my eyes to stop the tears from falling. I was not going to allow myself any more grief. I had lost myself somewhere along the way and then I lost my way. I waited forever to find my heart and start my life. Forever is over. I'm not spending one more minute on it.
When the song ended, I turned off my ignition and yanked out my keys. On the passenger seat next to me was my cell phone with the drained battery that had been left in my Jeep since who knows when. I grabbed it, jumped out of my truck, and found my way home. It wasn't in my nature to drive this drunk anyway.
The apartment was silent when I walked through to my bedroom. I locked my door behind me when I got inside, plugged my phone in and fell asleep somewhere between the phone charger and the bed.
Chapter 10
Something was buzzing and it wouldn't stop. I begged it too, in my head at least I did. I didn't want to open my eyes and find out what it was. But, it wouldn't stop taunting me.
It took me at least twenty minutes to pull myself up and fully open my eyes. The sun blasted through my window, assaulting me with all its head splitting brightness. I looked around my room to find the source of the ear bleeding noise. Ugh. My cell phone. Shitfuckphone.
I crawled across the mattress, and across the floor, because I could barely stand to move. I grabbed the phone and crawled back to my pathetic excuse for a bed. I poked the phone repeatedly until it stopped its screeching and promptly feel back asleep.
The next time my eyes opened, night had settled outside my window. I vaguely wondered if it was the same day, at least my headache was gone. And I kind of felt better.
Still in my hand, sat my cell phone and I poked the side button to turn on its screen. I slid the lock off to see three voice messages. Hmm. I pressed the icon and cradled the phone to my ear.
"Monday, February 13th. First new message," the recording announced. Two days after the angel pretending to be Blake attacked me.
"Grace, it's me, Shane. You've just got out of surgery," his voice was shaking. "It's been eighteen hours and we don't know if you're going to make it. I just, I um, just, damn it. Grace, if you get to hear this, fuck I hope you do, I'm going to do everything I can to save you. Lea told me everything; I can't believe you've been here the whole time. I never knew. I'll find Gabriel, or Michael, or any of them. I'm going to do anything to help you. I love you Grace."
"Monday, February 13th. Second new message," the recording announced again.
"I can't leave your room. Nobody is coming, Gabriel, Michael, Samuel, none of them. I promise you, I swear. I swear Grace, I will do anything to end your punishment. God, bab y, I never knew. I never imagined I would ever see you again," his breath faltered and a small moan escaped through the speaker. He sputtered and disconnected. He sounded broken.
"Monday, February 13th. Third new message," the recording announced.
"Grace. Whatever happens, remember I love you. I will always love you. I think I have a plan. I'm going to try my best to get you to live the rest of your life as Grace. No matter what I have to do. Just...just, if I can do it, just go on and live your life."
I stood up and threw my phone against the wall, it bounced to the floor and the battery flew back at me. "WHAT THE HELL! What the hell else are you going to crap on me with? ENOUGH ALREADY!"
Flinging my door open, I stomped through the hallway and into the bathroom. I ran the water in the shower on the hottest setting and jumped in the scalding water. I scrubbed myself almost raw. Go on and live my life? What the hell does that mean? Haven't I been stuck doing that crap for two freaking thousand years? Fine! My life! My rules! Last life! Make it count.
Wrapped in only a towel, I closed myself in my bedroom when I heard loud voices coming in through the front door. Lea was screaming at someone. Crap, I hope her and Conner aren't fighting.
I rummaged through my drawers for clean clothes until I heard something slam loudly against my door. I froze. Another something smashed at my door. I watched it vibrate under the pressure.
"Open the doo r, Grace!" Shane's voice slid through my veins like acid. He pounded on it again.
Oh really? Really? My rules. My life. Last one. I'm going to make every moment count. I flung my towel on the floor and slid up a pair of black lacy G-string panties. I tugged on the matching bra, because yes I do have matching sets (Lea is my best friend). I shook my head, making my hair fly all over and yanked open the door. Holy Dripping Wet Panties! That man should come with a warning label.
All my time on this hell on earth was worth the look on that boy's face when he saw me. "Ah," was all that came out of that perfect set of lips of his.
I placed my hands on my hips. "So, you're banging and kicking at my door so you can just tell me...ah?"
Dressed in a delicious pair of old faded jeans, scruffed up motorcycle boots and a tight white tee-shirt that showed the shadows and curves of every single one of his muscles, his arms stretched out, leaning against both sides of my door frame. One hand let go of the door and ran itself through his hair, in that sexy way only Shane could.
I watched those blue eyes travel slowly over my legs, sending tingly goose bumps all along my skin. His gaze moved along the length of my inner thighs and gradually rose, then lingered on the tiny V-shaped black lace of my panties. And when they did, I moved my hips slightly and his eyes moved with them. His gaze continued sweeping across my bare stomach and I watched his body stiffen and his knuckles turn white when they followed along the curves of my breasts. When his eyes finally found mine, his breath was heavy and his eyes wide. I could have had an orgasm from the mind fuck he was giving me right there.
I could see a thousand thoughts cross his mind. He leaned in slightly and then stopped himself. "Band meeting tomorrow...at eleven...at the studio," he whispered hoarsely. He said no more words; he just stared into my eyes. He slid his ha
nd through his hair again and held it there. His jaw tensed.
Lea appeared in the hallway shaking Shane from whatever his thoughts were. A sad expression shadowed his face and he turned away, growling, and stormed down the hallway towards the front door.
Lea giggled. "Well, it's nice to have my best friend back, where the hell has she been?" she asked smacking me on my bottom. "I told you, matching sets are weapons of mass destruction. I have never seen Shane speechless like that before." She folded her arms and tilted her head at me. "You okay? Can you move, Grace?"
"Ummhmmm. That man just melted the panties right off me with his eyes."
Chapter 11
The dark bitter smell of coffee woke me from another dream of Shane. My body was twisted tightly around my sheets and I could honestly still feel his warm tongue on my inner thigh. That man was going to make me self cum-bust right in front of him one day.
I dragged an old button up lumberjack shirt over my shoulders and snuggled into its warmth. Slipping my cold toes in my slippers, I made my way into the kitchen in search of some of that caffeinated mud Lea makes each morning.
I felt his eyes on me before I saw him standing there. Damn, I didn't think he'd be there. I would have worn next to nothing. He and Conner were still sweaty and panting from a morning run. His shirt was off and he leaned his body up against the counter and stretched when I walked in. Ignoring him, okay trying to ignore him, I reached up for a mug from the cabinets. I felt the material of my shirt ride up to just over my bottom and I heard his low throaty growl when it did. I watched him tear his eyes off my bottom and storm out of the kitchen.
"Catch you later, Conner," he called out when he got to the front door.
I glanced at Conner. "Everything okay?" I asked.
Conner was sitting down at the table with his coffee steaming in front of him. His eyes were glued to my face, serious as all hell. "You slept with Ethan." It wasn't a question. It was a statement.