He took my hand, biting his lip. "I can do it. Like you said, we were friends before."
Easy as that...
"So what have you been up to while you were away?" I asked.
"Ah, you know, studying to be a brain surgeon."
Smiling, I replied, "Yeah? How's that going?"
"Good. Saved my fiftieth patient last month."
I narrowed my eyes. "You played Xbox the entire time, didn't you?"
"Not the entire time. We had to live normal lives so we went to college. I'm working on my architectural degree."
"That's awesome, Jace." God, I was so happy to hear that. "You're transferring here?"
"Already have. I'm a year behind where I should be but it took a while to get back into... life."
That sounded familiar. "I'm applying for jobs in a few places in town, we could meet up on campus maybe?"
"Of fucking course we will." He frowned and laughed. "That was a very Logan thing to say."
"Yes. He does like that word. His best is five fuckings in one sentence."
"You keep count?"
"Me and Cassie might have a little wager going."
He laughed and it took me right back a few years. It was so good to hear that laugh again. "Of course you two do."
Fifty pounds to whoever counted the most in one sentence by the end of the year.
"Are you okay about me and Logan?"
"After..." He pointed to the spot on my stomach where I'd been operated on, not able to say the words. "I'm a lot better with it. Don't get me wrong, it's still..."
"Yeah, I understand."
He nodded once. "But I love you and I love him. He's changed."
You should've seen him after he thought you'd died then.
"He has changed."
"I was honestly concerned he'd die alone. I thought he was overly picky and looking for some kind of perfection that didn't exist. Makes sense now, though. His idea of perfect, and mine, is you. Can't blame him for that."
What do I say to that? One second all was great with Jace and the next he made me feel like a huge bitch again. He hadn't done it on purpose though, and there was going to be some awkwardness as we figured out a way to make a friendship work.
"Sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to make it weird."
"I know."
"Logan's happy. I want to be able to hate him, hate you both, but I can't. This won't be easy, Chloe, and there will be times we have conversations that are hard, but necessary, but I'm more than willing to go through all that shit if it means we can be in each others lives."
"Done. I'm so ready to have you back, Jace, no matter what we have to go through to get it." He leant forwards and kissed my cheek. "So tell me about the girl you lived with."
Frowning, he replied, "It wasn't like that."
"I know, but she was a big part of your life for over three years. I'd quite like to know more about her. Maybe meet her?" She was going to think I was a bitch for sure.
"Alyssa's cool. You'd like her."
"She's cool? That's all you have to say about her?"
With a smirk, he added, "She's tall, got dark red hair, brown eyes, and a small scar on her eyebrow where a piercing ripped out. She loves helping people and is training to be a nurse. When she got home the first thing she did was announce that she's gay, literally those were her first words. Apparently, her parents screamed, but because she was alive not because she's a lesbian, that they don't care about. When she told me she also said she was going back to Alyssa so I wasn't to call her April anymore, I've slipped up a few times so she's now taken to hitting me in the balls when I do."
I laughed, wincing as the morphine was beginning to wear off. "I think I will like her."
"You will. I might have to do damage control, though."
"You've been slagging me off to her? Arse!" I slapped his arm. There wasn't much room for me to be angry with him, though. He had a right to under the circumstances.
"It's cool, she'll understand."
I wasn't quite sure why it meant that much to me to get along with her. She'd been Jace's friend and the one person he could really lean on and talk to. It must have been so lonely for him so I was grateful for her.
Logan had clearly decided to take my 'can I have a few minutes with Jace' literally because he walked back into the room with Cass having given us less than a quarter of an hour.
"Everything okay?" he asked, handing me and Jace a coffee even though we'd said we were fine. He was always looking out for everyone else.
For the first time since Jace came back I felt like everything was okay. Or going to be anyway.
"Yeah, it is," Jace said, giving me the little smile I loved.
Chapter Forty-nine
Chloe
It had been a month since I got out of hospital and the only evidence of my injuries was a very small scar on my stomach, that was now healed and pain free. The driver got a fine and driving ban, which was about all I'd expected.
"No," Jace said into the phone and sighed. "I won't let her carry anything heavy... Yes, I'll make sure she takes it easy. Hello? Logan?" Jace made a crackling sound. "I can't hear you, bro, you're breaking up, bye." He hung up and put his phone in his pocket, rolling his eyes.
"Logan's on form then," I said as we walked down the Christmas decorated high street. We'd made the trip into the city to do some shopping. After I got out of hospital and we'd sorted through everything we made a pact to do something each week, even if it was just grabbing a quick coffee. Jace was important to me and I loved that we could be friends. It wasn't always easy but it was getting better.
"Yeah, I forgot how much of a worrier he is. I get it though, you sure you're okay to be shopping like this?"
"Yes, it's been a month, Jace, and I'm totally healed. I don't want to do all of my Christmas shopping online. Plus, you suck at getting your mum presents so I'm here to help you, and her, too."
"I want to get something for Alyssa as well. Any ideas?"
"I've met the girl a grand total of one time and you lived with her for three years. Why are you asking me? Ooh, book her in for that infinity tattoo she wants on her wrist."
"See!" He pointed to me. "That's exactly why I asked you. Remind me to call and book that later."
I was happy that he had such a great friend, most of his old ones had moved on. He had me but it wasn't the same. We were committed to making a friendship work but too much had happened for us to be best friends that shared everything.
Alyssa and I got along; we'd met briefly at Logan's house when Jace brought her over for the afternoon. It was after the accident, which put a lot into perspective for us all. Jace had admitted he still had feelings for me but he also admitted that he was happy seeing me and Logan happy. It was all kinds of screwed up but we were making it work for us so at the end of the day that was all that mattered.
"What're you getting Logan?" he asked.
I shrugged. "No clue. He was chatting about some new rowing machine thing."
"Why would he want that when he works at a gym and can use theirs whenever he wants?"
"Thank you!" I said, throwing my hands up. "But he wants it so I'll listen more and see if I can get it."
"I'll bring it up in conversation and let you know. It'll be obvious if you try getting it out of him now."
"He'll know anyway, but thanks, Jace." He was really trying and I loved that. I hadn't planned to shop for Logan at all today; it was just a little too weird getting the ex to help me pick out my boyfriend's present.
"So is Alyssa meeting us for lunch?" I asked, trying to change the subject as quickly as possible. We weren't quite ready for lengthily conversations about mine and Logan's relationship just yet.
"She might, I've got to text her in a bit and see if it's cool."
"You're waiting for me to tell you if it's cool, aren't you?"
He shrugged one shoulder lazily. "I wasn't sure if you'd want her there. I thought you wanted it to just be us."
> "It's just us, I like the time we spend together, it's important to me, but we can meet up with Alyssa for lunch."
"I found that weird at first."
"Me wanting to spend time with you or Alyssa?"
He frowned and stopped outside in the freezing cold. The icy temperature had turned his nose and cheeks pink, mine, too, probably. "Well, both actually but I was talking about me."
"You know you're important. What we had was important and I couldn't ignore it even if I wanted to. And hey, you want to still be in my life after everything, too."
"Yeah, I do. It's not easy letting go of that much history, even if it would've been easier." I was about to question easier when he corrected himself. "Maybe that's not the right word for it. I don't know how to explain it."
"No, I get what you mean, Jace. We're still feeling our way through this. It'll get easier with time."
When he just loved me the way I loved him it would be a million times easier on everyone. I had to be patient with that, I'd had years to get over him and move on, he was only just starting to do it now, but I had no doubt that he would do it and go on to find who he was really supposed to be with.
"Think we can grab a hot chocolate from Starbucks before this starts to get really awkward," I said, grimacing.
Laughing, he nodded. "Yeah, I'm buying for being the one that started the awkward."
"Sounds good to me. Don't forget to text Alyssa."
We shopped all morning and planned a break for lunch at one. I had pretty much finished getting the presents I wanted, apart from Logan's rowing... whatever it was.
"Lyss can't make it, just us for lunch. That okay?" Jace said.
"Of course it's okay." I didn't need a third person to be with us. That would defeat the point of us trying to build a friendship anyway. "Where do you want to go?"
"You choose."
"Hmm, okay, maybe Giraffe? I fancy a burger."
With a little nod, he changed direction and we headed to the restaurant. He'd unloaded our bags back at the car so we could eat and get back to shopping. Although I was almost done when we listed the people Jace needed to buy for it was clear he wasn't.
We were seated quickly, considering the streets were packed with shoppers.
"What did you do for Christmas while I was away?" he asked.
Before he left we spent Christmas morning with our family, then in the evening he came over to pick me up, spent an hour with my parents and then we went back to his until I had to be home.
"Last year I did our usual but before that..." I shrugged. Before that no one felt that festive. "What about you?"
"Me and Lyss made our own version of a Christmas dinner and exchanged presents."
"Your own version being junk food?"
"Yeah."
"Thought so." I was too busy thinking of how awful that first Christmas was especially to think about what it was like for him. He was away from home, knowing we thought we'd never see him again. It was horrible.
"I'm sorry, Jace."
"Don't be. It was my fault, remember."
"No," I replied, finally getting it. "It wasn't your fault. You were put in a shitty position and you did what you thought was right. You did what was right. I was selfish to be mad at you for putting the lives of potentially hundreds of other people before me."
"It wasn't before you, Chloe."
"Right, sorry, that was put badly. What I'm saying is I understand why you did it and I'm really sorry for how I behaved when you came back. I guess the shock of seeing you again after going through losing you made me kind of... well, lose it."
"Wasn't all you. I could've handled coming back better. I could've also handled you and Logan better."
"Yeah, I don't think anyone can blame you for how you handled that."
"Cassie's right about one thing, if I really had died, I would've wanted it to be Logan. There was no one else I trusted to look out for you more than him. He loved me so I knew he'd protect you, turns out he protected you for another reason, too, but I can't blame him for that."
"Thank you," I said, on the verge of bloody tears. It meant so much to have him say that and to realise Jace had done what he had to, what I would've done to keep the people I loved safe. "God, I'm so glad we did this."
"Feels good to get shit sorted, doesn't it?" he replied.
"It does."
***
I lugged the bags of shopping upstairs instead of one by one like I'd promised Jace. They were more awkward than heavy, and I knew my own body, I was fine. I kicked the door open and immediately dropped the bags. Logan sat on my bed, looking less than amused that I'd carried so much.
"Chloe!" he said, getting off the bed. "What the hell? Why didn't Jace carry those?"
"He did and he offered to bring them upstairs but I declined. It was just a little too soon for him to be in my room. I promised to take them up a couple at a time but I couldn't be bothered to make the many trips. I'm fine, Logan. No pain, I swear."
He walked towards me, fighting a smile. "You're rambling, sweetheart. You don't have to explain yourself to me, just please, take better care. You might feel okay but you're healing still. I need you around and I need you to be okay. You're kind of everything."
I walked straight into his arms. "You're sweet and kind of everything, too. I'll be more careful until you realise I'm fine. When will that be by the way? It's been ages, Logan."
He shook his head in mock horror. "Is that all you think about, Miss Holland?" I rolled my eyes, clinging to him. "I worry about you. I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't hurt me. I'm fine. I miss you, Logan."
"You're on top. If it hurts you stop or it won't happen again for another fucking year."
At first I was stunned, both in the way he said it and that he'd actually agreed. I thought he'd wait until the scar was practically invisible before he touched me again.
"Logan, there is no way you could go a whole year."
He narrowed his eyes. "Fuck me, sweetheart."
It took only a few seconds for the shock to wear off and my body to burn with need. Well, who was I to say no to that?
Epilogue
Chloe
They say that moving house was one of the most stressful things you could do - they're totally right. It had been two weeks since we'd got the keys and I was desperate to move in. The place needed a new bathroom, kitchen, tiled kitchen flooring and carpet throughout though, so we decided to paint the two bedroom house and schedule all the work in those two weeks before we moved in.
As much as I just wanted to move I was glad we waited and didn't have to live around the mess as the work was being done. Finally though, fifteen days after the house was officially ours we were ready to move in.
Surprisingly, Logan had the most stuff. His parents' garage was full of gym equipment and furniture he'd bought over the last few years. The removal van was parked outside and our helpers were loading everything up.
Being impatient as hell, last night I dragged Cassie and Nell to mine where we boxed the final things up and took them to the house. I couldn't wait and knew that Logan's stuff would take forever. My things, which wasn't much, were already put neatly away.
"Logan!" I shouted. "Why are you still here? The sofa is being delivered this morning and no one's there to--" He kissed me, which was both of our preferred way of shutting me up.
"I'm now going. Stop stressing, sweetheart."
I couldn't stop stressing; it was kind of what you were supposed to do when you moved. There were a million things going on at once and Logan was a little too laid back.
"Mum's going over in a minute with boxes of kitchen shit. She said she'd stay there now and unpack it. Want to go too, and decide where we're keeping stuff?" Logan's collection included everything we'd need to cook and eat. The boy had done good because over the last year all I'd bought for a house was three cake tins.
"Yeah, okay."
He kissed me again. "I'll see you over there
in a few. Got your key?"
Once I'd forgotten my key but do you think he'd let it go?
"Yes," I replied, giving him a shove in the direction of the door. "Go! If you miss that delivery and we can't christen the sofa tonight I won't be happy."
That did it. His eyes widened, blistered and then he was jogging out of the door. Men were so easy.
"Chloe, want me to accidentally break this?" Jace asked, holding up Logan's framed old Jack Daniels poster.
That was such a tempting idea. The thing was ugly. "No," I said and sighed. "I appreciate the thought but I'll just make him have it somewhere it won't be seen. In the walk-in wardrobe behind the clothes maybe."
He laughed and said, "Alright." It had been a little over eight months since Jace came home and things were finally okay. He'd started seeing a lovely girl called Daphnee last month and I was thrilled for him. Jace had even reached the point where in an argument with Logan he could shut him up by saying whatever, man, you stole my girlfriend. It was quite effective, until Logan started giving him a dead arm.
"Daph stopping by tonight?"
"If she gets off work early enough."
"Cool," I replied. "Would be good to see her again." Despite the history and unique situation between me and Jace I got along with Daphnee really well. She was a bit of a gamer too, so a much better fit for Jace than I ever was.
"Don't you have some girlie night planned?"
"Next week, yes. Don't worry, I'll look after her."
He widened his eyes in mock horror.
Daphnee was a new addition to my group of friends that since Jace getting back and being run over had got a lot closer. I loved having the people I cared about closer together. Plus, I was on a mission to sort out Nell and Damon's idiocy and find Cassie a man that deserved her. Daphnee was a bit of a romantic so I knew together we'd make a great cupid team.
"Are all the boxes out of the garage yet?"
He grinned too wide for it to be genuine and that was my answer. "We've loaded about half. Good thing you have a big garage."
"That's the only reason all his stuff is coming with us."
I picked up a box labelled DVDs and carried it out to the front garden where we were chucking everything for my dad and Daryl to load it up.