Chapter 14
I stayed at the studio for three hours running through all the Mad World songs with the guys, trying desperately to ignore all the sideways glances Shane was giving me and all the flat out requests from Alex to let him "go where no penis has gone before." I left immediately after Alex, who dubbed himself the Orifice Bandit, started discussing in detail about blogging the whole experience. Gah!
Needing to get coffee drunk, I headed to the nearest Starbucks for some sort of whipped cream infested caffeine. I was in dire need of scoring a sugar rush if I didn't want to go home to bed and crash until tomorrow. And Lea was already complaining that I've been spending too much time trying to crawl back into a coma. I ordered some caramel specialty drink and a scone that looked like it could pack ten pounds onto my bottom just by looking at it. I curled up on one of their ginormous purple couches and devoured it all. Then, and don't judge me, I ordered another coffee, this time chocolate flavored, and um...another giant scone. Hey, everybody deals with their demons their own way, I seem to eat and drink mine.
"Grace?"
Damn, just as I was about to slip into a food coma. I looked up to see Ryan's smiling face. He stood leaning his knee against the arm of the couch holding a coffee, dressed in a pair of black cargo pants and an ancient looking bomber jacket. A faded black baseball cap sat backwards on his head restraining the chunky layers of his blond hair.
"Hey, you doing okay?" He nodded to the empty spot on the couch next to me and asked, "Need some company?"
I gave the couch cushion a little pat, "Sure, Ryan, I'd love some." I gave him a smile when he sat down.
"So, how you been holding up?" he asked fixing a steady gaze me. "You must have had one hell of a hangover this morning, huh?"
I felt my cheeks burn. "Yeah, no use denying it, huh? I spent the night hugging the toilet while Lea held my hair back," I laughed.
"Doesn't sound like fun. It got even crazier after you left. I can't see any of those boys getting out of bed this morning," he chuckled. I was afraid to ask.
"Ah, they're fine. I just came from practicing with them."
He nodded his head and looked thoughtful for a minute. I studied his mouth as he smiled at me; he had a bottom lip piercing that every now and then he touched with his tongue. It was insanely sexy. "Yeah, I heard you guys are going to play a gig next Saturday, and Friday night we have the notorious Vixen4 playing." He crossed his arms, his dark eyes twinkling. "I can't wait to see you up on stage again. I absolutely love watching you. You're one heck of a musician."
"Thank you," I said. At that moment, my brain chose to remember I told him his lips were kissable the night before and I knew my cheeks had to have turned five shades of red.
Smiling shyly, he pulled himself off the couch, "So, um...I guess I'll see you around."
I tilted my head and nodded, smiling. "Yeah, probably."
"Will you be at the bar tonight?" he asked walking backwards towards the door.
"No. You working tonight?"
"Nope." He lingered by the exit doors and seemed to be deciding something. "Hey, Grace?" He walked back over to the couch and kneeled in front of me. "I don't know if you got anything going on with Shane, I'm doubting it because, well everybody knows how Shane is with girls, I mean look at the stuff he pulled with Marie last night, but wel l, I was kind of hoping that maybe I could take you out for dinner?"
Everybody knows how Shane is with girls. Oh, that burned; but it was the truth. And, seriously what the hell did he do with Marie last night? "Wow. Ryan. Sure, I'd love to go to dinner with you." Take tha t, Shane!
He smiled so wide two adorable dimples popped out on his cheeks, "Are you free tonight?"
"Yeah, I am."
"How about I pick you up around five. What kind of food do you like?"
"Anything but sushi."
****
Lea was sitting by herself in the kitchen with her feet up on the table listening to the small CD player we kept in the kitchen. The newest song from Pink filled the room and for some reason she was baking chocolate chip cookies.
I pulled my coat off and threw it over one of the kitchen chairs. "What in the world are you doing? God, it smells like heaven in here." I took a long deep breath and sniffed.
Yanking her feet off the table and dropping them onto the floor, she started jumping up and down. " O h, my God! Really? Heaven effing smells like my chocolate chip cookies?" she squealed.
"Uh...no. Not really you freak," I laughed. "Why are you baking cookies?" I sat down on one of the chairs and pulled my knees up resting my chin on them.
Lea slumped back onto her chair. "Conner said that I wasn't domesticated. So I'm baking cookies." She shook her head slowly.
A crap load of giggles burst from my mouth. "Lea, it's not like you're not housebroken."
"Grace, he was serious. What am I supposed to do? He is THE ONE!" She plopped her face in her hands and looked up at me with those big brown eyes.
Like I should be giving advice here. "If he is The One, then he wasn't complaining about it. Conner is crazy about you for everything you are and everything you aren't."
"You sound like my mother. By the way, I'm visiting them tomorrow and you should come, they haven't seen you since you were in a coma. I have off Monday so I'm staying the night, you don't have to if you don't want to, but it'll be more fun if you stay." She batted her eyes at me.
"Sure," I laughed. "I'll go and even stay the night. I'll pick up my bike. I was just thinking the weather is getting nicer to go riding."
Her eyebrows arched together and she folded her arms across her chest leaning forward. "Hold on a second. Are you drunk again?"
"Um...no why?"
"Because you're smiling." Her eyes widened and she bounced in her seat, "Ohhh...how was band practice. Did you talk to Shane?"
"Practice was great. Shane didn't say anything more than he was sorry and Alex wants to start a blog about me giving my virginity to him. And I have a date tonight."
" O h, God, which one is it Shane or Alex? Please tell me you are going to pick Shane."
"Nope. Ryan."
"What? Ryan, bartender Ryan? Why can't you go out with Shane?"
" Becaus e, Lea, Shane didn't ask and Ryan did. Shane is too busy with Marie and every other girl who thinks he's a rock star."
"Yeah, but it's Shane..."
"Please don't make it hurt more than it already does. Just help me forget him."
"Yeah, but...what about Shane?"
"I'm immune."
"No, you are not. I'm upset by this new information."
"Well, now. It really blows that I can disappoint you to such a high degree when it comes to the man-whore. Whom, by the way, if you remember correctly tried desperately to humiliate me last night and practically sexed up that Marie girl right on the table in front of me. Why would I want to chase after that?"
"You have seen him with his shirt off, right?" she asked cocking her head and lifting a single eyebrow at me.
I rolled my eyes at her so dramatically I thought I might have pulled a muscle. Thinking of Shane was giving me a headache. I threw my hands up into the air in surrender, "Lea. I want to lick him up like a freaking cherry ice pop, let him melt in my mouth, get all sticky and lick my fingers clean. But so does every other girl he meets. And I'm like the last girl in line, a line that freaking wraps around the corner."
Lea winced and grabbed one of my hands. "Gray, I think you're special to him. Look at how he reacted when he thought you slept with Ethan. The way you guys stare at each other, it's just plain pornographic."
I stood up and stretched, wanting desperately to end the conversation. "Look, I'm not going to stand here and lie. You know I want to be with him and maybe I will be. But I made a vow to myself to never be fooled again by a man or a halo wearing asshole with wings. Shane is Shane, he's not going to change for me and I don't know if I'd want him too. If something happens between us, it'll happen. But in the meantime, I thought
you'd be happy that I was actually going to go on a regular date, and you didn't have to force me this time. Besides, Ryan is really good looking."
Lea sighed, "Yeah, but he's just not Shane."
"Who's not me?" a low raspy voiced interrupted. His stupid voice made my skin tingle. Lea and I both jumped at the sound of it. Lea's hands flew to her chest and she yelped loudly. "You just scared the crap out of me!"
Conner and Shane stood in the doorway of the kitchen, arms crossed over their chests both donning wrinkled brows. OhmyGod, did he look good. They'd went running, because he stood shirtless with a gleam of sweat that covered his skin. My eyes roamed the contours of the muscles of his chest and the way his tight skin slid down in that hard V-shape that disappeared under the covering of his running pants. That's just ridiculous, nobody should look that good.
"Uh," was all I could come up with.
Shane unfolded his arms and walked into the kitchen, tossing his cell phone on the table. He grabbed a water bottle from the refrigerator and leaned his body against the counter. His muscles flexed and stretched as he moved; it made my mouth fill up with way too much saliva. Twisting the cap off, he held the bottle to his lips and gulped the water down. A stream of it dropped down his chin and onto his chest. It was like watching a man's Axe cologne commercial. Pinpricks of heat spread across my chest, and I was struggling for air. Dear God, there is just something about this man that makes you want to stick your panties in his pockets and tell him you're half way there...
"Grace has a date tonight," Lea blurted out.
Shane's face twisted in anger and he crunched his empty water bottle with one little clench of his hand. "Letting Alex start his blog?" he asked through clenched teeth.
When I finally found my voice, which seemed to be stuck up my own ass, I wanted to toss myself off a building. "Ah, that would be a no. But, thanks for making me feel like one of your easy skanks. Again."
Lea craned her neck in front of my face. "Do you effing see that chest?"
"Shut up," I whispered.
Lea scrambled Conner out of the kitchen, shoving him into the hallway.
Shane lifted his arm and rubbed the back of his neck. The freaking muscles twisting under his skin was absolutely ridiculous. He moved toward me, muscles jumping. Holy crap, I wasn't about to back down from him. I jumped up and met him in the middle. I raised my chin to him and jabbed my hands onto my hips. "Think carefully about what you're about to say to me Shane."
One side of his stupid lips curled up and he took another step forward. I felt the edge of the kitchen table as I backed my ass into it. Damn, I thought I was moving forward not backing away from him.
"Don't let him touch you," he whispered as he leaned down and pushed the palms of his hands on the table on either side of me, trapping me between his arms. I stopped breathing.
"Give me a good reason not to," I said.
One hand slid to my waist and moved under my shirt, skimming his fingertips over my skin. He leaned down close, breathing me in. Those damn butterflies flew straight to my groin.
His cell phone rang on the table next to us. A picture of a topless Marie, in the bathroom of Boozer's came to life on the screen. We both stared at the phone for a minute before he pressed ignore and stepped back raking one hand through his hair.
"Wow, Shane. Just wow. How has your dick not have shriveled up and fallen off by now?"
"I didn't sleep with her."
"Ha. Every damn time your lips move, out pops a lie. The problem i s, Shane, I don't care if you did. Get out of my way, I have to get ready."
"Don't let him put his hands on you, Grace. Just. Don't."
"Oh sure, good idea, no hands. Yeah, I like the thought of his tongue on me much better." I watched his fists clench and knuckles turn white as I left the room. I slammed the door to the bathroom and ran the water ice cold, ripped off my clothes and stepped in. I loathed that he had that picture of her on the phone, but I loved the fact that he didn't want anyone else to touch me. Oh, and the fact that I had much bigger boobs than her. And I know I'm completely acting like I'm thirteen years old, but I've never ever had these feelings before, and well, that fact made it feel a lot better.
Chapter 15
I was blow-drying my hair when Lea slipped into my bedroom. She plopped herself in front of my drawers and opened each one searching for something. I clicked the hair dryer off and opened my closet door.
"Shane's going insane inside," she said looking at me smiling. She pursed her lips and turned her attention to my underwear drawer, "Why can I never find any matching sets?"
"Why?"
"Because when I have my undies and bra match I really feel like I have my crap together and I can do anybody, I mean anything," she giggled and winked. She smiled and did a little cheer when she found a red matching set.
"Focus, Lea. Why is Shane going insane?"
"Maybe because the girl that he's in love with is going on a date with someone else?" She threw the bra and panties at me and I put them on. "Hey, let's have some fun. I double dare you to walk out there like that," she pointed to me, "And let's see if Shane doesn't profess his undying love for you."
"Shut up," I laughed slipping a simple black dress over my head. "Shane Maxton is not in love with me."
Lea walked over to where I stood looking at myself in the mirror and pulled my chin so I could look in her eyes. "Yeah, Grace. I kind of think he is. So just face it, you just caught yourself a Bad Ass, what are you going to do about it?"
"Lea. I'm going out to dinner with Ryan. I'm thinking maybe Shane should shower that skank off from last night before I decide to do anything with him!"
I stormed out of my room and made my way into the living room to grab my coat. Shane was pacing back and forth in front of the couch and Conner was sitting on one of the chairs. Whatever their conversation was, it stilled as soon as I walked in.
Shane's eyes raked over my legs, my hips, my arms, dragging them slowly over the rest of my body. "Oh God," he whispered as his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides and all I wanted to do was run to him. Those icy cold blue eyes had me paralyzed and I swore I felt my panties melting down my legs. God, what that man can do to my insides with one of his looks.
The sound of the doorbell made my mouth dry and I ran to open it so I wouldn't hear it again. Ryan leaned against the doorjamb with a wide smile.
"Man, you look beautiful, Grace," he said pushing off of the door.
A sharp pounding headache burst from behind my eyes and I clamped my teeth down from the pain. Behind me, I could hear Conner and Shane yelling. The words were all jumbled together like they were stumbling drunkenly to my ears. All I heard was the anguish tone of them. Then Shane pushed through the front door, I leaned back to let him through. As he stepped by, he reached his arm past my waist and thrust a wrapped condom into one of my closed fists. He brushed himself against my hip, leaned in close, glaring at me right in the eyes. Time seemed to slow down at that moment like we were locked eye to eye forever. For an eternity, and I knew what an eternity was. He slowly brought his lips to my ear, "Just pull the fucking trigger on me now, please." His warm breath sent shivers along my neck. It made me remember his touch on my skin, his lips on mine. That damn man ruined all other men for me, with those freaking lips that you can forget people in. He could easily erase all my heartache if he wanted to.
I could feel the heat of his body against mine. It felt like an inferno blazed from inside his chest.
"Hey, Shane," Ryan said.
Shane did nothing but shove his hands in his pockets and storm off down the street. Conner was through the door the next second, flying down the stairs after him.
Ryan tugged on his ear and chuckled, "Everything okay?"
My eyes were still on Shane as Conner caught up to him. They walked to the corner of the block together and then disappeared from my sight.
Ryan waited for my reply, puffed out his cheeks with air and blew it out.
I looked at him for the first time since I opened the door. My head shook back and forth and my heart thudded in my chest slow but hard and loud. There were very few things I was sure of at that moment. One, I did not feel like eating anymore. Two, Ryan was not Shane. Three, my palms were sweating from holding onto the door so hard. Four, Ryan was definitely not Shane.
"Ryan, I'm so sorry. But, I don't think it's a good idea that we go out tonight." I bit my bottom lip when I watched his lips turn down into a frown. "I think there are some things I have to work out with Shane. I'm sorry, but I'm not one of those girls who would lead someone on if I knew I had feelings for someone else."
"Yeah, oka y, Grace. If you change your mind though, or if he messes up, give me a call." I didn't watch Ryan walk away. I closed the door and sat down heavily on the floor.
Oh, crap. I was starting to have real feelings for Shane Maxton, and I had no idea what to do about it.
"Gray? Grace? What's wrong?" Lea ran down the hall to me and threw herself on the floor. "What the hell did I miss? I always miss stuff!"
"Nothing. I'm going to change. I'll be out in a minute," I whispered and walked to my room.
Turning the knob on my door, I pushed the door open with my hip and was half way in the room when I felt the drop in temperature. I stepped in further and the door slammed shut by itself behind me. Gabriel leaned against the far wall of my room, arms folded across his chest; his eyes closed.
I threw my coat on the mattress and flung the crunched up condom on the floor. I stalked towards him with my fists shaking. My stomach slammed against the walls of my body and a sharp pain seared through my jaw from clenching my teeth so tightly. "Leave."
Gabriel's eyes blinked open, his stoic expression killing all my thunder. "I miss you."
"You're delusional. Get out." I turned my back to him. Stupid me. I was slammed flat on my face across my mattress, all the air knocked out of my lungs. I struggled to move, to lift up my body, but I couldn't, Gabriel's cold steel body was straddled over mine. All my muscles tightened waiting for the blow, the hit, anything.