When I stepped back, Keith pressed the buttons to turn on the machine. “I’m not a doctor. They’d know better how to fix the settings to be perfect. This is the best I can do guessing. Pneumonia. Other things. If this is an obscure flu, we’re screwed. When I get him off the planet and away from here, I’ll reach out to Ari. I don’t want to risk being heard.”
That was the best we could do. Clay pushed gently past me. “I’m going to go get us out of here before we get caught.”
Quinn was dead on his feet. I could see it. I grabbed onto him, holding him around the waist. He was dirty, run down, but entirely alive. I’d never been so grateful for anything. “Hi.”
He grinned at me. “I might be a little bad off in the head for a while.”
I pointed at the second med machine. “You’re doing a run in there, too.”
“P, I’m okay.”
I shook my head. “Don’t argue with me. I’m not taking no for an answer. Get in the machine, or I will force you in it.”
He smirked. “All right. If you say so.”
Quinn could do this with an attitude, but he was doing it nonetheless. I wrapped my arms around him. “I missed you. Get totally healthy, and then we can move on from this. Please.”
He kissed me, and I closed my eyes. By the universe, I had missed him. “Okay, P. But only because you pushed your breasts up against me like that. I’d do just about anything for you if you do that.”
I rolled my eyes. “Good to know. Love you. In the machine.”
Quinn groaned but climbed into the machine. Keith shut it and turned it on. He turned around to regard me. “So we wait.”
I sunk down on the floor of the med quarters. There were chairs, but for some reason, the floor seemed more appealing. We’d gotten them out, but they weren’t okay. Had it taken too long? Was Tommy going to die? These weren’t things I could consider in a nice comfy chair. They were pacing-the-room or sit-on-the-floor questions. I didn’t have the energy to pace the ship.
“I’m sorry it took so long.”
Keith shook his head. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s a secret lair because it’s not easy to get to. You found it. That’s amazing.”
“Technically, Quinn escaped with all of them. He amassed an army of loyal people who worked for your father who we just left behind uprising.”
Keith ran a hand over his face. “They’ll be put down. Quinn knew that. I’d have done the same thing. This isn’t a ‘Quinn losing touch with reality’ thing. This is a ‘Quinn doing what he had to do’ thing.”
I nodded. “Anyway, the crowd went one way, I went where they had come from. Just in time to find them stumbling out.”
Keith kissed my cheek. “If only we’d known all we had to do was wait for them to break themselves out.”
I listened to the machines drone for a second. “What have you been doing with your time?”
He leaned his head down on my shoulder. “Obsessing. I may have figured out how to make phase dampeners work better on more modern ships. Thinking about time travel. Worrying about all of you. Painting, fixing, updating, repairing, listening to Clay yell at his tablet about some new client. The usual.”
I grinned. Nothing about what was happening now should have been amusing. Apparently, it was possible to find moments of levity in the midst of worry. “This is what you did when I was in the med machine. You sat on the floor and waited.”
“That was because there weren’t chairs. Why are we on the floor?” I turned my head slightly, and he kissed me. “Not that I’m complaining.” He spoke to me in between kisses. “Anywhere with you is wonderful.” A longer one, and I sighed. “But we have these really nice chairs here.”
I sighed. “It felt like a floor day. I won’t make you sit on it with me. Come on. We’ll move to the chairs.”
“Thanks.” He rose and took my hand, helping me do the same. “All I do lately is wait. This is some kind of lesson. I don’t know what kind, but a lesson in something, I guess.”
Sure. If he said so.
Quinn wasn’t in the machine very long. Three hours, and it turned off, indicating he was healed. I looked at the readout. Dehydration, malnourishment, and some small viruses that had to be dealt with. Otherwise, Quinn had made it through his ordeal pretty well. Considering he’d been knocked out badly during the original fight with his father’s men all those months ago, they must have had him fixed up before they put him in the dungeon.
Keith popped open the machine. Quinn wasn’t awake yet, not really. That was okay, we’d move him into one of the bedrooms and let him rouse comfortably in a bed. His eyes opened into tiny slits. “Keith, is P dead?”
“What?” I looked between Quinn and Keith. “Quinn, I’m right here.”
“Is she dead, Keith? They have a guy hidden in the base with Diana. They said she’s still in the med machine. Is she dead?”
My heart clenched. Had they thought I was dead?
Keith shook his head. “She’s not dead.” He nodded toward me. “She’s right here, bro. And you’re not really awake yet, so close your eyes and go back to sleep.”
Quinn winced. “Okay.” His head lolled to the side.
Keith hauled Quinn up over his shoulder. “Don’t worry too much about that. He’s not really awake.”
That was true, but I hated the thought they’d ever wondered if I was dead. There would come a time when none of us would ever question whether any of the rest of us lived. I’d see to it. Somehow. “Keith, they have a traitor.”
“I’ll get a message through. Even if I have to bounce it off ten different locations. I’ll make sure they know.”
I knew he would. I leaned up and kissed him. “Thank you for being you.”
His cheeks turned red. Had I actually made Keith blush? “You say the sweetest things. I love you. I’m going to trade places with Clay and have him stay with Tommy. Would you stay with Quinn until he wakes up?”
I nodded. “Absolutely. You’ll signal me if anything happens with Tommy?”
“Count on it.”
I would.
Quinn murmured some nonsensical things and turned his head. He was starting to wake. I stroked my hand through his blond hair and waited. I’d thought he was dead, that I would never get to do this again. I wasn’t going to take a second with any of them for granted.
His eyes opened slowly. “Hey, P.”
“Hey yourself.” I kissed him lightly on the lips. “Feeling okay?”
“Better than I deserve to feel, that’s for sure.” He rolled over onto his side, his eyes never leaving my face. “What was the diagnosis? How long was I under?”
Leave it to Quinn to want details first. “About three hours. Dehydration. Malnourishment. Some viruses hanging around. All gone.”
He swallowed, the muscles in his neck clenching, and I rolled over to get the water glass I’d placed there. He wasn’t dehydrated, that didn’t mean he wasn’t thirsty. He drank down the liquid then set it aside.
“And Tommy?” His tone was low. He and I had both gotten him to the ship, barely. He knew just how bad things had been.
I shook my head. “I don’t know anything yet.”
He rubbed his nose. “That makes sense. Sorry. Groggy. You’re okay? They told us you were in the med machine a long time. Oh, that means there’s a traitor and…”
I kissed him to stop him. “You told us when you first came out of the machine. Keith is making sure they know. I was sick a long time. The explosions hurt me pretty badly. I’m okay now. How many times have they tried to blow me up?”
He ran his hand up my arm. “Just making sure you’re really here.”
“I’m drinking you in with my eyes. The first thing I learned when I woke was that you guys were dead. I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for months.”
His eyes were hooded. “I want to talk more. I’m having trouble focusing. Must still have drugs in me. Sorry.”
“Don’t be, Quinn. Sleep as much as you like.”
I wandered into the control room just as Keith clicked off the comm. Quinn was sleeping soundly, and I was sure he wasn’t in any danger. I’d counted the rhythm of his breathing for an hour. Clay was asleep in the med room with Tommy. My second-oldest husband had his head down on the table, out like a light. When I’d kissed him, he hadn’t stirred. As for my oldest husband, the med machine held his vitals tightly. He was presumably getting better even though this was going to take a long time.
I tried to breathe through that anxiety. Nothing was going to get better by worrying about things I couldn’t change. I’d gotten to him.
Keith swung around in his chair. “I reached them about the traitor. They already knew.”
His expression gave nothing away. That meant he was contemplating how to tell me something. There was an ease in knowing someone really well. I marched toward him. “Go on.”
“Sterling interrogated the prisoner. They had some recent information. Apparently, my father is selling Waverly. She’s due to be sold on the black market on a space station near the outer rim of the Dark Planets.”
My stomach clenched. That was still my greatest fear, and my sister-in-law, whom I’d only known a short while but for whom I’d come to care for a lot, was going to face that eventuality. “We have to get to her.”
“I know.”
He didn’t need to finish what he was thinking. “Tommy.”
We weren’t sure of his condition yet. The best we could do to keep him safe and healthy was to go straight for Diana’s and seek real medical attention. The universe shifted under my feet. I sighed. I was really losing it with all of this universe nonsense. I was Paloma the initiate who couldn’t feel the universe move, and I was sticking with that.
“We have to get Tommy to Ari. That’s first and foremost.” I hated having to make that decision. “I won’t risk his life. Then we’ll go find Waverly.”
Quinn leaned in the doorway. “We can’t wait for Tommy to wake. I mean, we can. But if we do, however long that is, we’ll lose Waverly. You know what he’d say? I can practically hear him. Dump me with Ari, Quinn, and go get our sister. Or something like that.”
Keith rolled his eyes. “We’ll dump both of you with Ari. You two have been through trauma. You need a break not a trek to the Dark Planets.”
“I don’t feel traumatized.” Quinn sat down in one of the chairs. “Maybe we leave P there with Tommy and Ari and then go get our sister without her.”
I rolled my eyes, taking my usual spot in front of the communications array. “What if you need me? Lately, it seems my being a woman has been very useful.”
Quinn yawned. He so needed to be in bed still. That was clearly a losing battle. “Then I guess we all stay together. Tommy, too. I hate to tell you this, but it’s an either or. By the time we get to Diana’s, drop of Tommy, and go, it’ll be too late for our sister. So what do we do? Do we risk Tommy, who is likely at least in a consistent state of not dying in that machine, or do we lose Waverly forever? You know me. I don’t give a shit about anyone but us. This is my family here on this ship. I’m grateful to her, like I would try to help her if she happened to be conveniently nearby. I say we take Tommy to Ari, take a break, and go from there.”
“Wow…”
Keith groaned. “Oh, he always pulls this kind of shit when he’s hurting. Suddenly, he’s Quinn the sociopath. Ignore that speech. He doesn’t want to leave Waverly to her fate any more than you do.”
“Don’t I?” Quinn shrugged. “I just led dozens of people to their deaths—stupid idiots—so I could get Tommy out of there, and I’m not even sorry. What does that make me?”
I put my head on his shoulder. “Sad but not sorry.”
“There’s a third option.”
And I was afraid I needed to use it, badly.
10
No Shame In Asking
“Keith, get me Diana’s home again, please.” We were going to have to come up with a better name for the place than that. Maybe the guys were already calling it something else, but that was the only name I had for it. In my frenzy to go save my husbands, I hadn’t thought to ask.
He hit some buttons. “Sure. What are we doing?”
“We need help. We ask for it.” I reached over to rub his arm. “We’re not alone in the universe. I know sometimes it feels that way. We’re not.”
Keith rubbed my cheek with his thumb. “I’d be okay with being alone in the universe with just us. I know that’s not reality, and I’m grateful for your friends. When I needed help, I did go to them.”
Quinn groaned. “So romantic in here.”
He’d really woken up in a bad state. Diana’s face appeared on the screen. “Keith? Something else wrong?” She raised her eyebrows. “Paloma. Hi.”
“Hi.” It really was nice to see Diana looking so well. I hadn’t had enough time to get used to it since I’d all but run from her home. “This is Quinn. You met, sort of, on Mars Station, but I doubt you remember.”
She smiled at him. “Nice to meet you again, Quinn.”
He nodded. “Yep.”
Okay, we really did need what I was going to ask her for. “I need help.”
She nodded, fast. “Whatever I can do.”
Quinn pushed his chair back. “I think I’m going to see if there is anything bitter in the kitchen. There is enough sweet in here.”
A muscle ticked in Keith’s jaw. “Quinn.”
“Leave him.” I didn’t want to waste the time I had to speak to Diana on Quinn and Keith arguing. I waited for Quinn to storm off before I looked at Diana again. “My sister-in-law Waverly is in trouble. I need to rescue her before she disappears forever. But Tommy is very sick and Quinn is bordering on losing it. I need Ari.”
Diana cleared her throat. “Did you say Waverly?”
“Yes.” That seemed like a strange response. “Why?”
“Sterling said your husbands’ sister was in trouble but not that name. I would have remembered it. Um, okay. Sure. It’s a name I’ve heard before, that’s all. I think Ari is probably okay to travel. He’s not been exactly right since his experience. I’ll send Canyon or Rohan to bring him. And maybe Jackson, too.”
Why was she going to send Jackson? I was going to ask when Keith pointed at the controls. “Someone’s trying to grab the signal. Wrap it up.”
“You should know the space station where they have her. Where they do all their dirty deeds. Have them meet us there.”
Diana nodded. “Be careful, Paloma. Coming back together after separations are tricky. Trust me, I know.”
We ended our conversation. I sat back in my chair. I’d asked for help, and I was going to get it. I’d been alone long enough to know how incredibly lucky that was. I’d never take my friends for granted. But what was I going to do about my husbands? They’d already been wounded enough over the years and now had a whole new slew of pain to deal with.
“Go take a nap, Keith.”
He winced. “That obvious that I’m tired?”
“Only to me.” I kissed his cheek. “I’d come with you, but I’m going to fly the ship for a while.”
It was my turn to navigate all of us, in more ways than one.
I knew he would come once I was alone. Quinn hadn’t liked the others with me, not when he’d been feeling so completely vulnerable. Even his twin brother had been too much company. Or at least that was how I’d read him. I could’ve been completely wrong. I never really knew what was going on in someone else’s head. Even if they told you, that didn’t mean they understood themselves at all.
I waited for Quinn to sit. I didn’t want him looming over me. That was posture for fighting. That was not what Quinn needed. As much as I prided myself on keeping my temper, I’d been locked away in his father’s house for a long time. I was short on energy and my temper was high. He didn’t get to own having a short fuse right now. I wasn’t going to win any awards for selflessness.
I had a breaking point, too.
“I’m an assh
ole.”
I turned to regard his hard profile. No one thought worse of Quinn than himself. “That’s not how I think of you. I wish you didn’t think of yourself that way either.”
“I came in here to have a fight with you. I was rude to your oldest friend.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You were. But I would imagine Diana has had people be rude to her before. I think she’ll forgive you.”
He cleared his throat. “Will you?”
“I was never mad. More like concerned.” I extended my hand to him. “Come here.”
He rose from the chair and came over to me, linking our fingers together. “P, I’m all over the place in my head.” He dropped to his knees in front of me, pressing his head against my stomach. “I swore after the mess with Dad using my plan to hurt people that I’d try really hard not to screw with people’s lives. That I would protect us. Then Tommy wanted to go take back the homeland. Fine. Okay. I really thought we would be better for people than my father. But then there we were in the dungeon and Tommy was so sick. I just decided to turn all of those people’s fears, wishes, and disappointments around on them until they gave me what I wanted.” He lifted his eyes to meet mine. “What is the matter with me?”
“I’ll never have that kind of power. Did you inherit your father’s ability to persuade people to do things that goes against their best interest? Sure. Did you use that gift, or whatever it is, to save your brother’s life? You did. I’d have done it if I could have. I think it just means you love your family. That’s the difference. The only person Garrison loves is Garrison. He doesn’t even love his kids. He uses you for how it looks or for some kind of legacy. I don’t know. I think if you feel sort of disgruntled about it that has to be a good thing, my love. It’ll stop you from using the power without thought.”
He pressed his head back down against my stomach, and I held onto him. We were in clear space, and as far as I could tell, no one from Sandler One was chasing us. We’d just stay like this for a while. Sometimes I wanted to hold onto someone and never let go. I’d be that person for Quinn now.