6
Things Can Go Wrong, Or They Can Go Right
Five Months Earlier
Sandler Space, Earth Standard Time
Paloma Sandler
Quinn rubbed my back and woke me from my sleep. I’d gone to bed alone, but I wasn’t upset to have company now. I rolled over to smile at him, and his mouth met mine fast. Had something happened? I’d ask later. For now, he’d come here for something other than talking, and I wanted it, too. I always craved Quinn, much more so than I suspected he understood.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his weight came down on top of me. I loved the feel—the way his body, so much bigger than mine, could envelop me in his energy. I loved knowing I was that protected. Things could happen, but Quinn would always put himself between danger and me. I would do the same for him.
I rode the wave of possession his body language spoke of and let my mind stop thinking. The room was dark. Quinn smelled clean and all male. He was warm, like he’d just gotten out of the shower. His shirt was soft against me, but he had a day’s worth of whiskers on his face that pricked a little bit. I relished the sensation.
He pulled back just enough to breathe then kissed my neck, all the places he could reach. I scooted back and pulled my shirt off. His gaze roamed my body.
“I’ll never get used to looking at you, not ever.”
There was sadness in his eyes. Had I put that there? “Quinn, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, now. Everything is right.”
He kissed me gently, and I let him set the pace. He took off his own shirt. I ran my hands over his skin. I wanted to memorize Quinn. He was lean but muscular, his abs well defined. I felt his hot gaze on me and ignored it. If I acknowledged him, he’d move us on from this. I wanted to touch him as much as he did me.
Finally, he shuddered. That was what I’d been waiting for. That was Quinn getting out of his own head.
Then he was on me. His mouth was everywhere. He squeezed my breast as his mouth made love to the other nipple. I squirmed beneath him. Quinn hadn’t had much sexual experience when we met, but boy had he learned fast.
My groin bumped his cock and he moaned, a long sound that made my already heating body hotter. I took off his pants, which was harder than it should have been because he didn’t want to stop what he was doing to my breasts.
I giggled and then he finally moved back enough to let me undress him. After I took his briefs off, his long, hard cock was too much temptation for me to ignore. I stroked him up and down, listening to his breathing change and watching the way he squished up his face as though he couldn’t believe what he was feeling.
This was the Quinn only I got to see.
“P,” he held my hand still. “I never thought I’d be here, with you. Even after we met it seemed impossible to me that there would be a time when I could climb in bed with my wife and just know that she loved me and wanted me there. You’ve been such a gift to me.”
I wanted to ask him what had brought that on but he didn’t give me the chance.
“Roll over, P.”
I could have stopped this and made him talk. Still, he’d come in here seeking pleasure with me. If he needed this connection, I wouldn’t complain. So did I. We lived in constant stress.
I rolled over. Quinn removed my pants, which were easier than his since they were pajama material and practically floated off when he touched them. He massaged my ass and pleasure whipped through me.
His mouth was on my back where he lightly bit down. “Quinn,” I called out his name. I did love when he bit me.
“She likes that. I know. I like to give my girl what she likes.”
Moving his hand around to my front, he pushed a finger inside of me. My muscles clenched in response. I was ready for him.
“I want you, Quinn. Please.”
He sucked in a breath. “Right now.”
Quinn pressed himself inside of me slowly. From the angle, with him behind me, he was able to really get deep penetration, and I closed my eyes as my body adjusted to him being so far inside.
He rubbed my hip gently. When he spoke, it was a whisper in my ear. “This okay, P?”
“Yes.” I leaned back against him, and he moved. In and out, each thrust took him slightly deeper inside of me until I wasn’t sure where one of us started and the other ended. I did like a little pain sometimes with my pleasure, and I was getting it this time. Each time the penetration hurt just a little I was rewarded the next second with overwhelming heat and desire that pushed it all away. Over and over. Quinn brought me to the edge and held me there.
I waited for him. I wanted so desperately to come together. I heard it, the second his breath hitched in just the way that I knew Quinn was going to come. On a sigh, I went right over with him.
Sometime later, I lay in his arms. He wasn’t sleeping. Some of the tension I’d felt in him when he’d first come in returned.
“Tell me.”
“I love you.”
I bit down lightly on his arm, and he laughed. “Tell me what you don’t want to say.”
“I can’t see a scenario where we get out of this successfully. I’ve told Tommy, but he’s committed to the plan we had in place, the one that has been working, taking out the ships’ docks one at a time. He thinks I’ve just gone dark.”
Our strategy seemed to be working. Ships came and went quietly. We worked in groups of two. We attacked and vanished. It had been Quinn’s idea to begin with. Sandler worked as a large assault squad. We didn’t let them do what they were best at. For the first time in weeks, everyone seemed optimistic again.
“Do you think this is you going dark?”
He frowned. “I haven’t, really, since you came, P. I don’t mean to put that on you. You’re not responsible for my happiness. Or when I’m upset that’s also not your fault. But you gave me a new outlook on the universe.”
Okay, so then it was probably not that. “Did you see a reading I missed? Did something trigger this?”
“I can’t put my finger on it. I just know it.”
My easy mood fled. If Quinn said he knew something, then he knew it. I swung my legs off the bed. “Then we have to go tell the others and get Tommy to listen.”
“I tried.”
I threw my hands in the air before I scampered around the room looking for my discarded pajamas. I couldn’t get fully dressed. We had to talk, now. Abruptly, I stopped. Keith leaned in the threshold of the door. He had his arms crossed.
“It’s the tech, isn’t it, Quinn? That’s why you feel like you do. Yeah, I was listening. Wanted to see if she was awake. It’s the tech. Captain Matthews had it so our father has it. It’s why I had to fix it over and over: so they could learn it. Fuck me. That’s why. We can’t see them because we’re not looking the right way.”
This wasn’t surprising at all. Keith could always speak Quinn, even when Quinn couldn’t vocalize his thoughts himself. Quinn got his pants, and they were both on the run, fast. I’d wanted to follow, but my feet wouldn’t work.
I’d had a sense right before I was dragged to the Sisterhood of the Universe that something bad was going to happen. I’d have to have been an idiot to not know—my father had dragged me naked through the promenade after I’d had sex. I was many things, but at least after that, I hadn’t been stupid.
I was having the same feeling right then. Like the floor of the ship was about to vanish and I was going to be left adrift in space.
“I think you’re all overreacting. Show me some proof or shut the fuck up.” Tommy’s loud bellow sounded, and I winced. “And I cannot believe you brought this shit to Paloma. As if she doesn’t have reason to be nervous enough.”
Clay appeared in front of me. “Okay? I know you don’t like fighting.”
“Clay.” I grabbed onto his shirt. My worst nightmare was coming back. Ever since my time with the bounty hunter, I knew first hand there were fates worse than death. What happened to the women on the Dark Planets when they wer
e put on the auction blocks was not something I could live with. Any number of horrifying futures awaited them. Slavery. Gang rapes. Experiments. No, I couldn’t live with that. “Don’t let them send me to some auction block. Okay? If it looks like they are going to send me somewhere where my life will never be okay again, then I want you to… end me. If they’ve gotten that far with us, then presumably there is no hope for us anyway.” I couldn’t believe I was speaking those words, but they were important. I wouldn’t be sold and abused. “Anything else I can survive. Okay? I am a survivor. Anything but that.”
He grabbed my shoulders. “Wow. They really scared you. We’re going to be okay.”
“Clay.” I shook my head. “Promise me.”
He narrowed his eyes. I shouldn’t be asking for this from him. Quinn and Keith would understand. Tommy would say he’d do it. For Clay, I might as well have shot him through the heart. Still, he nodded his head. “I won’t let anyone send you to an auction block. But if that were to happen, yes, okay, I’ll end you first.”
“Thank you.”
The ship shook, and I heard Tommy cry out, “Oh shit!”
“How’s that for proof?” Keith spat out. “They’re right here.”
I wished I’d put on clothes. That was such a ridiculous thought, but it was the only one I had right then. We were going to be boarded, maybe killed. I supposed it didn’t matter what clothing I wore to die. If they were going to take us, however, I was going to seriously regret that I hadn’t taken the time to put on some real clothing.
Clay let go of me and ran for the control room. I didn’t follow. I didn’t have to see what was coming; I knew.
Quinn tore out of the room as soon as Clay entered. “The pod. You have to go.”
“Go where?” I sat down in the chair. “I’m not going to be spit from this ship. Even if we were near somewhere I could get help, and we’re not, I’m not leaving you. We’re married, my love. Till death do us part. Isn’t that the old expression? Would you leave me if the circumstances were reversed?”
The ship vibrated. I’d been wrong. We weren’t being boarded. They were going to tug us to them.
Quinn shook his head. He walked over and sat down in the chair next to me. I was strangely calm. Not fearful. Not terrified. Not even particularly worried. Everything had always been leading to this.
Quinn’s eyes twinkled. “I think my favorite thing you ever made was when we were on Earth. You did the chicken with a white sauce. If we’d stayed there a little longer, I was going to ask you to make that again for my birthday.”
I wished he’d told me. “I didn’t need a reason to make it again. I could have done it just because it was Tuesday.”
Five months later, Earth Standard Time
Artemis, en route to Sandler Space
* * *
The ship was old but it was sturdy. That was the impression I got. Tommy’s shuttles were sleek, fast, and smooth. I felt the space bumps on Artemis. But they’d dragged Tommy off his sleek shuttle—after he’d tried to go down with it—and I had a feeling it would be very hard to get someone off Artemis who didn’t want to leave.
There was a reason the rebels had wanted to be on these vessels. Lots of hidey-holes, lots of places to stand and fire. I touched the walls as I walked, and I was unsure why. I wondered if somehow they could talk to me.
Running feet caught my attention, and I turned to see Clay charging down the hall. “Been looking for you. This place is huge. We need to get ourselves all hooked up to the speaker system so we can reach each other. My father had a ship like this when I was very young. I mean, obviously not this model, but we used to take it to go to one of the moons where he kept his horses. We’d ride. I spent half the day running to find Tommy, running to make sure the twins were okay. This is reminiscent.”
I walked into his arms. “Were you looking for me?”
“Yes. Just because I missed you. Keith’s on the controls. There’s nothing to do until we get to Sandler space. Then they either let us land or they don’t. It’ll be easier if they do.”
I nodded against his shoulder. “Hurry up and wait is the worst.”
“I’m sorry we didn’t believe you when you said they were alive.”
What? It took me a moment to realize what he was saying. “I sounded crazy. I don’t think I had some kind of psychic vision. I think I was just lucky I was correct.”
He made a sound in the back of his throat. “Paloma, everything has been nuts. I need you. I know that’s selfish. Would you please make love to me?”
“I need you, too, Clay.” Now that I knew they were alive, I needed to feel that way, too.
He took my hand. My pulse kicked up, and by the time we made it to the bedroom we’d determined was mine, we were both laughing. I pushed him down on the bed and straddled his dressed body. Clay had been the first of his brothers I’d met. He’d come to the Sisterhood, and saving his life had earned me a beating.
He’d grabbed the stick and refused to let them hit me anymore. They had, but he’d tried.
“Mr. McQueen.” I imitated the way Sister Superior had spoken to him. “You are so fucking sexy.”
“Mrs. Sandler”—he changed last names, using his real one and not the one he’d faked for so long—“you saved my life that day and continue to every day since.”
I took off my clothes. He watched me silently. His breaths hissed in and out as he watched me. Finally, I was fully naked. “Do you like what you see?”
He nodded, not answering with words. Had the ability to speak left him? There was an incredible power in feeling sexy. Maybe one of my breasts wasn’t perfectly the same size as the other. Maybe I would have always liked my stomach to be less round. When Clay looked at me, I was perfection.
“Clay, I’m going to take your clothes off, and then I want you to fuck me into tomorrow.”
He nodded. “Paloma, I thought you were dead. Every day I’d open my eyes and think that was the day Ari would tell me it was over. And then you opened your eyes. I had dozed off, and I woke up to Keith hauling you out of the machine. I’ll do whatever you want whenever you want it. I love you. I fucking love you.”
To hear Clay so raw moved me, leaving me with tears in my eyes. As fast as I could, I took off his clothes and climbed on top of him. I’d told him to fuck me but that wasn’t what I wanted now. I needed him, but beyond that, I wanted to give him as much of me as I could.
“Honey, not yet. You’ve not had foreplay.”
I shook my head. “Foreplay is for days on the beach on some planet when we can look back at this time as that weird past, way behind us. I want things, Clay, and on that list is my desire for you. Please remind me that you love me.”
His nostrils flared. “Anything.”
This was such a different Clay than the one who had taught Quinn how to fuck me on a kitchen table. This was Clay not knowing how to move forward. That was okay. We were all going to be a million people between now and the end of our lives. Every day we were reborn. Today, I’d be in charge.
I slipped him inside of me. “Clay, put your arms over your head, and don’t move.”
I’d never done this before. I hoped I could pull it off, and yet at the same time, I was totally confident I could.
He nodded. “Yes, my love.”
His hands went where I’d instructed. Sweat had broken out on his brow. I loved him so much. “Just this once, you’re going to let me take care of you.”
“I need you.”
I understood the sentiment. “You come when you want to, Clay. You don’t worry about anything, not even me. Just for today, I am in charge of my own orgasm.”
His eyes flared with concern. “Paloma, I need you to come.”
“Then count on me to make that happen.”
I moved on him, slowly at first. I wanted to draw out Clay’s pleasure. Not worrying about my own freed me up to take care of him. I always wanted them to come, but it was like we had switched roles. Most of the time t
hey made sure to see to my orgasm before their own. The responsibility was on me, and I frickin’ loved it.
I squeezed my muscles around him which brought him closer to my clit. I rubbed and rubbed. He cried out, gripping the bed where I’d told him to hold onto it. “Fuck.”
“Yes, exactly.” I grinned. “That was the idea.”
When he gasped, I thrust down on him, and when he, moaned I rose. Clay let go of the bed to grab his face. He moaned loudly. I’d never had this level of response from him in bed before. He needed this, and I’d had no idea. Clay had taught me to love sex, and now I was teaching him to give over control.
By the universe, I loved this man.
I pressed down hard, my muscles squeezing and his hips bucking beneath me. I cried out. Yes, that movement had rubbed right against my clit. Pleasure zipped through me. Eventually, I found the rhythm that was working for us. He cried out, his neck muscles straining. Clay was holding off.
“You can come, Clay.”
He shook his head. “Not till you do. Can’t till you do.”
Fair enough. If that was what he needed I would certainly comply. I grabbed his hand and brought it to my clit. In between movements, he could stroke me. Clay’s eyes lit up. This must have been what he wanted.
A few presses on that bundle of nerves and I was coming, hard. My orgasm called his and we both came hard, together.
According to the ship’s computer, it was mid-afternoon Earth time, so we lay together in the bed, with the lights making us feel like it was daytime. Neither of us was asleep. Clay rubbed my hand. “You know, I never would have thought I’d like that.”
“Me kind of controlling the whole thing?” I rolled onto my side. “We all have moments where we want someone else in charge.”
He kissed my palm. “I’m in charge in court or when I’m dealing with anything to do with the law. I was always happy to let Tommy be in charge of the rest of our life. I didn’t want to manage the family. But, if Tommy and Quinn had really been dead, I would have found somewhere for the three of us to go to lick our wounds and try to find a sad peace somewhere. I couldn’t see past that, but I would have taken care of us.”