John drove through Tess and Logan’s front gates. Instead of the deserted front yard he’d expected to see, Logan was busy unpacking their SUV. He’d thought Logan and Tess were visiting family over Christmas, but something must have happened to change their plans.
John parked his truck beside the garage. “Need a hand?”
Logan put one of the suitcases on the ground. “You might want to reconsider that offer. News travels fast.”
“You know?” John wondered how many other people knew about the problems he’d been having with Oracom. Logan must have found out through his newspaper buddies. It was a small world, and even smaller when you were a reporter. He pulled a suitcase out of the back of the SUV.
“Of course I know,” Logan said with a glare in his direction. “Rachel was in tears in the kitchen. The whole house smells of cookies, and Tess said Rachel only bakes lots of things when she’s stressed or worried about something.”
“She doesn’t need to worry. She’s safe now. No one is going to hurt her.”
“Including you?”
John frowned. “What do you mean? I’d never hurt Rachel. As far as I’m aware, the ringleaders from Oracom are behind bars. The Department of Justice is trying to extradite them to the US to face criminal charges.”
Logan looked at him blankly. “I have no idea who Oracom is.”
John backtracked through their conversation. “Rachel was in tears?”
“Yeah. Maybe you should talk to her? Do you want to tell me about Oracom first?”
“I can’t. Give Dan Carter a call.” He was surprised when Logan didn’t pull his phone out and call the Chief of Police straight away.
John picked up two suitcases and walked toward Logan’s house. Before he took them inside, he wiped the snow off his boots.
“John? What are you doing here?” Rachel was standing in the hallway. The smile he was so used to seeing was nowhere in sight.
“I came to see you.” Something was wrong. He didn’t know how he’d expected her to react after last night, but it was nothing like this. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she was trying really hard to avoid looking at him.
“I guess you’ve found me. You can leave Tess and Logan’s suitcases in the entrance.”
John put the cases down. “Can we talk?”
Rachel took a deep breath and nodded. “Sure. What do you want to talk about?”
He looked around the entranceway. “Not here. The snow has stopped falling. Do you want to go for a walk?”
Again, there was a hesitation, something that wasn’t right. “I’ll get my jacket. It’s in my room.” She walked upstairs and disappeared from sight.
John waited where he was. If Rachel regretted what had happened, he’d feel like an idiot revisiting the place where they’d made love. Maybe that was it. Maybe she wished that last night had never happened.
By the time he’d worked out what could be wrong, she was coming back down the stairs.
“Let’s go.” Rachel had wrapped a bright red scarf around her neck and zipped her jacket up to her chin. She walked one step ahead of him, avoiding anything that might be considered a conversation.
He opened the front door and breathed in the cold morning air. “Tess and Logan are home early.”
“They caught an earlier plane home.”
John stood on the porch, looking at the front yard. Tess and Logan owned a big property. Even from the street, the landscaped grounds and two-story home looked impressive. But he wasn’t here to admire the scenery. He’d come to update Rachel on what had happened.
He followed her out of the house, worried about what would come next. “Dan Carter saw me this morning. The people responsible for the death threats have been arrested. The Department of Justice is trying to bring them to Washington DC for a trial.”
Rachel stopped walking and turned around. “That’s great news. You must be relieved?”
“I am.” He didn’t feel relieved. Not at the moment. “You won’t need to have a bodyguard. I’ll reassign Tank and Tanner to other projects tomorrow.”
She nodded. “It will make it easier for Bella when she starts school.”
“What’s wrong, Rachel?”
She stuck her hands in her pockets and looked toward the street. “You left while I was asleep.”
“We talked about that. I needed to be home before Bella woke up.” He looked at her face. “Do you regret what happened last night?”
Rachel glanced at him. “What did happen?”
He had a feeling that the answer to her question wasn’t as straightforward as he thought. “I don’t regret one minute of last night. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you I was leaving, but you were sound asleep.”
Rachel bit her bottom lip. “Do you want us to see each other again?”
A sinking feeling hit him in the center of his chest. “Did you think last night was a one night stand?”
“I don’t know what it was. I don’t…”
“Sleep around? But you thought I did?” His voice echoed around them. He took a deep breath and tried to control his pounding heart. “The only woman I’ve ever slept with, before you, was Jacinta. I don’t sleep around. I never have. If you thought I had, you don’t know me very well.”
“And whose fault is that? You keep your feelings to yourself so much that I don’t know what’s going through your head. When Bella went missing, you were quick to judge me. You couldn’t stand the sight of me. Then last night, everything just exploded and we ended up together. And then you left. I don’t know what’s going on.”
“I can’t afford to tell people how I feel. The last time I did that, I ended up on the front page of a newspaper. I own a successful company and I have a lot of people that rely on me. I can’t afford to make mistakes.”
Rachel’s eyes opened wide. “You think I’m a mistake?”
“No. That didn’t come out right…”
“I think it came out perfectly right. And if that’s the way you feel then I guess I’ve answered my own question.”
“What question?”
Rachel threw her hands in the air. “I don’t believe you. For some hotshot in the security industry, you know nothing about people.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about us.” Rachel took a step toward him and lowered her voice. “I want to know if last night meant anything to you?”
He stuck his hands in his pockets. “Of course it meant something.”
“What did it mean?”
“It meant that we’re friends. That I care about you. Isn’t that enough?”
Rachel looked up at the sky, then back at him. “I care about Tank and Tanner, but I wouldn’t sleep with them.”
John knew what she wanted to hear, but he couldn’t say the words. “I’m not ready to be in a relationship with anyone.”
“Why did you sleep with me, then?” Her eyes filled with tears and he felt like a complete jerk.
“I thought you understood. Everything I do affects Bella. I haven’t got time to be part of someone else’s life. It doesn’t mean that last night wasn’t amazing, because it was.”
“That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.” Rachel pulled a tissue out of her pocket and blew her nose. “You’ve forgotten what it feels like to love someone. You’re so busy making money that you think it can replace what’s missing in your life.” She straightened her shoulders. “I’m going back inside to help Tess. Say hello to Bella and thank her for the present. I’ll see her at school.”
“Rachel, wait.” She didn’t stop, so he walked beside her. “I don’t know what you want.”
“Yes, you do,” she said sadly. “You’ve known all along, but you’re too scared to do anything about it. Have a good life, John.” She put her head down and walked quickly back to the house.
John watched her walk away. Before he’d come here, he’d thought everything was okay. But it wasn’t, and