*****
"I'm sorry I was late honey but we had an emergency at the mine. A couple of the men were overcome by methane gas. We had to take them to the hospital. I hope you weren't scared,” he said.
"I was a little bit,” I said.
I noticed a pretty lady standing behind Daddy so I smiled at her–figuring she was Agnus. Daddy suddenly realized he hadn't introduced his new wife to me so he said, “Sarah, this is your stepmother, Agnus.”
"Hi Sarah, I am glad you made it here safely. Now come along, we've got a long trip back home.”
Her abrupt attitude disturbed me. I was expecting a little warmer welcome from my new mother, you know. We went to the baggage claim area, got my luggage and then walked to Daddy's truck. It was cold and rainy when we set out for Juneau.
"Well Sarah, how was your flight?” Agnus asked.
"A little bumpy. The pilot said we flew over a big storm.”
"Did they feed you, honey?” Daddy asked.
"No.'
"I bet you’re famished,” he said. “We'll stop in Juneau and get some pizza.”
"Oh, goody. I love pizza.”
"I know. I remember. . . . Pepperoni, right?”
"Uh huh, with lotsa cheese.”
"No problemo, my little princess,” Daddy said in his best Italian accent. Then his eyes lit up. “Oh, and do we have a great surprise for you.”
"What is it?” I asked.
"There's going to be a big 4th of July parade in Juneau today. It should be starting about the time we arrive.'
"Oh, neat.”
"And after the parade how would you like to go see some eagles?”
"We don't have time to see the eagles today,” Agnus complained. “We need to get back to the house and get Sarah situated.'
Daddy sighed. "Agnus is right. We’ll do that another time and I'm also going to show you the humpback whales and some grizzly bears, okay?”
"Oh boy! That will be cool,” I said excitedly.
"Alaska is full of cool stuff, I know you'll love it here.”
"I will, I know I will, Daddy. I'm so glad you sent for me.”
"I know. I've been a terrible father, but I'm going to make it up to you. I promise.”
"I watched Daddy for a moment trying to determine how he had changed since the last time I saw him. He seemed thinner, a few more gray hairs, but other than that he was just as I had remembered. I laid back against the seat. My mind was racing and I was having trouble relaxing. Suddenly I thought of my room. “Hey Daddy, am I really going to have my own room?”
"Yes ma'am. We built an extra room just for you, didn't we Agnus?”
"Yes, and I hope you appreciate it, young lady. It's costing your father forty dollars a month to pay for it,” Agnus said.
Daddy frowned at Agnus. He said, “That's nothing she needs to hear about.”
"She should know so she'll appreciate what you're doing for her.”
"You didn't have to build me a room. I could have slept on the sofa like I did at Grandma's.”
"Nonsense, you're getting too old for a sofa," Daddy said. "You need a room of your own where you can have a little privacy.”
"Thank you, Daddy . . . and you too, Agnus, for letting me come live with you. I'm so happy.”
"We're happy too, honey. Aren't we, Agnus?”
"Sure, but you've got to understand, Sarah, this isn't going to be a picnic. There's going to be lots of work to do and everyone's got to do their share. Your father has a lot of responsibility being a foreman. He works long hours and when he comes home at night he's exhausted.”
"I'll do my share, don't worry, and when Daddy comes home at night I'll treat him like a king.”
"No, you won't. You'll leave him alone so he can rest.”
"Agnus, would you relax. You remind me of my drill sergeant at Fort Bragg,” Daddy said. “You can treat me like a king, sweetheart and I'll treat you like a princess, okay?'
"Tom, you should be honest with Sarah. She should know that this is just an experiment and–"
“God damn it! Agnus, would you shut up!” Daddy was really angry. His face turned red.
"An experiment? I don't understand,” I said. I was crushed to find out my stay may not be permanent. That sick, empty feeling that I thought I'd lost forever came roaring back with a vengeance. I glared at Agnus.
"Damn you, Agnus! . . . I'm sorry, honey. What Agnus is saying is that life up here in Alaska is tough. We have long, hard winters with only three or four hours of sunlight a day. When the summer finally comes, it's very short and always raining. You may not like it here.”
"It rains a lot in Portland too but I don't mind it. I'll love it here, I know I will. I just want to be with you, Daddy. Don't send me back to Grandma's, please.”
"Don't worry. You can stay here as long as you like.”
After the parade and lunch at the pizza parlor, Daddy took us home. Since there wasn't a bridge we had to take the ferry across to Douglas Island. As we drove up to the house, I could hardly contain myself. Daddy parked the car in the driveway and I ran out to see my new home. It was a white frame house, a little small but very neat and cozy. I ran inside and inspected each room.
"This is perfect. I love it!” I said.
Tom laughed. “Well, I'm glad. You're going to be spending a lot of time in here. You better like it.”
"I do. It's wonderful.”
When I went to bed that night, I felt better than I had in years. I knew I would be happy in Alaska. I was a little worried about Agnus but I figured if I worked hard and made myself indispensable to her she would never even think about sending me away.
For the next several weeks Daddy and I did everything together. He showed me Mendenhall Glacier, the humpback whales swimming up Favorite Channel and the bald eagles feeding on young salmon at Shelter Island. He even let me ride a mule around the mining camp and helped me carve a totem pole. But what I liked most of all was just being with him, talking and getting reacquainted. After only a few weeks I felt very close to my father again and the memories of all those rotten years in the past disappeared quickly. Like I said, for the first time in my life, I was happy and was looking forward to each day. Unfortunately it didn't last.
One night, several months after my arrival, Daddy came home very late. Agnus had prepared dinner several hours earlier and she was pissed that Daddy wasn't there to eat it. She glared at him as he stumbled through the front door after ten o'clock. When I saw him, I ran over to him because I was afraid he was going to fall.
"Where the hell have you been? It's nearly ten-thirty,” Agnus said.
"We had to go into Juneau to pick up some supplies. Two of the loaders at Arrow's Lumber were out sick. There was a line you wouldn't believe.”
"And you obviously went to Sollie's Saloon while you waited,” she said.
"That's where the guys wanted to go. What was I supposed to do?”
"Damn you, Tom! You've been nine months without a drink. Why didn't you have the sense to stay away from there?”
"What makes you think I had a drink?”
"Tell me with a straight face you sat there and watched everyone else drink beer while you sipped a Coke.”
Daddy just stared at Agnus without saying a word. I let go of him feeling embarrassed by being in the middle of the argument. So I slowly retreated to my room.
"You think I nursed you back to health because I had nothing better to do! I thought we could build a future together. I even consented to playing mommie to your little princess because I thought you were committed to this relationship.”
"I don't have to take this shit from you, Agnus! All I had was a lousy beer.”
"Yeah, right. That's why your eyes are bloodshot and you could hardly get through the door.”
"I'm not drunk,” Tom said.
"I won't put up with this, Tom. I've pulled you out the gutter too many times. I told you this was your last chance.”
"So what are you goi
ng to do? Leave me because I had a few drinks with the guys. You're making a big deal over nothing. You're acting like I boned your best friend or something, Jesus!”
"You won't think it's nothing when I'm gone and you have to send your precious little daughter back to Oregon!”
I had been listening intently to the argument and had been deeply hurt by what Agnus had said about me. Suddenly I couldn't stand it anymore. I ran out of my room and started screaming at Daddy, "Stop arguing, Daddy! Please stop arguing! You're scaring me.”
"Agnus looked at me as I was clinging to Daddy, tears rolling down my eyes. Then she shook her head, walked into the bedroom and slammed the door. I helped Daddy to the sofa where he soon fell asleep. For a while I sat there and watched him, trembling from a combination of fear of being sent back to Oregon and the cold Alaskan night. The sudden jolt of reality Agnus had provided had been unsettling to say the least. Before I went to sleep, I prayed that all would be forgotten by morning.
Unfortunately the fights continued, getting more violent and occurring more frequently as Daddy began to lose control of his life again. I don't know what brought it on. I couldn't understand why he was drinking again. The thought crossed my mind that perhaps he regretted sending for me.
I was cool to Agnus after that night. I knew now that Agnus didn't care about me and that was very painful because I really was starting to like her. After that night everything changed.
It all came to a head one evening a couple of months later. There was a church social scheduled and I had been looking forward to going to it all week. Friday afternoon I had been working on the dress I was going to wear when Agnus walked in.
"I thought I told you to mop the kitchen floor and put out the trash,” Agnus said.
"I will in just a minute,” I replied.
"Agnus walked over to me and ripped the dress out of my hand causing it to tear down the middle.
"Put that dress down and get in there and do your chores, girl!” she screamed.
"Look what you did! You tore my dress!” I said.
"Too bad! You should have done your chores before you starting working on it. It serves you right.”
"I couldn't believe that Angus had ruined my dress. I was really mad so I screamed at her, “You're mean. I hate you.”
"Agnus' face got really tight and then she clenched her fist and smacked me across the face. "Don't you talk to me like that little girl! I'll take the belt to you. You spoiled little brat!”
Totally shocked by the sudden violent attack, I stormed out of the house and ran down the snow-covered street. I was so mad I could hardly stand it. At first I was going to run away but then I realized how difficult that would be in the snow and besides it would be exactly what Agnus would want. No, I decided I would just hide for a while, give her a scare and make her miss the social.
I wandered around until I saw the security shack at the entrance to the mine. I decided to sneak inside and hide in the storage room where it would be warm. Once inside I found some blankets, laid down and went to sleep. When Daddy came home, he noticed I was missing so he quizzed Agnus about it. She told him what had happened. Daddy got very angry and he almost hit her. When he left to go look for me, Agnus told him that she had taken all she could handle and she was leaving.
Daddy was too worried about me to try to stop her. He immediately left the house to search for me. He went to town first searching all around. Not finding me, he headed for the mine. As he walked toward it, he scanned the surrounding terrain hoping to see me wandering around or playing in the snow. When he reached the security shack, he asked the guard if he had seen me. The guard said no but he said he had left for a while so it was possible I might have come by. When he reached the mine, he was worried that he hadn't found me. The temperature was in the low thirties and it was starting to get dark.
Daddy stared down into the mine wondering if I had ventured down there. He knew I had been in the mine before so it was possible I might have gone in. He hesitated a moment but finally decided to take a look. He grabbed a hard hat and started his descent into the depths of the earth.
“Sarah! Are you down here?!” he yelled.
"When I woke up, I went outside to look around. I figured it was time to go home, you know. Agnus had been punished enough. As I was walking away, the security guard spotted me.
"Sarah! . . . Your father's been looking for you.”
"Oh. Where is he?”
"He was headed down toward the mine. You better go find him before you get in a heap of trouble.”
"I will. Thanks, I said.”
"I began to wander around the base of the mine looking for him. After searching everywhere I decided he must have gone in. I grabbed a hard hat with a light and started down into the shaft. The hat was too big for me so I had to hold it with one hand all the time. I was a little scared going down the metal stairs that led into the darkness of the mine, but having been down there before, I felt confident enough to continue.
"When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I started walking down the short, narrow tunnel toward where I assumed my father would be. It was cold and damp and I could hear water dripping down the walls beside me. I noticed a big puddle that had accumulated behind the staircase. The first time I had been in the mine I had played in the water and got into trouble. Before long I began to smell a strange odor and began to feel sick. Suddenly I heard a noise up ahead. It sounded like someone coughing. I picked up my pace toward the noise. It was very dark so I took it pretty slow. As I moved deeper into the mine, I too began to cough as the gas became stronger and stronger. At times I thought I was going to faint as I breathed in the toxic fumes.
"Finally I saw Daddy in the distance, flat on the ground, straining to get up. I rushed over to him and helped him struggle to his feet. Together we staggered back toward the mouth of the mine. Unfortunately I too was overcome by the poisonous gas and finally we both collapsed and lay silently on the earth near death. Luckily there was a breath of fresh air from the mouth of the mine. I opened my eyes and looked at my father's limp body. “No!" I screamed. “I am not going to let you die!” I grabbed the rock on the wall of the mine shaft and pulled myself up. Then I leaned over Daddy's body and began slapping his face.
"Wake up, Daddy! . . . Wake up!”
"Daddy struggled to open his eyes. He smiled faintly at seeing me. Then he realized what had happened and he tried desperately to get up. Together, somehow, we made our way toward the light at the end of the mine shaft. Luckily for both of us the security guard had come looking for us.
"Sarah, you down there,” he yelled.
I perked up at hearing his voice. “Down here! Help us!”
The guard came down the metal stairs and carefully made his way toward's us. When he finally made it, he began to gag from the stench of the poisonous gas.
"Come on,” he said as he extended his hand. “Let's get the hell out of here.”
"The three of us picked up our pace and finally reached the metal stairs. By this time I was too weak to make it out so the guard carried me up and then went back down to get Daddy. When he got to the bottom of the mine he leaned over and tried to pull him over his shoulders. This was a real strain for a sixty-year-old man with a bad knee and lungs full of methane gas. I looked on from above scared to death that I would never see my father again alive.
"As the guard slowly brought him up the stairs he became dizzy and started to stumble. I gripped the rail tightly at seeing his distress and started to go down to help him but it was too late. He fell and he and Daddy tumbled down the stairs. As they fell, the guard lost his hard hat and it crashed against the steel stairwell throwing a spark that ignited the methane gas. Suddenly the gas exploded and I had to quickly retreat to avoid the hot flames.
A massive stream of black smoke began to flood out of the mine. I screamed in terror as Daddy and the guard disappeared behind the wall of smoke. I realized I had to do something fast. Looking around I saw the water
tub used for the mules that worked in the mine. I ran over to it, broke the thin layer of ice on the surface and jumped in, drenching my clothes. The frigid water took my breath away. I got out and grabbed two saddle blankets and held them under the water until they were saturated. After that I ran back into the mine, holding one of the wet blankets around my body. I quickly ran down the hot metal staircase. The smoke was so thick I could barely see. When I got to the bottom of the pit, I saw the guard and Daddy huddled against the side of the mine shaft in the pool of water I had seen earlier. They were both unconscious, but didn't appear to be burned.
"I shook them and pulled on their arms but I got no response. There was no way I was going to get them out of the mine so I wrapped one of the wet blankets around each of them and then ran back up the stairs to get help. Just as I cleared the mine there was another explosion. Fire shot out of the mouth of the mine high into the air and my heart sank.
“No!” I screamed as I fell to my knees and began to cry. “No! Please God, no!”
"Just then I heard excited voices. I looked up and several men were approaching quickly. “Sarah, what happened?” one of the men said.
"They're at the bottom of the stairs! You've got to save them!”
The men began running toward the mine as fast as they could. They ran into the shack and came out with heavy coats and gas masks. Quickly they descended into the fiery pit. I ran back to the mouth of the mine and waited anxiously. I couldn't bear the thought of losing Daddy. He had to be alive. I knelt down, put my face in my hands and prayed. After what seemed an eternity, I heard a familiar voice. "Sarah, are you all right?” Daddy said.
I looked up and tears of joy began flowing down my cheeks.
"Daddy, you're alive! Oh Daddy, I was so scared,” I said as I stood up and hugged him. “I thought I was going to lose you.”
"I know. . . . You're a brave little girl. If you hadn't come looking for me, I'd be dead right now. You saved my life.”
When Daddy and I got back to the house, Agnus was gone.