The creature bellowed and took a step back, and its foot found nothing but emptiness. Skulduggery pushed away from it as it balanced there for a single moment, but there was nothing it could do to save itself. Skulduggery stumbled backward as the beast fell into the abyss with a terrified howl.
“Right, then,” Skulduggery said as he dusted himself off. “That took care of that.”
“I think I’m moving,” Stephanie said as she felt herself being pulled gently up. Skulduggery stepped to the edge, his head jutting out slightly, curiously, then—
“Stephanie,” he said, “that’s not a vine.”
“What?” Stephanie said, staring at the thing she was holding. “Then what is it?”
“Stephanie, swing toward me,” he said, urgency in his voice. “Come on now, swing toward me. Hurry!”
She kicked out, starting the swing, forward and back, each arc bigger then the last, all the time being pulled gently upward.
“Let go!” Skulduggery said, holding his arms out to catch her. She glanced below her as she swung, remembered the beast’s howl as it fell, wondered if it had hit the bottom yet; and when she was at the peak of her next swing she released her grip and was in the air, falling forward, falling toward Skulduggery.
But the vine snapped out like a whip, wrapping itself around her wrist and yanking her back painfully. Skulduggery made a grab for her but missed, and Stephanie was speeding upward.
“Help me!” she screamed, feeling like her arm was about to be yanked from its socket. She heard Skulduggery curse, but she was moving too fast and there was nothing she could do to stop herself from being pulled up, and Skulduggery could only watch her vanish into the darkness above.
Twenty-two
THE SCEPTER OF THE ANCIENTS
STEPHANE WAS PULLED up to a ledge, then dragged over it. She tried tearing the tentacle from her wrist, but more slithered from the gloom, wrapping tightly around her arm. She reached back with her free hand and grabbed the ledge, but it was no use. Her fingers couldn’t take the strain and she had to let go, and she started sliding across the slimy rock.
There was something up ahead, a gray mass of flesh, a growth that had spread unchecked and unchallenged in this dark little corner. The tentacles were pulling her toward its center, where a large mouth gaped hungrily, razor teeth dripping with viscous saliva.
Her free hand found a large stone and she grabbed it, holding the sharp edge out as she would a dagger, and she brought it down hard. The stone cut through the tentacles, and she pulled her arm free and was up, running, but more tentacles flexed and shot out. They found her legs and Stephanie hit the ground. She tried to kick out, but they tightened.
There were tentacles everywhere.
The thing, whatever it was, beat with a sickly pulse as it dragged her closer. She couldn’t see any eyes. All it had was its tentacles, and that mouth. … Which meant it operated by its sense of touch.
Stephanie forced herself to stop struggling. Fighting against every instinct within her, she relaxed her body, and although the speed at which she was moving didn’t change, she felt its grip on her loosen slightly. The other tentacles stopped their approach, but they were already too close. They’d be on her in an instant if she tried to pull away.
Stephanie lobbed the stone, and it hit a tentacle and bounced away. Sensing another victim nearby, the remaining tentacles slithered after it, searching blindly through the shadows. Stephanie took a deep breath and reached for her ankles, waited until the grip was loosened further, and then grabbed the tentacles and ripped them away.
She got up, but instead of running away, she ran forward, toward the thing with the mouth. She leaped onto it, over its gaping maw, and her boot almost slipped on its wet, quivering flesh. She jumped, her hands catching the ledge overhead. She hauled herself up as the tentacles snapped and coiled below, their movements becoming more and more frenzied as the thing searched for its missing prey.
Stephanie didn’t stop to rest. She got to her feet and hurried from the ledge into the gloom of the passage beyond. She fought off the sudden fear that she’d be lost down in these caves forever. It won’t be forever, she chided herself. If one of the monsters doesn’t find me and kill me, I’ll die of thirst anyway within a few days.
Stephanie couldn’t quite believe she’d just thought that.
Pushing all fears and doubts and pessimistic—though probably realistic—thoughts to the back of her mind, she slowed her pace and concentrated on finding a way back to Skulduggery. And then she saw a light.
She crept forward until she came to a balcony of rock overlooking a small cavern. She peeked down to see a half dozen Hollow Men, one of them holding a lantern. Mr. Bliss didn’t appear to have accompanied this little expedition. Serpine was there, however, standing in front of a small boulder, its surface flat like a table. On this boulder was a wooden chest with a large lock. Her heart lurched. He’d found it.
She looked down. It wasn’t that far to the cavern floor. She didn’t have a choice. She had to try.
The Hollow Men had their backs to her, so Stephanie eased herself over the edge without being noticed and dropped to the cavern floor. The light from the lantern didn’t reach this far, so the shadows enveloped her, and when one of the Hollow Men turned, its empty gaze passed right over the spot where she crouched. She waited until it had turned back before moving again.
The darkness along the edges of this cavern was so absolute, and her clothes so black, that she could creep up next to her enemies without being seen. She moved achingly slowly, taking only the barest of breaths. She was sure Serpine would hear her heart thundering against her rib cage, but he was preoccupied with the chest.
She watched him tap the lock with a skinless finger of his red right hand, and the mechanism rusted and snapped in an instant. He smiled as he pulled on his glove, opened the chest, and lifted the Scepter of the Ancients from within.
It was real. The ultimate weapon, the weapon with which the Ancients had defeated their gods—it was real. The years hadn’t dimmed its golden beauty, and it seemed to hum for a moment, acclimatizing itself to its new owner. The ultimate weapon, in the hands of Serpine.
“At last,” she heard him whisper.
A strange singing filled the chamber, and she realized it was coming from the black crystal in the Scepter. Serpine turned as Skulduggery Pleasant stormed into the cavern.
Skulduggery waved his hand and the Hollow Men flew back off their feet. He crashed into Serpine and the Scepter clattered to the ground. Serpine threw a punch but Skulduggery ducked under it and moved in close, his hand snaking up to Serpine’s shoulder and his hip twisting into him. Serpine pitched over and hit the cavern floor—hard.
Stephanie crept through the murk, heading for the Scepter. The Hollow Men were starting to get up, clumping back to fight at the center of the cavern.
Skulduggery clicked his fingers. Serpine was too close to dodge the fireball; it hit him square in the chest and enveloped him completely. The Hollow Men froze as their master wheeled about, engulfed in flame. His foot hit the Scepter, and it skidded to the edge of the light.
Closer to Stephanie.
Skulduggery splayed his hand and Serpine hit the far wall and collapsed to the floor. Skulduggery put out the flames with a casual wave. Serpine lay where he was, his clothes smoldering, his flesh charred and horribly burned.
“It’s over,” Skulduggery said. “This is where your past catches up to you. This is where you die.”
And then, impossibly, a laugh, and Serpine sat up.
“That,” he said, “hurt.”
And as Stephanie watched, the burned flesh started to heal itself and hair regrew along the blistered scalp, leaving not even a scar.
Serpine gathered purple vapor in his palm and threw it at Skulduggery, knocking him back. The vapor became a thin, snaking tendril that darted into the shadows, wrapping around the Scepter and yanking it into Serpine’s hand just as Stephanie reached for it. Skul
duggery recovered, but he was too late to do anything. The sorcerer got to his feet, holding the Scepter, and smiled.
“I’m of two minds,” Serpine said as Stephanie moved, unseen, behind him. “Should I use this to destroy you, to reduce your worthless bones to ash, or should I just leave you down here in the darkness? Leaving you here would be more satisfying in the long term, I admit, but what can I say? I crave instant satisfaction. I’m shallow like that.”
Stephanie lunged, slamming her shoulder into Serpine’s back just as the Scepter’s crystal flashed. Black lightning zigzagged through the air, missing Skulduggery by inches and turning the rock behind him to dust. Serpine turned and grabbed her. Stephanie punched him with all her strength, but he just snarled, and then Skulduggery was there and the air rippled. Serpine went sliding across the cavern floor, but he was still clutching the Scepter.
Skulduggery waved at the Hollow Men and they hurtled backward; then Stephanie felt his gloved hand close around her wrist and she was dragged out of the cavern. Skulduggery sprinted so fast that she just allowed herself to be carried along in his wake.
He knew exactly where he was going, and within minutes they were at the stone steps, hurrying up out of the caves. They reached the cellar, and the key flew from the lock into his hand. The floor groaned and rumbled and closed up.
“Will that hold him?” Stephanie asked.
“He’s got the Scepter,” Skulduggery said. “Nothing will hold him.”
As if to prove his point, the floor started to crack.
“Move!” Skulduggery shouted. They bolted up the stairs, and Stephanie glanced back just as the floor vanished in a soft whump of dust and air.
They plunged out of the house, the Hollow Men right behind. Stephanie was three steps from the Canary Car when one of the Hollow Men grabbed her.
Stephanie lashed out. Her fingers tore into its face, and she ripped downward and a blast of foul air escaped. The Hollow Man stumbled back, clutching at its head. Its entire body deflated, until it was nothing more than papery skin being trodden on by its brethren.
Another lunged at her and Skulduggery tackled it, rammed an elbow into the side of its neck, and flipped it over his shoulder. There was movement to their right, and Tanith Low ran toward them, her sword clearing its scabbard. She came in fast, the blade twirling and glinting in the sun, sending pieces of Hollow Men fluttering into the air like confetti.
Black lightning streaked from the doorway and the Canary Car crumbled to nothing, and Serpine stalked out of the house. Stephanie felt heat flare beside her face as Skulduggery started hurling fireballs. Serpine waved the first one away and dodged back to avoid the others.
Stephanie was aware of the other car only when it screeched to a stop behind her. The door opened and Tanith sheathed her sword, pushed Stephanie into the car, and jumped in after her, and the car was moving again.
Stephanie sat up in time to see Skulduggery hurl one last ball of fire and then turn and dive straight through the open car window. He landed on top of her as the car swerved, and she felt his elbow against her head. The car swerved again and they separated. Trees zipped past outside, and she knew they were out of Serpine’s line of fire.
They passed the huge gates that led out of Gordon’s estate, and Skulduggery righted himself. “Well,” he said, “that was bracing.”
A familiar voice came from the front seat. “One of these days I won’t be around to get you out of trouble, you know.”
Stephanie turned her head, saw the man in the bow-tie behind the wheel and, beside him, in the passenger seat, China Sorrows, poised and perfect.
“I don’t know what you’d do without me, Skulduggery,” China said. “I really don’t.”
Twenty-three
THOUGHTS ON DYING HORRIBLY
THE ELDERS WERE not happy.
Eachan Meritorious and Sagacious Tome spoke in hushed voices at the other end of the Sanctuary meeting room. Meritorious was calm but solemn. Tome was livid and panicking.
Stephanie sat beside Skulduggery. Across the table, Tanith was cleaning her sword. She had something in her hair.
“Tanith?” Stephanie whispered. Tanith looked up. “You have something …” She pointed to her own head as a hint. “It’s a leaf, or something.”
“Oh, thanks,” Tanith said, and put her hand to her hair. She felt around until she found it and pulled it out. She examined it and frowned, looking closer; then her face contorted in disgust and she dropped it onto the table. “Oh my God.”
“What is it?”
“It’s a piece of Hollow Man skin.”
Stephanie blanched. “Oh, that’s disgusting.”
“It was in my hair,” Tanith moaned, flicking the skin across the table.
Stephanie recoiled and flicked it back and Tanith started to laugh, but Skulduggery’s hand came down, trapping it. He looked at them both.
“Four-year-olds,” he said. “We’re facing an unimaginable crisis and I’m dealing with four-year-olds.”
“Sorry,” said Stephanie.
“Sorry,” said Tanith.
Morwenna Crow and China Sorrows walked in, followed seconds later by Ghastly Bespoke.
“Did they find anything?” Skulduggery asked, standing.
Morwenna answered. “The Cleavers have stormed every hideout and haunt we know of, and they haven’t found one trace of Serpine.”
“The news about the Scepter is spreading,” China said. “There are rumors that he is bringing his old allies in from the cold.”
Meritorious and Tome joined them.
“If even one of the exiles returns,” Meritorious said, “the balance of power will have shifted too much. We’ll be overrun.”
“We need to get that Scepter from him,” Tanith said, “see how he likes it.”
“It wouldn’t work,” China said. “Even if we could get close to it without the crystal warning him that we’re near, he owns it now, and no one else can use it while he’s alive.”
“Then we kill him,” Tome said.
Meritorious looked to Skulduggery, who nodded and spoke up. “Unfortunately, killing Serpine is not as easy as it may appear. He should be dead right now. I don’t mean wounded, I don’t mean dying, I mean dead. But he healed himself.”
Stephanie frowned. “He can’t be killed?”
“Everyone can be killed,” Skulduggery said, turning his head to her slightly. “That’s the one great assurance. I haven’t encountered one thing on this planet that I haven’t been able to kill, and I’m not going to let him be the exception to the rule.”
“We need to strike now,” Morwenna said, “before he can consolidate his power.”
“How can we do that if we don’t even know where he is?” Sagacious Tome asked impatiently.
“But we might know where he was,” Skulduggery said. “Last night I received a call from a gentleman who supplies me with information from time to time. A distinctive silver car was seen on Denholm Street, near the docks. I made a call or two, established that almost every building on that street is being leased by a reputable firm. The one exception is a warehouse that has been leased to an individual, Mr. Howard L. Craft.”
Tome frowned. “So?”
“L. Craft. Lovecraft. Howard Philip Lovecraft wrote a series of stories commonly referred to as the Cthulhu Mythos, about dark gods who wanted to rule the Earth. Some historians claim that Mr. Lovecraft based his creations, in part, on legends he had heard about the Faceless Ones.”
Tome grimaced. “That’s your only lead? A trick name Serpine may have used? We don’t have time to be wasting on such vague half clues; we’ve got to act on what we know!”
“Well, what exactly do we know?” Morwenna asked. “We know he has a lunatic scheme to bring back the Faceless Ones, but we don’t know how he intends to do it.”
“Mr. Bliss said the Scepter was nothing more than a stepping-stone,” Stephanie offered.
“This is a grown-up conversation,” Tome said, exasperated. ?
??We don’t need input from you, child.”
Tanith and China spoke as one. “Don’t call her ‘child.’”
Clearly unused to admonitions from anyone who wasn’t an Elder, Tome spluttered a bit, and his face grew redder. Stephanie did her best to hide her grin behind a mask of serene indifference. Tanith caught her eye and winked.
“If the Scepter is a stepping-stone,” Skulduggery said, ignoring Tome’s indignation, “then he’s going to use it to somehow retrieve the ritual he needs.”
“Then it’s our job to make sure that doesn’t happen,” Meritorious said. “Skulduggery, on behalf of the Council of Elders, I apologize for not involving you in this when we found Serpine’s surveillance team dead. I also apologize for not listening to your warnings.”
“Serpine would have had a backup plan,” Skulduggery said. “That’s what makes him so dangerous.”
“Maybe. I’m afraid it’s up to you and Miss Cain, and whoever else you might need, to try to find out what his next move is. I’m sorry for saddling you with that responsibility, but my fellow Elders and I are needed to prepare for all-out war.”
Skulduggery bowed slightly. “In that case, we’ll get right on it.”
“Thank you.”
Skulduggery wrapped the scarf around his face and put on his hat, then looked at the serious faces around him. “Cheer up, everyone,” he said, a new brightness to his voice. “Since we’re all going to die horribly anyway, what’s there to be worried about?”
Stephanie very much feared she was going ever so slightly insane, because she found herself agreeing wholeheartedly with the living skeleton she was now following out of the room.
The Bentley was waiting for them when they left the Sanctuary. It gleamed like it was glad to be back to its former beauty. Stephanie got in and sank into the seat. The Bentley smelled nice. It smelled how beautiful cars ought to smell. The Canary Car hadn’t smelled nice. It had just smelled yellow.