I shook my head.
“Your first action as an officer was to challenge and defeat Cage in full view of the whole alliance. The division men have no need to test you, because they’ve already seen you do something that none of them dared to do themselves.”
Donnell paused. “Defeating Cage has made you popular with most of the alliance, and bringing fresh supplies of vital medicine from upriver has helped as well. If we don’t get the necessary three division leaders to vote in favour of making you deputy, then we’ll wait a month to let them get used to the idea and try again.”
“What if I tell you I don’t want to be deputy leader?”
Donnell smiled. “You spent years hiding in the shadows, but you came out of them, Blaze. You took command when I went off to my room and got drunk. You stood on a table in Reception and challenged Cage. You picked up the gun and acted as bait to trap him. I don’t believe the person who did those things wants to run away and hide in the shadows again. Even if you did, I don’t think it’s possible any longer. The situation has changed too much. People’s opinion of you has changed too much. You’ve changed too much.”
I turned to look at Marsha’s body lying on the bed. Donnell was right. I couldn’t change what my decisions had done to Marsha. I couldn’t change what they’d done to me either. I couldn’t take the gun from my arm and give it to someone else. I was Armed and there was no going back.
Chapter Thirty-five
“How could you do something so stupid?” Tad couldn’t quite manage a full blown yell yet, but he was getting remarkably close to it for someone who’d been dying only yesterday. “I can’t possibly get you to Zeus now you’ve got that gun on your arm, and there’s no way to remove it without killing you.”
“I was never going to leave Earth anyway,” I said, in my best soothing voice. “You knew that.”
“I thought there was still a chance you might change your mind. Now you can’t. To make matters even worse, you’re looking deliriously happy about it.”
“I’m not exactly happy right now,” I said. “I keep thinking that Marsha would be alive if I’d handled the situation better. I’m aware things could be far worse though.”
I leaned back in my chair, and looked round the hospital room. All three of the off-worlders were lying in bed. Tad had his eyes open and was glaring at me. Braden had his eyes shut, but judging from his pained expression was still awake. Phoenix was deep in healing sleep, and genuinely oblivious to everything around her. After her long battle for her life, her body was finally getting the rest it needed to recover.
“You’re going to live to go to Zeus and save civilization,” I said. “Phoenix’s breathing started improving before I had to cut her throat. Things could be far, far worse.”
“For the tenth time, an emergency tracheotomy is very different from cutting someone’s throat,” croaked Tad, “and you may be pleased about the fact I’ll have to go to Zeus and leave you behind on Earth, but I’m not!”
During the ordeal of waiting to see if the new medicine would save Tad and Phoenix, I’d desperately bargained with fate, pleading that Tad would live and promising I’d say farewell to him with a smile when he left to go off world. I smiled now.
“Things were always going to end that way for us. You should be grateful that I’ve got the gun. Without it, Cage would have murdered both of us by now.”
“Well, I’m not grateful,” said Tad. “In fact, I’m distinctly ungrateful. If I was strong enough to stand up, I’d be tempted to murder you myself and …”
The door opened and Donnell came in. “I see the mouth is talking again. I suppose that’s good news. I’m hoping to trade him for at least a dozen chickens when we get to Fence, but we’ll have to leave fast before they find out how much he talks or they’ll want us to pay them to take him.”
Tad frowned. “I don’t talk that much, and I wish you’d stop estimating my value in chickens.”
“You never talk for more than twenty-four hours in a single day,” said Donnell cheerfully. “Blaze, we have to go to the alliance leadership meeting now.”
I gave him a startled look. “I wasn’t expecting you to call a meeting so quickly.”
“Wall knows about your gun, so it’s vital we tell the other division leaders you have it before the news leaks out by accident.”
I felt we could trust Wall to keep the secret of my gun, but Luther might start shouting about it in a public fit of anger, so Donnell was right to call a meeting right away.
“There’s no need to worry about leaving the mouth and his friends,” added Donnell. “Nadira will be here in a minute to take care of them, and I’ve got four men outside to stand guard while you’re away. We’re only going up to the third floor of Sanctuary, so we can get back here fast if there are any problems.”
What he meant was that we’d still be in the tracking range of our guns, so we could keep an eye on the situation while we were upstairs.
A moment later, Nadira arrived. I stood up and smiled at Tad.
“Try to keep quiet while I’m away. Your throat needs the rest, and I expect Braden would like to get some sleep.”
“I would,” said Braden, in a weary voice.
Tad gave a depressed grunt, and I followed Donnell out of the room. We met his other officers, including a subdued-looking Julien, over by the main Sanctuary staircase, and climbed it to reach the third floor. We went into the largest of the conference rooms there, and I saw five long tables arranged to form a ring, with a row of eight chairs at each of them.
Donnell went across to the table marked with the blue planet, sat in one of the two central chairs, and gestured for me to sit at his right side. Machico took the chair on Donnell’s left, and everyone else sat down as well. I checked my gun tracking display, saw the four dots that were Nadira and the off-worlders in their hospital room, and the four dots of the guards outside. Everything looked peaceful down there, and I’d get an alert from my gun if anyone else approached them.
“I don’t think a dramatic unveiling of your gun will help matters, Blaze,” said Donnell. “It’s best if everyone sees it as they arrive, so you’d better stop clutching that blanket now.”
“Oh.” I looked down at the blanket I’d been carrying over my arm, and hastily shoved it under my chair. Sitting with my hands resting on my lap would mean the lights of the gun were half hidden by the table. I tried resting my hands on the table instead, but felt horribly self-conscious.
I was experimenting with linking my fingers together, trying to work out if that would make me look more relaxed or not, when the door opened. Ice entered with a group of men I knew well from my days with London division. Ice casually nodded at Donnell, then froze as he saw the black tendrils of the gun hugging my bare right arm, its lights flashing peacefully in standby mode.
Ice stood there staring at me for a few seconds longer, then moved to the London table, but didn’t sit down. His men gathered round him in an urgent murmured conference. I couldn’t tell much from their shocked faces, and barely a minute later the scene was being repeated as Brooklyn division arrived, and then Queens Island.
Manhattan division came in a few minutes after everyone else. Wall led his party to their table, and they all instantly sat down. I guessed that Wall had warned his men about my gun before bringing them to this meeting. That way Manhattan division could look calm and controlled while everyone else was in confusion.
I hoped Donnell would start the meeting now, but instead he let everyone continue their discussions. I had to endure another ten minutes of furtive stares before the deputation from London division sat down, followed a minute later by Brooklyn and Queens Island.
Donnell stood up. “You’ve all seen Blaze is wearing a gun. I’ve been keeping this gun in my safe for decades. I intended to give it to my son when he was eighteen. You know why that didn’t happen. Now my daughter is eighteen, and I’ve given it to her instead. Any questions?”
Over at the Brooklyn divi
sion table, Ghost stood up. “There aren’t any more guns hidden away in your safe?”
“No,” said Donnell. “This was the last one.”
Ghost sat down and Major stood up. “Queens Island calls for closed session. Do I have a second?”
“London seconds,” Ice called out.
“We have a vote for closed session,” said Donnell. “All in favour?” He lifted his hand and so did all four division leaders. “Carried.”
Donnell and the division leaders stood up and went out of the room. I looked after them in bewilderment. “What’s going on?”
Machico grinned at me. “Donnell needs to bring his deputy and officers to the alliance leadership meetings to make sure they’re kept fully informed of events. That means each division leader insists on bringing all their seven alliance representatives as well to maintain their status, but they’re never entirely sure they can trust them. Whenever there’s anything controversial to discuss, the leaders insist on going off to have a private huddle with Donnell. That way they don’t have to worry about their own men misquoting something to other members of their division.”
I shook my head. “That’s ridiculous.”
“That’s politics and power play.” Machico yawned and closed his eyes. “We could have a long wait.”
Over at the other tables, people were standing up and moving into groups to start animated whispered conversations. At our table, Vijay and Weston started discussing a new comedy routine. Aaron leaned back in his chair, and gazed peacefully up at the ceiling. Julien and Luther were talking in such low voices that I couldn’t hear a word they were saying.
I stared out of the window at the falling snow. Despite the dangerous weather conditions, Manhattan division had had search parties out looking for Cage for several hours today. They’d probably still be out there if Donnell hadn’t called this meeting.
Luther’s voice suddenly got a lot louder. “Don’t start preaching to me, Julien!”
“Behave yourselves, children.” Machico didn’t even open his eyes, let alone turn his head to look at them. “You know the rules. No arguing in front of the division members.”
Luther shut up, and pointedly turned his back on Julien. Thirty seconds later, the door opened, Donnell and the four division leaders came in and went to their seats, and everyone else hurriedly sat down as well. Once everyone was settled, Donnell stood up again and started talking.
“I’ve been asked whether my giving a gun to Blaze has implications for the vacant deputy post. The answer is that it does. I’m now formally proposing Blaze as my new deputy.” Donnell paused for a moment. “The alliance rules state that my choice of deputy must be confirmed by at least three other division leaders. We’ll now break for group consultations before returning to vote.”
The four division groups promptly stood up and headed out of the room, presumably heading for smaller meeting rooms where they could talk freely in private. I prepared to suffer another long period of boredom mixed with a particularly strange kind of suspense. I was nervous about the vote, but still unsure whether I wanted to win or lose it.
As the door closed behind the other divisions, Luther jumped to his feet and turned to glare at Donnell. “You should be giving the deputy position to me, not Blaze. My father was your deputy for three decades!”
I winced. Apparently I wasn’t going to suffer from boredom after all.
Donnell leaned back lazily in his chair and smiled at Luther. “That doesn’t mean you automatically inherit his position.”
“You mean I can’t inherit my father’s position, but your daughter can inherit yours!” said Luther. “This is Seamus all over again, isn’t it? You made your son an officer, started talking about him succeeding you as alliance leader, and we all know what happened next. Now you’re repeating your mistake with Blaze.”
Donnell didn’t seem annoyed by Luther’s words, but I was furious. I reminded myself that shooting Luther would give people a bad impression of me.
“It wasn’t just Donnell who made the mistake about Seamus,” said Aaron.
“Yes, it was!” said Luther.
“No, it wasn’t!” Aaron stood up and turned to face him. “You were a child back then, Luther. I was already an officer, and in the alliance leadership meeting where it all happened. Yes, it was clear Donnell was thinking of Seamus succeeding him as leader one day, but it was the division leaders that pushed him into making Seamus an officer when he was only sixteen.”
“I don’t believe that,” said Luther.
“Whether your lordship believes it or not,” said Vijay, “it’s perfectly true.”
I saw Donnell glance at Machico, who gave an almost imperceptible nod in return. I realized they were deliberately letting this situation develop.
“People were already worried about the future leadership,” said Weston. “The arrival of London division had meant hasty adjustments that annoyed a lot of people. The Resistance itself was in disorder, trying to merge the London and New York members. It was blatantly obvious to everyone that the only thing holding the alliance together was the sheer force of Donnell’s personality. One of his original officers had just died, so everyone was disturbingly well aware that Donnell wasn’t immortal either.”
“Then Seamus and Blaze walked into that alliance leadership meeting,” said Vijay. “They were there for less than two minutes, only appearing as part of the discussion about them moving from London division to the Resistance, but after they walked out of the door everyone started talking at once. Seamus looked exactly like Donnell, so we all leapt at the idea that he was exactly like Donnell. The boy was the answer to our problems, a walking symbol of our future security, and had to be made an officer straight away as preparation for him taking Donnell’s place one day.”
I frowned. Seamus and I had never appeared at an alliance leadership meeting. Or had we? My memories of my first few days in New York were a confused blur. I vaguely remembered something about a room full of people staring at me.
Vijay turned to look at Aaron. “You were only a few years older than Seamus back then, and got to know him better than the rest of us. Did you have any suspicions that the boy would betray us?”
“Chaos, no,” said Aaron. “I was just like everyone else, falling at Seamus’s feet and worshipping him.”
Luther shrugged. “So you were all fooled by Seamus. Doesn’t that make it even more obvious it’s a mistake to appoint Blaze as deputy alliance leader?”
“Oh, stop whining, Luther,” said Julien. “Donnell needs a new deputy. We all know that deputy has to be one of you, me, Aaron, and Blaze, because Vijay, Weston and Machico are too old.”
“Ouch,” said Weston. “I’m hurt. Are you hurt by that, Vijay?”
“Stabbed to the heart.” Vijay wiped away imaginary tears from his eyes. “I may never recover.”
Julien ignored them. “Blaze hasn’t been getting any special treatment for being Donnell’s daughter. Quite the opposite, in fact. After the way we were fooled by her brother, everyone was suspicious of Blaze.”
He stabbed his right forefinger in Luther’s direction. “It’s you that’s had everything handed to you on a golden plate. Your mother adored you, your father adored you, and Donnell thought the world of Kasim so he adored you too, but look how you behaved on the roof.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong on the roof,” said Luther.
“You didn’t do anything wrong because you didn’t do anything at all,” said Julien.
“You can’t criticize me when you were the one causing all the trouble!” Luther loomed over him, clenching his fists.
“Oh yes.” Julien stood up so rapidly that he knocked his chair over. “I was the one who caused all the trouble. I proved I was a clueless hothead who couldn’t control his temper, while you showed yourself totally useless in a crisis. It was Blaze who took charge of everything. The only one who has any right to complain at Blaze being made deputy is Aaron.”
“I’ve no rig
ht to complain,” said Aaron, in a strangely bitter voice. “We all watched as Blaze brought down Cage. We all saw her do what any one of us could have done months ago if we’d had the courage.”
Aaron suddenly swung round so his next words were aimed directly at me. “Manhattan division invited us to search their wing of the building to prove that Cage wasn’t hiding there. We found his hoard of medicine. When I think that I could have accused him myself months ago, I hate myself.”
He gave a despairing shake of his head. “I’d heard some of the things Cage had done, but I didn’t say a word to anyone. I was scared what might happen to my wife and daughter if I talked. I kept quiet to protect them, and it was the worst decision of my life. If I’d done something back then, if those medicines had been found back then, my wife could be alive right now!”
“I still think Manhattan division knew all about those medicines,” said Luther. “They’ve only admitted their existence now, because we’ve got that huge supply of medicine from upriver, so there’s plenty for everyone.”
“If you think Manhattan division knew Cage had those medicines hidden away, then it proves your total lack of judgement,” said Julien. “They lost children to the winter fever, including one of Wall’s own nephews. If they catch Cage, then I don’t think there’s going to be a hanging. Wall will just rip his heart out with his bare hands.”
“And I’ll cheer while he does it,” said Aaron.
Donnell and Machico had been silently sitting and watching this. I’d stayed quiet too, because it seemed a bad idea to get involved in an angry argument about my own fitness for being Donnell’s deputy. Now Machico finally spoke.
“Entertaining though it is watching you children bicker, I suggest you all sit down now. The divisions will be coming back soon.”
Julien and Aaron came back to their seats. Luther didn’t.
Donnell sighed. “You can criticize me as much as you like in private, Luther, but it’s essential we appear united in public. Sit down.”