Especially touching him.
But then it occurs to me. He’s not avoiding me, and I was the one who left. Shouldn’t he be pissed?
“Why are you here?” I ask suddenly and turn to look him in the eye. The expression on his handsome face doesn’t change, and for a minute, I don’t think he’s going to answer me. He’s changed so much, and yet, he’s exactly the same. He’s filled out. His shoulders are wider, his jaw more square. But his eyes are the same.
“I don’t know,” he finally says. “My first reaction was to turn Trevor down, especially when he told me I’d be working with you.”
I nod. “Seems logical.”
“But then I thought about it, and I decided that I wanted to see you. And at some point, not today, I’ll want to talk to you.”
“You’re talking to me now.”
He raises a brow. Perfectly, of course. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“Look—”
“Today isn’t the day for this conversation,” he says. He reaches out to touch my hair and I flinch away. His gaze darkens.
“I don’t like to be touched.”
“That’s new.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s really not.”
“You didn’t mind when I touched you.”
“You’re right.”
He steps back and seems to take me in from the top of my head to my feet, and I stand here, wondering if he can see the extra pounds and the extra miles of life that I carry around these days.
“You’re as beautiful as you ever were.”
I smirk. “Thanks for saying so. You look great. I’m glad you’re doing well.”
“When do you want to get started?”
“Tomorrow morning. We will have to start early because I have to begin lunch prep at about ten thirty.”
“Does seven thirty work?”
“Sure.” I cringe inside. That’ll mean less sleep for me, but I’ll make it work. “I’ll meet you here.”
“Excellent.” He turns to leave, and then stops and looks back at me. “It’s good to see you, Mia.”
I just nod and then he’s gone, and I’m standing in my empty kitchen, alone. How did I let them talk me into this?
“Are you okay?” Addie asks from the doorway. I turn to look at her and shrug.
“Yeah. I think it’s still kind of surreal.”
She smirks. “I bet. He’s handsome. He seems nice, and he looks at you like you hung the moon.”
“Please.” I shake my head and pull potatoes out of a bin to peel them. “He doesn’t even know me.”
“He used to,” Addie mutters. She looks fantastic, as usual. Addie runs the front of the house, and with a background in fashion she is always put together. She’s wearing her glasses today, which only makes her look more mysterious and beautiful.
Kat walks into the kitchen, followed by Riley and Cami.
“Are we having a party?” I ask my business partners.
“A dude you used to be married to just left our restaurant,” Cami replies.
“Yes. I was here,” I remind her.
“We want to make sure you’re good. I can bring you more wine if you need it. I just got a fabulous new Cabernet from France that I’ve been dying to try.”
As our wine bar manager, Kat is excellent in her job. She’s also excellent at keeping us liquored up if we need it.
“I have to work,” I remind them. “And I appreciate you all being worried about me, but I’m fine. It actually went better than I expected.”
“We’ve known you a long time, Mia,” Cami says, narrowing her eyes. “And we have your back. If you’re not comfortable with this—”
“I’m fine.” I sigh and look each of them in the eyes. They’re my best friends, my business partners, and they know me better than anyone else. “Honest.”
“Okay.” Kat nods. “Let’s get out of her kitchen before she throws a potato at us.”
“Good plan,” I agree and shift my focus to peeling potatoes.
“But you’ll tell us if you’re ever not okay?” Riley asks.
“Sure.” I plaster a smile on my face and make a shoo motion with my hand. “Now get the hell out of my kitchen.”
“She’s so bossy,” Cami says as they all file out of the kitchen, and I’m left with my own thoughts.
I saw Camden today, and it didn’t kill me.
Yet.
Chapter Two
~Camden~
I come to Portland often. It’s a foodie’s paradise, and I enjoy visiting a few times a year. I’ve known that Mia lives here, and I’d heard through the restaurant grapevine that she’d opened her own place. Until today, I haven’t visited it. It seemed respectful to stay away. Mia made it clear years ago that she was moving on with a life that didn’t include me. Showing up at her restaurant just seemed like a douche move in the past.
But when the job offer came in for this gig, I was torn between wanting to jump at it and turning it down flat.
Then, late one night with only my insomnia and fuzzy brain, I replied to Trevor’s email and accepted the job.
I’ve had relationships since Mia. None that lasted long, and none that I would have considered taking to the ’til death do we part phase. Having just ended a brief relationship, I thought it might be time to see her face to face. To talk to her, and to see if the chemistry is still there.
I’m no expert, but I’d say it’s still there. She’s beautiful. I couldn’t stop looking at her, listening to her voice.
It’s like I’d been in the desert for a week and she was a cool drink of water.
“Well?” my sister, Stephanie, asks as I walk into the vacation rental we have for the week. “How was it?”
“It was”—I tilt my head—“interesting.”
I walk past her to the kitchen and retrieve a bottle of water from the fridge just as my brother-in-law, Chip, returns from a run around the neighborhood. He’s panting, and sweaty, and steals my water for himself.
Knowing that I’d be in town for a while, I rented this house rather than stay in a hotel. Steph and Chip live up in Seattle and came down for the week to relax. Now that I live in L.A. full time, I don’t see them as often as I’d like.
“Thanks,” Chip says with a grin. I reach for another and snap the top off, take a long drink, and smile at my sister.
“Talk,” she demands.
“There’s not much to say,” I reply and lean my hips against the countertop. “It was just an initial meeting, I got the tour, and we start working tomorrow morning.”
“That’s not what I want to know.”
“I feel good about it,” I answer, deliberately avoiding any talk of Mia.
“That’s not what I want to know either.”
Chip rolls his eyes and kisses his wife on the forehead. “Leave the man alone.”
“No,” she says and props her hands on her hips. She’s in full-on big sister mode. “Tell me about her.”
“Who?”
Chip laughs and tosses his empty bottle in the recycle bin.
“I’m going to throat punch you,” Steph says with narrowed eyes.
“You’re so violent.” I smirk and then shrug. “She looks great. The restaurant is pretty amazing. It’s a fresh, fun concept with the aphrodisiacs on the menu and the atmosphere is romantic. They’ve done a really great job.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Is she single?”
I scowl at her. “I didn’t ask. And that’s not what I’m here for, Steph. I’m here to work.”
“And to check her out,” Steph replies.
“I never should have told you that I was doing this show with her.”
“You’re right,” Chip says with a nod. “You know how nosy your sister is.”
“I’m not nosy,” she insists. “He’s my baby brother, and I’ve taken care of him all by myself since he was a teenager.”
“I’m not a teenager now,” I remind her and then wrap my arm
s around her to give her a hug.
“I might be a little nosy,” she admits.
“I admit I wanted to see her.” I pull back and shrug. “There’s still chemistry there. But I can tell that she’s not interested in anything personal.”
“How can you tell?” Steph asks.
“She’s cold. Distant. Didn’t even want to look me in the eyes.”
She rolls her eyes. “Men can be so dumb. You made her uncomfortable, given the circumstances, but that doesn’t mean she’s not interested. You don’t know her, and she doesn’t know you anymore. If you don’t want anything personal between you, do the show and walk away. And she can do the same. No harm, no foul. But if you spend some time together, and you fall in love, well . . . that’s pretty cool. I want to be in the wedding.”
“Hold on there, fast girl.” I shake my head. “No one is talking about love.”
“Least of all, you,” she replies, making me frown.
“I’m going to end this conversation.” I take a drink of water. “I’m going to Seduction tonight for dinner. You’re both welcome to join me if you want.”
“Is that even a question?” Steph asks Chip. “Does he honestly think that I don’t want to go?”
“He’s not stupid,” Chip says with a laugh. “We’re in, bro.”
“It’ll be good to see her again,” Steph says. “Does she look the same?”
No, she’s sexier than I remember.
“Pretty much.”
“She’s such a pretty girl,” she says.
“I thought we changed the subject.”
“You did,” Chip says. “My wife is going to be talking about this all week.”
“You don’t have to stay,” I say immediately, making them both laugh. “It was good to see you.”
“I’m on vacation,” she reminds me with a wink. “And I’m excited to eat at Mia’s place tonight.”
I nod and leave them, closing myself up in my bedroom. I need to think about some recipe ideas for tomorrow. I need to not think about how long Mia’s hair is, or how her curves filled out the T-shirt she was wearing. I definitely shouldn’t think about how amazing and soft her skin looked.
And when she laughs, I just can’t take my eyes off her.
Accepting this project might be the worst mistake of my life. I thought I was over her. Hell, I am over her. But not even two minutes after seeing her again I wanted to strip her naked and fuck her senseless.
The sex between us was always amazing.
But now, I have to keep my hands to myself and be professional.
I take a deep breath and then laugh at myself. How could I possibly be so attracted to a woman who left me without a backward glance ten years ago? She didn’t even say good-bye in person. She was just gone.
I need some answers to questions I’ve carried for ten years. And I’ll get them. I’ll do the show, and then I’ll move on.
Easy.
“Oh, you were right,” Steph says later that night after we’re seated at our table. “This place is beautiful.”
I nod and glance around. The lighting is low, and each table has flameless candles burning. The booths against the walls are tucked behind heavy curtains, giving couples an intimately cozy experience.
The artwork is provocative and all originals by local artists.
Just like the name of the place suggests, it’s sexy.
“It’s good that we had reservations,” Chip says.
“And it’s a Wednesday,” Steph adds. “That’s unusual.”
“Trevor says it’s like this every night,” I reply as I read the menu. It’s not a huge menu, but it’s diverse and has something for just about everyone. The waitress returns to take our order, and I decide on the swordfish.
After our meals arrive, and after just a few bites, I see Mia come out of the kitchen to take a quick trip through the dining room. She’s stopping at tables to say hello, and I assume to make sure that the food is satisfactory. She smiles at each individual person, laughs with them, and even stops to have a conversation.
“She does look great,” Steph says with a grin.
Mia’s long, dark hair is pulled up under her white chef’s hat. She’s in the white coat and dark pants, but she makes it look sexier than fuck.
“She’s okay,” I reply and smile. “If you like that sort of thing.”
“He likes that sort of thing,” she informs Chip.
“I’ll be back.”
“You’ll miss saying hello to Mia,” Steph says. “You came here to see her.”
“I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.”
Steph rolls her eyes and I stand to walk to the restroom. I don’t know why I don’t want to talk with her tonight. I’m still getting my bearings where she’s concerned, and my sister is too observant. I wanted to see her in action, and I wanted to taste her food. I didn’t know that she’d make the rounds through the dining room.
I take a quick trip to the restroom, and on my way out almost run right into Addison.
“Well, hi Camden,” she says with a big smile. “I saw your name on the reservation list. How is everything?”
“It’s great. You have a fantastic place here, Addie.”
“We do,” she agrees, nodding her head. “Is that your sister?”
I look over my shoulder, following Addie’s gaze. “Yes, that’s Stephanie and her husband Chip.”
“Mia must have said something funny.”
Both Steph and Mia are laughing loudly, their heads tossed back. Mia touches Steph’s shoulder, and that sets my teeth on edge.
“She said she doesn’t like to be touched,” I murmur.
“She’s not being touched, she’s touching. That’s different,” Addie replies and pats my shoulder. “She obviously likes your sister.”
“They’ve met before.”
Addie just nods. “She’s one of the best people I know.”
I turn my attention back to her. “My sister?”
“No, my sister. I don’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t have Mia in it. If that’s not the same as being sisters, I don’t know what is. She has her defenses up, and it’s not easy for her to trust. She’s stubborn, and she works too hard. But she’s also loyal almost to a fault, and when she loves you, she loves so completely that your life will never be the same.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“I don’t know,” she says with a shrug. “I guess I can just see the way you look at her. None of us know exactly what happened between you years ago. She doesn’t speak of it. Ever.”
I turn to look at Mia again and feel my heart pound harder.
“And she’d be pissed if she knew I was saying any of this. So, I’ll just end with this. She’s so good, Camden. And I don’t want to see her hurt.”
“Me either.”
She nods and walks away, and I stop to look at the woman in question again. She’s still talking to Steph and Chip. Her cheeks are flushed from the hot kitchen. Her blue eyes are happy. There’s one stray piece of hair that’s escaped from the back of her hat.
I want to twist that hair around my finger.
I walk back over and take my seat.
“What’s so funny?”
“Oh, nothing,” Mia says, waving me off. “How is everything?”
“This fish is a little dry.”
Her eyes narrow on me, and I can’t help but laugh. “I’m kidding. It’s delicious.”
“Be nice,” Steph says. “Why are men such shits?”
“Good question,” Mia says. “Don’t forget to call me. I’d love to chat with you.”
“Oh, I won’t forget,” Steph promises. Mia nods and moves on to the next table.
“What was that all about?”
“I’d forgotten how funny she is,” Steph says and takes a bite of her spaghetti. “This is the best red sauce I’ve ever had.”
“I thought mine was the best you’ve ever had,” I reply.
“That was befor
e I had this. Sorry.” She shrugs a shoulder. “She does look great. Maybe a little tired.”
I noticed.
“So, you’re going to call her?”
She takes another bite and then nods. “Yeah, I think I’ll see if she wants to get pedicures or something.”
“Why?”
She stares at me and then takes another bite of her food.
“Because I like her.”
I nod.
“Do you not want me to see her?”
“I don’t mind either way.”
“I think he’s lying,” she says to Chip, who’s been wise and had food in his mouth constantly through this conversation. He just shrugs one shoulder and takes another bite of his steak.
“Why would you care if I spent a couple of hours with Mia?”
“I don’t care.”
She sighs and takes a sip of wine. “I like her, Camden. We’re adults. We can be friends. There doesn’t have to be any drama.”
“Am I causing drama?” I ask Chip, who just shakes his head, still chewing.
“I have a question for you,” Steph says.
“Oh, good.” I roll my eyes and snag another piece of bread. Mia always made excellent bread.
“What do you think of her?”
“I don’t know her, remember?”
“Knowing what you do. What do you think?”
“She’s intelligent, an excellent chef—”
“Jesus H Christ, Camden, answer the fucking question.”
“She’s amazing. Is that what you want to hear? She’s a stellar chef. She’s smart and beautiful. That was never a question. I’ve known that she’s amazing for years, and seeing her today only cements that fact. What do you want from me?”
“That,” she replies with a smile. “Just that.”
I didn’t sleep much last night. That’s nothing new. I rarely sleep for longer than three hours at a time. But I didn’t sleep at all last night. I kept thinking about Mia. How she looks, what she said, how I feel about her.
I shouldn’t feel anything about her. She’s a colleague, and I’m pretty sure the statute of limitations has expired on the whole she-left-me-while-I-was-at-work-and-annulled-the-marriage thing. We were young, too young to get married. It was probably all for the best.
But I’m pulled to her in a way that has never happened to me before or since. I’m no saint. There have been women. But never one that I regretted moving on from.