13. SAY YOU WILL
♫ https://youtu.be/SRqZt8jMwV0
DINNER WITH MONICA’S FAMILY WAS UNEVENTFUL. AS I ate my usual twelve plates, I wondered if they really bought the story Monica fed them about my athleticism being the reason for my abnormal appetite. I also wondered how they would react if they knew the real reason for my appetite was because my body was so dense that I actually weighed over 700 pounds and needed to eat about six times as much food as a normal person in order to properly nourish myself.
As we all ate, laughed, and talked, I was impressed by how well I was able to blend in with them. Aside from the fact that I ate more food than all of them combined, it almost seemed like I could have been a regular part of their family. Monica’s seemingly perfect family made me long for a substitute for my own highly dysfunctional family. But then again, I wasn't normal. So why did I deserve a normal family?
Once dinner was over and I said my goodbyes, Monica grabbed the keys to her dad’s SUV and offered to drive me home.
It was already dark outside as we hit the road. I studied her as she drove. She was such a cautious driver, always focused on the road, never taking her hands off of the wheel.
“Thanks for inviting me over, Monica,” I said, breaking the silence.
“Thanks for not being a jerk this time,” she replied with a delightful smile.
“The night’s still young! I’ve still got time to piss you off,” I jokingly shot back.
“You certainly do a good job of that when you put forth the effort,” she quipped.
I stared at her without responding. I was trying to decide if I should follow through with the surprise that I had planned for her. I could tell that the silence was making her uncomfortable. She glanced over at me then back to the road.
“Why did you stop talking?” she asked, her tone letting me know that she thought she had done something wrong.
“Well, I'm trying to decide if I should show you the surprise I had planned for you.”
She couldn’t hide her excitement as her beaming smile stretched from ear to ear. It was dark out and there were no lights on inside the SUV, but even in darkness I could easily tell that I was looking at one of the most gorgeous people to have ever existed. I didn't know what I had done to deserve the company of the most beautiful person on Earth, but I was determined to do whatever it took to stay within her good graces.
“So, what's the surprise?” she asked.
“I’m not telling,” I said, pulling my eyes away from hers. I knew that if I continued to look into her eyes, I wouldn’t be able to resist telling her what I had planned.
“Why not?!” she demanded.
“Because it’s actually a pretty big secret, and I’m not sure if I should reveal it to you,” I said. “Turn right at this stop sign.”
“That's not fair, Mister. You said you would do whatever it takes to earn my forgiveness, remember?” Monica said as she playfully pouted.
“But you've already forgiven me,” I said as I gestured for her to make a left turn.
“Says who? You're not officially forgiven until I actually say ‘I forgive you,’ and I don't recall saying that.”
“So why did you invite me over for dinner?” I asked.
“It was a trial to see if you are worthy of my forgiveness. So far, I’d say you're doing a horrible job,” she said, still making that playful pouty face.
I couldn't keep a straight face with her looking at me that way. I fought desperately to restrain my smile to a normal one, but I couldn’t stop it from spreading from ear to ear as I watched her.
“You certainly don't fight fair, do you?” I asked.
“Never,” she replied with a wink. “So spit it out, Mister.”
“Fine. Your surprise is…” I paused to wait until the building was in view. “…Inside there,” I said as I pointed ahead to AJ’s Storage.
Monica stopped the SUV in front of AJ's Storage. I withdrew a small remote from my jacket pocket and opened the gate.
“Interesting. What kind of surprise is this?” she asked.
“You'll see.”
I guided her to the very back of the lot and had her park in front of 3D. Jason and Howie were long gone by then, so we had the place all to ourselves. I was glad that she didn't object to following me into a dark storage facility after dark.
“Thanks for not thinking I'm a creeper,” I said as I punched the access code into the control panel of the main door to 3D.
“The jury is still out,” she replied, jokingly.
She was speechless as the automatic door retracted into the roof, revealing the contents of our secret hideout. Jason had been busy upgrading the furniture and equipment. He had even installed a bathroom. By that point, the Third Dimension was probably better decorated and equipped than most people’s homes.
“Wow!” Monica said as she walked around, marveling at the sophistication of our hideout. “This is amazing, Adam! What is this place? Did you do all of this?”
As if I had that kind of money, I thought. “We call it the Third Dimension,” I said. “The property belongs to my buddy Jason Kilpatrick's dad. Jason put everything together, though. I figured this would be a nice place for us to hang out too. That is, if you’re okay with it.”
“Well, tell Jason I said thanks for the surprise,” Monica joked.
“This is merely the venue, my dear. This is the surprise,” I stated as I reached in my backpack and withdrew a copy of “Frozen Sky,” the latest 3D concert film by the international pop sensation Travis.
Monica's face was suddenly flushed with excitement.
“How did you know?! Who told you I liked Travis?!” Monica asked as she snatched the copy from my hands and studied every inch of the package.
“I cheated. I read your profile online.”
“So you're okay watching this too, Adam? Are you telling me that you’re a closet Travis fan?”
“Absolutely not! This is just how far I'm willing to go in order to win your forgiveness.”
“Well in that case, Mister, I suppose you’re forgiven.”
“Can I get that in writing? I'm sure you understand my concern,” I grinned.
“Keep that up and I'll change my mind.” Monica playfully shoved me and made a b-line for the couch. “Can we watch it on this?” she asked, pointing at the massive projector screen on the wall in front of the couch.
“That's the plan,” I said calmly. I was surprised at how smoothly the words came out. I fought the urge to tell her that we could do anything she wanted. I didn't want to seem too desperate, even though that was clearly the case. Luckily, I was getting pretty good at pretending to be something that I wasn't.
Travis was actually not a bad singer by any stretch. The problem for me was that his fan base was mostly comprised of teenage girls. The fact that almost every female on the planet loved his music made most guys hate it by default. My hate for Travis' concert film wasn’t nearly as strong as my desire to spend time with Monica, however. I would have watched a marathon of his concerts if it meant I got to spend time with her.
As the film started, the 3D projection of Travis suddenly appeared before us. I couldn’t help but hate everything about him. I hated the way he danced. Hated the way he sang. I even hated the way his slightly tanned skin blended perfectly with his sandy blond, flawlessly cropped hair. But she loved him, and that was all that mattered. I noticed her smiling and looking at me as I endured the agony of Travis’ 3D avatar seemingly dancing a few feet away from us.
“What are you smiling about?” I asked.
“I was just thinking that I was completely wrong about you. After you were such an enormous jerk the other day, I didn’t even think you were capable of something like this,” she said warmly.
“There are a lot of things you don't know about me,” I casually replied. Like the fact that I almost lifted a pickup truck above my head yesterday, I thought to myself. As we continued to watch the concert, the urge to divulg
e my secret to her kept swelling inside of my chest. The only thing holding me back was the fear of her thinking that I was a freak. How could she not think that? I weighed over 700 pounds. Who wants to date a half-ton skinny guy?
She would probably be afraid to be intimate with me out of fear of being crushed under my inexplicable weight. And who could blame her? Who wants to be with someone that could possibly kill them just by lying on top of them?
Besides, I was already doing such a good job of convincing her that I was normal. Maybe I didn’t have to be able to bench press several thousands of pounds in order to garner her affection.
I continued to watch her as she gawked at the 3D projection of Travis as he sang his hit single “Say You Will.” He was everything that I wasn't. My hair wasn't nearly as perfect. I had put on a bit of muscle in the past few days, but I wasn't nearly as chiseled as the Greek god-like figure that held the girl of my dreams in such a trance.
I'm not sure why I tried it. Perhaps it was the subtle jealously that I felt as I watched her pine over the virtual projection of a guy she had never met before. Whatever the case, my attempt to kiss the girl of my dreams was unsuccessful. I took solace in the fact that she did not freak out. She simply pulled her head just out of reach as I made my move.
I had seen in the movies where the girl always resisted at first but ultimately came back in for the big kiss. I waited for that moment as we stared into each other's eyes but the moment never came.
A potent wave of embarrassment washed over me as I sat there, probably looking like a buffoon in her eyes. I stood and turned my back to her, wishing I could somehow have that moment back.
“I’m sorry. I didn't mean to be too forward,” I said as I felt her soft hand fall onto my shoulder.
“It’s okay, Adam. You don't have to apologize. I just don't know if I'm ready for that yet.” Her voice was soft and comforting.
As Travis’ tunes still played in the background, I buried my shame beneath a mountain of pride. I could feel it coming, but there was no way I was about to let a tear fall. The faux-smile that I plastered across my face was as genuine a fake smile as I could muster as I whipped around to face her.
“Can I at least have a hug?” I asked. My delivery of the line was infinitely smoother than I expected. Where did this swagger come from? I thought. It felt as though I was having an out-of-body experience, as this version of myself took in stride the caliber of rejection that would normally bring me to my knees.
Monica smiled as she gazed at me. I could tell that she was still trying to figure me out, but as she fell into my outstretched arms, there was no denying that she liked me. We embraced with the 3D avatar of Travis still dancing a few feet away.
“Creeper,” Monica jokingly mumbled with her head still buried in my chest.
I smiled as I stared at the projection of Travis. For a fraction of a second we seemed to lock gazes. I silently mouthed the words “I win” before he went back to dancing.
It was true. I had won, but in my gut it only seemed to be a temporary victory. The girl of my dreams was falling for me, but would she feel the same if she knew the real me? Would she still be comfortable being alone with me at this time of night if she knew what I was truly capable of?
14. THE DARK SIDE OF ME